To Light and Guard (16 page)

C
HAPTER 33

             
I fell out of the sky face down.  It was a bit like sky diving, but without a parachute. 
Hold on.  Let me get back to you on that.
  I touched my back and sighed.  Yes, unfortunately, I was right.  I definitely do not have a parachute.  That would be because I didn’t jump out of the plane; it was more like I was shoved out of the library.

During my
free fall, my emotions finally kicked in. 
What perfect timing, right?
  I hurtled downward into the earth - faster than gravity – and I now felt pure terror.  My fear was mighty, it was strong, and it tingled all through me.  So, I did what any normal dead girl would do in this situation. I screamed, and believe me, it was loud enough to wake up the dead.

             
The sun was rising.  It was morning. From the sky, I saw my country...

M
y state…

M
y city…

M
y street…

M
y house…

Still screaming, I realized that I was
going to crash into the roof of my house. 
Can the dead die?
  (Let me get back to you on that one.)

I was going to crash
land in 5…4…I closed my eyes…3…2… my arms automatically went up to shield my face… and ahhhh 1. 
Aaargh!!!.

             
I hit something, but I didn’t go splat.  It wasn’t even painful, more like a strong gust of wind.

Then
poof, just like magic, I was undead again. 

Again.
 

C
HAPTER 34

The first thing I felt was the strong beat of my heart.  It was so loud that I could
almost physically hear it. I savored the feeling.  Keeping my eyes closed, I concentrated on the beat. Tha-thump.  Tha-thump.  Tha-thump.  I knew exactly where I was. I was back in Paige Harper’s body. I am back as Paige Harper.
Thank you, thank you, dead girl
. 

I was still freaked out with my death/near-death experience, but I was so happy to be back that there were actual tears of happiness in my eyes.
I’m home.

             
Through the haze, I heard Emma’s piercing screams. My eyes popped open, and I looked at Emma’s face.  I was lying on the kitchen floor, and Emma was holding a rag on my left wrist.

“Emma, I’m okay,” I said
, pushing myself up into a seated position.  “I’m okay.” I pulled my left arm from her grasp, and looked at my wrist.  “See,” I said, showing her my wrist. “I’m not bleeding.” 

I think I got through to her because she stopped screaming. 
Unfortunately, I had a really ugly scab now forming on my left wrist, but it was still better than bleeding.  I don’t know how I know this little fact, but I was only dead for five seconds.
It seemed longer though, right?

Then
, I heard footsteps running towards us.  That’s how my parents found us.  I was still on the floor, with a shocked Emma staring at me, and here’s the best part - there was blood on me and all over the kitchen floor.

I groaned.  There was no getting out of this one. 
I am most definitely busted.    “A demon killed me,” I said quickly before anyone can get a word in.  Of course, no one was really talking.  I think they were all in shock.  All of the blood on the floor was a bit hard to take in.  “I mean, tried to kill me… A demon
tried
to kill me,” I explained.  Yes, that sounded so much better.

My mom dropped to her knees next to me, and pulled me
into her arms. She was shaking. “Oh, Mom,” I said. “I’m okay now.”  I was all choked up with emotion. I really missed her.  Actually, I missed everyone.  I never thought I’d ever see any of them again. 

I looked around, but I didn’t see my Guardian. 
Where was Luke?  Why is he not here?
I wanted to talk to him more than ever.  I’m sure he heard Emma’s screams, and I’m sure he was worried about me.

My Dad’s shocked face made me want to confess. I think this is the first time in my life that I’ve ever seen him stunned into silence.
Since I was in truth-telling mode, and I had just admitted to seeing a demon, I finally told them the truth.  “Actually, I can see my guardian angel.  That’s how this whole thing started. Then, a demon came after me,” I said.  That’s about it really - in a nut shell.

My mom was still hugging me, and o
ver her shoulder, I looked at Emma.  She was still terrified with her eyes all bugged out.  I tried smiling for her benefit, but the effort was wasted. I couldn’t even fake a smile.  

“I’m okay,” I said
, staring at Emma. Her shoulders slumped, and her whole expression changed.  She had a worried look on her face, and she looked much older. 
Great. 
Apparently, I now had the power to age people.

“I believe you,” Emma said softly.

Good girl.
I knew she would.  We had a history together - her and I - and we had a bond like no other.  We really are sisters forever – literally.

  “I believe you, too,” Mom said as she
finally let go of me.  She sat on the floor next to me and held my hand.

Now
, that was a surprise. I mean, why would she believe me with such a crazy story?  I sure wouldn’t. Buffy sat right in front of me, and I could tell that she didn't really care what happened to me as long as I was still breathing; she's very simple like that. I looked at Dad with hope. He was the last member of my awesome family that needed to get on-board. 

