The Shattered Genesis (Eternity) (118 page)

             
“I know what you’re thinking.” Elijah told me softly after we had hopped the canal and begun our trek through the shadowed forest.

             
“I sincerely doubt that.”

             
I avoided his eyes as I spoke strictly out of gui
lt. I was responsible for what had happened to our sisters. If the worst happened, their blood would be on my hands. If we lost them, I wanted him to blame me. I wanted to feel every last bit of his hatred and resentment. My foolishness and naivety already
warranted public and private scorn. I wanted no one’s sympathy, for I did not deserve it.

             
“Tell me it’s my fault. Is that what you are thinking?” I whispered to him so James, Alice and Quinn could not hear.

             
“No. See, you told me you didn’t think I could
know what you’re thinking but I was right. You’re blaming yourself for this. Brynn, it’s not your…”

             
I closed my eyes, shook my head slightly, and held my hand up to stop him.

             
“I am supposed to know these things. I allowed my blood-lust to lead me away f
rom them when given the current climate, I should have stayed right by their sides where I could protect and watch over them. I do not want to imagine, even vaguely, what might happen to them. I only want to get them back. But there is one other issue that
I must resolve and it involves you. I need to know if you blame me for this.”

             
“Well, I don’t.” Elijah told me, “I don’t, Brynn. Does that help you or hurt you, to know that I don’t blame you?”

             
“Neither. It is just something else to know.” I watched as J
ames, Alice and Quinn walked ahead of us. “I will never say a negative word about those two again. Alice suffered a gunshot wound because she refused to allow Penny and Violet to be taken. Quinn immediately ran after them, suffering injuries in his pursuit
. They have earned my respect.”

             
Elijah nodded and looked at me.

             
“And I’ll never say a negative word about James again. He has earned my approval.”

             
I smiled, surprised to find how happy Elijah’s approval made me. I discovered that while I had been saying
frequently that I did not care what my brother or anyone else thought of mine and James’s relationship, Elijah’s opinion did matter greatly to me. I had always operated by the laws and morals of my heart and mind, never stopping to wonder what anyone thou
ght. Now, I was seeing that those I held dearest to me, meaning Elijah, Penny, and Violet, would hold sway over my actions. They were all I had, after all.

             
“What made you change your mind, if I might ask?” I asked him.

             
“A lot of things. He cares about
you. He protects you without thinking about his own safety. He respects you. He can deal with your insanity and send it right back at you. Plus, you told him something you never told me, which must mean you trust him. Brynna,” He looked at me with eyes beg
ging for an answer he assumed I would not give, “Why didn’t you tell me about what happened?”

             
I wanted to shut off. An icy glare and a hurried walk forward would affirm his suspicions that I would never disclose the details of what had happened to me. But
my brother deserved to know the truth after so many years of lies.

             
“I did not tell you because I hated the way people looked at me after they knew. I hated seeing their pity. Sometimes, I swear to you, I saw very slight disgust. I know now that those peo
ple must
have thought that I had some way allowed it to happen. Perhaps they even believed that I had asked. Whatever the reason and whatever the emotion behind the look, I did not like it.”

             
He stared at me for a long while, clearly fighting tears.

             
“I al
so did not want you or Violet to ever carry that burden, even minimally. I did not want you two to wonder how you could ever have loved such an evil man.”

             
“How could I, Brynn?! How could I not have…”

             
“You were very young. On the surface, Michael was very
kind. He had been present in our lives from the moment we entered that world. We all trusted him and loved him like family. It just turns out that we were all wrong.”

             
“Did he ever say why?”

             
It was a child’s question posed to me by my twenty-four year ol
d brother. Normally, I scoffed at such displays of foolish childishness. But with Elijah, I understood; his inner goodness was as pure as a child’s and thus, he was blinded to the true nature of people like Michael. I felt as though answering honestly woul
d crush his refreshing ignorance the way a boot crushes a newly bloomed lily. Tears welled in my eyes, forcing me to look away.

             
“Sometimes, there is no reason for such depravity. Just know, Eli, that I am alright now. For years, I hated everyone except fo
r you, Violet and Penny. I know it must have seemed like I hated you, too, but I did not. After what happened to Lucien, I did not want to cause you or Violet anymore pain.”

             
“But that wasn’t your fault, either! How could they have said that was your fault
? You weren’t sleeping!”

             
“I might as well have been sleeping. I just...” I rubbed my forehead with the tips of my fingers for a moment, wondering how best to continue, “I had such a firm grasp on everything around me all the time. I was always so alert th
at the slightest sound could make me jump up out of my skin. I would lapse into those fits and lose track of everything but still, my mind never relaxed. I just wallowed in the worst of it, trying to make sense of it all. Lucien paid the price for my ignor
ance.”
             

             
“But it wasn’t your fault! You were sick, Brynna. They shouldn’t have left you alone with him! And Dad was calling you a liar! I remember that! Mom believed you, but Dad didn’t! And then Mom turned on you after Lucien and that’s so horrible, Brynn
. Dad, Maura and Mom were cruel. They deserve everything they get for what they did to you!”

