T.J. Klune - Bear, Otter, and the Kid 1 - Bear, Otter, and the Kid (10 page)

I picked up my phone to call Anna or Creed and dialed Otter instead.

He answered on the fourth ring. “Thank God you called. This dinner is still going on, and I have to tell you, my extended family is insufferable. Thanks for giving me an excuse to get away.”

“My extended family sucks too,” I said, trying to make a joke, but it came out as
Myyy tendin famries fluck toa.

 

Otter sounded amused. “I take it that the Kids asleep, and you decided to partake in a little self-indulgence?”

“Yesh,” I slurred. “Irve freaking
earned
thissss.”
“Theres no denying that. Where are you?”

“In the tub. Theres
quakes
, and I needed to be safe,” I stated irrationally.

“You okay?”
“No. Come over.”
“Okay.” No hesitation.
“Youre eating family with your dinner. I dont want to mess that up.” He snorted. “Screw em. Creed can keep them happy. Ill be there in

fifteen minutes.”

 

A warning bell went off in the back of my head. “No, its okay,” but he had already disconnected.

I tried to get up, to do what, I dont know. I only succeeded in hitting my head on the soap dish that outcropped from the shower wall. I decided I was in no condition to even be
thinking
at that point, much less having Otter over, with everything that had been going on. I looked stupidly down at my phone, wondering how I had gone from wanting to call Creed or Anna to having Otter on his way over while I was hammered. I threw my phone into the hallway, where it bounced off the carpet into the wall. I reached over and turned on the shower and sat there as the cold water fell on me, willing myself to become sober. My clothes quickly became soaked and clung against my skin. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs and shivered.

I was startled out of a daze sometime later when Otter walked into the bathroom. He was wearing a suit and tie, and I wondered why he had gotten so dressed up to come to my house. I wondered why I was still sitting in the shower, my skin numb and teeth chattering. I wondered why I noticed that Otters tie matched his eyes almost perfectly. He leaned against the bathroom doorway, big arms crossed against his chest, head cocked to the side as if he was trying to figure out just what the hell it was that I was doing. I felt like I needed to explain.

“I got scared,” I said stupidly as I gestured around me. “This is the only place thats safe when everything quakes.” He didnt say anything; instead, he left the doorway and climbed into the bathtub with me, suit and all. He sat down next to me, our knees knocking together gently. He reached over to the faucet and flipped it until the water grew warm. I looked over at him, eyes wide.

He saw me staring at him and shrugged. “Its only a suit, Bear. And your lips are blue. Whyre you sitting here with the cold water on?”

I looked down at my hands and realized how insane I must have looked when he walked into the bathroom. “I was trying to get sober,” I said, my voice sounding like the Kids.

Otter snorted and lifted the bottle out of my hands. “I bet you were. Why in Gods name would you be drinking this shit?”

“Its all I had. Its all my mom left,” I said, as if it explained everything. “Well, then, this wont be so bad,” he said as he leaned forward and dumped the rest of the bottle into the toilet. I started to protest but thought better of it when he shook his head.

“Fine,” I said. “I didnt want any more anyways.” I put my head on my knees, finally starting to feel warm again. We sat for a bit, not talking, and that was okay. The shower was too loud to be able to talk properly, but it was good just to have someone there. I was conscious of his presence, his knee knocking against mine every so often, and I took comfort from it. I felt the world slowly right itself, and when I was sure the earthquake was over, I got up and reached over Otter and turned off the water. I got out of the bathtub and handed him a towel.

“Better?” he asked as he took off his suit coat and tie. He rubbed the towel over his face and hair.

“Yeah. You didnt have to come over, Otter.”
“I know.”
“And now youre all wet.”
“Youre very observant when youre drunk.”
“Whyd you come here?”
“You asked me to. Whyd you call me?”
“I dont know,” I said truthfully.

“I dont know, either, Bear. But Im here now. And yes, I am soaking wet, as are you. Can I borrow some shorts and a shirt or something? We cant stay in these clothes.”

My mind took that the wrong way, and I felt an aftershock course through me.

