The True Meaning of Smekday (31 page)

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Authors: Adam Rex

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BOOK: The True Meaning of Smekday
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She trailed off and hugged Pig to her chest. Pig let out a yowl.

“Shhh! Shh shh. No, baby,” Mom whispered. “No noise. Poor Pigbaby, you can never make noise again.”

Getting to bed that night was awkward. I realized Mom had set up the second mattress for me, but that didn’t leave any place for J.Lo. When Mom had heard that someone named JayJay was coming with me, she’d assumed he was an adult who’d given me a ride to Arizona, an adult who would have his own family or friends to stay with. I’d been sharing close quarters with J.Lo for so long, I didn’t think anything of sharing the new mattress with him. But Mom quickly said, “Here, Turtlebear, why don’t you sleep with me,” and J.Lo got it all to himself. She even made kissing noises at Pig, and I think she went to bed disappointed that Pig curled up in J.Lo’s legs anyway.

“He’s okay,” I whispered when it was dark. “Kind of a pain sometimes, but he has a good heart. Or whatever it is they have—”

“He can’t stay,” Mom whispered back. “It’s bad enough we have a cat. We’re putting the whole casino in danger.”

“So…what, are we going to just…We can’t turn him over to the aliens. He’s not a pet.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“But—”

“Tomorrow, Turtlebear.”

But tomorrow came, and Mom left at noon. “Jury duty,” she said. Two families were arguing over who got to live in an ice-cream truck, and Mom was one of the people deciding the outcome.

“Stay here,” she said. “I won’t be long. When I come home I’ll knock the secret knock.”

We’d always had a secret knock. It was “I’m a Little Teapot.”

“Don’t let anyone in,” she added. “And don’t go anywhere.”

“We will not,” said J.Lo. Mom glanced at him quickly, then left.

We stared at each other.

“Your mom is nice,” said J.Lo. “Very tall.”

“She’ll get used to you,” I said. “She just needs some time.”

“We all need this time. Our home is very new.”

I took his point. It was strange, living in the casino. It didn’t have any windows, so the ceiling and walls were full of little holes where people had drilled to let in the sunlight. But that let in bugs, too, so the holes were covered in cloth or wire mesh. All these tiny shafts of sunlight gave only a dim haze to the building. What little electricity the casino got went to keeping the fans running. And it was still hot.

A knock at the door made us both jump. It wasn’t the secret knock.

“Um…yeah?” I answered, waving J.Lo behind the refrigerator.

“It’s Katherine Hoegaarden, honey,” said a voice. “We met last night? Is your mom around?”

I’d met a lot of people the night before. I had no idea who this woman was.

“She had to go help with some ice cream–truck thing,” I said, giving Pig to J.Lo to hold. “She’ll be back later.”

“Well, I’m bringing her some books she asked for. Then I thought I could show you two around.”

“Uhhh, yeah? Except she said not to let anyone in. Or go anywhere. While she’s gone.”

“She won’t mind me, hon. Your mom and I are good friends.”

I could feel her pushing gently on the door.

J.Lo whispered, “What do we do?”

“Umm…we can run Pig out to Slushious real quick. And we can cover Slushious with a bedsheet so no one can see in.”

“Oh, this is your answers for everything,” said J.Lo. “Throw a sheet over it.”

Pig meowed suddenly. We froze.

“Honey?” said Mrs. Hoegaarden. “Was that a cat?”

“Okay,” I said to J.Lo. “Get your costume on and follow me.”

With one swift motion, we slipped through the door and blocked it. I took the books and tossed them inside, startling Pig enough to ensure she wouldn’t go near the door again for at least the rest of the day.

“Oh. Hello, there,” said Mrs. Hoegaarden.

“Hi,” I answered. “We’re ready to go.”

“I thought I heard a cat.”

“No. You heard JayJay. He meows.”

Mrs. Hoegaarden gave J.Lo a look. J.Lo sighed a tiny Boov sigh and meowed quietly.

“Well, I’ll be. He sounds just like a
real
cat.”

He did. So that was lucky.

“Yeah,” I said, “he’s been doing it ever since he heard about the cat massacre. In solidarity with our fallen cat cousins. He’ll probably do it again, any second. Just listen.”

J.Lo turned his ghost face and glared at me a moment. Then he meowed as we followed Katherine Hoegaarden through the casino.

“I’m not surprised your mom is off doing something or other,” said Mrs. Hoegaarden. “She always is.”

