Throw Away Teen (23 page)

If I’d been with anybody but Gabe, I’d have died on the spot, totally embarrassed. I got mad and cold deep down inside. Before he could stop me, I turned and stomped back into the kitchen.

As I opened my mouth to unload on Carol, Liz said, “I don’t think there’s any danger of that.” She poured two fresh cups of coffee and carried them over to the table. “Rhonda, my best friend, is a gal I served with in Vietnam. We’re still in contact with the rest of the nurses from our Evac hospital. Ted always goes hunting with his Marine buddies. My niece is real close to the gals who served in Iraq with her. After you go through hell, there’s a bond with the people who kept you alive then. And that bond isn’t easily broken.”

“
I don’t think living in foster homes can be compared to a war.” Carol still sounded steamed. She acted like she didn’t even see me standing in the doorway, but I knew Liz did. Liz always saw everything. Was that part of being in a war?

“
Psychologists say growing up in an alcoholic home causes unending emotional trauma,” Liz said, smiling at me. “Surviving on the streets or in a stranger’s home may be similar to living in a combat zone at times.”

If someone was going to win this round, it’d be Liz. She obviously understood what was between Gabe and me. Years and years of hard times. Nobody else might know that kind of abuse deep in their heart or soul, but Gabe had been there. He did know the pain, the same way I did. I took his hand and led him toward the stairs. The dogs followed us.

“
No wonder you like these people so much,” Gabe finally said. “She seems to have it together.”

“
Yeah and Ted acts okay, too.” I opened the door to my studio. I glanced around quickly to make sure I hadn’t left out any drawings that I cared about. I’d been working on sketches of Ringo at school when my teachers got boring. So far, I hadn’t gotten caught.

“
This is cool.” Gabe strolled over to look out the window.

“
I like it,” I said. “Sometimes, I do my homework up here unless my tutor’s coming. Then, we do it at the dining room table.”

Gabe turned and stared at me. “You actually do school work? Why? Do they force you?”

“
It’s one of the rules.” I went over to the file cabinet Liz found for me up in the attic and pulled out the contract. I handed it to him. “Ted says school is my job and he pays for grades. I’m gonna make some major bucks. When I have to book in seven weeks, Guard and I will be okay for a while.”

“
Okay, that sounds like my girl.” Gabe came across and hugged me. “You had me worried. I thought you believed all this ‘Happy Families’ crap.”

“
No way,” I said. “They may say they want me, but they don’t know me.”

“
You got it.” Gabe pulled up a cushion and sat on the floor. “So, tell me what else has been happening.”

Since we were alone, I filled him in on everything I’d done over the past week. He looked even more disgusted by the notion of a tutor so I didn’t talk about the study skills Fiona taught me. He thought the karate classes sounded cool and I showed him a couple of the moves I’d learned. I even told him a little about Ringo, just who he was, not how he made me feel. When I mentioned the riding lesson on Saturday, Gabe stared at me.

“
You rode a horse? For real?”

“
Yeah, for real. Liz’s sister has a stable. It’s just up the road.”

“
What kind of horse?” Gabe asked. “What’s its name?”

“
Windsong. She’s gray.”

“
What shade of gray? There’s like ten different colors of gray, you know. Dark or light? What kind of markings? What breed? Has she had any foals?”

“
I don’t know. She’s kind of a reddish gray.” I stretched my mind back to Saturday. “Yeah, she has a white thing in the middle of her forehead and more white on her nose. Oh and a couple of her legs are sort of white, too. And she almost ate my fingers when I fed her carrots.”

“
Well, keep your fingers away from her mouth. Are you trying to make her sick?”

“
No, but does she have to eat me?”

He ignored that. “Are you going to ride again?”

“
Liz signed me up for lessons on Wednesdays and Saturdays.”

“
Great. Next time take pictures and email them to Carol. She can print them off for me.”

“
I hate having my picture taken. You know that.”

“
Not of you. Of the horses.”

“
I should’ve known.” I went over and kicked his foot. “Come on. I’ll get your coat.”

