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Authors: Ira Tabankin

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BOOK: The Smiths and Joneses
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              The LVMPD arrives, and they have trouble separating the two groups. As soon as they pull people away from each other, they rush back together continuing the fight. LVMPD fires tear gas into the crowd, which also enters the hotel. The casino is just inside the front door; tear gas spreads into the casino causing the gamblers to rush out into the groups of protesters and the LVMPD, who decide to detain everyone and separate them at the station. LVMPD’s first rule is to keep order at the casinos that fund the city. After getting most of the people loaded into buses, they find five bodies on the street. Three of them are pro-LSA protesters, two are pro-USA protesters. Pictures of the fight are carried on the news in both countries. President Bloomberg demands an apology from President Paul, who refuses since this wasn’t a state-sponsored demonstration.

              President Bloomberg gives interviews on international television to say he doesn’t think citizens of the LSA are safe in the USA. He asks all of his citizens who are vacationing in the USA to return home quickly and safely. Bloomberg says the USA has too many firearms with few laws controlling their carry or purchase.  Bloomberg announces the LSA is withdrawing from the “Meet the Joneses and Smiths” program. The world is shocked with his announcement.  People read Bloomberg’s announcement on their various connected devices; people stop in mid-stride staring at their displays and messages. Social media freezes from the large number of posts. FB goes offline for 45 minutes. People are shocked when FB goes down. Some don’t know how to act and interface with the real world. People dial 911 saying their emergency is FB is down. The LSA, having their own intranet which connects through government censors to the internet, isn’t effected as much as the other countries because people in the LSA have learned not to search for certain bits of information. In the LSA, running certain searches results in the DepLIES paying a friendly visit, and the citizen usually carried away, not to be seen again.

              Protest marches and rallies against President Bloomberg’s decision to withdraw from the program breakout in every major city in the USA. Wolf News Network and CNN both file lawsuits against the LSA for half a billion dollars each for breach of contract and lost revenue. They ask the courts in both the USA and LSA for a temporary restraining order blocking President Bloomberg from withdrawing from the program. In a rare move, the two courts agree to issue a single ruling so one ruling can’t be used against the other court. Recognizing the potential impact of the withdrawal and the lack of any solid grounds for the withdrawal, the two courts rule in favor of Wolf and CNN. President Bloomberg is both surprised and angry over the ruling. He’s not used to rulings going against him. His PR advisor tells him to accept the ruling and quickly make an announcement that he accepts the court’s ruling allowing the program to be broadcast as planned that evening. President Bloomberg isn’t pleased with the advice, but, accepts it. He refuses to make the announcement himself, ordering his press advisor to make the announcement on behalf of the LSA. The announcement is met with cheers on both sides of the divide and sighs of relief from Sean and Wolf.

 

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              Sean, Wolf and their production crew fly from Raleigh, North Carolina, to Portland, Oregon, to broadcast the fourth episode of the program. The production crew is sitting is coach while Sean and Wolf are the only two sitting in first class. The entire crew is happy with the court’s quick ruling which enables them to continue the broadcast and more importantly, continue getting paid. Sean sips his beer saying, “I’m going to have permanent jet lag when the program is finished, every day flying between the coasts.”

              Wolf responds, “At least we don’t have to fly commercial, whoever thought about chartering a plane for us deserves a bonus.”

              The flight attendant adds, “With so many flights cancelled for lack of passengers during your broadcast, the airlines were happy to lease your networks a plane and crews.”

              Sean nods, “It sure beats fighting the normal security in the airport. Does the flight crew hang around waiting on us?”

              The flight attendant replies, “Yes, we stay at a motel right at the airport. The pilots will check the plane, the ground crew will clean, refuel and restock the plane with meals. When you call, the pilot or his backup files the flight plan enabling us to leave as soon as you arrive.”

              Wolf says, “Good to know you’ve got this down to an art form.”

              “We’re a special flight crew. We’re used to flying VIPs around. We’re used to calls all hours of the day or night telling us to get ready to fly.”

The flight attendant leaves Wolf and Sean to chat while she helps the coach flight attendants feed the crew.

Sean looks at Wolf, “Wolf, try to cool it with injecting politics into everything. You’re pushing too hard. We can’t afford to lose the ratings we’ve built.”

              “I’ll remember; the same goes for you with the Smiths.”

              “I’m nowhere as bad as you are.”

              “Whatever. What’s the line of questions you suggest we go with tonight?”

              Wolf says, “I thought we can explore their entertainment and neighborhood, maybe discuss shopping. We haven’t touched on their shopping experiences yet.”

              “OK, with me, let’s see where it leads.”

              Wolf buzzes the pilot, “What time are we going to land?”

              “Sir, we should be landing at 1:00 PM local time. I’ve called ahead for the cars to be ready to take you to Beaverton.”

              “Thanks, I think we’ll leave for the east right after tonight’s episode. We’ll take the cars right back here. Will you be ready to go?”

              “Yes, just give me a call when you’re 30 minutes away.”

              The broadcast plane lands at Portland International Airport. Ground control directs them to the VIP FBO hanger where their transportation is waiting. The crew had wanted to leave some of their broadcast equipment at each home. However, each family suggested it wasn’t a good idea. So the broadcast crew carried everything with them.

 

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              The broadcast crew is a block away from the Smith’s home when they drive up to a roadblock manned by heavily armed agents from the LSA Department of Public Safety. An agent walks to the driver’s door of the leading broadcast vehicle.

