The Truth About Us (20 page)

She knows now, about Lance. They all do. Tobie wasn’t there, but Tosh was, and he had to have told her. I doubt they keep secrets. I swallow hard, and my heart slams my ribs. I have to stop being afraid to talk about the good things. Corbin is right. I have to let Lance live through me. If I forget my brother, he really will be dead. Gone forever.

I just wish it didn’t hurt this much to fight through the bad memories to get to the good ones.

“Lance and I spent a lot of time in tuxedos and dresses. I hated them, but if I didn’t pick a dress, my mother would pick it for me. The lesser of two evils was to shop for myself.” I shrug and adjust Tobie’s dress. “Lance loved to dress up. He loved the attention.”

I smile, but it’s not a happy one. Tobie turns to me and pulls me into her arms. Her hug is unlike any hug I’ve ever had, which sounds so stupid. I can sense her support as her arms squeeze my body, but I feel drained. Even one thought takes everything I have. One memory leaves me just about empty.

“I’m sorry, Sophia. I can’t imagine.” She pulls away, and I can tell by her face that the conversation is over. She won’t push me. She won’t feed me fake condolences, or tell me things she thinks I want to hear. I’ve never had a friend like her before. A real one.

xxx

Tobie lets me scour her closest filled with more clothes than anyone should ever own, and I find a loose fitting short gold dress straight out of the ‘70’s. It’s light and sparkly, covered in the tiniest gold sequences and showing way more leg than I’m used to. The length combined with my inexperience wearing dresses like this makes it a feat to get out of Corbin’s truck without flashing the neighborhood, but I manage. I wonder where Tobie would have ever worn this, but I chose it because it’s different. It’s not what the old Sophia would wear. The old Sophia thinks dressing up for a town fair is a little ridiculous. Tosh and Tobie seemed really into it, so I’m playing along.

I push through the front door and I hear laughing instantly. Loud voices. Happiness. It presses against the surface of my skin and I so desperately want to let it in. To let it seep through my pores and infect me with a sense of belonging. I move through the living room, wondering if I should have knocked. I mean, I’ve only spent one night here, and I just walked in with no warning. Not that Corbin gave me any warning when he walked into my life and turned it upside down.

The voices get louder as I get to the kitchen and the first person I see is Gaby. Her dark eyes catch mine and the corner of her mouth pulls up into a smile making her freckled nose wrinkle. Parker stands in front of her wearing this little suit jacket and tie that makes my heart melt. They really do take this Bash seriously. Parker’s face lights up when he sees me and pulls from his mother’s grip. He runs to me and grabs my hand.

“Sophia, you’re going to come to the games with Uncle and Mommy and me, right? Mom said you might not want to play games, but I told her you probably would, and that you’d probably be really good at them. My favorite is the bean bag one. You know, the one with cups and–” Parker speaks insanely fast, pulling me into the kitchen.

“Parker!” Gaby frowns at him. “You leave poor Sophia alone. She’ll play games with you if she wants to.”

“It’s okay. Of course, I’ll play the bean game with you,” I say ruffling his hair. He rolls his eyes and giggles.

“The bean
bag
game.” He smacks his face like I’m the dumbest thing that ever lived and I look up to Gaby. My eyes don’t make it all the way to her. Corbin stands in the center of the kitchen in a full light grey suit, white shirt and thin blue tie, hair done, shaved face, everything. His eyes flick to me once before his whole head turns. His eyes scan my entire body in a second, but it feels like forever.

“Well, fuck me.” He says it loud enough that everyone looks at him, then me. I turn my attention back to Parker, who still tries to explain this bean bag game to me, but Corbin’s gaze never leaves me. I can feel him everywhere I go as I’m carted around like Parker’s new toy, my eyes often drifting over to steal my own glance at Corbin. He’s in some heated conversation with Garett and a girl that I think is Tosh’s sister but I can’t hear their words over everyone else. When we catch each other staring he’ll smile, or wink, and my whole being buzzes with the thought of him. Every time I fall deeper and deeper into the depth of our tragedy. Every time I let myself admit it a little more.

