The Smiths and Joneses (38 page)

Wolf says, “They could have been tampered with. Food should only be purchased at approved locations from tested and approved sources.”

Sean says, “Wolf, come on; I’m sure you remember Girl Scout cookies, you’ve spent enough time in the USA.”

“Sean, I stand on my statement that the food should only be purchased from approved and tested sources. Plus why are these young girls out by themselves going door to door, they could be harmed or abducted.”

Bob laughs at Wolf, “Look at the sidewalk, one of their mothers is on the sidewalk watching them. No one is going to harm these girls in this neighborhood. Their cookies are made by a large company which is checked, their cookies are safe, now would you like a box?”

“Sean, thank you, but I’ll pass.”

Sean purchased two cases of cookies for the rest of the crew and the Joneses. The two girls thanked Sean before walking off to the next house. Their mother on the sidewalk waved thank you as she kept an eye on the two girls.

Wolf changes the subject, “Bob, Carol have you been following the news about the date rape case in Orlando?”

Carol responds, “Yes, of course, we have. Those poor girls who say they were raped at a college frat party. My heart breaks for them.”

Wolf says, “This couldn’t have happened in the LSA.”

Carol says, “Yes we know, we heard about your crazy new law. What do you call it? ‘Yes means yes’? What the hell were you people thinking of? Two people need to have a formal agreement to have sex, the agreement has to be written or recorded on both person’s personal devices, and intoxication nullifies any agreements. How far into people’s bedrooms does the LSA government stick their noses? You people seem to think the answer to any issue is to create a new law. Once the law is signed, problem solved. Did any of you very study human nature? Do any of you understand how people really act? Laws aren’t the answer. You can’t fix everything with a law.”

Wolf smiles a sly grin responding, “Carol, I disagree. We solved the gun issue. We passed laws that outlawed certain guns, we limited the amount and types of ammunition people could purchase; we finally moved on to the complete lack of civilian owned firearms. We removed hundreds of thousands of guns from our streets making our people much safer.”

Bob looks into Wolf’s eyes saying, “Wolf, since you don’t issue crime stats how does anyone know the truth? You removed all firearms from law-abiding citizens while the criminal element still has their guns. Your law only removed guns from people looking to protect themselves.”

“Bob, what I’ll call regular people have no need for a gun. There’s no need for our people to hunt and harm animals since anyone can just go to a food store and buy the food they need. Honestly, I, and most people, have heard enough about guns. We decided no one needed to own them. Just owning them places people at risk for being shot. By removing guns from our streets, we’ve saved thousands of lives.”

“Wolf, how did you save their lives? Guns don’t kill people all by themselves. Our guns haven’t shot anyone by themselves. The last time I checked our gun safe our guns were in the safe. I don’t think they’ve ever exited the safe by themselves.”

“Bob, you have guns here in your home with two children? That’s very dangerous. I’m not sure it’s safe for us to be here.”

Carol folds her arms across her chest; her face gets dark, “Wolf, then leave. You came in through the front door; you can also leave through it. Our safe is secured by our fingerprints and a password. Our children can’t open it. Our guns don’t sneak out of the safe at night to do harm to people. Guns are a tool, a tool that needs a person to use them. If a car goes out of control and runs people over, killing them, should all cars be banned? The car didn’t drive itself.”

“Carol, I’d like to see your safe to prove to myself that it’s safe before we do anything else.”

Bob laughs saying, “Wolf, I’ll make you a wager. If you can open our safe by yourself or with the help of any of your crew, I’ll destroy all of our weapons. If you can’t then, you donate whatever you’re getting paid for hosting this program to the USA Wounded Warrior program. DO we have a deal? You can’t lose. If you open it, you’ve disarmed one USA family. If you can’t then, you’ve donated to a very worthy cause. What do you say?”

Wolf looks to Sean for some help. Sean smirks at Wolf saying, “Well Wolf; it looks like they got you this time. What do you say? Are you willing to put your money up?”

Wolf’s face darkens, his body language makes it clear he’s upset, “I don’t need to take your dare. The question isn’t how secure your safe is. The issue is you have two young children and have guns in your house. I think we need to discuss this issue.”

Leon asks, “Mr. Wolf, why? I learned how to shoot. I took classes; I have my own rifle in my parent’s safe. If you know gun safety there’s not issue. Do guns scare you so much? Is it something like being afraid of heights or spiders?”

Bob and Carol laugh at Leon’s remarks. Bob asks, “Well Wolf, are you scared of the guns? Should I take one out and see if you can touch it without getting sick?”

“This is a silly children’s game of ‘dare you.’ I’m not going to play a children’s game with you on television. I’m saying that families with children shouldn’t own guns; it’s not safe to have guns and children under one roof. We in the LSA have proven there is a solution to the problem.”

Carol responds, “Wolf, you haven’t proven anything. You didn’t remove guns from the streets. You left them in the hands of the criminals.”

“Carol, that’s because our Department of Public Safety and our DepLIES make our people safe. We don’t need guns in untrained hands that could harm our children.”

“Wolf, then please release your crime numbers so the world can make an informed decision.”