Dad
shook his head.  He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and rubbed     his forehead.  Finally, he sighed. “I think we all need to see a psychiatrist,” he said.

I glared at him. 
My Mom and Emma glared at him, too
.  Fine. If that’s what he really wanted.

“Me first
,” I said.

I got up.  I felt a little woozy, but I managed to get on my feet.  “I need to take a shower,” I said.  So, the psychiatrist will definitely have to wait. I was still wearing the same clothes I died in, and there was the blood on the floor to clean up.  The three of them kept looking at me as I walked away.  I smiled.  I am so happy right now.  I love all of them so much. I really am home.

Mom and Dad left me alone after that, at least, for a little while.  Even Buffy stayed in the kitchen. Emma, however, was something else entirely. Walking away from her didn’t mean a thing.  She followed me all the way back to my bathroom and watched me as I washed the blood off of my hands.  Then, she followed me to my bedroom and watched me as I took some clean clothes from a drawer.   She was like my shadow.

             
“Excuse me,” I said, walking back to the bathroom.  Seriously, I needed to take a shower, but I also had to be a little patient with Emma for a while.  I'm pretty sure that she suffered some trauma because of this.  “Can I have a little privacy please?” I asked.

“You want to say something to me?”
she asked, all confrontational-like, and her arms were crossed against her chest.  I knew she wasn’t talking about the cut on my wrist anymore.  She was talking about something much, much deeper. 

             
I sighed.  I knew it can’t be this easy. “Not yet,” I said.

“Paige, you died.”
 

My eyes widened.  I didn’t know she knew about that.  She nev
er said anything earlier. As far as conversations go, this was probably the most serious we've ever had.

“I know
,” I said slowly, “but how do you know that?”

“Umm…maybe because you weren’t breathing
… or maybe because you had no pulse… or maybe because you were DEAD.”  Emma glared at me.  She leaned on the sink, getting comfortable. 

“
Emma, let me talk to you about this later, okay?  I’m still trying to figure out what happened, and my whole body is still buzzing with adrenaline.” This is true.  I feel like I should be bouncing off the walls right now. Being ejected from the Library kind of had that effect, I guess.  

“You made it to
the
Library, didn’t you?”

I
stared at her in shock, blinking rapidly several times. I was cornered in the bathroom, and she was waiting for a response. I suppose I owed her that much for what she witnessed today.

“Yes,” I said
a little bit confused.  “You remember
the
Library?”

She nodded
.  “Some of it.”

“W
hy didn’t you tell me?  This is really important stuff, and you decide to keep it to yourself?” Even as I said it, I felt bad.  If anyone kept anything to herself, it was me.  In the last few months, I had become the master of secrets.

“I kept trying, but you never really listened
.  I get these memories somehow… when I’m drunk, you know, but only when I’m drunk.  It’s all hazy, but they’re my memories. I just couldn’t piece it together.  How did we get to the Library in the first place?  Do you know?”

“We died.”

“I know that part, but how?”

I paused
, debating on whether I should tell my sister anything more. Emma was looking at me as if she wasn’t letting this go. 

“We were burned at the stake for being witches
many, many years ago… like a thousand years ago,” I said reluctantly.  I was going to stop there.  The rest she can remember on her own, and maybe she’ll be safer… and happier.  The memory was quite traumatic.  Even I didn’t want to remember
that
past. 

Emma’s eyes widened.  “Really?” she said excitedly.  “Were we
really witches?”

“
No.  But they killed us, anyway. It was a large mob of stupid villagers.  They had pitch forks, torches, and everything… and they smelled really bad.”

She was silent for a while
, thinking about the possibility. 
Yes, I thought about it, too.  Witches had powers.  It would be really cool to have powers.

“
We were not witches back then, and we are not witches now,” I said. “We don’t have any powers, okay?  Now, can I please take a shower?”

“
Killjoy,” Emma said. She was silent for a minute.  “Another thing I can’t figure out.  How did you end up being the older sister?  I don’t think I would have
ever
agreed to that.”

I shook my head.  This again.  I don’t know why Emma
just can’t let it go. I was born first a thousand years ago, and I was born first eighteen years ago. Big deal.

“I
think I died first,” I said.

“
Still doesn’t seem fair. I think it would’ve been better if I were the older sister,” she muttered.

Maybe next time
around. 

Emma took another long look at me, and then she
walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her. 
Oh, thank God. 
I wasn’t ready to talk to her about angels and demons - at least, not until I speak to Luke.  I wasn’t lying when I told her that I needed to figure out what happened.  Currently, it was on the top of my ‘to do’ list.

As far as Emma was concerned, i
t was enough for me to know that we made it back together, back as sisters again, because that was how it was meant to be. 

