To Dream Anew (27 page)

“Can we talk?” Levi questioned as Ardith stirred the wash water.

Winona was playing with Rusty and seemed content to leave Ardith and Levi to themselves. Ardith sighed and looked up to meet Levi’s gentle expression.

“What about?”

Levi leaned against the porch post. “About us.”

Ardith stopped stirring and went to retrieve more wood for the fire. Levi hurried to help her. “I know you think there’s no chance for us, but you’re wrong. We love each other. I know you love me. I can tell by the way you look at me—by the things you say.”

Ardith straightened abruptly. “I’ve never told you that I love you,” she declared.

Levi grinned. “You’ve never told me you didn’t either.”

Unnerved, Ardith quickly bent down to pick up the split logs. How could she continue to fight her emotions? How could she fight both herself and this man?

“I want to marry you,” Levi said, helping her stoke the wash fire.

Ardith said nothing. How could she? She wanted to marry him just as fervently as he wanted to marry her.
So why don’t I just accept his proposal? Why can’t I shake loose of the past and accept that God has given me something better?
Why was it so easy to believe that God would mete out punishment, but not be as confident that He would give blessings?

“Ardith, I know you’re afraid. I know that other man was cruel to you—hurt you. But I promise not to be like him. I promise to wait until you’re ready. I promise to treat you special and to always take your feelings into consideration.”

Tears trickled down Ardith’s cheeks and she turned away from Levi, pretending to prepare more clothes for the wash. No one had ever made her feel this way—so loved, so cared for. And it wasn’t only her. He loved Winona dearly. He played with her every evening after supper. There wasn’t a day that went by that Levi didn’t do something special with the child. In a sense, he’d courted Ardith through Winona.

He took hold of her arms and very gently turned Ardith to face him. “I won’t say the past doesn’t matter, because it’s obviously hurt you greatly. But I want you to know that what we can have together will be so much better than what happened in the past. I love you, and I love Winona. Please marry me.”

CHAPTER
19

S
EPTEMBER HELD THE LINGERING MEMORIES OF A PLEASANT
summer. Amidst the warmth was the hint of a chill—especially at night. The days were growing shorter, but everything was still lovely in tones of green and gold. The year had been a prosperous one for the Diamond V. The hay harvest had been exceptional, and the Selbys had been able to secure a nice winter supply for the horses and milk cows. The livestock had grown fat over the summer, the general health and well-being of the family was good, and even the vegetable gardens had yielded an abundant crop. There was much to celebrate.

But perhaps the best part of this Indian summer was that Ardith had finally agreed to marry Levi. Dianne was more pleased than she could say. For so long Levi had pined over Dianne, but when Ardith had come to live with them, everything had changed. Levi clearly loved her and Winona, and everyone was delighted to see the couple join in marriage.

“I have an announcement,” Cole said in his booming baritone. The wedding supper had barely begun, but already the merriment was evident.

Ardith and Levi paused in their conversations with Charity and Ben and looked to Cole in anticipation of his declaration.

“I know there has been much discussion about where the newlyweds would live, but Dianne and I have kind of taken matters into our own hands. The ladies have been busy all week.” Dianne shared conspiratorial glances with Koko, Charity, and even Faith. The women smiled. Even one-year-old John laughed and clapped as he sat on Dianne’s lap.

Cole continued with a grin. “We gentlemen have been busy as well. We’ve been making some furniture and doing some fixing up and adding on to the far back cabin. Dianne and I would like to give this to Levi and Ardith as a wedding gift. It’s a way for all of us to help you start out your marriage on the right foot.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Ardith said, her hand wiping away newly fallen tears.

Dianne took special pride in her sister’s appearance. She had made the wedding dress for Ardith, spending many hours talking about the future while sewing stitches. The dress was nothing fancy, but rather very practical. The powder blue wool complemented Ardith’s dark hair and eyes. The gown would serve her well for years to come, but for now it would be Ardith’s Sunday dress. Ardith was positively radiant.

“Thank you for all you’ve done for us,” Levi said, pushing back his hat. “I didn’t expect to have such an easy way.”

“Well, we aren’t exactly making your way easy. There is one tiny string attached,” Dianne announced. She looked to Cole first and then to Gus. The man was aging fast and it was time for his retirement. He would live out the rest of his days on the Diamond V—at least as long as the ranch belonged to them.

“What kind of string?” Levi asked, looking to Ardith. When Ardith shrugged and shook her head, he looked back to Dianne and grinned. “What are you up to?”

“Gus has decided to finally take our advice and hand over the reins of foreman to another,” Dianne announced. “It hasn’t been an easy decision, but we feel that Gus deserves to relax and enjoy life a little. He served Uncle Bram with honor and dependability, and we are blessed to call him family.”

Gus blushed several shades of red but said nothing. Cole picked up where Dianne had left off. “We would like to offer Levi the position.”

Levi’s grin widened. “I’d be happy to take the job, but only if Gus will postpone his complete retirement and oversee me in the position. He’s trained me since my first day here at the Diamond V, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for him.”

“If Miz Dianne and Cole don’t mind, I’d be right happy to take you up on that offer. Ain’t right for a man to sit around and do nothing.”

Dianne nodded, appreciating the gracious way Levi had allowed Gus to feel important. She could see Gus’s chest swell with pride as what could have been a difficult moment for him was eased over in love.

“So if we’re all agreed,” Cole said, pulling Dianne close, “I propose a toast to the happy couple, their new family, their new home, and Levi’s new position on the ranch.”

“Hear! Hear!” everyone cried in unison and lifted their glasses of punch.

There were other toasts and other gifts, but Dianne knew that Ardith would have been equally as happy if the entire matter were over with Ben’s pronouncement of them as man and wife. Ardith was still uncomfortable with large crowds of people, and since some of the local families from the surrounding areas had come, the gathering was quite large.

