The Risk: A Billionaire Romance (Wagered Hearts Series, Book 2) (23 page)

“It can’t be as bad as all that. She’ll get over it soon enough, I’m sure,” I said with forced cheerfulness. I didn’t know if I was trying to convince Candace or myself of that fact.

“Uh oh,” Candace whispered, looking over my shoulder.

I turned around to see my mother’s new assistant, Shelly, making her way in our direction.

“I hope she doesn’t stop here,” I said.

“Don’t hold your breath.”

Shelly stopped in front of our cubicle and smiled at me apologetically. “Your mother, uh, Ms. Abelgard, would like a word with you,” she said.

I exchanged a look with Candace and blew out a heavy breath. So this was it. I knew this conversation was coming ever since Chad told me about what my mother said. It was inevitable. I just hoped it would have been somewhere other than our workplace. I really didn’t need everyone at work knowing our business.

Shelly began walking back and I got up slowly to follow her.

“Good luck!” Candace said.

“I’ll need it.”

Shelly led me to my mother’s office, which was completely unnecessary since I knew where it was. It felt like I was being sent to the principal’s office for getting caught smoking in the bathroom, except in this case, I knew I did nothing wrong. If anything, my mother was the one who had some explaining to do.

I knocked on the door and waited for her to call me in. I waited twenty seconds and there was still no answer. My hand was poised to knock again when I heard her voice boom from the other side. “Come in!”

I opened the door and peeked my head in first and saw her sitting at her desk glaring at me. “For God sakes, Melanie, get in here!” she snapped.

I pushed open the door and walked in, shutting it firmly behind me. Best not to have an audience, I told myself. She didn’t say anything at first and just sat at her desk, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared at me.

“You wanted to see me?” I said. I didn’t know if I should stand or take the seat opposite her desk. In the end, I thought it better to remain standing. It seemed like a less vulnerable position to be in, and looking at my mother, she looked like a predator poised to strike.

“Yes, I did,” she said, her voice deadly calm. “What’s this I hear about you and Chad?”

Instead of giving her a straight answer, I wanted to find out exactly how much she knew. “I don’t know,” I said. “What did you hear about Chad and me?”

“Don’t be smart with me Melanie. Tell me the truth. Did you turn down his proposal?”

I hesitated before answering but then realized there was no point in trying to deny it. She would have found out sooner or later anyways, if she didn’t already know everything.

“Yes,” I said.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples in a circular motion with her index and middle finger as if soothing away a headache. When she finally opened her eyes again, she glared straight at me. I was momentarily caught off guard by the expression. I’d never seen such a look of disgust and anger on her face before. Sure, I’d seen her be disappointed, or bored or even appalled but never this intense look of loathing. It sent chills up and down my spine. For a moment, I couldn’t believe this woman was my mother.

“You are such a…disappointment,” she finally said. “All your life, you’ve never done anything right. Didn’t arrive on time, weren’t the right sex, or the right coloring, you even have your father’s stubby nose. The one time I give you a chance to prove yourself to be something other than ordinary and you fail spectacularly,” she seethed.

“Why are you saying these things?” I asked, too shocked to say anything else.

“Do you think you’ll ever do any better than Chad? Honestly I’m surprised he even showed an interest in you in the first place. Chad Remington was the best thing to ever happen to you and you just threw it all away,” she continued, ignoring me.

“But I didn’t love him. Why did you want me to marry Chad so badly? You never took an interest in my life before,” I asked, unable to keep the hurt from my voice.

“Who cares! He was rich, well-bred with an impeccable family and even I couldn’t fault him for his looks. What else do you need? Oh wait,” she sneered. “You were infatuated with that Ryan Marsden and thought you could do better. I had it all planned out and you had to go and ruin it with your stupid emotions.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That damn Ryan Marsden thinks he can waltz in here and act like he owns the place? We’ll see about that! Nobody’s getting rid of me that easily, especially not that no class little upstart. Things were fine before he came along,” she ranted.

I stood and stared at her too astonished to say anything. “What do you mean? Get rid of you?”

