To Please the Doctor (21 page)

Jill returned to her office in thoughtful mood. What a mess-up, what a ridiculous predicament to find herself in, all through the action of a thoughtless girl who hadn
’
t even
managed to derive any benefit herself. She sank down gratefully into a chair and stared unseeingly through the window at the lawn white-tipped with frost, like the scene on a Christmas card—the thought only increased Jill
’
s melancholy. She
’
d be at St. Joseph
’
s over Christmas—she must be, and regardless of the ache at her heart, join wholeheartedly in the festive spirit around her ... And after Christmas—what then?

CHAPTER TWELVE

“
Well, now
I
think
that is about all.
”
Matron smiled brightly at the small group of Sisters and Nurses gathered in her room, then folded her notes on the table.
“
The staff dance will be, as usual, New Year
’
s Eve, and we
’
ll have the dining hall cleared for it as before.
”
She looked round enquiringly.
“
Now has anyone any questions to ask me?
”

“
I
’
ve got about twenty volunteers for carols. Do you think that will be enough?
”
one of the Sisters from the Adult Section asked.

“
I should imagine so.
”
Matron gave the matter some consideration.
“
I don
’
t believe we had any more last year, and they managed to produce an adequate volume of sound!
”

There was a general titter among the gathering at her remark, then Brenda
Malling
spoke.
“
Could we have our Christmas trees in good time, please, Matron? It was such a rush last year, and the children love to ha
v
e them on the ward even before they are decorated.
”

“
Yes, Nurse, I
’
ll see to that
”
She made a note of the paper before her, then looking up again she addressed her remark to Jill and to the Sister from the Children
’
s Surgical Section.
“
I
’
ve allocated money from the
Christmas
fund for the tree decorations, the old ones seemed so shabby. I
’
m sure you
’
ll both make it stretch as far as possible. I trust, too, that you found a nice selection of toys in the hampers for distribution.
”

Brenda, sitting next to Jill, nudged her meaningly, then whispered in conspiratorial tones:
“
Tell her they were awful, scarcely enough decent things to go round.
”

“
Did you say anything, Nurse
Malling
?
”
Matron turned her keen gaze in Brenda
’
s direction.

“
No, Matron. ... I was just telling Sister Fernley that I thought we
’
d manage nicely with the toys,
”
she explained unperturbedly.

“
Then that really is all.
”
Matron rose to her feet with an air of dismissal, but paused before adding,
“
This
might
be a good opportunity of telling Sister Fernley how sorry we all are to lose her, after such a short time, too. Still, we are very glad she will be spending Christmas with us and will be here for our annual dance. It only remains for us to wish her very good luck in the future.
”
There was an undercurrent of meaning in the smile she turned on Jill.

Her words met with a chorus of approval which followed Jill as, murmuring her appreciation, she edged her way unobtrusively towards the door. It hadn
’
t taken long for the news of her impending departure to become public knowledge. Several of the staff had already mentioned it to her, and she had on each occasion done her best to avoid any prolonged discussion. It wasn
’
t easy to answer questions. She couldn
’
t tell the whole truth, and it wasn
’
t in her nature to tell a direct lie. In general, they all believed her impending marriage to be the reason, and Jill knew how much they must have resented her air of secrecy. A coming wedding was always such a romantic piece of news in hospital, and Jill felt sure that her evasive manner must be causing adverse comment among the staff.

It was only two days since Harriet
’
s disclosure about the letter, but even in that brief space of time Jill had managed to resign herself to the inevitable, and the first shock over, she had with calm deliberation faced whatever the future might hold. Her fear of revealing the love which Duncan McRey had unwittingly inspired was a constant source of anxiety, and she was glad of the short respite which Fate had granted her, since by some lucky chance Harriet had deputized for him on his ward round on Monday, and on the Tuesday he had been, as usual, in London. To-day she knew she would have to face him, behave naturally and impersonally, and conceal from those searching eyes the emotions he had roused within her.

Jill swung her scarlet-lined cloak round her shoulders as she emerged from the warm atmosphere of the main building into the cold air. Pale afternoon sunshine caused the frosted grass and trees to glisten with the sparkle of diamonds, while beyond the diff edge the sea stretched towards a misty horizon. She folded her arms closely under her cape as she hastened past the scattered buildings towards her own quarters, her face lowered against the cold, her thoughts on the coming meeting.

