Till We Rise (17 page)

“I’m not drunk, I swear,” I raise my hand and slap his cheek softly. We both laugh about it.

“Yeah, sure,” he says sarcastically.

The truth is that I am drunk but I am feeling happy, for the first time in these days. I just want to drink a lot more and get even happier and have lots of friend.

I stumble and fall on the floor. I’m okay because it doesn’t hurt. Roth comes and helps me stand on my feet. I am still dizzy but I don’t even realize.

“Thanks, my friend,” I say and give him a big friendly hug.

I start walking to go outside to the garden because the party is everywhere; upstairs, downstairs, outside, everywhere.

“Cal, Cal.  Be careful,” Roth says. It seems that he followed me to the garden. I don’t understand a thing.

“With what?” I say inquisitive.

“With yourself, you’re pretty drunk,” he answers.

I don’t know what he is talking about.

“What do you mean?” I tell him displeased.

“I mean that you have to take care of yourself,” he answers slowly, word by word.

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.”

“Calypso, calm down.”

“I don’t have to calm down, you’re not my mother.” I breathe.

“I’m not,” he speaks, “but I am your friend and I want to take care of you.”

I hate it when he does those things. We were having a great time together and now he starts an argument –which is invalid– and he also starts treating me like if I were a total freak and I have serious issues and stuff.

I know that I do have issues but he doesn’t have to talk to me in that way, because it hurts, it really hurts. My only friend makes me feel like shit and all I can do is pretend to be okay.

“I hate you,” I start crying. He makes me feel bad.

Roth places his hands on the nape of his neck as if he is pissed off. He turns around and sighs. I start walking to another place because I don’t want to see him anymore.

“Calypso,”

“What do you want, Roth?” I turn around and stare directly at him.

“Stay here.”

“Why?” I don’t want to. I just want to have fun.

“Because you are extremely drunk,” he states. I am not that drunk. I think.

“I don’t wanna be with you,” I speak.

“Okay, give me your phone then,” he approaches his hand near me and opens it as if I have to give him something.

“What are you going to do?” I ask curiously.

“JUST GIVE ME YOUR PHONE,” Roth yells at me, he scares me sometimes.

“FINE,” I yell him back, I love when I do that. I place my phone in his hand.

“Stay here, okay?”

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

I am not where Roth told me to stay because I was extremely bored standing there by myself, so I went to find something more interesting to do.

I dance with some people and have some fun while I wait for Roth to come back with my effing phone. I don’t even know what he was going to do with it but he seemed so serious I gave it to him.

Lots of minutes pass and I am still alone, I hate the fact that I am always by myself and I can’t socialize with other people. Maybe I have kind of a trauma.

I am seating on the floor. I have no idea how I got here but I am comfortable. I laugh about everything and take a sip of every drink I find. Yes, I steal drinks from the ones who are already drunk.

I just wanna go home and sleep, I feel exhausted but happy at the same time. I want to laugh and cry at the same time, my life is so miserable I wish that I was dead, nobody would notice if I were gone, though.

Suddenly, someone grabs my arms from behind and make me stand up. I know that smell.

“There you go,” he says while I try to keep still.

Theodore.

“Here’s her phone, take care of her, man,” Roth tells him and pats him on the back, as if he was really his friend.

“I will.” I look at him embarrassed. I can’t believe he is here.

Theo seems disappointed, he is older than me and of course he is old enough to have this stupid situation where a girl gets extremely drunk and somebody has to take her home, which is probably what is going to happen. Anyway, this has already happened between us so maybe it is not that bad…

“Let’s go,” he says with a tone of voice I’ve never heard. I don’t know if it is bad or good.

We start walking and I realize that I can’t do it properly. I can’t walk on my own terms, I am weak, I am stupid at this moment and I don’t feel like a human being. I don’t feel my body anymore.

“Oh God, Cal. What did you drink?” Theo says moving his face side to side and then he grabs me and raises me like a baby. Maybe it is not a good idea because I am about to throw up everything, but this is definitely better than walking –or at least trying to– by myself.

I am speechless; I’d have never thought Roth would ask for my phone to call him. Does that means that I am really drunk and I can’t even move? Yes. The best part is that I feel great, I feel extremely nice and everything is funny and I love life sometimes.

