To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) (36 page)

“So do I.”

Later, I helped Abby pack and overstepped my boundaries again. I didn’t respect her space and invaded her privacy. There were so many pills. Why didn’t I know?

52

Abby

“Did you wipe Margaret’s memory or mind-trick her? It’s obvious I’m spending the night with you.” I was glad to spend the night with Xander again, but the thought he could use his gifts like this upset me.

“No.”

I wasn’t sure I believed him. I thought we were past lying and going for open omission of facts instead. “What are you going to do with me?” I asked.

“Not sure yet. I don’t know how long we’ll have the house to ourselves.”

I tugged on his hand. “What were you doing this weekend?”

“You aren’t going to like it.” He shifted behind the wheel. “We were demon hunting up north.”

“Oh. Did you get it?”

He breathed out a deep sigh. “Yeah, but they probably found another three already. I should call Caleb when we get home.” Xander stopped at a red light and scrubbed his face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call or text you. I saw you were worried.”

He scoffed. “I was well beyond worried, Abby. Frantic doesn’t even come close to what I was.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I wish someone would have told me.”

“Are you tired?”

His head rotated slowly. “No, I’m starving.”

I smiled at him. He ate enough for five Gregs.

Xander pulled up to the house, he helped me down from the SUV, grabbed my bag, and we walked inside. His hand trembled in mine and I stopped to stare at it, looking to him for an explanation, but he didn’t give me one.

“I emptied a drawer for you after you were here last. You can put your clothes away and there’s a drawer in my bathroom, too. You want anything?” I shook my head and his forehead went to mine. His eyes closed and the trembling had reached his entire body now.
He needed to eat
. “I thought I lost you today. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” With a kiss, he left me to unpack.

The sunlight streamed in the window. I didn’t think he ever closed his blinds, but there was no need to. Maybe it brought him closer to home. My heart ached a little to think that Xander didn’t consider Earth “home.”

I opened his drawers until I found an empty one. All his things were folded and organized, even his socks. In his bathroom, I found the empty drawer. I liked he did that assuming I would be back and would need space for my things. I unpacked my pills and toiletries, then my clothes. Before going out to him, I brushed my teeth.

Xander was making breakfast sandwiches—six of them. With cheeks full of potato chips, he grinned, so boyishly cute. Laughing, I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and went to the backyard. I slipped my sandals off and put my feet in the water. The pool was still warm—it must be heated. The weather was hot enough to elicit sweating after a few minutes in the sun; I wanted to jump in the pool, but I didn’t think to bring a suit.

After long consideration, I stood and peeled off my clothes. I jumped in with a bra and panties, pretty much the same as a bikini. I wondered if Xander was watching me or he was still eating. Instead of swimming, I tried floating on my back, but I kept sinking.

My eye caught the diving board. Smiling, I climbed out and jumped off a few times. Country music began to play and I relaxed into the water. I closed my eyes and drifted, letting the gentle waves lap at my skin as the music took me to a special place.

A large splash engulfed me and my eyes opened, but I didn’t see Xander and he didn’t answer my calls. Suddenly, a large hand snaked around my thigh and I was under the water. Just as quickly, Xander brought me up. I had enough time to wipe the water from my eyes when full lips landed on my mouth and a minty tongue stroked mine.

Heat was building and quickly, but he let me go and hauled himself out to the diving board. “Come on, beautiful, let’s see what you can do.” Standing by the board, he was waiting. Just as I was beginning to question this underwear thing, he leapt off and another tidal wave overtook me.

I climbed out and did my best cannonball, but it turned out to be more like a tennis ball in comparison. We continued to jump in silly tricks, laughing at my failed ones. Tired and panting, I held onto the side while I watched him. Xander stopped diving and looped an arm around my waist to swim with me. It never ceased to amaze me how strong he was.

His fingers ran along my bra strap. “Didn’t bring your bathing suit?”

“I didn’t think of it. But you did pick these out for me today.”

With an impish grin, he glanced down at me. “Yes, I did. I made a snap decision between pink and black. I didn’t want to seem like a pervert digging around in your lingerie drawer.”

“No, you’re a pervert for gawking at me from below the neck to above my knees.”

“I told you I was more guy than angel.” Broad shoulders shrugged above the water line. “By the way, the strip tease didn’t suck.” He nodded to the side of the pool.

My smile faded. “Did you really look at me today or were you joking?”

