To Please the Doctor (22 page)

CHAPTER
THIRTEEN

Jill leaned forward for
Philip Traven to light her cigarette, then, relaxing in her chair, glanced round the dining-room of the Marine Hotel. It still needed ten days to Christmas, but the hotel already showed signs of rousing itself from its state of apathy. Fresh
covers brightened the lounge chairs; the almost empty shelves
behind the bar now boasted an assortment of bottles of every shape and colour
s
creens which normally divided off half the floor space had been removed, displaying the full proportions of the semi-circular dining-room with its wide windows overlooking the bay. For the Marine Hotel, Christmas was an important event in the dreary monotony of the winter m
onths
a few days when laughter and merry voices would re-e
ch
o through, the public rooms ... a reminder of the summer seasons gone, but shortly to return again.

“
Jill, while we are dissecting this chicken, I
’
d like to pick a metaphorical bone with you.
”
Philip
’
s words broke in on Jill
’
s reverie.

“
What about, Philip? What have I done?
”

“
At Brent you told me definitely that you had no intention of leaving St. Joseph
’
s; now it
’
s general knowledge that you are. Even allowing for hospital rumour,
everyone
can
’
t be wrong.
”
He spoke a trifle aggrievedly.

“
They aren
’
t wrong this time. I
’
ve changed my mind, I am leaving.
”
Aware of Philip
’
s obvious surprise, Jill hurried on.
“
I didn
’
t know last week-end, it was a sudden decision.
”

“I
should think so,
very
sudden I should imagine. And what’s this story about you getting married
?
”

“
That
’
s
not
true, but it
’
s easier to let everyone think so
,
so you might keep the truth to yourself.
”

“
Of course I won
’
t say anything, but what is the truth—the real reason, I mean?
”

“
I ... I prefer to go back to London
...
it
’
s difficult to get home from here ... I hardly see Terry at all.
”
Jill
sought to find a plausible excuse which would close the
discussion.

“
I see,
”
Philip agreed, but without real conviction.

Silence fell between them as the waiter served the sweet course. Of course Jill could have told of the
part Brenda had p
l
ayed in her decision, but somehow she felt reluctant to do so; since Philip had once been friendly with Brenda, she didn
’
t want to say anything to blacken Brenda in his
eyes.

P
hilip, aware that Jill intended to be reticent, abruptly
changed the subject.

“
Quite a good meal for the
‘
Marine
’
, although they usually do us well on Sunday nights, but it wouldn
’
t surprise me if they
’
d got in a new chef for Christmas. The place fills up over the holidays, dance band, fan
cy
dress ball, children
’
s tea party and all, a positive round of gaiety, you wouldn
’
t know it!
”

“
I certainly shouldn
’
t!
”
Jill spoke conventionally, hardly aware of what she was saying. Philip
’
s reminder that to-day was Sunday sent her thoughts spinning back to Harriet and Duncan McRey ... Would they have left Brent Towers yet? Perhaps they
’
d stayed to dinner
...
more likely they were already on the road, side by side, travelling through the darkness
...
Had he tucked a rug round Harriet
’
s knees
?
But it wasn
’
t so cool this week, and the new car wouldn
’
t be draughty ... all day the image of those two had haunted her. She had thought of Terry too, wondering how he was looking now, how quickly he was progressing, and her own inability to get to him smote her afresh.

“
It
’
s been nice having you at St. Joseph
’
s. I am going to miss you badly.
”

Once again Jill brought herself back to the present with an effort of will power.
“
Of course you won
’
t miss me. You are thoroughly spoilt, you know perfectly well there are dozens of other girls only too willing to keep you company!
”
She laughed at his air of dejection.
“
You
’
ll soon
h
ave forgotten that I
’
d ever been at St. Joseph
’
s, and no doubt you
’
ll be consoling yourself with someone else and almost before my train leaves the station!
”
Jill forced herself to introduce a note of levity.