On our way back to the kitchen, I showed Gabe my room and got his leather jacket. “There’s no door on the closet. Ted took it off on my first day here, and he says he won’t put it on again until I ask. He even put a lock on the bathroom door.”

“
What about the bedroom door?” Gabe asked.

“
I haven’t needed one. Nobody wants to come in here when the dogs all sleep with me.” I showed him the ladder I was supposed to use if the house caught fire, but we both knew it’d come in handy for other reasons. “Believe me if things change, Guard and I are out the window.”

Gabe nodded. “Well, now I can tell Irene you haven’t lost it. You know that you won’t be here for the rest of your life.”

“
I’ve known that from the first day.” I led the way back to the hall, and down the stairs. “When the Driscolls get to know me, they’ll change their minds.”

“
We’re disposable, babe. Americans throw away everything. Garbage, old people, and kids. You and I were thrown away a long time ago. We both know it’s for real.”

Nothing he said was new. I’d heard it all a million times before. But this was the first time Gabe had said it with an audience. Ringo stood in the doorway to Ted’s den. I didn’t say anything, but Gabe must’ve realized we weren’t alone. He turned to face Ringo. “Do you always sneak up on private conversations?”

“
I wasn’t sneaking.” Ringo wasn’t mad or scared, just matter-of-fact. “I wanted to hear the trash you were giving B.J. No wonder she has such an attitude.”

“
I don’t have an attitude.” But I felt my knees turn to mush. He watched me the same way he had the night he kissed me. “Gabe’s right about the system. We’ve both been through it long enough to know the truth about how life really works. And it sucks.”

“
Got that right,” Gabe said.

“
More crap,” Ringo interrupted. “Liz and Ted won’t hurt you, B.J. You’re old enough to tell good people from bad ones. And you’re also smart enough not to buy somebody else’s program. Make your own decisions and don’t let some psychotic tell you what to do.”

“
A psychotic?” Gabe’s voice dropped lower and meaner. He started toward Ringo.

I knew a fight was in the works. It didn’t matter which one came out on top. Either way, I’d lose. Gabe was the brother I never had, the one person who always cared enough to look after me. Ringo was the guy I wanted to date, to paint, to fall in love with, provided he got his act together.

I ran after Gabe, grabbed his arm. “Don’t, Gabe. Don’t fight here.”

“
Don’t worry, B.J.” Ringo shrugged one broad shoulder. “We’ll fight outside if this punk has guts enough to leave the house.”

“
I don’t want you to fight at
all,”
I said.

“
I can take care of myself, babe,” Gabe said, “But if he needs to
hide behind you, that’s okay.”

I didn’t know which one was making me madder. But I knew I didn’t want a fight here. If Ringo and Gabe got into it, I’d never see Gabe again. He wouldn’t be allowed to come back and I’d have to be sent back to the center before
we could even talk. No way would Liz and Ted let me speak to him on the phone.

“
Outside, punk,” Ringo invited again.

“
After you, hillbilly.” Gabe sneered
.

Before I could protest further, Ted came into the
room. “Hello, Gabe. Liz said you were here.” He glanced
at Ringo. “Did B.J. introduce you boys?”

Was Ted crazy? Couldn’t he feel the vibes in this room?
He stepped in between Gabe and Ringo, like he still didn’t
know a fight was brewing, just a crazy old geezer talking to two boys, and I thought he was supposed to be a Marine. “With both you guys, we’ll be able to change the oil and tune up that truck in no time.
”

“
He’s just a punk from the city,” Ringo sounded like one of
the cowboys on TV. “He doesn’t know anything about working on rigs. And he probably couldn’t learn
anyway.”

“
If a hillbilly like you can do it, I can.” Gabe still
had that awful edge to his voice.

“
Two strong volunteers,” Liz marveled from the doorway
to the kitchen. “
This is wonderful,
boys. I worry about Ted doing too much. He’s getting older
even if he won’t admit it. You boys take good care of him.
Gabe grew
up on a farm
so he should do just fine, Ringo
. Don’t worry.” She ushered them out of the room then turned to me. “B.J., Carol wants to talk to you.”