Unashamed, he said, “I looked. Abby, you’re breathtaking.” His words were meant to reassure me, but I only felt self-conscious. My boyfriend saw me naked today. Naked-naked. Holy hell.

Wrapping my legs around his waist, Xander swam to the shallow end where he could stand. He pulled me flush against him and sealed his mouth over mine. My doubts melted to his kiss and desire took over.

His hands ran along my legs, up my sides, gripped my backside, and held me closer. A warm mouth moved to my jawline and planted kisses down my neck. Xander pinned me against the side of the pool, his skin hot against mine, even in the water.

I felt his arousal and that excited me further, knowing I did that to him. His mouth found mine, our bodies shifted to line up our hips, and water splashed around us. His fingers dipped under my panties, touching bare flesh. With another rock of his hips, he groaned into my mouth.

The heat in my belly demanded more. Words spilled from my mouth, but I didn’t remember forming them. “Xander, take me to your room.” Before the third word left my lips, we were out of the water; the air conditioner competed with his body heat.

His tongue was my one focus.

We fell onto the bed, sopping wet and neither of us cared. Xander lay on top of me and his hardness throbbed between us. Sliding my bra straps down, he kissed my shoulders. His gentle rocking came faster and firmer. Tingles and tiny explosions occurred at every point of contact. That pooling heat in my core spread from between my thighs, to my skin, and into my blood, igniting a need for him.

His mouth moved down my collarbone, to my scar, and around the top of my bra. I held onto his rock hard biceps and arched into his kisses, pleading for more. His lips and hands were everywhere and it wasn’t enough.

Xander broke his lips away from my skin and gazed at me. “Your soul is incredibly beautiful. I can’t believe you’re mine. My Abby.”

As always, his words touched my heart. “And you’re my angel. My Xander.”

We kissed like we were starved, consumed with each other. Passion overtook over our movements; his tongue swirling along mine, teeth nipping at my bottom lip.

Xander tugged at my bra clasp and my back bowed to give him access. He rocked against me and a moan crawled up my throat and hummed against our lips. The bra gave way and his fingers moved under the cups over my bare breasts that were peaked to his touch. His mouth drifted toward them.

As if a switch flipped inside my body, I panted, my heart raced, and chest tightened. I cursed in my head—it was always much too soon. I wanted to stay like this with him all day. Pain crept in and gripped my heart. He wasn’t stopping. He didn’t know.

Xander’s tongue flicked over my sensitive nipple and his lips captured the tip. His thumb skimmed up my inner thigh in tiny circles that made me shudder. Fingers dipped under the fabric…

I couldn’t fight it any longer. It was too much. My chest constricted and my lungs burned. More than anything, I wanted to keep going. Like acid on my tongue, I breathed out, “Xander, stop.”

Pulling back with a gasp, his hot hand went to my chest and covered me up. When I calmed down, he rested his forehead on my scar. “I’m sorry, Abby. God forgive me. I’m so sorry. I—”

“It’s okay. I’m all right.”

He moved his head along my sternum. “No, it’s not
all
right
,” he growled. I wasn’t sure whom he was upset with just yet.

I smoothed his wet hair down and he stayed there. I didn’t realize how tense he was until he picked me up. Xander carried me into his bathroom, set me down, and turned the shower on. “Ladies first,” he mumbled.

Grabbing his hand, I stopped him from leaving. Xander turned, gave me a tight peck on the lips, and brought my bag in before leaving the bathroom without looking at me.

After my shower, I went to meet him. He had showered in another bathroom and already changed the wet sheets and comforter. I figured we would talk about what happened, but his mood was light now. His gaze collided with mine and he shyly smiled over the mess we made. I took it as a frustrated moment he needed to have and let it go.

The amount of water we dragged into the house was impressive. I dried the floor from the back door to his room with towels, and then collected my clothes from the patio.

“Xander, where are your brother and sisters? Are they okay?”

He explained, “They’re giving us space.”

“How did you manage that?”

He gave me a winning smile. “I told them they were going to give us space.” I laughed and he closed the distance between us. “You hungry? You only had soup today.”

I was. Making a sandwich for myself, he snacked on lunchmeat and chips until I was done.

Xander peeked out at the dark sky and asked me to fly with him. I would never say no. He took off his shirt, unfurled his wings, and wrapped his arms around me so I faced him. His angel light enveloped me, warmed me. I watched his massive wings slowly beat, but we gained elevation at an alarming rate. My hair churned in the breeze he created.