“Some men I met talked about her like…she was some kind of local hero,” I said, wondering if that was the right word.

“Oh, my! Well, I suppose. Why not? She’s just been such a big help to everybody, you know. I’ll bet she’s met everyone in the Airport District. That’s where we live, honey, the Airport District.”

“Yeah.”

When we walked outside, the morning sun was like fire in your eyes. We blinked and squinted into it for a few moments before moving on. In the daylight I could see that the pink building was surrounded by small tents and shacks and pickup trucks. It was like a tailgate party that never ended.

“If you need a hand, you go ask Lucy Tucci, that’s what they say. She reminds me of me—that’s how people thought of me back home in Richmond. ‘Just ask Honey Hoegaarden,’ they’d say. People call me Honey, honey. But I imagine your mom’ll slow down now. She’d almost have to—she’s dug ditches, and taken food out to the old folks and shut-ins, and helped set up a clothing swap and sewing circle for the moms, and of course she just seems to be Dan Landry’s favorite. Always taking notes for him and telling him what the people need.”

“She wasn’t so…active back home,” I said.

“Well, I think Mr. Landry’s rubbing off on her a little.”

“Gross.”

“Oh! Ha! My goodness, that’s not what I meant. I just meant she’s taking after him a bit. And she just had to stay busy while the Lost List people looked for you. She’d have gone mad with worry, otherwise. Now, here’s our cloner. You two know how to work one of these things?”

We let Mrs. Hoegaarden explain to us how to work a telecloner, and then she showed us around the showers and bathrooms. Then one of her kids needed her, and she hustled off.

“You two know your way back?” she called over her shoulder.

“We’re fine,” I said. “Thanks!”

“I meow now?” hissed J.Lo when she was gone. “What comes next? Do I juggle fire?”

“Look, I’m sorry, but it’s good this happened. Mrs. Hoegaarden will probably tell people you meow, and we’ll spread the word, too, and soon if anybody hears Pig they’ll just think it’s you.”

“Yes!” droned J.Lo, throwing his hands up. “A foolsproof plan! Thank Mother Ocean that you do not use your genius for evil.”

“All right, I get it.”

“I wants to go to the pink box home and work onto the teleclone receiver. I have ideas.”

“Okay,” I said. “Maybe I should try to meet more people. We still don’t know who we’re gonna tell about it. We can’t trust anyone.”

“Can’t trust anyone?” said a voice. “That’s an awfully grim thing to say for such a young girl.”

It could have been a superhero’s voice. Then J.Lo and I turned around to see my mom standing next to Clark Kent.

She was smiling kind of wider than usual. “Turtlebear,” she said. “Uh, JayJay, this is Daniel Landry. He’s the governor of the Airport District.”

“Oh, right. Hi,” I said, and shook his hand. J.Lo meowed.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Landry said, and his eyes flicked around at passersby, the way people do when they’re looking to see who’s looking at them.

“We were meeting with some new settlers down by the airport,” Mom said as she swept her hair back behind her ear with her fingers. “Mexican families. Daniel—Mr. Landry—needed me to translate.”

“You don’t speak Spanish,” I said.

“I get by,” she said. “Kind of. It’s a lot like Italian.”

“Between your bad Spanish and my bad English,” said Landry, “we’re a perfect pair!”

They both laughed, Mom a little too loudly, and she smoothed her hair back again, though none of it had become mussed. I managed a chuckle and a slight shrug at J.Lo when he looked at me.

“So what can I do for the kids of the Airport District?” Landry asked, like he was on TV. “We’re looking to build some sports parks and playgrounds in the area. And there’s the big fireworks show tonight.”

“Actually,” I said, glad to be asked, “I was wondering what people were doing to get rid of the Gorg. We can help.”

Mom looked startled, but Landry laughed a big belly laugh.

“Oh, you are too much, Miss Tucci,” he said.

I didn’t like this “Miss Tucci” stuff. “That’s my mom’s name,” I said. “Call me…”

I trailed off, like my brain and my mouth couldn’t get their orders straight.

“Call me Gratuity,” I finished, blinking.

“Well, Gratuity, I hear you’re very brave,” said Landry. Mom smiled and brushed her hair back, and I thought, It’s not gonna get any more behind that ear, Mom.

“I heard you drove out here all by yourself, and got chased by Boov and shot at by Gorg,” Landry went on. “That sounds like enough adventure for one girl for a whole lifetime. Right now I think the best way you can fight the aliens is to stay healthy and study. Read all you can, ’cause we’re going to have the schools open soon.”

