This Time (5 page)

"
Ever wish you had another one? Maybe a boy?"

Her father shook his head
and said plain and simple, "Nope."

Belle smiled.

Duke went on, a faraway
look in his eye as he remembered. "Your mom was almost forty-one
when ya were born. We felt more than blessed to have ya. Purty
little thing, ya were. Right purty."

"
Maybe I'll have a son to give the ranch to,
hmm?"

Duke playfully popped the
dishtowel at her leg. "Got to get ya married first,
girl."

She grew serious. "I want
to, Daddy. I do. I just haven't found the right man
yet."

"
Spencer seems right sweet on ya."

"
He's a good friend." She peered into her father's face, her
look communicating more than any words she could
express.

"
I see," Duke said with a slight nod of his head. He strode
across the newly tiled kitchen floor and pulled meat from the
freezer.

Belle faced the computer
and started composing an email. "You're not upset are
you?"

Duke chuckled softly. "Why
would I be upset, kitten?"

She turned from the screen
and her emails. "I don't know. I thought you might want some
grandkids by now."

Duke walked over to her
and patted her arm tenderly. "Not if it means settlin' for
something your heart ain't yearnin' for. Ya take your time and
marry the man the Lord has for ya, hear? Ain't no other way to
go."

"
I don't think I could get married unless I knew the Lord
wanted me to," she said, returning her attention to the computer,
attempting to finish the day's work. But images of Burke replayed
in her mind. Over and over she saw him striding smoothly across the
gym floor. Conflicting emotions battled within her. Any hint of
longing, any joy at seeing him again was overshadowed by the
painful questions that plagued the past.

After several frustrating
minutes of trying to forget Burke and focus on her work, Belle gave
up and powered down the computer. Saying goodnight to her father,
she headed to bed.

Friday night Burke entered the
gymnasium with Grace Peterson on his arm, laughing and talking,
greeting his former classmates. Yet, he couldn't keep his eyes from
darting around the crowded room as he searched for Belle, longing
to see her again.

Since their brief encounter
Thursday, he'd not been able to get her out of his mind. He finally
spotted her near the stage, laughing and singing with a small
circle of her former glee club members. Her appearance seized him
for a moment, and he drew in a deep breath. She wore a red and
white, fringed blouse and thick-healed boots. Perfect for square
dancing. Soft overhead lights captured the golden highlights in her
burnished brown hair as she leaned casually against the front of
the stage, her legs crossed and her hands buried in her jeans
pockets. Her confident manner and gregarious aura reminded him of
the Belle he'd loved.

On impulse, he steered
Grace in her direction and causally introduced the two women.
"Belle, I'd like to introduce Grace Peterson."

At the sound of his voice,
Belle stiffened and stood up straight. "Hello," she said, monotone,
shaking Grace's hand mechanically. Burke thought he saw her
confident demeanor dimming.

The others in the circle
starting talking at once, greeting Burke and introducing themselves
to the Hollywood star.

Burke kept one eye on Belle,
aware that her posture remained rigid and uninviting.

Silently, he reprimanded himself
for not considering her feelings and the truth about their
relationship. Until yesterday, they hadn't spoken in over twelve
years. Tonight, he introduced Grace to her as if the mountain of
unspoken words between them did not exist.

All his planning and rehearsing
seemed to fade the moment he saw her. The reunion weekend had
stirred his yearning to be close to her again and be done with the
angst between them. He missed her, and more than ever regretted the
impulsive, selfish action he'd taken so long ago. How could he have
rejected something so precious?

"
Burke's told me a lot about you," he heard Grace's velvet
voice say.

Belle merely nodded,
mumbling something like, "How nice." But the expression in her eyes
revealed her discomfort.

Before the conversation could go
any farther, other classmates joined the small circle, reuniting
with Burke, congratulating him on his pro success and quizzing him
about the upcoming football season. Then, politely, many of them
asked Grace for her autograph, while welcoming her to their class
reunion.

"
Hi, I'm Dana Love," a shrill, eager voice called from
behind Belle. A slender white hand slinked over her shoulder toward
Grace.

Awkwardly, Grace greeted the
audacious woman.

Dana squeezed in front of
Belle, whispering over her shoulder, "Guess Burke found someone
more to his liking." She prattled on with Grace about things she
knew nothing of - like Hollywood and movie making, punctuating her
sentences with an obnoxious cackle.

Burke burned inside when he
overheard Dana's cruel comment. He watched a spark ignite in
Belle's eyes as she turned to walk away. Impulsively, he stepped
around the two women and touched her lightly on the shoulder.

"
Don't listen to her," he said in her ear.

Belle looked askance at
him with narrowed eyes, still lit with the same fire. "I don't need
your reassurance."

He stared at her, searching for
the right thing to say, desperate to chip away at the wall between
them. But there were too many words for the moment.

"
Anything else, or can I go?" she asked after a second,
raising a brow, her tone clipped and caustic.

"
No, that's all I guess," he said, forcing a
smile.

***

Belle turned on her heel and
stepped smack into Gates.

"
You were rude," she said.

"
Don't talk to me about rudeness. Talk to him," she
bristled, jerking her thumb toward Burke. Why did the
responsibility of her relationship with him fall on her? How could
she make right the wrong he'd done?

Gates shook her head and
wagged her finger under Belle's nose. "So help me, Belle, if you
don't deal with him I'm going to hog tie you two together until
it's done with."

"
Why don't you talk to him about that, hum?"

"
He's trying," Gates started.

