Till There Was You (11 page)

“So, what do you do up here all day by yourself?” Lily asked, leaning forward to try to find a station that wasn’t covering the news or playing ads. When she couldn’t find anything, she simply switched the radio off and focused fully on her driving.

“I fix things, hunt, read...I keep busy.”

“You like reading?” Turning her head briefly, she smiled in his direction. “What’s your favorite book?”

There was only one book he read over and over. It made him feel closer to its previous owner, but he didn’t want to share that, so he blurted the name of the first book he could think of. “The Catcher in the Rye.”

“Like the classics, huh? I have to say, I tend to go for trashy romance myself. I like books that make me smile. I don’t like to cry.”

“So, you like dirty fairy tales then?”

“I didn’t say they were dirty.” Lily laughed as they rounded a corner.

“You called them trashy. Same thing, isn’t it?”

“Well, they aren’t like porn or anything—they’re just...they’re nice. They deal with all the important stuff in this world, and at the end, I’m guaranteed that all the hurt of the past will be healed and I’ll get a happy ending. You should try them. It’s how life should be.”

Not liking the depth this conversation seemed to be heading, Linc ran his fingers through Shade’s coat and changed the subject. “So, what’s the deal with the bar—is that yours?”

“Mine and Matt’s. We inherited it when our dad died a few years back. I run it, though.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Linc said, feeling that his attempts at light conversation had gone completely awry.

“It’s okay. It was a drunk driver, hit and run. They found him and charged him. He’s in prison now, but in a way, I think the guilt of what he did was all the punishment he needed. The guy still sends us letters apologizing for what he took from us. It’s really sad.” Lily was an open book and didn’t seem to mind talking about her loss. She was the complete opposite of Linc, who found the subject of loss uncomfortable. But for some reason, he couldn’t help the next question that fell from his lips.

“And what about your mother?”

With a soft but sad smile, Lily glanced at him. “Oh, she died when we were young. Breast cancer. It’s a shitty way to go. She was only thirty-eight.”

Shit!
Linc thought to himself. He should have kept his mouth shut.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“How were you to realize? It all happened a long time ago now. Both Matt and I have come to terms with our loss. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, but we had each other to lean on in the hard times and slowly things got easier. Life goes on for the living, no matter how hard it gets. And knowing our parents would want us to live our best life keeps us strong. They were good people and they gave us all the love they could with what time they had.”

Linc felt like more of a dick now after hearing Lily’s open response. The fact that she’d lived through so much loss in her young life made him realize how strong she was to still be smiling—to still be living. He wondered how it was even possible. Loss and trauma created darkness. He struggled to see a way out and into the light himself. While they’d undergone different circumstances surrounding loss, Linc wondered how a woman, who seemed no older than twenty-five, could find something to smile about when he, at thirty-four, couldn’t even remember the sound of his own laughter?

“What’s your favorite color?” The question came out of nowhere, but with Linc feeling weighed down by the different emotions in his head, he needed to be sure he could ask something completely safe.

If Lily found anything strange about his new line of questioning, she didn’t make it known. She simply smiled at him, and said, “Blue.”

“Blue?”

“What’s wrong with blue? Should it be pink or purple because I’m a
girl
?” Her green eyes sparkled as she accentuated her final word.

“No. It’s not that. It’s just that girls normally come out with aquamarine or cobalt instead of simply saying blue.”

“Well, I guess that makes me not like most girls.”

“I guess not.” He smiled. She certainly wasn’t like other girls. With her cream, knitted sweater hugging her chest and curves in all the right places, she was definitely all woman.

Putting his head down, he turned his attention to the dog in hopes of hiding the thoughts adding to the confusing bulk in his mind.

“You suck at this, you know that right?”

“I suck at what?”

“This whole getting-to-know-you thing. I’m going to help you out a bit, but then you’re going to owe me one.”

“I’ll owe you?”

She waved her hand about in the air. “I’ll add it to your tab.” 