I sighed.

“Okay,” I mumbled.
Good plan. The Gorg will be devastated if I learn algebra.

“Besides,” said Landry, “the Boov were the bigger problem, and they’re leaving on Labor Day.”

I felt J.Lo twitch. He’d been right. It was almost over for the Boov, and I still didn’t know if he planned to stay or go. I glanced at him, and in my head I thought, Don’t go. All of a sudden. I didn’t know where it came from.

“Actually,” Landry continued, his voice losing some of its tenor, “they don’t really want us to call it Labor Day. It’s now called Excellent Day. For the time being. I suggested Gorganization Day, but they’re not real big on puns.”

J.Lo was wringing his mittened hands and hopping up and down. I knew he wanted to tell me something but couldn’t.

“We’re all going to gather at the airport, everyone in the district, and the Gorg are going to give an address and I think hand out food. It’ll be fun!” Landry insisted with a big TV smile. “Mark your calendars, September second! Okay, very good. You two stay out of trouble, now!”

Mom still had some work to discuss with Landry, so J.Lo and I headed back to the casino alone.

“This is super bad, right?” I said.

“Yes! This is it. The Boov will leave, and the Gorg will get alls the humans to come together. There are probablies many meeting places alls over Arizona. Then the Gorg will take peoples for slaves and furniture, and kill the rest.”

I shuddered. “Just like that?”

“Just like. Just like for they did to the Voort.”

“Who’re they?”

“A young race, like to the humans. A race that had no made contact with other planets beforeto. They also had a not so Excellent Day, and now they are a peoples no longer.”

We walked along in silence. Inside the Diamond Sun we found our little apartment again, and J.Lo immediately started reassembling the teleclone booth. I set Pig in my lap and stroked her while I thought.

“That’s it,” I said finally. “We have to tell someone about our telecloner, and soon.”

“Tipmom will be told, yes?”

“I…don’t know. I want to, of course, but she seems really into this Dan Landry. And he seems kind of into the Gorg. No. I’m going to go to him first. If I can convince him that the Gorg are bad news, he’ll be a good guy to know. The whole state is talking about him.”

Mom knocked “I’m a Little Teapot” and came inside.

“I thought I said stay here,” she said to me. “Is this how it’s still gonna be? I’m trying a lot harder here, Turtlebear.”

“It couldn’t be helped,” I said. “I swear. This Hoegaarden woman was going to push her way in. She would’ve seen Pig. We have to get a lock. And hinges.”

“Well…I’m going to say something to Mrs. Hoegaarden. She should have talked to me first. But when Mr. Landry and I found you, you were alone.”

“J.Lo was with me,” I said. “He’s a grown-up. He’s thirty-six.”

“And a half,” said J.Lo.

“He does not take care of you. I do. If anything, I take care of him, too—this morning I had to stop him drinking the water out of a car battery.”

“Is good that way. Tangy.”

I elbowed J.Lo.

“It’s just that…” said Mom, “I don’t think you should be outside too much with…him.” She waved her arm at the Boov.

“J.Lo,” he answered.

“Yes. Him. What is that he’s building?”

“It’s a kind of Boov shower. Look, J.Lo will be fine,” I said. “He’s fooled all kinds of people.”

“But now I want to make more littles cards to explain whyfor I wear the ghostsuit and do not talk. To give to peoples. I want you to help me to write it down.”

“Okay.”

Mom watched silently as J.Lo hopped off his chair and looked for a piece of paper. She leaned over and held my arm.

“We just need to be careful,” she said. “We need to be so careful.”

“We will.”

“No. I know. But listen…”

Her breath was warm against my face and smelted like cherry lip balm. I waited for her to speak. Her eyes had a kind of knowing look I hadn’t remembered.

“We cannot get separated again. We can’t. These Takers can take anything they want but you. Anything but you.”

I nodded. And I was suddenly aware of J.Lo, standing rigid beside me. He’d brought pencils and paper.

“Ahem. I will also be careful,” he said. “I am promising, because I do not want Tip to lose Tipmom again, on account I know all about families, and know that LucyTucci made Tip and took care of her and did not just lay her egg and leave it in the streets for others.”

Mom gazed into my face like she was in a trance. I smiled a little.

“And Tip has also in my opinions been very brave, having only eleven years but wanting to findto her Mom so much she had to drive and get shot upon and also beat me up once. Which could not be helped.”

I turned to J.Lo.

“Have you been practicing this?”

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