“
We
’
ve always got on well together,
”
Philip persisted, unwilling to have his grievance so readily dismissed.

“...
and from what I hear you and Brenda
Malling
got on well together before I turned up,
”
Jill r
emin
d him with a provocative smile.

“
Oh, Brenda!... yes, she
’
s nice enough..
.”

“
Nice enough?
”
Jill echoed scoffingly.
“
She is an extremely attractive girl, and you
’
ve neglected her shamefully lately!
”

“
What
’
s the matter with you?
”
Philip asked with undisguised astonishment.
“
I thought you didn
’
t like her; you always seemed to be at loggerheads with one another.
”

“
Just a misunderstanding, that
’
s all,
”
Jill explained airily.
“
You said yourself that you had to get to know her.
”
Jill was surprised at the pleasure—almost relief—which her words evoked, and suddenly she knew that her own antipathy to Brenda must have influenced Philip more than she had realized. Looking back she recalled how much he had always depended on her judgment, and her one desire at that moment was to undo any harm she had inadvertently caused.
“
I know now how charming and helpful Brenda can be. You were right about her, I was wrong, that
’
s all,
”
she ended with a disarming smile.

“
I
’
m awfully glad you think so. I could never understand why you two couldn
’
t hit it off together.
”

“
She seems to be going through a difficult time, with the responsibility of a niece to support.
”
Jill looked up to watch his reaction to her remark, and was glad to see that the subject was no surprise to
him.

“
Yes, Julie is a big responsibility; she
’
s a pretty
girl,
came in once for tonsils.
”
Philip beckoned the waiter to order coffee, then turned again to Jill.
“
I
’
ve got to go back by ten, I
’
m on call,
”
he explained as he snapped open his cigarette case and handed it across the table.

“
Yes, I know. I
’
ll stroll ba
ck
with you, then I
thin
k
I
’
ll take a walk along the front before turning in. I haven
’
t had a spot of fresh air this week, all my off-duty time seems to have been spent sorting out toys, attending meetings, discussing decorations and generally making myself useful.
”
Jill laughed cheerfully as she filled the coffee cups and passed one across to her companion.
“
Still, Christmas is great fun even though it entails a lot of extra work, but the children adore everything, and it gives them such pleasure, it more than compensates for the commotion in the wards!
”
She glanced at her watch.
“
You ought to be getting the bill, it
’
s nearly a quarter to ten.
”

Five minutes later they were making their way towards the hospital. Philip in friendly fashion slipped an arm through Jill
’
s
“
I hope I
’
m not going to lose touch with you again when you leave here. Promise you
’
ll let me know where you
’
re working,
”
he urged.

“
Of course I shall, and you must come to Brent Towers for a week-end in the Spring. I shall probably invite Brenda too!
”
Jill threatened
laughingly.

Philip joined in her laughter, and a short time later they parted at the hospital gates.

With hastened steps Jill walked towards the sea front. It was full moon, and the white paving of the promenade stretched clearly before her; even the distant cliffs were outlined, and the houses along the front stood etched as a dark silhouette against the sky. Almost without volition she found herself making for the jetty; to-night the waves lapped gently against the beach, making a sibilant sound as they sucked back the loose shingle. There was no battle with the elements as there had been on that night with Duncan McRey, no battle but the struggle against the misery which threatened to overwhelm her. Like the wide stretch of ocean, her future seemed to loom ahead, wherever she went, whatever she did. Could she ever find contentment again? Yet she knew now with certainty that Brenda, in forcing the issue, had done her a kindness. Duncan McRey must go out of her life for ever.