“Excuse me,” he says while trying to pass by the people that are dancing to get out of the house. I know that now everyone is probably looking at me because I am extremely disgusting, not like at the beginning of the party when no one knew who I was.

When we reach to the house’s door he asks somebody to open the door for him because he has both of his hands occupied –with me.

“Do you want to try to walk now?” he asks looking directly at me. His dark eyes are the most beautiful than they’ll ever be, honestly, they look like two perfect circles and the fact that they are staring at me makes everything even more perfect.

“I’m fine,” I say placing my head on his chest.

“Ha, I know,” he says giggling. “Honestly, what did you drink, Cal?”

“Vodka and other stuff, Theo. What’s the matter with that?” My voice is definitely not my voice.

“I’m a bad influence for you.”

“I know, but I like you” I admit. He’s probably saying that he is a bad influence because he made me drink for the first time when we were at Ramsgate.

              “I like you too,” he says.

              “You know, I was all over you when we first met,” I start speaking and then I add, “I think I might be in love with you.”

              I can’t believe what I’ve just said, but come on, I’m drunk and nothing is wrong about it. I can say whatever I want and tomorrow everything is going to be the same as yesterday.

              “You’re drunk, Cal.”

              “Ugh, you don’t understand”

              “What?”

              “That you are the first boy that makes me feel this way,” I just speak; I have no idea what I am doing.

              “What way?” he’s kind of taking advantage of my situation.

              “Alive,” I yell. I need to shout that I love this person, but not when I am drunk. I know I am not sober but I have my limits. I can’t ruin everything by telling him that I love him because that is completely out of my mind.

              He laughs tenderly and I take a look at him, staring at his mouth and at every single faction on his face. He’s so beautiful. Let’s remember that I am being carried like a baby, I’m on his arms, and I am not walking because I can’t manage to do it.

              “You’re beautiful when you laugh,” I say.

              “You’re beautiful every time,” he speaks, and every time he does, I fall in love even harder.

              “Don’t lie to me, Theodore,” I giggle.

              “I’ve never lied to you, why would I?”

              “To make me feel better”

              “I wouldn’t make you feel better by lying to you, Cal,” he says in a nice tone of voice.

              “So, what would you do?” I ask curiously. Not that I really want to know, I am just curious. Ha. I want to know, obviously.

              “I’d kiss you every time I see you, I’d make love to you, I’d just remember you how beautiful you are and I’d-“

              “You’re so romantic, Theo,” I interrupt him, laughing.

              “Don’t laugh at me, Calypso,” he adds pretty pissed off.

              “I’m not, you’re just so sweet,” I say.

              I rest my head on one of his shoulders and close my eyes, I am too tired and dizzy I can’t even think anymore. The only thing I can hear is Theo’s steps and his breathing. I feel kind of sleepy; I think that I am falling asleep.

              “Cal,” I hear his voice again, “We’re here,” he adds.

              I make weird noises because I am comfortable in his arm and I don’t want to get down. I grab his neck, embrace him pretty hard and laugh about it.

              “I don’t wanna go,” I say like a little child.

              “Come on, I’ll stay with you” Theo says. “Where’s your key?”

              “Hum, the carpet,” I barely remember where it is.

              “I need to get you down.”

              Theodore does what he says and puts me on the floor, obviously I am on my feet. I can manage to maintain the balance but not for so long.

              He moves the little green carpet that is on the floor and finds a tiny key, and then he gets up and opens the door.

              “Are you okay?” he inquires staring directly at my eyes.

              “Kind of,” I answer touching my forehead, which is hurting like a bitch.

              “Let’s get you something to eat,” he says.

              I didn’t remember how hungry I was. I didn’t eat for a day or longer, that’s why I am feeling dizzier than I should. I am not taking advantage of my lack of food because I am totally aware that I had an enormous amount of alcohol which I am not used to.

              Alcohol is horrible, to be honest. I don’t really like it; I just drink without thinking about it. I like the way it makes me feel afterwards; crazy, happy and invincible.

              We step into the house and he walks directly to the kitchen, I have no idea how he knows that well my house. Maybe yesterday when I was asleep he investigated it, who knows.