Xander flew us around the mountains near his house; familiar noises of the jets from Luke Air Force Base filled the sky with their night runs. Darting back and forth, Xander kept me safe in his tight grip, twirling us, laughing. Xander paused as though he heard something, and the look in his eye told me to keep quiet. Flying us away from the mountain, he kept us at an unusually high holding pattern. I saw the secretive smile appear before he pushed the side of my head to his chest and used his free hand to cover my exposed ear. A screeching noise tore through the sky and I saw the tail of a fighter jet zooming under us. Xander beat his wings faster to keep us steady.

“Whoa!”

He laughed. “There’s a few more on their way.”

A minute later, three more jets screamed below us with him protecting my ears. “How awesome! Super loud, but awesome!”

He laughed again.

It had been a long day, so he didn’t stay out much longer. Once in the backyard, I headed for the bedroom and changed. This time, I packed a hot pink nightshirt, and while Xander ate, I brushed my teeth.

Soft country songs played from my phone as I lay down and waited for him. He went into the bathroom and came to bed minty fresh. I snuggled against his bare chest, and until that moment, I didn’t realize how tired I was.

Xander kissed me and wished me sweet dreams. I drifted off with him wrapped around me. I was safe and warm, my favorite place to be, right where I belonged, in Xander’s arms.

53

Xander

I wasn’t tired yet. I watched her sleep, tucked against me, and twirled strands of her hair through my fingers. The afternoon ran through my mind. If it could, my heart would have stopped when I looked out the kitchen window at Abby stripping away to the sexy pink bra and panties. The ones I picked out.

If we married before her heart was fixed, I truly didn’t know how I would make love to her. With one touch, hell, one look, I weakened to her. I hated she had to tell me to stop today. Hated that I didn’t know she was in trouble. I should have enough self-control and realize when to stop. She trusted me with her life and I didn’t deserve that gift. I couldn’t put us in that position again until I could control my urges.

Sometime in the middle of the night, she woke me. Abby’s chest heaved, hands twitched, and legs jerked. Her face screwed up and delicate fingers dug into my chest. Her nightmare. Desperate to stop this before she screamed, before he found her, I put my hands to her temples and took her into my thoughts.

Abby’s body relaxed. She smiled and moved as if we were in our white bed. While she dreamed, I laid still with my hands to her temples, mesmerized by her.

Her hands went above her head as though I were holding them. Her body arched up as if I was on top of her, kissing and tasting every inch of her. Her body moved to a gentle rhythm in her nightshirt and it shifted up to expose the smooth skin of her stomach.

With quiet moans, she called out my name, more than once. Luckily, my siblings weren’t home yet or they would think this was real. I should have stopped the dream and pulled away from her, but I wanted her to have what I couldn’t give her now. The throbbing I felt for her was torture and I wished I could share this with her, but she was safe and I was happy to give her this.

In the morning, I woke first and watched her serene face. The scent of butter and syrup drifted between the cracks of my closed door—my siblings cooking breakfast. Abby’s heart beat faster as she stretched out. Peering up at me, she giggled a cute, girly laugh. The sun streamed in and lit her eyes, and a smile brighter than the sun slowed my world down.

Beautiful. My Abby.

Propped up on one elbow, I looked down to her. “My, you are happy this morning. Good dreams?” I loved teasing her, wanting to see if she was too embarrassed to tell the truth.

Her cheeks flushed pink. “Yes.”

“Oh? Any chance I was in it?” Nodding, she threw her head under the covers. Talking to the sheet, I said, “I ask because it seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

She groaned. “Did you do that?”

“Do what?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“Did you make me dream that?” I imagined her eyes were narrowed at me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re going to have to give me specifics. Don’t leave a moment or a single detail out.”

A tiny foot kicked my shin. I yanked the sheet over us and dug my fingers into her sides. “No! Xander, I have to pee!” she giggled out.

“Hurry up and tell me your dream.”

Abby struggled to escape. “It was the white bed with the rose petals!”

I stopped tickling her. “Abby! I’m shocked. What were you doing to me? You moved all over the bed. I thought you were having a seizure or something.” It was hard to hold back my smile.

“I was?” Her eyes widened.

I smirked. “Oh yeah.”

She kicked me again and punched me in the arm. “You did! You are such…such a guy!”

Grabbing her arms, I held them down. Lying on top of her, I kissed her neck and tasted sweet jasmine. Abby relented, wrapped her legs around me, and bowed her back.