Ringo and Gabe both grumbled but followed Ted outside to work on the pickup. “I’m sorry, Liz. I knew they were going to fight, I just didn’t know how to make them stop.”

Liz reached for me and started to hug me. I almost let
her and then I remembered that Carol was there so I pulled away. Liz just smiled and smoothed my hair. “Next time, call me, honey. I can stop them or Ted can.” She paused
then added, “But I’ll teach you. A pretty girl like
you needs to know how to keep boys from fighting over her.”

CHAPTER 14

I just shook my head and walked into the kitchen where Carol waited at the table. “I want Liz here,” I said. “You already told her all about me anyway.”

“
Only what’s in your file,” Carol said. “That’s the forms filled out by caseworkers, the police, trial records and things like that. She doesn’t know your side of it, B.J. Nobody does.”

“
If you expect me to blab like a baby, forget it.” I pulled out a chair and sat down across from her. “I’m not stupid. You’ll use that crap against me.”

Carol heaved a dramatic sigh. Then, she pulled a deck of cards out of her purse. She shuffled them. “How do you like it here, B.J.?”

I waited till she handed me the cards. I picked up the top half, cutting the deck. “Are we playing poker or talking?”

Another huge sigh. Then she began to deal the cards. She glanced at Liz. “We always play poker for answers. When I win, B.J. answers one question about her past.”

“
You always lose.” I picked up my five cards.

“
Not always.” Carol put the extra cards in the middle of the table between us. “I got you here, didn’t I?”

It bugged me that she told Liz why and how I came to their house, especially with Guard lying under the table. But Liz just nodded. She didn’t look mad.

“
I still think you cheated,” I told Carol.

Liz laughed and pulled out the chair next to me. “You won’t always win in life, B.J. Don’t be a sore loser.”

“
Yeah, but I shouldn’t play with people who can’t be trusted.” I studied the cards I held. I had an ace of diamonds, an ace of hearts, a pair of fives and a jack.

“
Are you going to open, B.J.?”

I shook my head. “You can.”

“
I don’t have anything either.” She kept staring at the cards in her hand.

“
What do you need? We open on guts, or are you still short of those?”

Liz gave me a stern look. “B.J., don’t you have better manners than that?”

“
Nope. I’m a throw-away kid.”

Carol shook her head. “I’m not opening.”

“
Okay, then I will,” I said. “One question.”

“
How many cards do you want?”

“
I’ll stick with these,” I told her. In spite of drawing three cards, Carol still didn’t have anything. I could tell by the way she scowled and tapped one finger on the table. She tried to bluff me, but I called and I was right. She had a handful of low cards that didn’t add up to anything.

“
Two pairs,” I said, laying them out. “I win. Did Murphy call Gabe’s dad?”

“
Of course not.” Carol handed me the cards. “Your deal.”

“
This is going to get pretty dull. Can I
sit in?” Liz asked.
“I’m honest.”

“
It doesn’t bother me.” I began to shuffle the
cards and passed them to Carol for the cut. “We’re playing
draw. Okay?”

“
Sure,”
Liz
answered. “Do you ever play
five-card-stud, B.J.?”

“
No. I learned to play draw poker in jail. We play sometimes at the center.”

“
Do you kids play for money?” Carol demanded.

I smiled sweetly at Carol. “Win a hand and I tell you.”

Liz grinned at us. “I think I’ve got the rules down. We play for truth, no wild cards, and open on guts. Is that
it?”

“
That’s it,” I agreed. “And no special rules for any
weird hand. It would be too hard for Carol to
understand.”

“
What’s going to be hard is keeping track of the winner
and how many questions are on the table.” Liz
got up and went over to the cupboards, coming back with
three kinds of beans. “The white ones are yours, B.J. The
red ones are Carol’s and the brown ones are mine. Each bean is worth one question. Okay?”