Having no wind to contend with, Jill quickly reached the jetty. It seemed alien and strange without the beat of the waves at her back, the contrasting silence eerie and unnatural. Seating herself on the bench, she stared across the smooth waters until she became aware of a sense of peace as if she herself were part of the quiet, enveloping night. For the first time for some days she felt able to think, to co-ordinate her troubled thoughts.
She
’
d apply for a post in London, she decided. At least she
’
d be near Terry. She
’
d always loved him, but during the dreadful crisis of his illness, she had realized more than ever how much he filled her heart. Now in his convalescence, when he needed her most, she couldn
’
t be with him at all. She knew perhaps better than anyone e
l
se Lady Hallard
’
s deficiencies. Lady
Hallard would pet and spoil the child, but a streak of selfishness always denied Terry the deep love and care he needed. Nana was Terry
’
s devoted slave, but as the boy grew older it was hardly fair to expect her to replace a parent
’
s love. Jill knew it was up to her to give Terry all she herself had lacked in childhood.

She found herself wondering what time Duncan McRey and Harriet would get back from Brent. She had made up her mind to telephone Harriet and ask for news of Terry. If only she could have gone herself
...
Jill sighed as she thrust aside the wish; she
’
d have to be satisfied with Harriet
’
s report. In a few minutes she
’
d start back
...
surely Harriet would be home by
now...

“
I thought I might find you here.
”
Creped-soled shoes had deadened the sound of Duncan McRey
’
s approach, and Jill looked
u
p with a stifled exclamation as she heard herself addressed.
“
I saw Traven; he said you
’
d walked this way.
”

“
You gave me a shock. I didn
’
t hear you coming.
”
Her deep concentration and his muffled footsteps had made her completely unaware of Duncan McRey
’
s presence until his voice had startled her to life; even now it seemed unreal to see him standing before her as if his tall figure were some spectre conjured from the mist.

“
Please move along, I
’
d like to sit down.
”

His laughing reminder that she was occupying the centre of the small bench brough
t
Jill to her senses. With a murmured apology she shifted her position, making room for him at her side.
“
I
’
m
...
I
’
m sorry. I was still getting over the surprise of your appearance. I
...
I wasn
’
t expecting anyone
.
”

“
Well, that
’
s a relief, anyway, I
’
m glad I
’
m not breaking in on a rendezvous ... or perhaps tryst is the correct word!
”
he rejoined with a laugh as he seated himself at her side and began to fill his pipe.
“
I thought you might like news of your young brother. He is doing splendidly has recuperated very quickly and is getting up for a bit tomorrow.
”

“
Oh, I
’
m so glad.
”
Jill clasped her gloved hands together in her lap and turned her glowing face to her companion.
“
I
’
ve been wondering all day. I meant to phone and ask Harriet; it
’
s marvellous to have direct news from you.
”

“
There are still ten days to Christmas, he
’
ll be quite fit again by then. Sir Trevor and Lady Hallard leave Brent by the middle of the week, but I understand you
’
ll meet them in town the day they go.
”

“
Yes, I promised I
’
d go up and see them off. It happens to be my off-duty time and, anyway, I want to get to London for some last-minute shopping.
”
Jill hesitated, then asked.
“
Please tell me, is Terry very upset at being left alone at Brent
over Christmas
?
”

Ignoring the question, Duncan McRey went on.
“
You know Terry is an odd child, rather old for his years and given to introspection. He appears to be thrown back too much on his own resources, he is lonely and should have more companionship of his own age.
”

“
I know,
”
Jill eagerly agreed, glad to have someone with whom she could share her own doubts.
“
I feel that too. He needs more outlet for his natural high spirits; he is always with adults and is becoming curiously old-fashioned in some ways.
”

“
I
’
ve asked Nurse to bring him over here for Christmas.
”

“
You
’
ve
...
what?
”
Jill exclaimed, wondering if she had heard right.