              “Good evening gentlemen, I’m sorry for the roadblock. We’ll move the barrier giving you access. Please be sure to let us know if you require anything.”

              Sean asks, “Officer, is there an issue?”

              “We’ve had a number of marches close to, and one gathering of fifty people across the street, from the Smith home. We’ve closed the surrounding streets to ensure you’re not interrupted or threatened in any way.”

              “Officer, do you know why they’re protesting?”

              “Something to do with your program. We don’t care what their message is, we only care that the viewers don’t see a mass of people across the street yelling and holding protest signs.”

              Wolf asks, “Officer when did these protests begin?”

              “During yesterday’s program.”

              Both Sean and Wolf look at each other trying to figure out what was said last night that would cause a protest march. Sean says, “Officer, to be honest with you, we have no idea what could have been said last night that could have caused the protest.”

              “Sir, we don’t know either, it started with a couple of people and kept growing. We’ve closed the streets surrounding the Smith’s home for your safety.”

              Sean says, “Thank you officer.” The officer walks back to the barricade saying, “It’s the broadcast crew, let them in.”

              Wolf asks Sean, “Seriously, do you have any idea what was said that could have caused a protest?”

              Sean replies, “No. I don’t know if they’re protesting us, or the Smith’s or what demands they have. I wish a couple could have been left behind so we could have interviewed them.”

              “Sean, this isn’t the LSA. We don’t allow protestors to be interviewed.”

              “Yeah, I know, everyone is happy in the LSA, there are no protests because no one has ever seen one. I remember the briefings I received.”

              “Sean, seriously, we really don’t have protesters.”

              “Wolf, stop bullshitting me. We both know you have your share. Even if your citizens don’t have freedom of speech, we both know they still form protest marches. It’s almost a game for the DepLIES and your Department of Public Safety to figure out where your protesters will turn up next. I have to give them credit, turning up across the street from our filming would have been normally included in the program. What I don’t understand is why did they start the day early?”

              “Sean, once we get on site, no one is allowed in or out. Haven’t you ever noticed that during our program there’s no traffic on the street?”

              “Now that you mention it, I remember thinking this had to be the quietest street I’d ever seen. There’s never any cars on it.”

              “That’s because the streets and sidewalks are blocked. If the protestors came when we were here, they couldn’t get close to the Smith’s home.”

              “I guess that’s why they came a day early. Any idea what they’re protesting?”

              “No, really no bullshit, I don’t. I guess we’ll see when we arrive.”

              The caravan of four trucks and five cars turns onto the Smith’s street; when they are half a block away they see Sissy running down the street holding something in her arms. She stands on the curb jumping up and down waving at the caravan. Sean and Wolf pullover to meet her.

              “Sissy what are you doing out here?”

              “Mr. Sean, look! I got a puppy!”

              “Wow, what kind of puppy is it?”

              “Her name is Rebel and she’s only five weeks old. She’s not trained yet. Mom is upset ’cause Rebel has already peed and pooped in the house. She’s so cute isn’t she?”

              “What kind of puppy is she?”

              “Mr. Wolf, she’s a dog! Follow me home, everyone is waiting for you.”

              Sean looks at Wolf, “I think Rebel is a Cocker Spaniel, I couldn’t really tell because Sissy is holding the puppy in a ball. I think we’re in for a treat tonight. We have a wound up seven-year-old who just got a new puppy.”

              “Sean, don’t bite the puppy.”

              “Huh?”

              “I’m busting your chops; you’re right, tonight’s going to be interesting. Did you notice the barriers across the street from her house?”

              “I see the tape and cross-horses, but no protesters. I guess the DepLIES removed them.”

              “When we pull in Jason’s driveway, I’ll step out and ask the officer who’s always patrolling the house.”

              “Wolf, I meant to ask you about the officer, I know there’s one, how many more are hiding someplace on their property?”

              “I honestly don’t know. I’d guess the local SWAT squad is in their truck not very far away.”

              “Then how did protesters reach their street?”

              “They came yesterday, SWAT only arrives two hours before we do. They know our schedule because the pilot calls them with our ETA.”

              “Is everyone watched in the LSA?”

              “Simple answer is yes. Censors review all social media posts, messages and emails. Pictures are reviewed. No state security secrets are allowed to be posted. No images showing the administration in a negative view are allowed.”

              “What happened to freedom of speech? Oh, I remember the LSA doesn’t subscribe to freedom of speech. Do you also monitor people’s religious posts?”

              “Of course, it could be a type of bullying.”  

              “I understand, bullying is as good an excuse as any I’ve heard before. Wolf, is it worth it?”

              “Worth it? We have never had a terrorist incident; we have much less bullying than you do. We have cameras on almost every street; our incidents of street crime is less than yours.”

              “How do you measure it? By percent of the population? By crimes per square mile?”

              “By pure numbers.”

              “Wait a minute, we have more people and more than twice the area you do. You can’t compare raw numbers.”

              “Sure we can. We control the press. We can release any numbers we want to.”

 

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              Jason and Sharon are alerted when the broadcast team is twenty minutes from their home. Sharon checks the living room, kitchen and guest bathroom before she joins Jason in the living room as the doorbell rings. She whispers to Jason, “Just made it. That damn puppy is driving me crazy. We’d better figure out how to house train her quickly.”

BOOK: The Smiths and Joneses
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