The Women of Duck Commander (21 page)

M
Y
E
ARLY
Y
EARS

My parents moved to West Monroe when I was six months old. They grew up in New Mexico and Texas, so they were leaving all family behind when they made the move. They had no friends and knew no one; they simply moved on faith when my dad accepted a minister
position at a church, the same church we still attend today. Because we did not live close to any family, I saw each set of my grandparents only once or twice a year. Because of this, I never formed a close bond with my grandparents. My dad was an only child, and his parents were not pleased with his decision to move away from them; this made their relationship very strained.

My mom was the oldest of five children, so she grew up in a very busy household. Each was expected to pull his or her weight. When my mom was fifteen years old, her baby sister, Bonny, was born. Five years later, my mom married my dad, and when she was twenty-three she had me. Since my aunt Bonny is only eight years older than I am (the same age difference between Reed and Mia), she became like my older sister.

Going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house in Austin, Texas, meant I could see Aunt Bonny. For a while, we fought like cats and dogs. I was just far enough behind her in age to really bug her. I thought she was the coolest girl I ever knew. She grew to tolerate me over the years, and now we are very close. At the time of this writing she is working for Jase and me, assisting us with business affairs.

Since we traveled to Grandma and Grandpa’s house mostly on holidays, that meant all the other aunts, uncles, and cousins would be there too. Their house was full of people for the entire week. It was so much fun! My mom’s parents remind me so much of Phil and Miss Kay. Their house was always open to anyone who needed a place to stay. They supported missionaries who lived abroad and always helped students who were being trained in seminaries. They believed in God and have always been active in their church. I remember one Sunday—I think I was about twelve years old—when
the entire family was together at their church; we got up onstage and sang the “Hallelujah Chorus”! Not many families can say that.

T
HAT
R
OBERTSON
G
ENEROSITY

When Jase and I started dating, he introduced me to Granny and Pa. Not too long after we married, the flood forced them to move to Phil’s sister’s house about an hour away. Pa was getting feeble and sick and was soon moved to a nursing home. We didn’t get to see them much after that.

Our daughter, Mia, was born with a cleft lip and palate that required multiple surgeries and procedures during the first few months after her birth (I’ll tell her story in greater detail later in the book). On the way to her first surgery, we stopped to see Granny. Granny pulled Jase and me into her bedroom and offered to give us money for Mia’s initial operation. Even though we didn’t have nearly enough to cover our costs, we knew Granny sure didn’t have it either. We hugged her and told her we were fine, that we didn’t need anything. She made us promise that if we did need something, we would ask for her help. Of course we agreed. It was such a selfless act of generosity on her part, and I will never forget it.

Granny also made all of our children homemade afghans when they were born. Mia has had that blanket beside her through every surgical procedure. She’s ten years old and still sleeps with what’s left of it today.

A M
USICAL
F
AMILY

All of my aunts and uncles are musical, and my mom has a degree in music education. I was in Mom’s choruses and special music projects until I graduated high school. I didn’t know how good she was until I went to college and was in the performing choir. I’ve sung in several different groups and choruses throughout my life, but no director has ever compared to my mom. She is a perfectionist when it comes to music. She is never pleased with
good enough
. I have adopted that same mentality when it comes to music, and I work very hard at it.

Reed, Cole, and Mia all have a musical ear and have great singing abilities. Currently, Mia takes piano lessons. While I would have loved for the boys to take lessons when they were younger, our budget did not allow it. However, over the last few years, both Reed and Cole have taught themselves how to play the piano by ear and by watching how-to videos on the Internet. They have also taught themselves to play the guitar, ukulele, cajón drums, harmonica, and any other musical instrument they can get their hands on. We love singing together as a family and have started adding that to our family appearances. Actually, nothing gives me more joy than to stand side by side with my kids and sing praises to our God and Savior.

My mom is a big supporter of my kids’ musical endeavors. She comes to all their performances and recitals and is happy to give advice, if they so desire. Music is and has always been a big part of my life. I’m glad my mom gets to share it with my kids and me.

S
URROUNDED BY
G
ENERATIONS

Unlike me, my kids have grown up with both sets of grandparents living in the same town where they live. What a blessing it has been! Over the years, the grandparents have been a great help to Jase and me. When we go out of town, somebody is at home to see to the kids, take them to school and pick them up, feed them, take them to practices and games, and take care of other things they need.

My dad calls me often and says, “Can I help you with the kids today?” He has an old Model A car he sometimes picks them up from school in. When the boys were little, they would call it the hot rod. Now that they are older, they don’t think it’s so cool. But they had many fun times in that car with my dad with the top down, going to Sonic and ordering ice cream and cheese sticks after school. He never let me eat ice cream in his car when I was a kid! My dad would spoil them rotten if I let him. Funny how grandparents do things for their grandkids that they would never do for their children. I guess Jase and I will experience that one day too.

One tradition my dad has with my kids is that every time they spend the night at my parents’ house, usually on weekends, my dad takes them for doughnuts the next morning. If they keep them on a school night, he still takes them for doughnuts. Since school starts at seven forty-five
A.M.
, this means they are at the doughnut shop before seven in the morning. But they love it! My dad shows my kids how special they are by spending time with them. He did the
same for my brother and me. My parents are right beside Jase and me at every one of my kids’ ball games, track meets, performances, recitals, and birthday parties. They wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, and I am very grateful for their help, support, and unconditional love.

Making the most of generational influence means grasping the good from those who came before you and doing your best to weed out the bad. We all want to pass down the best to our children, and we all hope they forgive and forget what’s not so good. That’s a consistent trait throughout all generations. We want our kids to have it better than we did.

Part Five

SOMETIMES MIRACLES HIDE

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

ROMANS 8:28, NLT

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INTRODUCTION

Jessica

Bruce Carroll sang a song that was popular in the early 1990s, when I was just a preteen. But its message never grows old, and its title is simple: “Sometimes Miracles Hide.” When we’re in the midst of downright difficult circumstances, we can’t always see that God is doing something great in our lives. Sometimes challenges and hard times can be so heartbreaking that all we can do is survive. But then, once we’ve survived, we see that God was working a miracle right in the middle of our hardships.

I have seen Missy and Jase walk this kind of journey since 2003, when their daughter, Mia, was born with special needs. Missy will write more about it in this section of the book, but I just want to say that they have been amazing as they have gone through situations not
many parents have to go through. I remember being with Missy in the ultrasound room when she first wondered if there was something different about her baby. From that day until now, she and Jase have dealt with some unique challenges, but they have met them all with faith and trust in God. Now everyone in our family adores Mia, and we love having her in our lives.

I am also aware that Miss Kay suffered some very hard times with Alan and Jep as teenagers. As Jep’s wife, I cannot even begin to thank his brothers and parents enough for the way they intervened in his life when he was in trouble. Sometimes I still get tears in my eyes when I think about how much Jep’s brothers loved him when they first told Phil and Miss Kay he needed help. Had the brothers not cared enough about Jep to plan a family meeting to confront him—and had Phil and Kay not practiced tough love—I might not have the husband and family I have today. I will always be in awe of how much Jep’s family loved him and grateful for the way they handled that situation.

Both Kay’s situation and Missy’s seemed overwhelming at times. Missy and Jase still face challenges. But both circumstances have proven to our family in up-close, personal ways that God can do miracles when it looks like nothing good can happen. When the world would refer to a situation as “bad,” not only can God work it for good, He can do something miraculous.

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