              I follow him and realize that I can walk now; I am less dizzy than I was before. Maybe because I am at home and I know that I am safe here.

              “What do you want? I’m a good cook,” he says glad of himself.

              “Is there something you’re bad at?”

              “Golf. I suck at it.” We laugh together.

              I imagine Theodore playing golf and it is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever thought about. I am laughing more than I should.

              “Okay, stop it,” he exclaims while opening the fridge, which is completely empty, the only things you can find in are some eggs and a few vegetables. I am not into salty things, I like sweet better.

              “Cal, you’ve nothing in here.”

              “I know.”

              “Do you want me to go buy something?” he asks. He is so sweet, that’s why I like him so much.

              “How?” I ask, “How did you get to the party?”

              “A cab,” he answers.

              “Oh, my God, you’re so cute” I say while I approach him.

              “Why?”

              “I don’t know, you just are,” I grab his face and give him a nice little peck. I missed his lips.

              He grabs my waist and pulls me near him, then he kisses me like he always does; grabbing my face with both of his hands.

              “Mmmm,” I say between kisses, he is an extremely amazing kisser, I would never get used to it.

              “Cal,” he says while tearing our faces apart. He caresses my right cheek and stares directly into my eyes.

              “What?” I ask.

              “Seriously, you have to eat something cause if you don’t, tomorrow is going to be a really bad day for you,” he states seriously.

              I really love how much he cares about me; he went to the party IN A CAB just to fetch me, but I don’t care about eating now, I want to kiss him and be with him and I can’t because I am drunk as hell and everything is so unfair and I am stupid.

              “Ugh, Theo”

              “Don’t get mad at me,” he pulls a nice face. I can’t get mad at him with those eyes and smile. I can’t even try to because it’s against my morals to get mad at someone extremely gorgeous as Theodore is. God, I am so weak when I am near him.

              “I have some cookies in the cupboard,” I point at the place where the cookies should be.

              “Great,” he speaks while searching for them. The cupboard is empty as the fridge. I don’t know how my mom managed to leave me without any food to live just for a few more days.

              Theo grabs the cookies and hands them to me; I grab them reluctantly and say “Thanks,” to him.

              “Let’s go upstairs,” I say and grab his hand with my empty one. I try to walk normally but it’s impossible, although I
can
walk, it’s not the same walk I normally do.

              “Feeling better?” he asks as he sits on my bed.

              “Kind of,” I say.

              I take out my shoes and then my jeans. I don’t care if he is watching, I am in my room and I can do whatever I want to. I’m going to change my clothes because they have a hideous smell and I want to be more comfortable.

              “Are you sure?”

              “Yes, Theodore,” I turn around to look at him, “Thanks for asking, though,” I place my dirty clothes inside my closet and grab a pair of pajamas.

              “My pleasure,” he says amazed. I can’t distinguish if it is because I have just changed my clothes in front of him or what.

              “I’m so sleepy,” I say while I grab a cookie and then go directly to the bed, lying down.

              “Go to sleep, then.”

              “No,” I stare at him.

              “Why?” he asks confused.

              “Because you’re gonna disappear.”

              “I thought you wanted to be alone”

              “Why would I?”

              “Because of what happened,” he says pretty convinced he is saying the right thing to say. I have no idea what he is talking about, I mean, I do have an idea but I don’t really believe it’s the same thing I am thinking about.

              “What happened, Theo? What are you talking about?” I ask confused and altered.

              “We both know,” he answers very quiet, placing my messy hair kindly behind my left ear.

              “What do you know?” I ask again.

              “Don’t make me this, Calypso,” he sighs and seems frustrated, like annoyed by my presence.

              “HOW DO YOU KNOW, THEODORE?” I yell at him while trying to stand correctly on my feet.

              “I just do.”

              “What did you do?” My eyes start filling with water, I am so sensitive. I can’t control my emotions and lately I have a big tendency to cry. To cry a lot.

              “I read the thing,” Theo says while getting up from bed and getting near me, “I was curious and I-“

              “What thing?” I speak cautiously.

              “The letter,” he answers.

              “You’re sick” I interrupt him, “Why did you do that? Why did you do that to me?” I say shouting at him, again.