I’m in love with Corbin Kasey.

xxx

I finally pry myself away from Parker at Gaby’s insistence that he let me go and now I feel guilty because he’s crying. I promise him I’ll play all the games he wants, and that seems to appease him, even though Gaby assures me that he uses tears to manipulate. Well, it worked. I’m not used to children, and I’m just relieved that he’s smiling again. That we're apparently still friends. I take a deep breath as I pour myself a glass of wine at the counter. Corbin steps up to me, moving my hair aside like a curtain, and leans into me.

“You have no fucking idea how badly I want to devour you right now,” he whispers, so close that I feel his lips on my skin. I shiver through my whole body, gripping the counter for support, but he continues. “I say we ditch this whole party and head to the roof. I want that dress in shreds and those legs wrapped around my neck.”

The thought alone is enough to send a spike of pleasure through me, and I glance around as if people might sense how turned on I am. I clear my throat and turn my head so Corbin, and I are cheek to cheek. “I didn’t bring a change of clothes. No dress shredding.” I try to stay calm, but I know he can feel my heavy breath. Hear the wobble in my words.

He smiles a clean shaven smile, kissing the curve where my neck meets my shoulder and biting my skin. I ache for him so bad that it forces its way out in the form of a small moan. “Fine, Sweet Sophia. The wait will just make you taste that much better.”

He runs his fingertips down my forearm to my palm, then laces his fingers in mine.

“You’re good.” I take a sip of wine to calm myself down.

“The best.” He smiles but only with his mouth. The faint ghosts in his eyes remind me of earlier. Remind me that he’s hiding something. It’s enough to chill the burning desire that eats me from the inside.

For now.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Corbin

The formal part of the Mills Bash has been in effect since I turned twenty-one and could legally attend it. It’s pretty fuckin lame, but there’s something about getting wasted in a suit that appeals to me. Pretending to live a big life, a life other than the one I’ve been given. I try to explain this to Sophia while attempting to keep my eyes on her face rather than letting my sights wander south.

“It’s not that glamorous,” she says to Garett who’s rocking tweed because he’s Garett. He has a fedora on with his goofy glasses and his eyes are squinting at Sophia.

“It is when it’s one day a year. This is my last Bash, Sophia, don’t ruin it for me.” He’s teasing her, and she crosses her arms across her chest.

“Aren’t you going to be a lawyer? You’ll have a whole closet full of suits that cost more than the rent of your apartment in New York.” Sophia sips her wine and Garett scoffs.

“I’m not into that corporate douchebaggery. I want to do something that fucking matters.” Garett seems pretty satisfied with himself but Sophia smiles like she’s already won the argument.

“My dad’s a partner at Loritz, Fendrich, & Ross in New York. Falixico Oil is one of his major clients. I’ll be sure to give him your info when you need money for tuition. You can lick stamps for him or something.” Sophia smirks and Garett looks like he’s been kicked in the balls. I sort of feel like I’ve been kicked, also. A New York lawyer for a father. I never thought she was small town like me, but New York?

“Fuck yeah, Soph. That’ll shut him up for a bit.” Jackson gives her a high-five.

“You’re not serious.” Garett stutters.

“I am. Well, about the first part. I don’t think they hire stamp lickers anymore. The position was dissolved when they started making self-adhesive stamps.”

I can’t help but laugh at this one, throwing my arm around her shoulders. “That’s my girl.”

It just comes out, and all three of them look at me. My girl. What the fuck am I thinking?

But it’s true.

Or at least I want it to be, even though I shouldn’t. My feelings are all very confusing as they twist over each other inside me.

“What time is it?” Sophia asks, and I’m glad the silence has been filled.

“Two.” Jackson replies and Sophia jumps.

“Shit, I’m supposed to be out there. Kayla said–” She starts, but Tobie cuts her off, joining the conversation.