“
Sister! Come over here a moment.
”

Jill stopped still at the summons and with quickened heart-beats turned in the direction of the call. Since early morning she had been steeling herself to this encounter, picturing a million times that moment when she must face Duncan McRey, and now he had appeared without warning! Fighting back the weakness w
hi
ch threatened to engulf her, she walked firmly towards his advancing figure.
“
You want me, sir.
”

“
Yes, come with me. I
’
ve something to show you.
”

Curiosity completely submerged any othe
r
emotion, and falling into step beside him Jill looked up questioningly at her companion.
“
Where are you taking me?
”

“
Just round to the main drive,
”
he answered, as he strode forward towards the stone steps flanking the entrance, at the foot of which was parked a modern, streamlined car.
“
Well, what do you think of it?
”
The unmistakable pride of possession was in his tone.

“
It
’
s a lovely car, and you mean that it
’
s actually
yours?
”

“
Harriet came to town with me yesterday. We did the deal and drove it back.
”

Jill was aware of a stab of disappointment at the mention of Harriet
’
s name. If it was jealousy she did not recognize it as such.
“
I think you both showed excellent taste!
”
Duncan McRey opened the doors to show off the upholstered interior, demonstrated the innumerable gadgets, then satisfied with Jill
’
s obvious approval, walked back with her across the forecourt.

“
There was another personal matter I wanted to discuss with you,
”
he stated briefly.
“
I spoke to Dr. Sharland on the phone this morning. He is completely satisfied with Terry
’
s progress. The temperature has settled, and in a few days he
’
ll be up and about again
.
Sir Trevor had a word with me too. He is anxious to know whether they should keep to their original plan to go to the South of France next week. Apparently your mother is doubtful whether the child ought to be left. I told him I saw no reason why they shouldn
’
t go as arranged. As far as Terry is concerned, there ought to be nothing to worry about.
”

“
I am so glad! I shall never be able to thank you enough for all you
’
ve done
...
”
Jill broke off at, a loss for adequate words to express her gratitude.

“
A breath of sea air might do Terry good. No doubt it could be arranged for him to get away somewhere with his Nurse. I have promised to go down next Sunday. Sir Trevor is most anxious that I should see the child once more. It
’
s not really necessary, but apparently your mother would go away with an easier mind. I shall discuss the question of getting Terry to the sea when I see them.
”

“
Yes, do. I
’
m sure they will agree to anything you say.
”
Jill paused as they reached the entrance to the Children
’
s Annexe.
“
I wish I could get over for the day myself
...” T
he moment Jill had spoken she regretted her words. They sounded too much like a hint, yet how wonderful it would be if he did ask her to accompany him, and to be able to enjoy again the sweet intimacy of his companionship, so much more precious now she had learned its true value.

Duncan McRey
’
s next remark showed clearly that such an idea had not entered his head.
“
I
’
m due in
‘
Out
-
patients
’
now. I
’
ll be over for my ward round as soon as I can.
”
Jill removed her cloak and hung it carefully on the peg behind her door, then crossing to her office window she watched the physician retrace his steps to the Out-patients
’
Department. Head forward and hands dug deep in his pockets, he walked with easy strides, the wintry sun glinting on his uncovered head. She choked back a sigh, perhaps after all Fate had been generous in forcing her hand. It might in the end be easier to make a complete break rather
than
go on as things were, in daily contact with this man, yet never daring to show the true depth of her feelings.

