The Smiths and Joneses (21 page)

              “Because he’s a teenage boy who is always thinking about sex. I did at his age; I’m sure you did. Ever teenager does; they can’t help it.”

              Wolf says, “Bob, if they were brought up that everyone is equal and they are used to seeing each other naked they wouldn’t have these thoughts.”

              Bob says, “How did you change their genes? How much sexual transmitted disease cases are there in the LSA? How many cases of teen pregnancy are there in the LSA?”

              Wolf responds, “I don’t think we track these numbers after all sexual exploration is normal. It’s not something we should try to restrict. We allow people to explore what’s natural and normal. Everyone is equal; everyone has the same urges. It’s why we developed the Alpha and Beta marriages.”

              Leon says, “Wow, you mean teenagers can openly have sex in the LSA?”

              Before Bob or Carol can respond, Wolf says, “Yes, we know it’s normal, we know its all part of growing up. We don’t frown on it. Since you didn’t see last night’s program, I’ll tell you, in the LSA we have co-ed gym, co-ed restrooms and co-ed showers. We have active participation sex education classes. I’m sure there’s a lot of girls in the LSA who would love to spend some time with you. You’re the famous Leon Jones.”

              Beth says, “UGH, boys are bad. I don’t like this.”

              Leon smiles saying, “Mr. Wolf, I think I should visit the LSA and learn more about your country. I think I can learn a lot by personally visiting LA or New York City, can I get a student visa?”

              Before Bob can jump in, Wolf smiles saying, “Leon, I’ll arrange a visa for you.”

              A frown forms on Bob’s face, Carol looks surprised and upset. Both stare at Wolf. A tense silence covers the living room like a dark shadow. Wolf feels the environment in the room turn to ice. He looks at Bob and Carol, who are giving him an angry look. He pauses to think back to see if he said anything he shouldn’t have. He can’t figure out what’s wrong, he’s about to ask when Bob says, “Beth, Leon, please go to your rooms or downstairs to the basement for a while. There’s a couple of things your mother and I would like to talk with Mr. Wolf and Sean about. Take a brownie if you want.”

              Leon says, “I guess there goes my summer vacation in the LSA, darn it. I was looking forward to the trip and meeting new people.”

              Bob frowns, “Leon, we’ll discuss this later, now please take your sister and leave us until we call you back.”

              Leon says, “OK, come on Beth, the adults want to talk about us without us hearing what they’re saying.”

              The two kids leave the living room, each taking a brownie with them. When Bob hears their doors close upstairs, he turns to Wolf. “Wolf, you were way out of line. Don’t ever, ever tempt our children to agree with you, again. Don’t ever offer our children something without discussing it with us in advance. Unless you agree to stop this right now, my family is leaving the program. You’re trying to sway my son’s thoughts and actions by indirectly promising him sex when he visits the LSA, do you plan on offering him recreational drugs to go with the sex? You know damn well you can’t make an offer like that to a teenage boy. What in the world were you thinking? Is converting people to your progressive way of thinking so important to you that you bribe people to convert? That’s not going to work here. You progressives treat your progressive theories as if they are a religion. To you, government is a holy church. We don’t believe anything can replace God. We honor God and our religion. We refused to remove the cross on our wall so it wouldn’t offend your viewers. We are offended by your actions and words in our home.”

              “Bob, don’t you think Leon is old enough to decide for himself?”

              “No, I don’t and as long as he lives under our roof he’ll abide by our rules. You need to decide right now how you’re going to continue this interview, and once you inform us how you’re going to continue, we’ll decide if we’re going to continue.”

              Sean suggests, “Everyone, I think this is a good time to take a short break. I’m sure our viewers would appreciate the ability to take a short nature break. I know I could use a chance to use the restroom.”

              Everyone agrees to take a break. Wolf opens his smart phone calling the Gray House. Sean opens his, placing a call to the President of Wolf News.

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“WOW. Kathy did you see what Wolf just tried to do? He was bribing Leon with sex right on the air.”

“I saw it. I’m glad it wasn’t our kids he pulled that crap with.”

“If he did, I think I’d punch him in the face, right on air. I wouldn’t care. That was cold hearted and pure bullshit. He did everything but show Leon naked pictures to choose from.”

“It seems the LSA hasn’t changed much; they bribe and buy everyone. The rules and laws only mean something if they advance their point of view. They think they're above the rule of law.”

“These people would sell their own mothers.”

“If they had one to sell.”

Both Brad and Kathy laugh. Kathy looks at the television display asking, “If it was our family, would you continue taking part in the program? Wolf just tried to bribe their son.”

“Honey, I don’t know. Can Wolf be trusted? Can the LSA be trusted not to try something else in order to sway the Joneses and the rest of us to see them in a better light?”

“Brad, I don’t trust them. I’m happy we never applied, I would have lost my temper already. I would have taken Wolf’s head off and kicked him out of our house. If Bob and Carol do drop out, what happens to the program? If they withdraw, will Wolf and CNN select another family or will the program end tonight? If it ends now, the LSA is going to look really bad for causing the series to come to an end.”

“I really don’t know what they’re going to do.”

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The viewing public is very nervous with the potential of the series coming to a close so abruptly. The majority of people are backing the actions Bob and Carol have taken. Posts and tweets are running 70 to 1 against Wolf and the LSA. Most of the comments say Wolf tried to bribe a teenager and that went too far. President Bloomberg calls Wolf telling him, “Wolf, cool it. You went too far. What the hell happened?”

