The Space Between (14 page)

Her steps were tentative. She couldn’t remember a time she’d felt so nervous. Even her wedding day paled in comparison. The sound of hydraulic lifts and drills usually soothed her, but today they only reminded her that Nate was in there somewhere and he wasn’t hers. The oldies station his dad loved was playing over the noises of the shop. Georgia walked into the bay, her hands clenched in front of her.
 

Nope, no sign of him. Maybe she could come back another time. That sounded like a fantastic idea…but then, he slid out from under a black Corvette.

“Can I help ya, ma’am?” He stood and wiped his hands on a black towel he’d pulled from his back pocket. Tight t-shirt, tighter jeans, and a dark smudge on his jaw. His sandy blond hair sticking up in different directions. Were his eyes always this blue? Yes, she remembered when she first noticed them at the party, the night that they conceived their daughter. The night that now never happened.

Her knees buckled.
 

“Georgie Porgie, is that you?” The sound of his soft twang was like a symphony. He was so familiar. She knew every inch of his body and he knew hers. He just didn’t know it.

“Hey, Nate.”

He hugged her. She missed his arms around her so bad she had to bite her lip to keep the sigh bubbling in her throat. He smelled like he always had. Soap and mild cologne, with just a hint of motor oil. He called it Eau de Grease Monkey. That always made her laugh.
 

“Wow, you’re as gorgeous as ever. You home from school?”

“Yes, I needed to see some familiar faces.”

“I’ll bet you missed your momma’s home cooking too.” He rubbed his belly with exaggerated circles.

She laughed. “That too. Dorm food sucks.”

“Well, good to see you. You need your car worked on?”

“No, it’s fine. I came to see you actually.”

“Me?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. We were friends in high school.”

“Yeah, I guess. You were kind of in another league though.”

“Whatever, Nate. All the girls had their eye on you.”

“Well, all but one pair,” he teased. Did he have a crush on her in high school? He never told her that. That might explain why he’d approached her at that party—which now never happened.
 

What a mess.

“I obviously had a narrow minded view on what was attractive.”

“Have you seen your folks?”

“Yes.” She hadn’t.

“Have you eaten?”

“No.” She’d had a Snickers and a bag of chips on the way. She ate junk when she got nervous.

“I was just about to grab a bite, you wanna join me? We could catch up.”

She wasn’t sure if the smile on her face said, “yes, please,” or psychotic clown. She toned it down a notch just in case.

“That’d be great, Nate.”

“The diner okay?”

“That sounds perfect.”
 
I love you!

“Just let me wash up. I’m a mess.” He disappeared into the office. She wanted to tell him to leave the smudge on his cheek. Hell, at this point she would have licked the grease off his fingers.
 

The diner happened to be just a block away, so they walked and talked. Georgia had to put her hands behind her back to keep from grabbing his. Was he always this funny?

Yes, yes he was.

Was he always so sexy?

Yes, yes he was.

She wanted to grab his arm. Ruffle his hair. Check every one of his molars with her tongue…Good lord, she was going to lose it. He was like a cold drink of water after being marooned on a desert island. And she was thirsty, very thirsty.

The ding from the bell above the door was familiar. She’d practically grown up in this place. The worn floors. The yellow formica counter tops covered in fresh baked desserts and ketchup bottles. Dave in front of the griddle, the white paper hat leaning precariously to the side. Nate waved at almost every table and pecked Dolores James on the cheek, who’d worked there longer than they’d been alive. He slid into a booth in the back corner. Georgia started to slide in beside him. She caught herself when half of her butt was behind the table. Nate raised an eyebrow.

“Just kidding.” She forced a laughed and quickly slid into the other side. She picked up the long plastic menu, covering her face as she made faces and mouthed curses to herself.
 

What was she doing? She knew this was a long shot, but if she could get him to fall for her everything would be okay. They would get married and have babies right away. She had one semester of school left. Medical school would have to wait, or not. At this point she didn’t care about anything but getting her family back. If she was never going back to her reality she would make this one a replica.
 