“Bob, I’m sorry. However, I don’t have those numbers with me. It’s not my job to discuss the numbers, in fact; I’m not sure who collects these numbers in the LSA.”

Carol looks into the camera saying, “Wolf, I’ll repeat, the LSA’s answer to any problem is to pass a new law. Once the law is passed, you forget the issue and move on. You assume that having a law for anything solves the problem. You never seem to follow up and see that will really help correct an issue. You have a couple of young women raped, so you pass a law; you don’t like private gun ownership, so you pass a law, you don’t like drunk drivers, so you pass a law. Has any of these laws reduced the problems? No one knows because you hide the real numbers. You never release any numbers. You’re government lives like an ostrich; you pass a new law and stick your heads in the sand thinking, ‘you don’t see any problem because you’ve already passed a law, so there isn’t a problem.’ You’re worse than children. You never solve the real problems.”

Chapter 22

Watching the television, I laugh so hard I spit up my beer. Kathy looks over at me with an amused look on her face. “Brad, is something wrong?”

“No, I always spit up beer and have beer pour out of my nose, nothing wrong at all. I can’t believe these people. Did you hear about this new sex law the LSA signed? ‘Yes means yes’? My god, I can see it now, a couple has dinner, goes back to her place, starts to get into it, when she ways, ‘I need you to sign a consent agreement, feel free to have your lawyer look it over, only do it quickly because I want you now.”

Kathy starts laughing and rolling around in her chair. She can’t breathe, “Stop it, stop it, I can’t breathe. You’re killing me.”

“I can see new threesomes, guy, gal and lawyer to review consent forms. I wonder if they need a Notary Public to ensure the signatures are real and valid.”

Kathy is waving at me to stop talking; she’s laughing so hard tears are rolling down her cheeks. “Please Brad, stop it, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Honey, I think we need to call our lawyer before we go upstairs tonight, I’m feeling kinds of horny, I think we better put him on retainer and get a fax machine next to the bed.”

Kathy starts throwing pillows at me to make me stop talking. After she calms down she says, “They can’t be serious, can they?”

“I think they are serious, deadly serious. Someone in the LSA government saw a problem, a problem they could pass a law to solve even if the law is totally ridiculous and unworkable.  These people don’t care about the results; they only care about looking good and looking like they’re doing something about the problem. As long as they look like their trying, their people are happy. Nothing constructive ever gets done; the LSA’s problems only deepen, but the people living in the LSA are fine, because they can point to their elected officials trying to improve the situation that is more than they can say about us. In the LSA results don’t matter, it’s the perception that you’re trying to do something that counts. President Bloomberg has high ratings because he’s seen as always trying to do something to improve the lives of the citizens of the LSA.  He’s seen as caring even though next to Obsma he’s the most closed President in history.”

“Honey, how long can they continue to go in this direction? Won’t they have to make progress in some areas to grow?”

“Kath, they did. They brought manufacturing jobs back to the LSA; they put people to work. They can claim they cleaned up the planet. They claim they reduced crime. Without a free press, their people don’t know what truth is and what bullshit is. They have no choice but to believe the story they’re given by the government. There are no other voices saying anything contradictory. No one is allowed to say anything against the ‘great and powerful OZ’, also known as Bloomberg.”

“Brad, he’s not as bad as all that. He has done some good for his people. He did get jobs for most of them.”

“Kath, yes he did, they all work in various positions for the government, they all work for him. He simply expanded the definition of government until he could hire everyone. They have a low number of unemployed because everyone works for the government. As such, who’s going to say anything negative about their boss when the alternative is a one way ticket to the North West Territory to count trees with your family freezing to death? Bloomberg has it better than a king. At least a king has other nobles to worry about. Bloomberg doesn’t have any nobles, he makes and breaks people, so if he thinks you’re not loyal, puff, you’re gone and no one ever heard of you - you and your family never existed. After a few families had disappeared the story made the rounds, it’s kept everyone else in line. The only thing that would make me laugh even harder would be if Bloomberg said he was running a transparent administration, I might have a heart attack laughing so hard.”

Before Kathy and I can continue there is a banner headline rolling across our television, “LSA announces high-speed train service between LA and San Francisco and a second train will operate between Philadelphia and Boston, with stops in New York City. These new trains are expected to operate at speeds up to 400 kph. They magnetically float over the track. The Department of Mass Transit announced today construction will start within 90 days. The LSA Department of labor announced the new construction project will employ over a hundred thousand people for five years.”

I turn to Kathy, “That’s how he keeps his people in line; he hands them new toys and employs them to build their own toys.”

Before Kathy can respond the banner says, “President Bloomberg announced today that in order to pay for the new high speed rail system, the LSA value added tax will be increased by ½ percent. The good news is, the increases is only for five years so no bonds or loans will be required to build this revolutionary new train service.”

“See Kath, he employees them, and then he increases their taxes all so he can say he’s not leaving behind a big bill for their children to have to pay. He uses the debt Obsma left behind with us as an excuse to increase taxes.”

“Brad, why doesn’t he simply tie his currency to gold like we did, all of our prices went down, our dollar’s value went up.”