“I thought I could just slide the offer under the door and it would all happen so quick no one would realize what I offered him. I figured once we had him in the LSA we could use him for propaganda. He’s known worldwide. He would make a great case for us. I thought it was a good risk.”

“It might have been a good risk IF you’d gotten away with it.”

“I almost got away with it; Bob caught on too quickly.”

“Well, cool it. If the Jones family withdraws, we’re going to have a major PR issue on our hands. I agreed to allow the program to go forward based on us using it as a PR victory. If the Jones family withdraws, we’re the one’s going to catch hell for it. I don’t care how you do it, make sure they don’t withdraw. The LSA can’t afford to be seen as bribing a teenager and bringing the cause for the premature failure of the world’s highest rated program. Wolf News will sue us for breaching our agreement on not using the program for propaganda. This could cost us billions of dollars, not counting the amount of ill will. Wolf, fix this and fix this right now,”

“Mr. President, I’ll see what I can do. If I can get Leon to accompany me to LA is that still approved?”

“Wolf, first fix the current problem. Get the Jones family back in front of the camera. Make sure they agree to stay with the program. If you fail, you will be first among equals in the Northwest Territories counting trees and snowflakes for the rest of your short life.”

“I understand.”

President Bloomberg doesn’t wait for Wolf to answer, he’s already hung up cursing Wolf. President Bloomberg asks his Chief of Staff, “If we have to replace Wolf can we do it quickly?”

“Mr. President, we can announce Wolf got very sick, we have a security agent assigned to Wolf’s team, we have him inject Wolf in his sleep, giving him some sort of flu - something nasty enough to cause him to be sent back here to the hospital. I’ll get you a list of potential replacements.”

“Excellent, if Wolf can’t turn this around very quickly, we’ll move ahead with your plan.”

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              Carol asks Bob, “That was horrible what Wolf tried to do. He attempted to bribe Leon with sex; my God, any teenage boy would have jumped at that offer.”

              “I know, I’m really upset with Wolf. I’m not sure we should continue in the program.”

              “Bob, do you remember what the contract said about our ability to resign from the program?”

              “No, but I’m going to pull it up on my phone right now.”

              Reviewing the text on his phone, Bob turns to Carol. “We can resign, however unless we have cause; we’re liable for the two stations loses from their lost advertising revenue.”

              “Oh my God, that could be in the hundreds of millions of dollars. How did we miss this clause?”

              “Honey, there are 512 pages in the contract. There’s so much legal mumbo jumbo; no one could read and understand it. I thought we’d never resign.”

              “So we’re stuck in the contract?”

              “Yes, but we can still play at we’re thinking of resigning and suing the LSA, that ought to shake Wolf and President Bloomberg up enough to negotiate with us.”

              “OK, you play the bad guy, I’ll play the role of the good and concerned mother. Want to see Wolf alone or with Sean?”

              “I suggest we meet with both of them at the same time, Sean should take our side putting additional pressure on Wolf and Bloomberg.”

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              The chairmen of Wolf News and CNN hold an urgent call with each other to discuss their next steps. Randolph leads off the call, “John,; Wolf stepped on his own dick this time. I’m furious with him, and you are not giving him strong enough directions. I thought we’d covered this in our last call. If the Joneses resign from the program, we may lose the entire program. We will lose hundreds of millions in revenue. I won’t just sit here if your anchor causes us to lose our advertisers and ratings. Wolf News will hold you responsible for any actual and potential losses.”

              “Randolph, you can’t get away with suing us for the loss of potential revenue.”

              “John, it’s not potential, we have signed contracts. We’ve based the launch of our new programs launching on the heels of the program. I don’t care what you do, but get Wolf under control and stop him from bribing a teenager on live television. It makes all of you look very small.”

              “Randolph, I understand President Bloomberg has already called Wolf and given him instructions. He’s told me that he has Wolf under control.”

              “John, I hope so for your sake. Either way I guess we’ll know very soon. Sean called to say the Joneses want to meet with him and Wolf.”

              “Randolph, we can always threaten them with a suit for breach of contract.”

              “That won’t go over very well with the viewers. I think no matter what happens we’d better release the Joneses from the cancelation clause.”

              “I agree. However, I don’t think we should tell them yet.”

              “Good point, let’s see how the meeting with Sean and Wolf goes.”

Chapter 12

              “Wolf are you proud of yourself? You bribed a teenager, and the majority of viewers aren’t on your side. You’re harming your own cause. If the Jones family decides to resign from the program, we’ll have to restart with a new family in mid-interview. It’s going to cost us time and resources that neither network counted on. Over two hundred million viewers are going to be upset. Beth stole millions of hearts; if we have to restart with the back-up family it’s going to go bad for both of us. I suggest you find Bob and Carol, get on your knees and beg for forgiveness.”

              “Do you think it’s going to be that bad?”

              “If we have to use the back-up family, it’s going to be much worse. We could both lose our jobs. If I lose my network program because of your meddling, I’m going to find a way to make sure your program goes off the air too.”

              “I’ll have a chat with Bob and Carol.”

              “If I were you, I’d suggest you find a way to kiss their booty until they agree to stay on the program.”

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              Wolf knocks on the master bedroom door, “Bob, Carol, are you there? May I come in?”

              Bob responds, “Wolf, the door is unlocked, come in.”

              “Hi, I came to apologize to both of you. I was totally out of line.”

              Carol looks disgustedly at Wolf, who’s worried they’ve already made up their minds to leave the program, “Wolf, you tried to bribe a teenage boy with sex, live on the air. Don’t you see you were wrong? You were so far off base I can’t tell you!”