Thinking this could end up going either way, Linc decided to roll the dice and see what Lady Luck brought him. He gave Lily the nod to go for it.

“All right then. I’m twenty-six,”
Close
, Linc thought, “five-foot-eleven, a non-smoker. Favorite meal is steak and chips with gravy and roasted vegetables. Favorite drink is red wine in front of an open fire. I have one sibling, and no parents or any other relatives besides Matt. I grew up in Newsham, so I know practically everyone here. I run the local bar. And in case you’ve been wondering, I’m single and my measurements are—”

“Stop right there.” He held up his hand and grinned, shaking his head at the way she so readily spouted out all that information about herself.

“What?” she asked, all fake innocence. “I saw you checking out my rack earlier.”

The blush crept up his neck and burned both his cheeks. Never had he been more glad for the full beard that hid the telltale change of his skin tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied through his teeth, rolling the window down a little for Shade to stick his head out, while at the same time, thankful for the cold breeze as it stole some of the heat from his cheeks.

Lily giggled. “Okay, your turn now.”

Watching Shade enjoy the wind whipping past, Linc tried to compile a list similar to Lily’s in his mind, figuring there was no harm in giving her some basic information. She’d probably just discover it herself anyway. So, Linc took a deep breath and prepared himself to give someone more knowledge about him than anyone else in the country had.

“Okay. I’m older than you—”

Lily interrupted with a laugh. “Come on, you can’t lead with that. That’s non-information. You have to give me your real age.”

Shaking his head good naturedly, he took a breath and started again. “I’m thirty-four.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Do you want me to keep going or are you going to keep interrupting me?”

Suppressing a laugh with her hand, Lily apologized. “I won’t interrupt again. I promise.”

Linc tried again. “As I was saying, I’m thirty-four, six-two the last time I checked. I’m an ex-smoker. I too prefer steak, although I like it with eggs and thick cut chips. Favorite drink—ice-cold Coke while floating in a pool. I’m an only child. My parents are still alive. I’m unemployed, although at the moment, I prefer to think of myself as a caretaker of the Plowman’s cabin. I’m...” He hesitated over the next part. Something about calling himself a widow didn’t sit right with him. For some reason, he didn’t want that to define him, even though it was exactly what he was. Telling himself to keep the information basic, he decided to go with, “I’m single, since I
know
you’ve been wondering, and my measurement is...” He stopped there deliberately, leaving the rest of the sentence hanging in the air, causing Lily to groan in response.

“Oh, come on, finish the last part.” She glanced at him. “Unless it’s really small, of course.”

Laughter burst past his lips despite his efforts to keep it contained. There it was—the sound he’d forgotten. It felt good to be laughing again.

“See, it’s good to have friends, now isn’t it?” Lily commented as they pulled to a stop in front of Linc’s gate.

“Is that what we are?”

“Yeah. It’s exactly what we are,” Lily informed him, cutting the engine, then hopping out to open his door for him as he picked up Shade and carried him to the house.

“Um...” Linc stopped in front of the door and wondered how he was going to manage twisting the handle with the heavy dog in his arms.

“What’s up?”

“Can you open the door for me?”

“Sure thing.” A wide grin appeared on Lily’s face as her hand wasted no time diving into his pocket to grope around while searching for a set of keys.

“Enjoying yourself there?” Linc asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yep.” Lily grinned, then Linc cleared his throat.

“The door is unlocked, Lily. I just can’t turn the handle.”

Stilling, Lily’s eyes lifted to meet his. “Oh,” she said, a blush creeping to her cheeks as she removed her hand from Linc’s pocket.

“Besides, my keys are in the other pocket.”

Lily turned the handle and pushed the door open. “Well, I take back my ‘really small’ comment then.” Linc could see her trying not to laugh as he inclined his head to tell her she could go inside.

“You’re letting me in your house this time?”

“Just get in,” he grumbled. “He’s not a light dog,” Linc said, feeling glad his jeans were fairly tight. Her groping had woken a certain appendage that didn’t have the same restraint Linc’s mind did.