C
HAPTER 35

Still wearing my bloody clothes, I turned the shower on.  I waited a few minutes. Then, I opened the bathroom door, peeking out.  When I didn’t see anyone in the hallway, I quickly snuck out of the bathroom.  Quietly, I tiptoed down the stairs, and snuck out of the back door.  I could hear my parents in the kitchen.  I think they were cleaning the blood from the kitchen floor.  I really should help them, but I have more important things to do right now.

It was
early morning, and the sun was rising.  I saw Luke lying on the ground, facing the sky, his eyes closed.  Joshua was kneeling next to him.

             
“Luke,” I said as I ran towards him.  He didn’t move. 
Why didn’t he move?
  

             
I crouched next to him and saw a gaping wound on his chest. His blood was everywhere. I touched his chest and felt his warmth… his blood. Stunned, I looked at Joshua.  “What’s wrong with him? Heal him,” I said. 

“I can
not,” he said. “It is… too late.” 

I saw the anguish in
Joshua’s face, and I believed him. His face said it all.  It
was
too late.  I closed my eyes, and my eyes watered. Luke wasn’t coming back. He was gone… He was dead.
How is this even possible? I was led to believe that angels didn’t die.

I
leaned forward, and I clutched his hand to my heart. I cried.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  Every time I thought of the future, even the worst case scenario didn’t come close to this.  I never thought that Luke would ever die.  Angels had the power to heal, and he had lived for more than four hundred thousand years.
Why did he have to die now?
I just made it back, and he was supposed to be here… waiting for me… alive.

             
“How did
he…
die?” I asked, my voice cracking. 

             
“I’m not sure,” Joshua said.  “But I’ve seen something like this before.  I think he died by choice. He chose not to heal.” 

             
Because he thought I was dead.
It was the only thing that made sense.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hands.  I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. 

“
I love you, Luke… now and forever,” I whispered in his ear.  Maybe he can still hear me.

“P
AIGE,” my sister yelled from behind me. “What are you doing out there?”

             
I looked over my shoulder and saw Emma standing by the back door with one hand holding the knob.  Judging from the sound of her voice, I could tell that she was really annoyed. 

             
“Go on,” Joshua said.  “I will watch him until the angels come for him.”  His lips curled up. “The angels - they are always busy, and they are always late.” 

Joshua’s eyes were grim, and t
here was such bitterness in his voice. We both lost someone today… and many years before, he lost someone more important to him - my sister.  I understood his pain.  It’s like someone was stabbing you in the chest over and over again. I wish I could spare him some of that.

             
“PAIGE,” Emma yelled again.  This time, her voice was louder, more insistent.  

I stood
up.  I glanced at Luke one last time, memorizing his face.  Even in death, he was still so handsome.  With his eyes closed, I could almost pretend that he was still alive.  Unfortunately, pretending was something children do, and grown-ups faced reality.   

I turned around
and faced the house.  I faced my sister, and I walked towards her. 

“My sister, Emma,” I whispered,
“she’s Elizabeth – your Elizabeth.”  I said it very softly that a human wouldn’t have heard, but I’m sure Joshua heard me.  I just didn’t know what he was going to do about it.  I hope nothing, really.  All I wanted was to give him some comfort; knowing that his Elizabeth was somehow still alive must alleviate some of his pain.

Reaching the back door, I knew my sister was going to say something
I didn’t want to hear.  I expected an accusation or a sarcastic remark, but Emma must have seen something in my face – something tragic – because her face quickly crumpled.  “Oh, Paige,” she said, reaching for me.  She wrapped her arms around me in a big, bear hug, and I cried on her shoulder. 

That’s another thing
you probably didn’t know about my little sister.  She has a really good shoulder for me to cry on.

              Later that evening, I went to the backyard again.  Maybe I was just hoping to see Luke one last time, but there was no one there.  Luke’s body was gone.  The angels must have taken him just as Joshua had predicted. 

Never having been an angel, I couldn’t say what it’s like to be one, but I think that the same human emotions drive them:  hate, jealousy, love.  This is the reason why even as immortals, their weaknesses can still kill them.  Luke was killed by demons, but I’m pretty sure that he really died because of me. 

             
I stared at the spot where his body was this morning and saw a single, perfect, white feather on the grass.  It was my only reminder of Luke and what we had together. I picked up the feather. “Luke, if you can hear me now, please come back to me. I
need
you to come back to me,” I said. I have been to
the
Library.  Anything was possible.

I walked towards our tree on the backyard.  I carved his name on it with a knife.  Luke.  I needed a memorial of sorts, and the tree was as good as any.  I didn't have a grave to visit since the angels took his body away. This will have to do until he comes back for me.

Luke always said that he will find me wherever I go.  He found me twice already, and I’m hoping that he will come and find me once more. In the meantime, I will live my life the best I could, one painful day at a time, but first, I had to see a psychiatrist – a really good one.