Long shot might be an understatement, but common sense and desperation never knew each other, and never would.

“What looks good?” Nate asked. He always said that when they went out to eat. It made her feel safe and sad at the same time.

“Hmmm, maybe the soup. It’s Thursday, so it’ll be creamy tomato.” She wasn’t really hungry, but she’d eat, if it kept him talking, kept him near her. She’d shove every thing they had on the menu down her throat if she had to. Now all she had to do was turn on the charm, which she knew was there somewhere, deep, deep inside.
 

Brady had been a forgone conclusion back in the day, they just made sense. All of the same classes and shared route home from school. And Nate, well, how they got together had nothing to do with her charm. Nope, that was all alcohol and irresponsibility.
 

Did she say long shot? She meant a popsicle’s chance in hell.

No, she could do this. She was an overachiever, damn it. She just had to apply that focus towards seducing her husband and making him fall in love with her again, or for the first time. Fuck, this was a hot mess.

“That sounds good. But I’m kind of in the mood for…”

“Pot roast,” Georgia answered for him.

He gave her a look. “That’s right. How did you know that?”

She kicked herself mentally. “Oh, just a guess. Their pot roast is really good.” He nodded like he kind of believed her, or thought she could be a complete stalker.

Charm him, you idiot, don’t make him put a restraining order on you.

She jammed her nails into her palm.
 

“So, you still friends with Lucy?” he asked, handing the menus to their server.

“Oh yeah, not much could bust us up.”
 

He laughed. “Yep, you two were always together. Almost as much as you and Brady.”

“Oh, well, things change.”

He took a sip of his iced tea, then cocked his head. “You and Brady not together?”

She shook her head.
 

She hadn’t officially given him the boot, but her leg was cocked back and ready to serve up some ass-curb action. She’d been avoiding him like the plague the past few weeks, and with his busy schedule he hadn’t seemed to mind. But she was going to have to deal with it when she got back. She only had room for one man, and that man was Nate. She just had to get him.

“Hm. That shocks me. I thought you guys would end up together.”

“Things change. People change. We just grew apart, ya know?”

A huge smile took over his face and her breath caught in her lungs. He was happy about Brady, he did have feelings for her. This was going to work. This crazy have-cocked plan was going to work!

“Baby,” Nate said, and Georgia thought she might cry at the sound of the endearment. Nate raised his hand in the air. He was signaling someone at the door. Georgia looked over her shoulder. It was an attractive girl and she was coming to their table. Attractive if you liked petite blonde, girl next door types, which she did not.

“Hey! I went by the shop and your daddy said you were here.” Her voice was syrupy sweet, with a very thick Texas accent. Georgia might have considered it cute, if she wasn’t gagging. And she was pretty sure she was giving her a die bitch glare.
 

When the
 
girl slid in next to Nate and kissed him passionately, Georgia was glad there weren’t any sharp knives on the table because she was pretty sure the blonde would have been cut.

Her jaw clenched. She rolled her eyes and turned her head, trying to swallow the bile that rose from her throat. Nate seemed to remember there was someone else at the table, and that they were in a public place, because he pulled back and cleared his throat.

God, could her boobs get any bigger?
 

“Sorry ‘bout that, Georgie.” At least he managed to look embarrassed. “This is Elle.”

“Hi, you can call me Ellie, everybody does…I remember you, Georgia. I was a grade under you guys.”
I know who you are, you home wrecking trollop.
“You dated Brady, right? I think every girl in my grade had a crush on him.”
 

Ellie, which was the stupidest name she’d ever heard, grabbed Nate’s arm and smiled at him like he was her world. “But I always had a thing for blondes that were good with their hands.” The innuendo was revolting. Georgia had never felt like this before, she was practically choking on jealousy. She’d never been prone to violence, but at that moment she wanted to give Ellie a beat down so bad, she could almost taste the blood.

Nate smiled. “Lucky for me.”
 

