To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) (37 page)

54

Abby

Was it that obvious something happened last night? Suddenly, in a car full of Guardian angels, I felt impure as though my desires were written on my forehead. I wondered if they thought we had sex already.

If that dream was any indication of how it would really be…I wasn’t sure about the whole waiting for marriage thing.

Xander drove downtown to the Mission so we could serve lunch and clean the facility. The enormous tiled kitchen was wall-to-wall worn and dented appliances, the air thick with steam. Wonderful aromas of grilled chicken, vegetables, and fresh bread wafted through the maze toward the dining room.

I almost tripped when I spotted Danielle and Jake near the ovens. I wasn’t comfortable around Jake yet. Actually, around either of them. Danielle wore heels, a miniskirt, and a low cut top with a bright yellow bra straining against her chest. I refrained from rolling my eyes. I had to give her credit. She was here to help.

Caleb took Jake over to the grill and they talked sports, as usual. Danielle, I noticed, didn’t give me the evil eye yet; maybe we were making progress. She and Hannah helped with the side dishes. Xander, Calista, and I served the rest of the food. We put our hats and gloves on to start service.

It surprised me how most of the people didn’t have a look one would expect; more so, they were just down on their luck—this wasn’t what their life should be like. It was hard to see children there—I hadn’t anticipated that. Everyone was happy and appreciative for a plate of food as though I had handed them a pile of cash.

I whispered to Xander, “Jake and Danielle?”

He whispered back, “We’ve been working on their moral structure. Thought they could use help in that department.”

The line of people had thinned and I noticed tables needed cleaning. Taking the paper towels and solution to the dining room, I cleaned off trays and loaded them on the cart. Even though it was a large space, happy chatter, clinking silverware, and scraping chairs filled the room, bouncing off the dingy linoleum floor.

In the back, there was a wake of people avoiding a crying baby. A young mother was trying to give her baby a bottle, but the baby pursed her lips and pushed the bottle away as if it were ground chicken livers. I recognized the desperate look that crossed her features from years of helping Mom and Margaret with the fussy twins.

“May I hold her while you eat?”

Her head snapped up, blinking back tears. “I’m sorry, she’s loud.” She rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Her ear infection is making her fussier than normal.”

Sitting down, I put a hand on her thin shoulder. “It’s okay. Is she taking medications?”

“Yeah, we went to the free clinic yesterday. I have antibiotics for her, but she won’t eat.”

“May I try?”

She sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been trying for over an hour.”

I took the baby from her, a plump girl with porcelain skin, no more than six months old. Clear blue eyes blinked at me with tear tracks lacing her cheeks. Red curls tangled around an askew white bow. She wore a new green dress with socks that looked like ballet slippers. I took the quiet moment and gave her a bottle.

“You have the touch,” the mother said appreciatively.

“I have younger twin sisters.”

While I fed the baby, Natalie ate and told me her story. When she found out she was pregnant, her boyfriend dumped her, and her parents threw her out of the house. She just turned seventeen.

“You’re strong to keep her. Most wouldn’t.” I thought of my own birth mother, how old she was when she gave me up, and all the unknowns that would never be answered.

Natalie scoffed. “Most days I don’t feel strong. I don’t have anywhere to live. I have no money, no job. I feel like I’m failing Angie.” She combed through the baby’s curls.

“No. You love her, that isn’t failing her.”

Natalie finished every morsel on her plate and the baby emptied her bottle. I changed Angie and helped bundle her up in the stroller.

“Do you sleep here?” I asked, glancing around the facility.

She nodded. “I have before. Now I’m staying at the women’s shelter down the street. The ovens were being serviced today. That’s why we’re here.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was one.”

“Yeah, if it wasn’t for them I don’t know where I would be now. They’re taking me to the job fair next week. I’m hoping to get something at a daycare. I love working with children and I could see Angie through the day.”

Looking at her frail frame and ragged clothes, I could tell whatever money she had, she spent on her baby. “I’m sure you will.”

Natalie stopped and turned before leaving with Angie, her eyes glistening. “Thank you. Most people give me dirty looks and make snide comments they don’t think I can hear, or ignore me completely. It means more than you know that you helped.”

I shrugged. “It was nothing. Good luck.” After she left, I finished cleaning.

“Playing mommy?” Well, there went progress.

“Hello to you, too, Danielle.”

“Did you give it up to Xander yet?”

Wow, her comment almost gave me whiplash. “Do you want something, Danielle?”