He followed me to my bedroom, where Ty was still asleep. He waited in the doorway while I grabbed some clothes for him. I tossed him an old shirt and some cargo shorts. He walked away, and I heard the bathroom door shut. I hoped he hadnt notice how my hands were shaking. I told myself it was because I was cold. I felt like a liar.

I quickly peeled off the wet clothes and used the towel to wipe down my chilled skin. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt. I quickly found out I was still drunk when I couldnt figure out how to work the zipper on my pants and my shirt ended up on me inside out and backward. I cursed softly.

I walked out of the bedroom, making sure to leave the door partway open again, and went into the living room, where Otter was already sitting on the ugly couch. My clothes seemed to fit him better than they did me. The shirt was stretched tight against his chest and shoulders. The sleeves strained against his arms. I wondered drunkenly what would happen if I made him angry; I bet I wouldnt like him when hes angry. I felt my mouth go dry and chose to sit in a chair opposite him instead of on the couch next to him, trying to get the image of Otter as the Hulk out of my head.

I didnt know what to say so I said nothing. He didnt say anything, either, and in my mind it became a contest to see who could hold out the longest before speaking. My drunken mind found this fascinating, at least until my drunken mouth opened and said, “I cant do this, Otter.”

“You cant do what, Bear?”
“I dont know. Dont listen to me. Im drunk and not making sense.” “What cant you do, Bear?” he repeated, and I swore at him in my head.

“I cant… I cant take care of Ty,” I said, thinking Id meant to say something else but not knowing what it could possibly be.
He sighed. “Dont take this the wrong way, but you really dont have a choice in the matter. You have to.”

“Its not fair.”
“No, its not.”
“I cant do it, Otter.”
“Yes, you can.”
“Were you going to leave?” I said abruptly.

This took him by surprise, and he recoiled as if Id slapped him. “What?”

“Back when we told Ty that Mom had left, the Kid asked you if you were staying, and you said you were, and Creed said something. I dont remember
what
he said, but it made me think that you had plans to leave.”

He shook his head but didnt say anything. “Were you?” I insisted, suddenly needing an answer from him.

“It doesnt matter, Bear,” Otter said quietly, looking away from me. “Yes, it does. You dont need to stay because of us.”
“Us?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Me and Ty.”
He shrugged. “I told you both I would.”

“Dont sacrifice anything for us, Otter,” I said, feeling anger ignite in my stomach. “I have to do that enough myself already, so dont you do the same.”

He didnt say anything back.
“Where are you going to go? Is it for work?”
He shook his head.

“No? No, what? It wasnt for work?” I pushed, an edge in my voice. “Then what was it for? What were you going to do? When were you going to tell me?”

“Im not…,” he started then sighed.

 

“Dont be stupid, Otter. Answer the damn question. When are you leaving?”

“Bear,” he said, his voice in that low warning tone. Usually it shut me up. Usually I stopped talking. But whether fueled by alcohol or rage, I couldnt drop it. I couldnt leave it alone.

“Why wont you tell me?”

 

“Bear, just leave it alone!” Otter got up and started pacing back and forth.

“Fuck you. I wont! Tell me!”
“Im not going anywhere!”
“Why not!” I shouted, not caring if the Kid woke up.

He stopped pacing, and his eyes flashed at me. “If you dont know already, then theres no point in telling you,” he spat at me.
I jumped up from my chair and stood in front of him, glaring up into his face. He scowled down at me, his eyes unflinching. I had never been that close to his face before and saw flecks of gold in the green of his eyes that I never knew existed. I wondered just how drunk I was because I felt my hands come up, and I knew I was going to punch Otter in the face or shove him to the ground. What I didnt expect was my hands to wrap around the back of his neck and slide gently up to his hair, still wet from the shower. What I didnt expect was for my hands to pull him toward me. What I didnt expect was for his lips to meet mine, a grunt of surprise pouring from his mouth. What I didnt expect was how warm he tasted and how good it felt and how I could tell when he got over his initial shock because he started to kiss me
back
, and my blood boiled, and I was electrified, and the whole universe shook to its core. Then I realized what was happening, what I was
doing
and who I was doing it
with
, and I froze as Otters hands trailed their way to my waist. As soon as his hands touched my hips, I jumped back, finding myself almost on the other side of the room.