             
“See, that is what I was afraid of.” I stopped him from walking and grasped his hand. “I told Violet this and I will tell you as well: Do not change your feelings
towards them on my behalf. Do not allow yourself to hate those you have loved your whole life simply because they were cruel to me. It is not…”

             
“Don’t even try to tell me it’s not worth it, Brynna. It
is
worth it! They told you they wished it had been yo
u. They told you they hated you. Mom kicked you out the day you turned eighteen. Maura used to get drunk and tell you to kill yourself, for God’s sake! And I was too stupid to ask questions! I ran off to college and left you to deal with all of that by you
rself! I left you to raise Violet and Penny by yourself. And worst of all, I didn’t stop that sick piece of shit from touching you!”

             
“Stop.” I whispered to him as tears ran down his cheek. I put both of my hands on his face and wiped them away. “Eli, you
were eleven years old. You could not have known.”
             

             
“I would have killed him. I should have killed Dad, too. I will, for every time he hit you and for every time he told you he wished you were dead.”

             
“No. I have made my peace with all of this, Eli. We are
here on Pangea. We have a chance to start over. Once we get Penny and Violet back, we will start everything over. We will disappear into the woods with like-minded people and live out eternity just trying to have the best life we can. That will make up fo
r all horrible things that happened on Earth.”

             
He nodded, wiping at his eyes furiously, so ashamed of himself for crying.

             
“I’m going to lose my man-card right now.” He told me, and I chuckled softly.

             
“No. A little emotion is allowed under the stressful
circumstances. Even tough men are allowed
a few tears. If even I am saying that feelings and tears are warranted, then it must be true, right?”

             
“Do you love James?” He asked me. Upon seeing the look of surprise on my face at the random question, he elabor
ated. “You just deserve to be happy after everything. Is it serious with him? Do you think you two will be together for a long time? Do you love him?”

             
I looked ahead of us, observing James as he walked. That man had come along from nowhere and saved my li
fe not just once. He had tolerated my personal slights and the intricate difficulties of my personality and past. He was quick to make me laugh or to comfort me when my anxieties grew too large to handle alone. In fact, he did not allow me to handle
anythi
ng
alone, no matter how much I insisted or insulted. After all of that became evident, I had wanted our friendship to progress into something more and it had, beautifully and rapidly. I could not live a day without him. The love I had in my heart for him b
rought tears to my eyes and that tiny smile to my lips. Knowing that those wonderful feelings were mutual was enough to take my breath away.

             
“Yes,” I answered Elijah, “To all of the above.”

             
Elijah nodded and smiled, too.

             
“Good.”

Quinn

             
It was not
smoke or shouts that had alerted us to the presence of the Bachums. It was a full-fledged inferno. I had been out chopping wood with Eric and Teresa, a married couple from Maine. We had been joking about Don’s crazy eyes, a subject that brought much laught
er to many in the house. We respected Don tremendously for what he had done for us, but some things are too funny to ignore.

             
“Especially when he starts getting overexcited. Man, I sometimes think they’re going to fall right out of his head.” Eric told us.

             
“Do it again. Do the thing again.” Teresa urged him through her hysterical laughter.

             
Eric widened his eyes so that the whites glowed in the twilight. He pulled a sadistic, all-tooth grin and began to chop wood quickly and with gusto. Teresa and I fell o
ver ourselves, cracking up at the impression.

             
“Does this make you uncomfortable?!” Eric bellowed as he continued chopping the wood in fury.

             
We only laughed harder.

             
“Better resume our work before he gets back. Just think, guys, we’re going to be complete
ly safe pretty soon. The other side will be gone. We’ll have won. It’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?” Teresa asked with a dreamy smile.

             
“I don’t know if it’s going to be that easy.”

             
“Are you kidding? We’re tougher and stronger than they are. We’ve allowed ou
rselves to change over and they’re too afraid to do the same. They think the powers are evil. God, people like that annoy me.” Teresa shook her head.

             
“Whatever. We don’t have to worry about them anymore. I think Brynna said something about bringing back a
lot of their people. We could use more people around here, what with all the work. She doesn’t think that all of them are as devoted to the cause as the Bachums are.” Eric said, “She’s a good kid.”

             
“She’s a little crazy, but she’s definitely grown on me.
I couldn’t stand the bitchiness before but now, it’s actually kind of funny.” Teresa told us, “She really gives Don a hard time. Don’t get me wrong, I like Don. But he’s a little intense. She calls his attention to how crazy he is sometimes. Like, I guara
ntee you that she was the one that told him the amount we had to contribute needs to be less.”

             
“Knowing Brynna the way I do, I can tell you that she was definitely the force behind Don’s change of heart. She doesn’t take that stuff lying down.” I chimed i
n as I threw two pieces of wood into the wheelbarrow.

             
“Hard to believe she’s Daniel Olivier’s kid, considering how nuts he was. We would all be dead if we had stayed. We’re just fortunate enough to have chosen the side that doesn’t tell us when we’re allo
wed to eat, drink or take a…”