“Yes, I do. I want to know what he sees in you. He’s a hot guy. He needs to be with a hot girl who gives him what he needs. You aren’t. He eyes me any chance he gets. How much longer do you think he’s gonna hold out for you?”

I tried like hell not to let her see how on point she was. “Maybe he’s looking at you wondering why you look the way you do. Who dresses like this to a homeless shelter?”

“Girls that can.” A manicured finger waved at me. “Obviously, you can’t.”

I watched her and her miniskirt prance toward Xander.

Without waiting to see if Xander did look at her, teeth sunk into my lip, and I walked outside in need of fresh air. She was here for Xander and no one else. All of this was lost on her.

Familiar, strong arms wrapped around me, followed by a cloudy scent, and warm lips kissed my neck. “Don’t, please.”

My lip trembled and that stupid lump grew in my throat. “I don’t know how she does this to me. She knows exactly what to say.”

“She’s insecure, Abby. To make herself feel better, she plays on your insecurities.” He held me tighter. “That was kind of you to help the young mother.”

I shrugged within his cage. “She was tired and hungry. I didn’t do anything.”

“Is that what she said?”

I shook my head against his shoulder. “Well, no. But I only fed the baby.”

“No, you did much more than that. You helped in her moment of weakness. You showed her the kindness of humanity, aiding a total stranger without judgment, only compassion. That meant something to her, just like with Sophie.” Xander turned me and cupped my face. “You do it all the time and selflessly. It’s one of the many reasons I love you, down to your soul. And I’m going to spend my life loving you. One day we will show each other.

“Abby, I don’t want to have sex. I want to make love to you. Danielle doesn’t know the first thing about being in love. She rationalizes emotions into sex. She doesn’t understand what we have, how special it is. I want you to be my wife, I want you to have my children, and I want to build a life with you. This is the face I want to wake up to until my heart gives out.” He kissed me; his words healing a deep chasm of pain that I wasn’t ever sure would go away. “Now, wanna do something really sexy?”

I pinched my brows together.

“Help me wash dishes?” he asked.

Xander dropped me home after the movies and I had dinner with my family. Tired from the day, I readied for bed earlier than normal.

I snuggled under the comforter, glanced up, and froze. I could see my blinds through the open curtain. I flew out of bed and checked the window; it was unlocked.

Downstairs, I found Margaret catching up on her soaps. “Hey, did you open my window recently?” I asked.

She sat up. “No. Everything okay?”

I nodded, sucking in a breath to even my voice. “Yeah, it was unlocked, though.”

She stared at me and didn’t speak.

“Maybe the girls were playing in there?” I offered.

Margaret’s nod was hesitant. “Maybe.” Her voice wavered.

That conversation did nothing to ease my worries. Once upstairs, I texted Xander.

Me:
My curtains were moved and my window was unlocked.

Xander:
Get the house alarm on. Sleep with Bozo.

That was it? Sleep with the dog? Calling Bozo into my room, he jumped on my bed as though he had been waiting for this invitation for years, claiming my bed as his. I slipped under my sheets, a heavy log moved onto my legs, and then the snoring began. This was going to be a long night.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I had my nightmare and screamed loud enough that Bozo jumped off the bed. Turning my side light on, I rubbed my eyes and Bozo shot to the window and whined.

I flipped the light back off, grabbed my cell, and crept out of bed, struggling to control my breaths. I peeled back the curtain and a dark figure perched on the roof opposite me. Panic began to set in and my entire hand vibrated. I jumped before realizing it was my cell.

Xander:
Go back to sleep. Love you.

My smile was instant.

Me:
I’d rather sleep with you than Bozo. Thank you.

Xander:
Me, too, and you’re most welcome.

55

Xander

Five months had passed since I first saw Abby lying in the hospital bed and we had been dating over three months now. Her mind, heart, and soul were incredible. Abby took every opportunity to help others in need, never realizing how many lives she really touched. There wasn’t one thing I didn’t love about her.

Caleb and I took more trips around Arizona while the girls stayed to protect Abby. The demon count was rising—everywhere. Hagath’s threats were on the forefront of our minds.

Jake seemed like he was getting along well with Caleb; we hadn’t sensed any possessions since the day in cooking class. As soon as Cresil regrouped enough energy, he would be back and he would use whomever he could to get to Abby.

My sisters took Abby to the Mission or women’s shelter on the weekends. Hannah and Calista said Abby smiled the entire time and the people fell in love with her. My heart swelled with pride to hear my sisters’ gush over how she cared for others and jumped at any task, even those that got her dirty.