Jill turned abruptly from the window as a light tap on her door preceded Harriet
’
s entrance. With a nod and smile at Jill she seated herself on the edge of the desk.
“
I
’
m a bit early, so I thought we
’
d have a few moments to chat before Duncan turns up. You
’
ve just come from Matron
’
s meeting, haven
’
t you? How did it go?
”

“
Oh, quite well.
”
Jill seated herself at her desk.
“
Matron is a marvellous organizer. There hasn
’
t been nearly so much argument and squabbling about the festivities as there always was at Baldwin
’
s; planning the Christmas entertainments was a positive nightmare there!
”

“
I know ... I remember from my own student days! But I didn
’
t come here to discuss Christmas. I want to ask you something else. Do you think Lady Hallard would mind
if I looked in to see them on Sunday? I
’
ve never met Sir Trevor or Terry either, and I thought I
’
d run over with Duncan when he goes—that is, if you don
’
t think she
’
d mind.
”

“
Of course she won
’
t mind, she
’
d be delighted.
”
Jill spoke with sincerity, trying to keep any hint of resentment from her voice. Everything was so easy for Harriet, from the beginning she had been able to meet Duncan McRey on his own level, while her own position of inferiority had inevitably been a barrier to any closer relationship. Harriet had no doubt suggested accompanying him without any sense of presumption, whereas she
...
Jill bit her lips in an effort to fight back that sense of frustration, and forcing a smile went on speaking.
“
You
’
ll adore Terry ... Of course, he won
’
t be at his brightest yet, but Dr. McRey says he is well on the way to recovery, and even spoke of getting him away with Nana to the sea. He
’
ll love that, he is always so lonely at Brent Towers when mother is away.
”
She knew she was talking at random, but the sound of her own voice seemed to steady her.

“
It
’
s rather a shame; to leave him at Christmas, isn
’
t it?
”

“
Of course it is, but mother is such a creature of habit. She has always spent every winter in Cannes, and I still remember how much a regular routine it used to be. I
’
m afraid I shan
’
t be able to cheer Terry up this year. It
’
s a hopelessly cross-country journey—I can
’
t even
imagine
doing it in a day. It
’
s the first time since I started nursing that I really mind being tied to duty.
”

“
Yes, I understand how you feel.
”
Harriet spoke sympathetically, then with an abrupt change of subject qu
e
ried,
“
Have you seen D
u
ncan
’
s new car?
”

“
Yes, I have!
”
Jill responded with a laugh.
“
I don
’
t know how you persuaded him to take the plunge, but I certainly think it was an achievement!
”

“
I felt elated about it myself,
”
Harriet agreed.
“
I couldn
’
t stand being shaken about in that old rattle trap of his any longer, so I decided it was time to be
firm
.
As a matter of fact, if was much easier than I expected. He let me lead him to it like a lamb to the slaughter
,
and driving back he was as pleased as
p
unch: kept putting the thing through its paces until I was so frightened I began to wish I hadn
’
t interfered! We did well over sixty most
of the way, and I still don
’
t know which suffered more damage, his engine or my nerves!
”

Jill joined in Harriet
’
s laughter. She could well imagine Duncan McRey at the wheel intent on getting the best out of the car, regardless of the ultimate effect on a new engine.
“
I
’
m sorry for you, it must have been a hazardous journey, but perhaps he
’
ll have recovered from his enthusiasm by Sunday.
”

“
I sincerely hope so.
”
Harriet spoke fervently, then looked searchingly at her companion.
“
Tell me, how are you making out with
’
the
Malling
girl? Did she explain what happened about that letter? I still can
’
t get used to the idea of your leaving. I think it
’
s absurd that you should just sit back and do nothing. Why should you leave if you don
’
t want to?
”

“
I saw Matron first thing Monday. I couldn
’
t bring myself to say anything, how could I? It
’
s far easier to let things be. As for Brenda, well, we had it out and the whole thing was a stupid misunderstanding, and that
’
s all there is to it.
”

It was obvious from Jill
’
s tone that she had no wish to prolong the discussion, but Harriet was not to be deterred.
“
She didn
’
t do it intentionally, did she?
”

“
Yes, in a way I suppose she did, but we
’
ve come to a mutual agreement now, and decided to let sleeping dogs lie.
”
Jill paused, then realizing that her friend was far from satisfied with her explanation, continued,
“
The girl had some silly idea that I was the one obstacle in the path of her own promotion. Apparently she isn
’
t to have my post after all; that seems to me to be a just retribution. I
think
it best to let the matter rest there,
”
she ended on a note of finality.