“Kayla can eat a dick. You’ll be there when you get there.” There’s a thick irritation in her voice, and I love her for it. Tobie is good for Sophia. Tobie is good for everyone, really. She’s one of my favorite people. “I’ll take you. Tosh needs to be out there to set up and do sound anyway.”

Sophia follows, but I grab her hand and pull her back to me, sliding my fingers into the soft curls of her hair. Her face is so close that I notice light freckles dotted along her nose that I’ve never seen before.

“While you’re hard at work, remember what I told you,” I say, kissing her softly. I burrow into her hair so I can whisper. “Those legs. My neck. I can’t fucking wait to taste you.”

I let her go and she stumbles back, Tobie pulling her away from me. Her eyes search me, but her cheeks are flush.

I have to tell her. Soon.

Keeping secrets from her is kind of killing my sex drive.

xxx

An hour later everyone is finally leaving my place to head to the lake. The city staff will be in full swing with the tamer part of the day which I usually avoid, but with Parker sitting on my shoulders, it might be fun to try out this bean bag game.

“You tell her?” Gaby asks, raising her arms to lift Parker from his spot.

“I told you. I’ll tell her tomorrow.” I’m instantly irritated. More because I know she’s right.

“I like her. She’s sweet. She’s been through a lot, Corbin. Don’t add to it by lying to her.”

My stomach feels like it’s being wrung out and I shoot a hard stare at my sister.

“I’m not lying to her.” The words are acidic as they come out, burning my tongue.

“Not saying anything is just as bad as lying.” Gaby’s eyebrows raise, but she has no idea how hard those words hit me.

“Gabriella?” I see my father step out his door, and my focus shifts entirely. Gaby’s shoulders tense. Parker spins around to look at Dad. I hate the way he looks at Gaby. Or the way he looks past her. His shirt is stained, and he’s wearing nothing but boxers on the lower half. His face is past reasonable scruff and makes him look a little frightening, especially with those distant eyes. He takes one stumbling step onto the driveway.

“Grandpa!” Parker runs to him, but Dad holds out a hand. Parker reaches out to my dad who gruffly shoves him aside. Parker falters and falls back on the pavement, but he doesn't cry. This isn’t the first time Dad has done this to him, which is why I hate them being in the same room and limit their interaction. I'm between them in two steps and Parker scrambles behind me.

“Parker, come here, honey.” Gaby stretches out her hand. “Dad, what the hell is wrong with you?” Gaby's voice is tight, like she doesn't know what to do. She couldn't stand up to my dad physically. For how angry I am at Mom for leaving, I’m thankful it was me she left behind and not Gaby.

“Mommy, is Grandpa sick again?” I hear Parker, and my stomach flips. What else do you tell a kid when you don’t want him around the man he calls Grandpa?

Dad doesn’t answer her but turns his slitted eyes to me. He sways from side to side signalling he's already really drunk. “Corbin. I need to talk to you.”

“I’m late, Dad. Later.” I'm really afraid that if I'm alone with him, I'll knock him out for pushing Parker, but I won't hit my dad in front of my nephew.

“I said, I need to talk to you. Are you fuckin’ deaf?” Dad’s voice wobbles. I glance at Gaby and Parker. Gaby has tears in her eyes like she does every time she sees him like this. I wish I could tell her to forget him. I wish I could make her feel okay about his involvement in her life.

But I can’t. She insists that Parker should know his family, and I haven’t been able to convince her it’s pointless without telling her the truth about Mom. Dad’s already done the damage to Gaby. I won't let him do it to Parker.

“Take Parker and wait in the truck,” I say to my sister, turning to follow Dad inside.

Within feet of him, I can smell it, but I’m used to it, so it doesn’t bother me at all.

“What do you want?” I lean against the door, refusing to go all the way inside.

“I got a call from your mother about that girl at the bar.” He lifts a beer to his lips and his eyes burn into me. My fists tighten at my sides. “You need to stop fucking my waitresses.”

“Excuse me?” I breathe out. I was not expecting that. Dad stumbles toward me and presses his finger to my forehead.

"You are deaf."