I whispered, “You were beautiful, Abby. I wished I could’ve been there with you.”

“It’s not the same for you?”

I looked down into those warm chocolate pools. “No. They’re only thoughts, but real to you.”

“I’m not complaining, but why?”

I brushed my lips along her temple. “You had a nightmare.”

“Oh.” Her face registered understanding. “But you let the dream go on to…ya know.”

“Mmm, I know.” I kissed her neck and up her jawline. That familiar swelling for her returned with a vengeance, and I ached to be inside her and take her now. She thrust her hips forward over my arousal and I saw spots. One night and I had forgotten my resolve. I had to stop this. Running my lips along her jaw, I said, “Come on, little dreamer, you have to pee and I have to take an ice cold shower.”

While Abby did her hair and makeup, I leaned against the counter and watched her. Picking up each item, I studied them. My sisters wore makeup, but I never paid attention to the products. Abby didn’t wear much to cover her natural beauty. She brushed pink on her cheeks as though I had touched her and caused her blush. She then applied a light shade of brown to her lids and lengthened her lashes making her eyes stand out more.

“You don’t need this, you know. Not that I’m complaining. I like this girly stuff.”

With a quirk to her full pink lips, she said, “You would say anything to eat faster.”

“Normally, I would agree with you, but I’m being honest. There isn’t one thing about Abby Miller I don’t find beautiful.”

“I have to keep up appearances. I do roll with angels now.”

Abby’s smile didn’t fade and I knew it was a direct result of our dream. I was only teasing us, but her smile was worth it.

Dressed in a snug pink T-shirt, skinny jeans, and Chucks, a ponytail swung low on her back. Adorable.

Bouncing toward me, those soft lips hit mine. I was right back to imagining removing those clothes and throwing her back into bed. Before I did, I stood up and complained, “I’m starving.”

She giggled. “When aren’t you?”

“The first five minutes after finishing a meal.”

Abby threw me a sideways glance. “Did you work up an appetite with your nocturnal activities?”

Smiling, I wagged my brows. “Mmm.”

Entering the kitchen, we both wore goofy grins. My siblings smiled when they saw us; no doubt, they heard us this morning.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Hannah was on waffle duty.

I grabbed a sausage from Caleb’s pile by the stove. “Did you get it after I called?”

“Yep!” He waved his arms with a flourish. “The demon has been purged.”

Abby asked Caleb, “You found another one? What was the demon doing?”

“He had a thing for gold and used his fists to get the treasure.”

Her mouth widened. “Did he hurt anyone?”

“Yes, but didn’t kill anyone,” Calista added. The sadness in her tone spoke volumes to what they had seen.

“Is it hard to do what you do?”

I made Abby a plate of waffles and sausage; she poured the syrup until it pooled in her plate and I did the same. I said, “The hard part is tracking the demon and isolating them before they jump to another human. Once we do that, no. We cast them back to Hell.”

“How do they get inside a person? Can anyone be possessed?”

Caleb leaned against the counter. “Possibly. A strong will takes too much energy to possess. The demon would have to create doubt in their mind before taking them over. But a weak mind, someone with weak morals, takes far less energy. Demons often use alcohol or drugs to keep the human’s mind weak, to stay longer.”

“And you sense them?” Abby asked him.

“Yes, once they have melded with a human soul. It’s like tiny pin pricks along our spines and wing lines. The more a particular demon hangs around, the easier we can pick up its presence.”

Her brows knitted. “You only cast them back? Why not kill them?”

Caleb shook his head. “Only the Second Choir or higher can destroy a demon by casting its soul to Oblivion.”

Abby took a moment to process this. “How can a human know if someone’s possessed?”

Caleb, who had been eager to answer her questions, became as uncomfortable as the rest of us. Abby was getting close, asking the right questions. We had to be careful. He said, “They won’t act like themselves.”

Abby’s lips formed around the next question.

I interjected, “Calista, are you girls going to the shelter?”

“After this feast.”

Abby looked to my sisters, then me. “Can I go, too?”

My heart swelled to fill my chest. “We should all go. And we can catch a movie before I take you home.”

She nodded. “Sounds good.”

After breakfast, Abby helped me clean the kitchen and we piled into the SUV.

Calista peered to her side. “You look well rested, Abby. Glowing even.”

Abby tensed and spun to look out the window.

Flipping around, I gave Calista a warning look, and she returned with one of mock innocence.