Belle put up her hands.
"Whatever, Gates. This isn't the time or the place."

Dana's snide comment had
unearthed emotions and thoughts Belle preferred to keep buried.
When the evening began, she ignored the nagging anticipation of
seeing Burke again. Now she felt like an emotional volcano.

Fresh air, she thought. I need
some fresh air.

She caught the glare of the exit
sign out of the corner of her eye. Eagerly, she made her way
through the crowd, head down, envisioning her escape.

But out-of-town classmates
halted her retreat, stepping into her path, attempting to catch up
with the years by asking simplified, generic questions about her
life, the Bar J, and Duke. Then, those who didn't know about her
break up with Burke asked innocently about her relationship with
him, unwittingly turning up the heat under her volatile
emotions.

Weren't you two heading for the
altar? Of all the couples in high school, surely you two were the
most likely to get married. What happened to you two? Do you keep
in touch? Doesn't he look fantastic? What a career he's had, eh,
Belle?

Her head pounded with the
barrage of words, their force invoking images from the past that
swirled around in her mind.

I don't know, I don't know! She
wanted to scream. She dashed through the gym doors and burst into
the cool June air.

"
Overwhelming, isn't it?"

Belle froze at the sound
of Burke's voice, her back toward him. He must have been right
behind her. He heard all the inquiries. "Burke, please-"

"
I wanted to make sure you were all right."

"
All the questions, you here with Grace..."

"
I'm sorry I introduced you to her without talking to you
first."

Belle faced him, hands on
her hips, and asked cynically, "You think that would have made a
difference?"

"
Less awkward maybe."

A wave of boldness mixed
with ire stirred within her. She stepped closer to him and glared
into his face. "Twelve years, Burke. We haven't spoken in twelve
years. You waltz back into town like we'd palled around yesterday,
as if nothing horrible had ever happened between us."

"
How would you want me to behave?"

"
Like you were sorry." She drove the words at him like a
hammer driving nails.

He answered with
conviction. "I am sorry."

"
Oh really?" Her voice trembled. "You have a strange way of
showing it."

He ducked his head, his
blue eyes staring at his snakeskin boots, his demeanor humbled. "I
should have…"

"
You're right, you should have. But you didn't. One call
Burke, that's all I wanted. One call, explaining. But instead, I
got silence. Me, your best friend."

She balled her fist as if she
wanted to punch him, but she stopped. A childish punch would
accomplish nothing. It would not heal her hurt, it would not change
the past, it would not bring back the lost years. Tears burned in
her eyes as she studied the impressive athlete she'd once loved so
desperately.

"
Enjoy the reunion, Burke," she murmured, and walked off
into the night.

***

Saturday morning Belle woke up
feeling weighted, dreading the second day of the reunion. She
regretted her angry exchange with Burke. Was the anger and hurt
still so alive beneath the surface?

She pulled her comforter from
the bed and curled up in it on the seat under the bay window. For a
long time, she stared out, watching as the day dawned, praying.

By the time she came down for
breakfast, Duke and the Bar J hands, Jake Morley and Cole Mitchell,
had completed the morning chores and gone into town for
supplies.

Belle saddled up Trixie and rode
over to the church. Pastor Mike kept the chapel door open all the
time for people to come and pray - anytime, day or night. Over
time, it had become a favorite place for her. She trotted along
atop the appaloosa, guitar in tow, thinking and praying and asking
the Lord for grace to face Burke.

Inside the cool, peaceful
chapel, Belle spent the better part of an hour strumming and
singing Psalms to the Lord. She loved the way music made the
inspired words of King David come alive in her heart and drew her
closer to her true Beloved.

Gratefully, after being in the
presence of the Holy One and meditating on His great love, the
issue of Burke became trivial and petty.

"
Father," Belle prayed, "if You can forgive me for all I've
done, and love me so much to send Your son Jesus to die for me, I
guess I can endure Burke for a weekend and have fun at the same
time."

She smiled at her words, knowing
the God of the Universe delighted in her simple prayer, and
answered. His peace, the peace that guarded her heart and mind,
touched her soul.

"
Today will be a good day," she said as she and Trixie
galloped home, the soft summer breeze on their backs.

***

The class picnic and softball
game that afternoon turned out to be hilarious fun. More than once,
Belle doubled over with laughter as she watched some of her
classmates bungle around on the ball field, their comical bantering
the only successful hit in the game. She couldn't remember the last
time she'd laughed so hard. Once she made up her mind not to let
the past interfere with her present, she relaxed and had fun.

She even watched with amusement
as Burke captured the day with his wit and humor over his clumsy
softball playing. He missed grounders and struck out a couple of
times. Spencer razzed him mercilessly.

Not to be outdone, Burke
razzed him back and made cheesy excuses for his weak play. "The
ball is too round," he claimed, sparking another round of laughter
from the crowd in the stands.

His larger than life personality
wove them together with a sense of camaraderie, melting away the
years.

Belle maintained the peace the
Lord blessed her with that morning. For the first time this
weekend, she didn't have a knot in her stomach at the thought of
seeing Burke.

Once, when he passed by, their
eyes met, and she tried to say she was sorry for last evening's
exchange with a glance and a grin. He obviously caught her meaning
and tipped his head, smiling.

She sighed. Everything's
different when you examine it under the light of Jesus.

Saturday evening the class
gathered at the cozy Cheyenne Inn for a formal dinner. Already
Belle found it hard to image that the next day would take them all
their separate ways.