To Kill An Angel (23 page)

When we arrived at the edge of the woods, Lucius, Annika and presumably Devon were standing there talking.  We came to a stop beside them and when Lucius turned toward us, I noticed that he was fading, his eyes that odd milky green.  I turned to Bo and he looked in a similar condition.  I didn’t need to look down at my own body to know that I was fading as well.  I imagined that my eyes looked much the same way, though I’d never observed the strange phenomenon for myself.

“So what’s the plan?  We all going back to Sebastian’s or…?”

“I have an idea,” Annika piped up first thing.  “Devon, since you don’t feed, why don’t you take Ridley back to the house while we hunt?  She doesn’t like to feed on animals I’m told and this might be the quickest and easiest way.”

By tacking that on at the end, Annika ensured that I’d sound like a jealous ninny if I argued, primarily because it did make the most sense.  That only made it rankle all the more, so I said nothing, leaving the decision in Bo’s hands.

“You two go ahead.  I’ll hunt later,” Bo said without hesitation.

“But you’re already fading, Bo.  You need to feed.  Ridley will be fine for a little while.  Besides, you can make sure you feed her when you get back if Cade’s not up to it,” Annika asserted quickly.  “I’m sure she doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable just to babysit her, do you Ridley?”

This was a little more of what I expected from Annika.  Her flirtation with Lucius may have been sincere, but it didn’t change the plans she had for Bo.  That much was clear.

Smiling coyly, I turned to Bo and leaned into his side.

“That might work out even better.  I’d much rather get what I need from you,” I said, injecting as much insinuation as I could without coming right out with a catty
meow.

The black of Bo’s pupils enlarged at my intimation, nearly eclipsing the pale green of his irises.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly, sliding one arm around my waist.

“I’m positive. It will be worth the wait.”

He grinned down at me and, despite my original impetus for being so blatantly suggestive, I melted just like I always did when we shared a moment.  Immediately, I felt guilty for letting Annika get under my skin, for letting her trick me into using the incredible magic Bo and I shared for such a petty reason.

“Alright then,” Bo agreed, squeezing my side.  “Devon, make sure Cade stays away from her, will you?”

Insulted, I started to object.

“I’m perfectly capable—”

“It’s not that you’re not capable, it’s just that you’re hungry.  It’s so easy to get out of control, especially around humans.  Cade might try to use that to his advantage.  That’s all I’m saying.”

I nodded, appeased but still feeling a little rubbed by his dismissive attitude.  Bo must have sensed my irritation because he bent and whispered into my ear.

“I don’t want anyone satisfying your hunger but me.”

A light dusting of chills arose on my arms and my stomach flipped over.  I refrained from telling him that
that
was an impossibility.  He was all I ever wanted, my thirst for him the only one that was truly insatiable.

He saved me from having to say anything when he brushed his lips across my cheek and told me he’d see me soon and to be careful.

Devon and I struck out in one direction, Bo’s trio in another.  They were heading back into the woods.  Devon and I were heading to Sebastian’s.

We hadn’t gone very far when a thought occurred to me.

“Maybe you should swing by Savannah’s before you come to Sebastian’s.”

“What about you?”

“I would come with you, but I’m afraid that, in this state, I might hurt her.  I haven’t mastered the whole control thing yet.”

“But Bo wanted—”

My snort interrupted him. 

“I’ll be fine.  There’s nothing for you or Bo to worry about.  He’s just a little jealous of the new guy.  That’s all,” I assured him with a roll of my eyes.  “Seriously, go by there and let her know you’re alright and then come to Sebastian’s.  I gave you directions, right?”

“Yeah, you did, but I don’t know about this, Ridley.”

“Devon, it’ll be fine.  Just tell Savannah I’ll see her tomorrow, after I…you know.”

Devon hesitated, but it didn’t take long for his desire to see Savannah to win out over any reservations he had.  He soon agreed and we parted ways.

I let my mind wander the rest of the way to Sebastian’s house.  I thought of Devon and Savannah, of Bo and of love.  I kept my thoughts focused on anything other than the building thirst that was gathering like a vicious storm in my throat and chest.

As I approached the front door, the ever-so-slight smell of human blood—Cade’s blood—tickled my nose.  It was just a hint of sweetness in the air, but it seemed that all my senses zeroed in on it instantly, ravenous as I was.  I knew he was probably asleep in one of the bedrooms upstairs.  All I had to do was make it inside and get behind the locked door of my bedroom. 

With my hand on the knob, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, careful to pull it in through my mouth.  I held it, counted to ten and then rushed through the front door.  As quietly as I could, I closed it behind me and ran back to my room as fast as my legs would carry me.

Once I was in the sanctuary of my temporary bedroom, I turned the lock on the knob and leaned back against the cool wood of the door.  I was still holding my breath, determined to resist the demands of my wayward body.  I thought of Mr. Hearst and of Bo’s last words until I felt like the burning wasn’t going to consume my entire being.  Only then did I feel it was safe to move away from the door.