“Come on Luke, Micah,” Dianne said, standing and swinging John to her hip. “Let’s take a walk by the river and see if there are any summer flowers left.”

“If there are, can we pick ’em?” Luke asked.

“Pick ’em,” Micah parroted.

Dianne smiled. “Of course. We’ll pick them and take them to Aunt Ardith and Uncle Levi’s new cabin.” This seemed to satisfy her boys nicely.

Dianne enjoyed the stroll and knew that these quiet moments with her boys were more valuable to her than all of the cattle and horses in the world. The boys were the spitting image of their father, although there were times when she saw a bit of Chadwick in them as well. Cole couldn’t be prouder. The boys were his joy, pure and simple. He loved showing them how to ride and care for the animals, and he never tired of playing with them when time permitted.
Life is good,
she thought.
So much better than I could have ever imagined
.

Still, there were moments of sadness. Fear of what might happen with the ranch loomed in the back of her mind. Then, too, thoughts of the Lawrence family awakened horrible memories of what had happened to Maggie and Whitson, and Trenton and Sam.

The party lacked the complete joy that might have been had the others been in attendance. Dianne still found it hard to believe they were gone. People came and went on a daily basis in this part of the country, but a few hardy ones never left. They planted deep roots and survived in spite of the storms. Whit and Maggie would never have gone on their own accord. They were buried on Diamond V property—side by side, companions in death as they had been in life. Trenton might as well have been dead—he could never come back. At least not as Trenton Chadwick.

“You look a little sad,” Ardith said, surprising Dianne.

“Oh, you startled me. I’m afraid I was deep in thought.” Dianne cradled John, glancing down to see that his eyelids were Drooping. She hugged him closer and looked up to her sister. “Are you happy?”

“I never thought I would be again, but I am. Before, when I first came here, I was just relieved to be rid of the nightmare that had been my life. When I saw how secluded the ranch was, I thought this was a good place to hide from the world. But I guess the world came looking for me.” She smiled and took hold of Dianne’s hand.

“I’m grateful for the way you’ve taken care of me and Winona. I thought so often of my family when the Indians held me. Through the good and the bad, I always imagined how it would be to someday find you all again. I used to lie awake at night and think of seeing Mama and what she would say. I’d think about how everyone would look—whether you and Betsy would be married.”

Dianne thought of the painful days after Ardith’s disappearance. “Oh, Ardith, it was so hard losing you. I resent the lost years. I try to understand why God allowed such a thing, but I just can’t. Charity says we can’t know the mind of God—that His thoughts aren’t our thoughts, His ways aren’t our ways. She says hard times are times of learning—times when we have to trust in faith that God is still watching and caring for us as tenderly and completely as when times were good.”

“I’m trying to hold fast to that belief as well,” Ardith responded. “I talked to God a lot when I was held captive. He gave me great peace, but at the same time He infuriated me. Does that make sense?”

“Perfect sense. You could be speaking my mind right now.”

Ardith cocked her head to one side. “How so?”

“Trenton. I have great peace regarding God’s mercy and deliverance.” She glanced around, worried that someone might overhear. John came to life in her arms and struggled to get Down and join his brothers, who were playing about fifteen feet away.

Seeing no one else, Dianne continued. “At the same time I’m infuriated that He would allow such tragedies and heartache. I don’t understand why Trenton should have had to suffer so much.”

Ardith chuckled, surprising Dianne. “Trenton told me it was his past catching up with him. He said it was a miracle such a thing hadn’t happened a long, long time ago. He seemed almost relieved to let Trenton Chadwick die.”

Dianne knew it was true; Trenton had told her as much. He wanted a new start. A new life without having to drag around the baggage he’d acquired as a young man. Was that an even greater mercy in God’s plan? To everyone but family, Trenton Chadwick was dead and buried, along with his past. No one cared about Nicolaas Mercer. Still, was it wrong for Trenton to live a lie? Even if it saved his life?

“God will make even this rough place smooth,” Ardith said, sounding very wise to Dianne.

“There are a great many rough places in this territory. So many that maybe even God won’t have time to smooth them all.”

Ardith shrugged. “If God doesn’t take care of them, maybe we don’t need to worry about them. He won’t be mocked. You’ve told me that enough times yourself. He will avenge His own—in His time. Isn’t that what you and Charity are always saying? If it’s true for me and what I went through, then it must be true for Trenton as well.”

“I know you’re right,” Dianne said with a smile. “Besides, it’s your wedding day, and I don’t want to continue with such talk. We’re supposed to be celebrating, and that’s exactly what I intend to do!”

“Look, Mama, we found some flowers for Aunt Ardith,” Luke declared.

Dianne laughed. “See, even the boys know this is a time for joy and happiness … and flowers.”

“And love,” Ardith added. “Thank you for loving me in spite of the past. And thank you for loving Winona.”

“How could I not?” Dianne watched as the other boys joined them, their hands full of wild flowers. “Love makes it all better. It heals old wounds and overlooks mistakes.” The boys held up their offerings to Ardith.

She smiled and reached down to take the flowers. “These are beautiful. Thank you for picking them.”

Luke wiped his dirty hands on his shirt. “Papa said snow will come soon. They would die if we didn’t pick ’em.”

“And if you didn’t pick them, I wouldn’t have a chance to enjoy them. I know Winona and Levi will like them too.”

Ardith looked back to Dianne. “I hope someday I’ll have boys as wonderful as yours.”

“You will. I just know it,” Dianne said softly. “I just know it.”

“I’m glad you could share tea with me today,” Portia said in a sugary sweet voice. She smiled at Cynthia Lawrence and her two daughters. “Here in the West, we women must stick together. Otherwise we might perish for want of female friendship.”