When we could afford a few hours on the weekend, the group would meet at Jake’s house for basketball. It was nice to have human friends; none of us had ever realized before how special these relationships could be, so we never explored it, but each of them had embedded themselves on our hearts. How very foolish we had been…all these years.

Today was Thanksgiving and my brother and sisters were meeting the Millers. Mrs. Miller insisted my family come over since our “father” was still overseas. It was time for everyone to meet anyway—we couldn’t put it off any longer.

The front door opened and I faced the purple shadows around Abby’s eyes. I couldn’t be sure if it was Cresil, but someone had been in her room, and since that night, her nightmares had gotten worse.

One of us held watch at night, each of us took a shift, and her screams bled out of her walls and struck me right in the heart. It actually did bring me comfort Bozo slept with Abby, but nothing we did could take away those nightmares.

Tomorrow, the Wrights were taking Abby camping for a long weekend from school. Abby was apprehensive to go since she had never been camping before, but I was thrilled to have her for three days. Mr. Miller was confident Abby would hate it and he said so with a smirk.

Mr. and Mrs. Miller were delighted to meet my siblings and enjoyed our company. Caleb had the twins’ attention—another big brother to play with. He happily obliged swinging them around, letting them tackle him, and most shocking, he let them touch his hair.

Margaret was quiet, but she relaxed by dinner. I knew this was hard for her. Memories of Anne’s death plagued her, especially with Hannah and me here.

My sisters helped with the dinner preparations while Abby and the twins set the dining room table. Following Mr. Miller into the garage, Caleb and I assessed the drywall damage. Mr. Miller might have fancied himself a Mr. D.I.Y., but he wasn’t getting anywhere with the repairs. After a few hours, we had it fixed. Mr. Miller didn’t mind the work on Thanksgiving, he was just happy to have guy time and something other than ponies and princesses surrounding him.

Coming in from the garage, the twins said Abby was upstairs. I knocked on her door and the quiet key clicks stopped. “One sec.” The laptop closed and the door opened.

“Hi, beautiful, whatcha up to?”

Her hands knotted together. “Um, packing.” She didn’t have any bags out yet.

“No. What are you doing?”

Sitting on the bed, she sighed. “I’m keeping a journal. I thought if I wrote about my nightmares, it could help.”

“Is it?”

Shaking her head, she bit her lip and looked away.

I picked her up and set her in my lap. Pushing away the hair curtained between us, I kissed her forehead. “Let it out, Abby. Don’t hold it in.”

Throwing her arms around me, her tiny body trembled and sniffed into my neck. I held her tighter. Somehow, I reigned back my anger and frustration. This burden was too much for her.

I handed her tissues from the nightstand and she whispered, “Thanks.”

“What are boyfriends for? Drying your tears and checking you out from above the knees to below the neck.”

She smiled, and just as quickly, it fell. “I don’t want to be like this, Xander. I want to be normal.”

I kissed the tear tracks on her soft cheeks. “I want you to be you. The girl I fell in love with.”

“When did you know you loved me?” Peering up at me, she blinked wet lashes.

“I officially became your stalker at the hospital, when you had pneumonia.”

Her eyes widened. “I knew you were there!”

I nodded. “That’s when I first saw this.” My fingers traced over her scar. “But the pool party was where I fell in love with you. I was watching you. You were upset, looking for someone.”

She giggled. “I was looking for you. I saw the back of your head when I was talking to Will. Jake cornered me and I lost you.”

“Your accident was in slow motion. There was the football, Greg, and you in the middle. When I pulled you out of the water, those seconds were eternal. I thought I lost you and would never have my chance to tell you I love you.”

She gave me those eyes. Those dark chocolate eyes that tempted me to stare into for eternity. Ones that told me she wanted me and needed me.

Pulling her flush to me, I kissed her slowly. Since the pool, I was cautious with our practice sessions. The image of her grimacing and gripping my arms, telling me to stop overrode my desires, but that wall crumbled by the day.

Abby’s lips demanded a deeper kiss, dainty hands touched my chest, neck, brushed my scalp, and threaded into my hair. As difficult as it was, I resisted the urge to match her intensity. It was a near impossible task; she felt wonderful in my arms, her lips sweet and delicious. I needed that connection just as much as she did, if not more.

My resolve began to weaken as I heard someone on the stairs. I groaned and drew back. “I think dinner is ready.”