“Honey, if he did that, he’d be limited to issuing currency based on the gold reserves he has. There’s a nasty rumor floating around that Bloomberg stole or sold off the reserves, if this is true then he has nothing to base his currency on other than the good faith of the LSA that is why many countries don’t accept his dollar. It explains why when the LSA makes international purchases they have to use US dollars. Ours are backed by gold and silver.”

“I bet that burns his ass.”

“Kath, I’m sure of it. By the way, do you know what time it is? We promised to pick up Ron and Bev at the airport.”

“Whoops! Is that today?”

“Yup, they are due back at 2PM.”

“Honey, I think we’d better get over there.”

“I’ll grab the keys, let’s go.”

@@@@@

Sitting next to Sean, Wolf says, “Did you hear the announcement the LSA just made?”

“Of course I did. My phone pinged with the message. Do you really think you can build a high-speed train?”

“Of course we can. The plans have been floating around for over fifteen years. When President Brownie was Governor of California, he promised to build one between LA and San Francisco.”

“Wolf, if I remember right, he couldn’t fund the program, even with the federal government paying more than half of it he couldn’t raise the balance of the money, why does Bloomberg think he can do it now?”

“Because he can just print the money.”

“Won’t that cause your currency to lose value, force inflation on your people?”

“Sean, that’s the beauty of the President’s announcement, he’s not going to borrow any money to build a high-speed rail. He’s going to increase our value added tax, but only for five years so the people can see what they’re getting for their increased taxes. Sean, remember our Value Added Tax only affects the wealthiest. The poor don’t purchase many goods and services, plus the central government gives them a tax credit for the amount of the value added tax they spent.”

“So you’re going to hose the rich to pay for a train system no one will use, I bet that’s going to go over well with your rich.”

“Remember, we don’t really have a rich class, we’re mostly a single class. We broke the mold and moved the lower class up and moved many of the very upper class down. Today we’re blessed with one large middle class. In fact, it’s by far much larger than your middle class.”

“Wolf, you’re middle class is a sham, just like most of the things in the LSA. You raised the taxes so much on your upper class you pushed them down into the middle; you increased low-end wages for the lower class so that they moved up, however, so did all of the prices of everything. Hence, nothing really changed. I’ll bet you anything you want this new rail line of yours never sees service. Not in five years, not in ten or even twenty years. The short-term increase in the value added tax will keep increasing.  Government programs like this never really finish. I think the so-called ‘Big Dig’ in Boston went nine years past the projected completion date; it ended up costing more than $12 billion over budget. I can’t think of a single government infrastructure project that was completed on time or on budget. They’re all money pits designed to pour money into friends’ pockets and keep union members employed. Want to take my bet?”

“Sean, of course not. I don’t want to take anything from you. You know things are different now don’t you?”

“Wolf don’t bullshit a bullshitter, the only way things are different now are that they are worse. I stand by my bet. I say that the new high-speed train won't be operating ten years from any. I’ll put up my new Mercedes. You do remember what a Mercedes is don’t you?”

“Of course I remember. I just don’t want to take your new one from you. Your wife would be really upset.”

“No, she won’t, she’ll just go buy another. That’s one nice thing about living in the USA; we have low taxes. I get to keep most of the money I earn.”

“That’s because you have no social conscious. If you did, you’d pay more in taxes.”

“Why do I want to pay more in taxes?”

“So the needy and less fortunate then you can have something. I understand, I need to pay for the lazy to stay home and leech off of the system.”

“Sean, you know better than that.”

“Still are you taking me up on my bet?”

“And if I lose, what do you get?”

“I want you to go on international television and admit you were wrong.”

“What?”

@@@@@

              Ron and Beverly land at Dulles International Airport on time, they exit the security area to find Brad and Kathy waiting for them by the luggage carousel. The four of us hug each other. “Ron, Bev, how’s Vegas? Has it changed much?”

Ron says, “Brad, its changed and it hasn’t. I know that doesn’t make much sense to you. In many ways, Vegas is and always will be unique. It’s different in that the LSA has their claws embedded into the city. We had an interesting time. In fact, we’ve decided we’re going to sell our house here and move there.”

Ron’s statement catches me completely by surprise. He looks at me laughing with my mouth hanging open. Ron says, “Brad, close your mouth. You look crazy.”

“Did you just say you’re selling your home and moving to ‘Sin City’”?

“Yes, that’s what I said. Look old buddy, I can’t sit around and do nothing.  Retirement isn’t something I look forward to. I reached the mandatory age, so I was forced out of the Sterling police department. I ran into some people in Vegas, who want me to work for them. They’ve offered me a job. Something I know how to do.”

“Ron, all you know how to do is be a police officer, you’re too old to play that game now.”

“Want to bet? You’re right in that I’m a police officer; even my blood is blue. I was offered a position on a special force which works with both the LSA and USA.”

“Huh? Are you going to work with the LSA DepLIES? Please tell me, you’re not going to work with them.”

“You’ll see later. Come on and let’s get home so Bev and I can unpack so we can begin to pack.”

“When do you plan on moving?”

“Soon Brad, very soon. I don’t want to sit around and grow old in my mind as well as my body.”

“Man, we’re going to miss you and Bev.”