“I mean the board is talking about replacing me! Hah! As if that would ever happen. I’m a fucking institution. They can’t get rid of me, no matter how many votes that Marsden tries to buy. I know he’s behind it all ever since I banned his encroaching sister from the Eichendorf.”

“But what does this all have to do with Chad? I’m so confused.”

“Try to keep up, Melanie. It was obvious there was something going on between you and Marsden and I’d be damned if that nobody from nothing even looked at my daughter. You should have seen his face when I told him you and Chad were going to be engaged. Hah! I’ll enjoy that for a long time.”

“Wait. So you used me? To…what? Make Ryan jealous? All this time, I thought you were looking out for me, but you were just using me as some sort of pawn in your sick and twisted vendetta against Ryan,” I said, getting angrier the more I thought about it.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Melanie,” she dismissed.

“Dramatic? Oh, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?” I exploded. “As if you’ve been such an even tempered saint.”

“At least I’m not pathetic. You’re almost 27 and what have you done with your life? Worked on a blog? Got a job as a junior assistant at a magazine? One that your mother happens to be the editor of. By your age, I was already the fashion editor at Vingt magazine, world travelled and highly accomplished. If I didn’t give birth to you, I would never have believed I could spawn someone so totally…lacking.”

Her words cut deep and hurt me to my core. In a way it surprised me that she could still hurt me so much after all the scorn I’d had to deal with from her my whole life. But there it was. I’d never stopped craving my mother’s approval and now she was proving to me that I was living in a fantasy land. She wasn’t capable of love and I’d been deluding myself my whole life.

As she continued ranting at me, I actually found the realization liberating. It was as if I had nothing to lose anymore. Since she would never give me her love or approval, she finally lost that power over me. I realized I didn’t have to try any more. I didn’t have to try to be perfect. I didn’t have to try not to upset her and I didn’t have to try to be someone she wanted me to be. I could just be myself, and screw her and her opinions.

“What the hell are you smiling at?” she snapped at me.

I didn’t even realize I’d been smiling, but it widened at her question. “You’re a ridiculous woman,” I said. “I finally see it now. All this time I’ve been blinded by this idea I had of you, but in reality you’re nothing but a cold hearted bitch.”

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that!”

“I can speak to you anyway I want. You’re nothing to me now,” I said, in a voice of deadly calm.

“Not if you want to keep your job, you won’t.”

“I don’t. I quit. I can’t stand looking at you for another second.”

“You can’t quit! I’m your mother!” she said, standing up and looking alarmed for the first time.

“You may have given birth to me, but you’ve never been a mother. I don’t know why I thought you could change or that there was some good in you, but I’m a grown woman now and I choose not to surround myself with negative and toxic people like you.”

“How dare you!”

“Oh, I dare. You’re selfish, bitter and you’ll always be alone. Now I know why dad walked out on you,” I said before marching towards the door and pulling the handle open.

“If you walk out that door, don’t ever expect to come back or to be acknowledged by me again,” she warned.

I didn’t even turn around to look at her. I stepped out of her office and slammed the door shut. I was still running on adrenaline and indignation and walked over to my cubicle and began shoving my things into my purse. It was a good thing I didn’t have much, just a couple of photographs and a snow globe I’d gotten on a shoot in Berlin.

“What the heck happened?” Candace asked, taking in my appearance. “You look like hell.”

“I quit,” I stated.

Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in surprise. She didn’t say anything for a while, but when she finally gathered her wits, she stood up and gave me a hug. “Good for you!” she said. “I’ve half a mind to follow you out that door.”

“You should,” I said. “This place is a wasteland. But we’ll talk about it later. I want to leave now before she chases me out of the building with her pitchfork.”

I slipped my purse over my shoulder and headed for the exit. Once outside, I slumped against the wall as the weight and realization of what I’d just done finally hit me.

I was meeting Lily for brunch this morning. She’d been in London for the past several weeks. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until she was gone, especially now, in light of all that went down with my mother. It had only been a few days since that confrontation and I was still reeling from it.

After I left the office that day, I’d been in a daze. I walked around the city for a bit, not really knowing where to go. My mind was going in circles, replaying the scene over and over in my head, and trying to make sense of it all. Once I got back to my apartment, I remained there for days, not bothering to venture out. It wasn’t like I had a job or anywhere to be.