With nothing but time on my hands, I wandered about the room, taking in the details of the furniture, the pictures on the walls, the draperies that covered no windows.  I was in the back corner, the one furthest from the door, when a light knock brought my attention back to the present, back to my struggles.

I turned toward the sound and was immediately slapped with the scrumptious scent of blood, familiar blood—Cade’s blood.  I shrank back into the corner and slid to the floor, pushing with my legs until my back was plastered into the V of the wall.  If I could’ve melted into the wood paneling, I would have, anything to get further away from that tantalizing smell.

“Ridley, you need me,” Cade said quietly from the hallway.  “I can feel it.  Let me in.”

Volcanic flames seared my throat and threatened to burn away all reason and willpower.

“Mr. Hearst.  Mr. Hearst,” I whispered aloud, closing my eyes and bringing the odious little man to mind.

“There’s no reason for you to resist me, Ridley.  You need me and
Bo
needs
you.
  You’re helping us all when you drink from me.”

I began to hum to myself, trying desperately to drown out his voice, his perfectly legitimate reasoning and the excruciating thirst that rode me like a cowboy rides a prize bull.

“Go away,” I pushed out through my tightly gritted teeth.

“Why?  Ridley, you won’t hurt me and you need to feed.  There’s nothing wrong with giving in to me.”

“Go away!” I shouted more forcefully.

The image of Mr. Hearst began to fade, eclipsed by a fiery red haze that was my need, my most basic urge to nourish my body.  The smell of Cade’s blood permeated the air, as if it was oozing through the door, through the walls, to envelope me in a painful cloud of want.

My breathing picked up, my heart raced, my mind flitted between rational thought and the desire to sink my teeth into Cade’s tender flesh, and all the while I struggled to regain some sense of control.

Desperately, I reached out and grabbed the last thought, the last memory that might give me the strength that I needed to resist, the resolve that I needed to fight.  It was the remembered feel of being pressed to Bo’s side, his arm wrapped around my waist, his lips at my ear, and his words. 

I don’t want anyone satisfying your hunger but me.

Over and over, I let the images, the feelings, the words replay through my mind like a record skipping back to the same spot again and again.  My love and devotion to Bo flooded in like high tide, filling my heart and my mind, soothing the agony that I felt in my throat.  My thirst and the pain that went with it wasn’t completely eradicated, but for the first time since awakening to a world dominated by bloodlust, I felt like I had a modicum of control.

Slowly, back still pressed into the corner, I pushed myself to my feet and stood, bravely facing the door and the delicious feast that lay just beyond it.

“Cade, go back to bed.  I’ll see you in the morning,” I said with a surprising amount of authority and indifference.

“But you—”

“Cade, go!  I’ll see you in the morning,” I repeated insistently.

I heard him sigh and then take two steps before stopping again. I imagined that he turned back toward the door in indecision.

“Go,” I called, hoping to help him make the right choice.

Another sigh was followed by his receding footsteps.  The further he got from the door, the easier I breathed.  When I heard the squeak of springs in a room above my head, I relaxed and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

It was in that position—sitting on the end of the bed, marveling at my control and at the anchor that Bo represented in my struggles, in my life—that Bo found me.  I was so distracted that I didn’t smell his tangy scent until he was already standing in the doorway watching me.

Slowly, he stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind him.  I stood to my feet, but made no move to approach him. 

He was fully visible again, as was the dark of his eyes, eyes that were filled with a desire that instantly set my blood on fire.  It stirred a passion in me that rivaled his, mirrored it even.  It threatened to consume me, but before it could, Bo crossed the room and took me in his arms.

Bo fed me, satisfying my hunger like he’d promised that he would.  Secretly, I kept hoping that we would get another glimpse of our life together, a life I couldn’t be sure we’d ever have.  I found myself holding onto the images of Bo making love to me someday, out there in an inconceivable future.  I squeezed it tight between my fingers and held it close to my chest, desperately afraid I’d never see that day. 

As we lay recovering in each other’s arms, I realized that the tiny peek I’d already been given might be the only one I’d ever get, real or imagined.  But a smile tugged at my lips despite the little seed of hopelessness that was still buried deep inside me.  If I never got to have Bo in that way, never got to experience what loving him without all these other circumstances would be like, I’d always have that one moment in time.  It was as real to me as if it had actually happened and no one could take that from me.  No one.

“How do you feel?” Bo said, pressing his lips to my temple.

“Perfect.”

“You are perfect,” he whispered against my hair.

I smiled again.  He always knew just what to say.

“How about you?”

“As long as you’re in my arms, I’ve got no complaints.”

Unbidden, an image of Annika flitted through my mind.  It aggravated me that she was able to ruin such an intimate moment even when she wasn’t in the room. 

Reluctantly, I pushed myself up onto one elbow, staring down into Bo’s handsome face.

“I guess now I can drink from Cade without having to worry about killing him,” I teased, only partially in jest.  That would always be a very real concern for me.