Following her inside, Linc walked over to the area he had prepared for Shade that morning and set him down amongst some soft, warm blankets.

“Lily?” he called, frowning after he turned around and didn’t see her in the living area.

“Yes?” came the querying reply.

“Where are you?” Moving into the kitchen to prepare some food for Shade, he set out the painkillers Tim had given him and scanned over the instructions.

“I’m snooping,” she called out—another helpful response from somewhere deeper in the house.

After taking care of Shade’s needs, he left him resting before going in search of Lily.

“I’m beginning to regret this whole friends thing already,” he stated, moving from room to room until he found her resting against the doorframe to the main bedroom, looking in envy at the massive four-poster bed.

“It’s still here,” she said with a wistful smile as she walked up to the ornately carved mahogany and ran her fingers over the design.

“You’ve been here before?”

Nodding, she continued around the antique bed, touching the pale blue drapery ornately twisted around the curtain railing. “My dad brought me out here once. He was helping Ruth with the fireplace one Christmas, and I spent the time exploring.” She glanced at Linc, smiling at her memory of the woman who owned the place. Linc knew the story behind the cabin. It had been in Ruth’s family for many years. She was Canadian by birth but had moved out to Australia with her family as a teenager. She had tried to make it back to Canada every year, but after she married and had a child, her visits became more sporadic. When her husband left her with a young son to take care of, she contemplated moving back permanently, but had told Linc that while she loved the cabin and the quiet life it offered, Australia had become her home. As the years went on, life with a teenage boy became more about stability and her visits were sporadic until she stopped traveling back to Canada all together. Now she stayed in Australia to be close to her son. There was no way she could leave him.

Lily turned in a slow circle before moving about the room. “This was my favorite room. I thought it should belong to a princess.” Stopping at the headboard, Lily’s hand reached down and touched the cover of the old book that sat on the nightstand. “Pride and Prejudice?” she asked with a smile.

“Don’t.” His heart leaping into his throat, Linc practically sprinted toward her to stop her from picking it up. But the glint in her eye told him she was oblivious to his plight and thought catching him with the most revered romance novel of all time sitting beside his bed was too good for her to look past.

Turning her back to him, she laughed and clutched it to her chest. “After the ribbing you gave me over liking trashy romance,” she said, holding it out of his reach as she opened the cover.

“Lily,” he warned, but she didn’t seem to understand and was treating this as some sort of game.

“There’s an inscription,” she noted, pulling the book in closer to focus on the words. Linc knew what they said. He’d written them, and in the last year, he’d read them and every word in that book over, and over, and over again.

For my dearest Rachel.

Forever and always yours,

Lincoln

“Please,” he whispered, immediately reaching out and taking the book from her hands. He’d wanted to get it before she saw that—before she knew. But from the look of sorrow clouding her green eyes, he knew he was too late.

“I’m sorry.” Her tone was hushed as she watched him carefully close the book, then set it back by the bed where it had been before he reverently touched the gilding on the cover.

Linc had to clear his throat so he could speak. “I think you should go.”

Not moving, it took a moment before Lily asked, “Who was she?”

He swallowed hard, noting the way Lily had referred to Rachel in the past tense. It meant she already knew. She’d put two and two together. Closing his eyes, Linc saw Rachel’s face floating up from his memory. Smiling at him, telling him she loved him...

“She was my wife.” The words were barely audible, but somehow, Lily heard them and placed a small, warm hand in the center of Linc’s back.

“She died?”

He nodded once, his breath catching in his chest. “This was her favorite. It’s the only thing of hers I kept when...”

“When you came here?” she prompted, and he nodded.

“I couldn’t keep living in a house with so many memories.”

Moving around to face him, Lily looked into his tormented eyes and reached up, running her smooth fingers over the crease of his brow. “I’m so sorry, Linc,” she whispered, and something about the understanding in her eyes made Linc do what he hadn’t done in so long. He held her, and he cried. He held her hard, taking comfort in the warmth of another human being who could understand what it meant to live through loss.