Just thinking about it again left me cold and numb. This was the first time I’d been out of the apartment since quitting, and I needed it. I needed to see Lily and confess it all to her. She, more than anyone, knew my history with Chad and my mother.

I arrived at the restaurant early and took a seat. Lily walked through the door five minutes later and spotted me immediately. I felt a huge smile spread across my face as I stood up to greet her.

“You look ah-mazing!” I gushed.

“Thanks, Mel! Right back at cha,” she grinned.

Once she had taken her seat and we’d placed our orders, she leaned forward and pinned me with an intense stare. “Ok, so what’s been going on while I’ve been gone? I haven’t heard a peep from you except a couple of short emails. I feel like I’ve been away a lot longer than a few weeks,” she said.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” I said.

“So, a lot has happened? Are you and Ryan…uh…still together?” she asked hesitantly.

I laughed nervously. “You certainly don’t beat around the bush,” I said. I hadn’t told her about Chad and my short reconciliation because I’d been afraid of her reaction. He had hurt me badly and she was there to see it all. I knew she’d be upset, but I couldn’t hide it from her anymore.

“No, I don’t think Ryan and I were ever together like that,” I began. She cocked an inquisitive eyebrow, but remained silent while I continued. “Chad and I got back together,” I blurted out in a rush. “But it’s over now.”

It took a moment for the news to sink in. Her face was blank at first and then a frown appeared on her forehead as she narrowed her eyes in confusion. I knew the moment that she finally understood what I’d just told her because her eyes widened in disbelief and her mouth hung open. She shot up from her chair and looked down at me incredulously. “Shut up!” she nearly shouted.

I glanced around us nervously and pulled her back down into her seat. “Geez, calm down, will you? You’re worse than Candace,” I whispered.

Lily shook her head several times, still looking like she didn’t believe me. She took a long sip of her water before slowly placing it back on the table with deliberation. Finally, she looked back up at me. “Tell me you’re kidding, Mel,” she said.

I swallowed past the dryness in my throat and slowly shook my head. This conversation was a lot harder than I’d expected. I knew Lily might be upset. After all, she’d seen me at my worst after Chad left, so she knew how devastated I’d been.

“Are you out of your mind? Have you been taking some mind altering drugs while I’ve been away? Why would you do this?” she asked in rapid fire succession.

“I listened to someone I shouldn’t have,” I said. “But like I said, it’s over now.”

“Thank God for that,” she said.

“Chad wasn’t all that bad, really. Don’t get me wrong, he did hurt me, but I don’t think he did it maliciously. He was just immature.”

“Why are you defending that ass?” she asked.

“Because…I feel bad about turning down his proposal,” I said.

“WHAT?! What proposal?” Lily screeched. “My God, woman, I haven’t even been here for ten minutes and you’re about to give me a heart attack.”

Despite the heaviness of the situation, I had the sudden urge to laugh. Lily looked like a cartoon character, with her eyes bugging out, her mouth gaping open like a fish out of water and a look of utter astonishment on her face. But I knew the next bit of news would be unpleasant and that wiped the smile off my face. I’d dreaded rehashing it all again and reliving the ugliness with my mother, but it needed to be done. I couldn’t keep it bottled up inside to eat away at me. I was tired of always defending that woman when she’d done nothing to deserve it, and more than anything, I needed Lily’s advice.

“Before I tell you about that, I need to go back and tell you about my mother’s involvement,” I said.

“What’s Cora have to do with it?” she asked, clearly confused.

“I’m going to get to it,” I said. I took a deep breath and began. I told Lily about Chad calling me up out of the blue and me agreeing to meet with him. “Now, I know that look on your face, and yes, it was a mistake,” I said, preempting Lily’s words.

“I wasn’t about to say anything,” she muttered unconvincingly.

“So, I met with Chad and he told me how much he missed me and how he made a mistake leaving me. He wanted me to give him another chance. I was so confused, Lily. I mean, all these months I’d fantasized about that exact situation, and there it was happening before my very eyes.