Okay, she was ready to wake up now.
 

But wait, it wasn’t like they were married. People break up all the time.
 
And Georgia was just the person to bust up this little love fest.

“Hopefully the baby will have your curls, Nate.”
 

At that moment it all fell away. The numbness, instantaneous. “Baby?” she managed to say. Her voice thin and breathy.

Nate grinned and nodded. “It was a surprise since we just got hitched a few months ago.” Okay, now she could die, and now she noticed the gold ring on his finger. How had she missed that one?
 

“But it was the best surprise. Who wouldn’t be excited about having a baby? Babies are a blessing,” Ellie said softly. She beamed and put her hands on her stomach.

She had to get out of there.
 

“I’m happy for you guys. Sorry, but I just remembered that I told Lucy I’d stop by. Good to see you, Nate.” Georgia didn’t wait for their reply and she didn’t pay for her soup. She just hit the door and ran. She made it as far as the open field behind the gas station when she threw up—blinded by tears.
 

This was what desolation felt like. Despair. It was a living, breathing thing.
 

She sat on the curb for what seemed like hours, all the memories of their life together shuffling through her mind.
 

“Nate! Nate! Hurry! It won’t stop.”

Nate ran into the nursery, looking scared. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“The poop, it won’t stop coming out! It’s like toothpaste coming out of the tube. Help me! I went to change her diaper and…” She pointed down at the changing table.

Nate laughed. “What the hell am I supposed to do? Get a cork?”

“No, grab a wet wipe or something. I need back up.”
 

Amelia was a good baby, she got on a sleeping schedule after a few months and was a good eater. Georgia had the sore nipples to prove her little lady’s voracious appetite. They were learning as they went, clueless at first, but were slowly getting the hang of things. Their moms had been life savers.

“Holy shit! It’s like the ass end exorcist.”
 

Georgia laughed, “Come on I need wipes, not jokes.”

“Baby, calm down. Just let the poor thing finish her business.” She always minded her daddy, even then. “See, there she’s done.” He kissed Georgia on the cheek, then Amelia’s.

“Wow, that was intimidating. They didn’t have a chapter about that in that What to Expect book.”
 

Nate handed her a few wipes, took the diaper, and started to place it in the bin.

“Maybe I’ll stick this one right in the garbage can outside.”

“Good thinking.”

“Georgie, I don’t think half of what we’re in for can be found in a book. Online maybe…” He grinned. “You’re doin’ just fine.”

“So are you, baby.” She gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
 

“Two kids raising a kid.” Nate said as he left the room.

‘There, all clean,” Georgia sang to the tiny person, her arms and legs kicking into the air.
 

She lifted Amelia into her arms and kissed her head, inhaling that baby smell she loved. In fact, she loved everything about Amelia. She was floored at the intensity of her love, it had been immediate. Her love for Nate had taken time, but not much more. He was easy to love.
 

They took a short stroll around Amelia’s little room, decorated in shades of pale pink and chocolate. She sang “Twinkle Twinkle” and peppered Amelia’s velvet cheeks with kisses as they landed in the soft chair by the crib—their favorite place to take an afternoon nap.

Georgia finally gathered the strength to get in the car. She didn’t go to Lucy’s, she just drove. It was quiet. She couldn’t bring herself to turn on the radio. She was alone with her thoughts as she tried to sift through her feelings.

Guilt.
 

That’s what she felt. She kept replaying Ellie’s announcement in her head, her obvious elation. When she’d first found out she was pregnant she felt it was anything but a blessing, she’d felt trapped. Her circumstances had been different, but the guilt still remained.
 

And Nate. Did she ever look at him that way, with adoration and reverence? She didn’t think so…but she’d loved him, damn it, she did. She’d been a good and faithful wife, but there was always a piece of herself she kept from him. Maybe this was her penance, she deserved this new reality and it was a jail sentence. Funny how at times she thought her life before was just that. And now…now she’d give anything to have it all back.