“Oh my
God
,” I moaned out loud as my stomach cramped, and I bent over from the pain of it. “Oh my
God
.”

And so thats how it happened. Thats how I ended up kissing my best friends big brother; Otter, who I had known for practically my entire cognizant life. Crazy, right? Especially since Im
not
like that. I dont know how it happened or why it happened or anything, okay? It just did. I remember stumbling away from him, and I muttered apologies, telling him I was drunk, and I didnt know what I was doing and thats not who I was and how I just needed to go to sleep and if he could just leave, and I would call him later. While babbling at him, I never met his eyes. My head was dizzy, and I felt sick to my stomach. I was almost to the couch and asking him incoherently if he wouldnt tell Creed or Anna when the room started to spin. I lay down on the couch and saw him walking toward me, a concerned look on his face, and before I was gone, I remembered how his hair had felt under my fingers, wet and soft.

S
OMETIME
later, I thought I had a dream. I dreamt that Otter had picked me up from the couch, carrying me in his arms. He took me to my bedroom and put me in my bed, pulling the comforter up to my chin. He sat on the bed beside me and rubbed my hair and caressed my cheek. I tried to talk to him, but my mouth felt full of cotton, and I couldnt speak. I felt the bed shift as he stood, and he leaned over me and kissed me on the forehead. Before he pulled away, his lips came near my ear, and he said, “Im sorry. I hope youll be able to forgive me one day.” I wanted to tell him it was okay even though I didnt know what he was talking about. But he was already gone.

“
B
EAR
, get up!” the Kid said into my ear.

I groaned and squinted my eyes open, hissing at the light as it stabbed its way into my head. I turned my head and saw Ty peering down at me from his perch next to my bed. As soon as I moved my head, jagged pain shot through it, causing my stomach to ripple.

“Are you sick?” Ty asked me.
“Yes,” I said hoarsely. “Whyd you wake me up? What time is it?”

The Kid glanced over at the clock on the nightstand that separated our beds. “Its still in the morning. I was watching TV, and your phone rang, and it said Creed, so I answered it. He sounds mad and said he wanted to talk to you.” I then noticed he was holding my cell phone in one of his hands, and I remembered what had happened the night before. My breath caught in my throat, and I almost told Ty to hang up the phone and then throw it on the ground and step on it. Then I would pack a bag for him and me, and we would get in my car and drive to Canada, where no one would know that I had kissed a guy the night before.
Did Otter tell him?
I panicked.
Did Otter tell Creed I fucking kissed him?
Ty held out the phone and put into my outstretched hand.

“Im going to go watch TV,” Ty said as he walked out of the room. I put the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Im going to fucking kill him!” Creed raged into my ear.
“Kill who?” I asked, not wanting an answer.
“Otter! I cant believe hed do this!”
“What?”
“Hes gone!”
My heart skipped a beat. “Wait, what? What do you mean hes gone?”

Creed starting shouting into the phone: “I woke up this morning, and he was packing up his car with all his shit. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he had taken that job in San Diego after all. He said it was better this way! Can you believe this? I mean, how could he do this to Ty, man? He told Ty he was going to stay here, and now its just going to mess up the Kid even more! Hed said he had turned that fucking job down to stay here!”

“Hes gone?” I repeated, my mind too numb to think of anything else.

“As of an hour ago. I asked him what Ty was going to think? What
you
were going to think by him not saying anything to you guys, and he wouldnt answer me.”

“Oh.”

“I know, right? I mean,
what the hell
! „Better this way? What does that even mean? I want to know why he did this. He left that dinner last night, and something happened because when he came back home, he was acting really weird. He wouldnt tell me where he was going, but he was wearing different clothes when he came back.”

“He was?”

“Yeah and, well, okay, I have to tell you something, and you have to promise this stays between us. This is some serious shit, Bear.”
“I promise.”

I heard Creed take a deep breath. “Otters gay. He came out to my mom and dad and me a few months ago. I didnt tell you because I read on Wikipedia that the coming-out process is different for everyone, and they have to do it on their own. I dont give a shit, but my parents were kind of weird about it, and there were some bad vibes around here for a while.”

“Oh,” I said.