“
It sounds most unsatisfactory. You take things far too calmly; it
’
s no affair of mine, but why you should allow yourself to be browbeaten into leaving, I can
’
t imagine.
”

“
I minded a lot at first,
”
Jill spoke quietly, obviously debating her words and barely conscious of her listener.
“
But now I
’
ve come to see things differently
.
I think
...
yes, I think that perhaps I should prefer to return to London.
”

“
Of course, if that
’
s the case
...
”
Harriet glanced curiously at her companion, then went on in a lighter tone,
“Y
ou know best; after all, it
’
s your affair.
”
As an afterthought she added:
“
I suppose there isn
’
t any truth in the rumour that you are leaving to get married? I haven
’
t denied it, but
knowing that you
’
d never intended to leave at all,
it hardly seems plausible.
”

“It’s an easy excuse which
I
’
ve neither admitted nor
denied,
”
Jill explained.
“
Only you and, of course, Dr. M
cR
ey and Brenda, know the truth of my resignation, and I didn
’
t thi
n
k either of you were likely to say anything, so I just let things pass.
”
Jill rose to her feet.
“
It
’
s nearly
three, Dr. McRey
should be here any moment now.
”

“
Yes,
”
Harriet slid her feet to the ground.
“
By the way to revert to work
...
Duncan thinks Mary Miles could be discharged before Christmas.
”

“
Mary Miles? She is much better and has been getting up for the last few days, but there was some question of her home conditions: her mother works in a restaurant or something.
”

“
Yes, I know. Duncan was quite adamant that the child shouldn
’
t spend hours in a steamy kitchen, but he has got that matter under control. Apparently he is taking on Mrs. Miles as housekeeper; he has fixed up a large, airy room for the child, and there is a marvellous garden.
”
Harriet gave her deep laugh.
“
He must have spent hours working up enough courage to sack that woman he had; only his interest and pride in Mary
’
s recovery could have inspired him to tackle her.
”

“
What splendid news! Mrs. Miles must be thrilled. She was terribly worried last visiting day, she said that she couldn
’
t get a suitable job anywhere.
”
Jill
’
s happiness for Mrs. Miles was genuine, but even then it was little compared to the pleasure that Duncan McRey
’
s action afforded her. She had thought him callous, disinterested once his part of the work was finished. How wrong she had been. Like so much else about this man, his curt manner was a pose, and every day she was becoming more aware of the latent kindliness which lay beneath that
foreboding
exterior.

“
Here is Duncan. I can see him through the window just leaving O.P
’
s. I
’
ll go and meet him.
”
Harriet smoothed out the creases in her skirt and turned towards the door.
“
Have we many cases to see this afternoon?
”
she looked back to enquire.

“
No, it will be a short round.
”
In a way Jill was glad of the diversion which Harriet
’
s early arrival had caused. She had not had the opportunity to give a thought to Duncan McRey
’
s impending ward round, and now, apart from the quickened heart-beats which the sight of this tall figure had evoked, she found herself calm and self-possessed. While Harriet went to meet him she busied herself with final instructions to Brenda and by the time Duncan McRey entered her office she was ready waiting, his white coat folded over her arm.

With a brief nod he took it from her hand, not pausing in the discussion he was having with Harriet. Jill didn
’
t know what it was about, but she was more conscious than ever of the easy intimacy which existed between them.
“
Thanks.
”
He broke off to address Jill as she placed the tweed jacket he had discarded carefully over the chair.
“
Now what have you for me to-day?
”

Jill handed him her list, but he had already turned again to Harriet.
“
Mrs. Miles is a treasure, gave me the best breakfast this morning that I
’
ve had in years ... That was a pretty clever move of mine, getting her as housekeeper.
”

“
You old humbug! You know perfectly well you
’
d have taken her if she
’
d been an incapable half-wit!
”
Harriet chided
him
“
You weren
’
t thinking of yourself at all.
”
Her hand rested for a moment on his arm.
“
I
’
m more than glad if for once you get some benefit from one of your quixotic actions.
”

The smile of understanding that flashed between them haunted Jill as she followed them round the ward. With all her heart she envied Harriet
’
s easy cam
a
raderie with Duncan McRey. If only she herself had been in a position to meet him on equal grounds, but in his eyes she was only one of many nurses to do his bidding, no more than a mere cog in the machinery which ensured the smooth running and efficiency of the hospital.