“
It seemed an ideal solution,
”
he continued calmly as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and entirely unaware of Jill
’
s amazement, went on:
“
The child needs a change, he
’
ll be near you, and I
’
ll be able to keep an eye on him.
”

“
But
...
but it
’
s too wonderful I can
’
t believe it.
”
Jill felt dazed. It didn
’
t seem possible that by a few simple words Duncan McRey could, as if by magic, conjure Terry to her side. She would after all be able to share his childish excitement as he fumbled to open his Christmas parcels, his little hands pulling impatiently at the string; hear his excited chatter about the wonders of his Christmas stocking, precious moments which up to this year she had never missed. Her heart overflowed with gratitude, and her violet eyes reflected the joy in
h
er heart.
“
I don
’
t think I can ever attempt to express my gratitude.
”

“
There isn
’
t any question of gratitude.
”
He dismissed her words with a note of impatience.
“
Terry needs sea air. It was an obvious solution. No doubt he and his Nurse would be more comfortable at Harriet
’
s, but we felt her place was too far out. He
’
ll be far more accessible to you at my house.
”
Duncan McRey drew thoughtfully at his pipe before continuing. You
’
d better come over when you
’
ve some free time and have a look round. I
’
ll leave it to you to see about their rooms and to instruct Mrs. Miles in any way you consider necessary.
”

Of course I
will
...
I ...
I wouldn
’
t like you to be put out in any way
...
Nana is very good with Terry. I
’
m sure she won
’
t let their visit disturb you.
”

There was an almost boyish gesture in the way Duncan McRey threw
back
his head and laughed at her words. The moonlight revealed the square line of his jaw and the even row of white teeth beneath his curved lips.
“
You are unduly concerned. I assure you I
’
ve no intention of being disturbed; on the contrary, I shall enjoy my visitor.
”
He leaned forward and knocked out the ash of his pipe against the iron rail protecting the jetty, then with an abrupt change of subject turned again to Jill.
“
Very different to-night from our last visit here?
”

“
It
’
s wonderful!
”
There was a depth of underlying feeling in Jill
’
s words. Indeed, it was different, not only in the calm of the encompassing night, but in her own being. She had not even dreamed then that this man
’
s companionship could come to mean so much to her.

“
I imagine you are beginning to like Sunsands?
”
His words were more a statement than a question.

“
Like it?
”
Jill echoed the words as if to assure herself of their meaning.
“‘
I don
’
t think it
’
s the sort of place one likes, it
’
s so ugly ... I hated it at
first
...
then I began to see it quite differently. It
’
s very bleakness became an attraction, the stark outline of the cliffs took on a rugged beaut
y
... It has somehow grown on me
...
and now
...
”
Jill broke off abruptly. There had been something disturbingly familiar about her words. Hadn
’
t she expressed exactly the same feelings about the man at her side? With a sense of guilt she glanced up at her companion, but
his expression was impassive.

Idly, he stooped and picked up a handful of stones from a pile which the sea, in angry mood, had at some time thrown up against the wall of the jetty. Taking aim, he threw them into the sea, watching the splash and the widening
circles
of disturbed water as they struck the surface. He appeared lost in his own thoughts, and it seemed to
Jill
that for the moment he had entirely forgotten her presence. Suddenly, as if tiring of the pastime, he dropped the remaining pebbles from his hand and turned again to
Jill. “
I too, shall be very sorry to leave here. In fact, I can
’
t bring myself to sell the house. I shall keep it if only
for occasional holidays.
”

“
You mean you are leaving St. Josephs? Ji
ll
asked in
astonishment
.

“
Yes m
y
town appointments make it essential that I have
my
headquarters
there. Soon after the New Year I
shall
settle in London.
”

“
Oh
!
”
Jill could not suppress the exclamation
which sprang to her lips. So he would be in London...
they might even meet
...
she might even get an appoint
ment
at one of the hospitals he attended. Of course, it was
absurd, she must dismiss the idea. Hadn
’
t she been prepared
to accept with resignation the coming parting of their ways,
recognizing the obvious wisdom of a complete break, which
Fate—
assisted by Brenda
—
had made imperative. Jill
c
aught her breath in her throat
.
She had steeled herself
to
follow blindly where Fate had decreed, now, why shouldn
’t she accept
any crumb which it might throw her.