Torn: Bound Trilogy Book Two (42 page)

Kel was different in so many ways. What I felt for him was confusing, frightening in its intensity. I just didn’t know what to do with it.

“I’ve been many things to people in my life,” I said softly. “Daughter, student, nuisance, wife. Murderer. I’m not any of those things to you. You’re my friend.”

“I am.”

“And you want more.”

“I do. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. I feel connected to you like I haven’t to anyone else. Ever.”

“Does that scare you?” I asked.

“Yes. A lot. But I want it, too.”

I rolled over to face him and touched my fingers to his lips. I’d become accustomed to being alone, and so many of my plans depended on my being dispensable. We had Ulric, but he hadn’t made it to his throne yet, and Severn still lived. I needed to be willing to do anything to bring him down, to make him pay. Even if it meant sacrificing my own life.

But when I looked into Kel’s eyes, I found myself wanting something more peaceful and beautiful. The two desires would tear me apart if I let them.

I will decide. Soon.

I moved my face closer to his. “I want more, too, but I’m not sure how much I can handle. Everything is so complicated.”

The compassion in his eyes nearly brought tears to mine.

“You let me know.” His lips brushed against my fingers as he spoke, and I moved them up to smooth the tension from his brow.

He pulled me into a kiss that washed my other concerns away, if only temporarily. I pressed my body to his, relishing emotions and physical desires I’d thought dead until I met him.

Kel pulled away and raised his head to kiss the hollow behind my jaw. I shivered.

“Go to sleep,” he said. “I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“For how long?”

“How long do you want me?”

I tucked my head under his chin. “For this moment,” I mumbled as I drifted away. “And the next one.” I yawned. “And the next…”

“
A
ren
,” I whispered.

He opened one eye. “Is it time to go?”

“If you’re able. Drink this.”

He took the hot tea that Nox had brewed and sipped it, then grimaced. “This is terrible.”

“It’s blue pine bark,” Nox informed him. She stood behind me with her arms crossed, obviously trying to appear annoyed, and failing. She was probably as relieved as I was to see him looking better. “Keeps fevers down, eases pain.” I moved aside so she could examine him. “That’s about all I can do for you now, save for changing those bandages.”

He didn’t protest when she unwrapped his foot and pressed freshly brewed potion onto it. Nox had been up before dawn, brewing whatever she could find to keep us all going. I’d been unable to sleep most of the night, and had watched her work. She moved with purpose and certainty, never hesitating in the tasks she’d set for herself. Even if she wasn’t going to be a friend to me, I was glad to have her with us.

“How’s your arm?” she asked.

“Not bad.” I lifted it and moved it around. It was still stiff, but I wasn’t about to complain. I was alive, and everything was working. I’d had far worse pain.

I would have liked to talk to Ulric about the flood of magic, about his own experience when we left the cell and what he expected to happen to us now, but he was no longer the man I’d met in the blue room. The mellowing effects of captivity were gone. I now saw the tyrant who Aren had told me about, cold and calculating, uncaring and focused entirely on strategy. He was speaking to Kel now, gesturing toward Aren as though he were an inconvenience rather than the catalyst for our freedom.

Aren stiffened slightly as his father approached.

“Will you be able to travel?” Ulric didn’t crouch to speak, but looked down his nose at Aren.

“I will.”

Ulric tapped a foot on the needle-strewn forest floor. “We’ll get you back to Tyrea, and everything will be better. Once your power restores itself, things will be as they should.” He gave me a strange look, then turned on his heel and left us.

“Was that supposed to be encouragement?” I asked.

Aren quirked an eyebrow over the top of his cup as he sipped at the potion again. “That’s about as good as it gets. He might actually be concerned. It’s hard to say.”

We needed to move, but I ducked under his arm to rest my head on his chest. “I missed you. I’m sorry I was so stupid.”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? You’re safe, and I’m going to be fine. Besides, your misjudgment of Callum led to us finding my father. We’ll call it even.”

My stomach filled with ice, and I tensed at Callum’s name.

I felt Aren’s shoulders drop, and he put his arms lightly around me. “Do I need to apologize for that?”

“Please, no. Never. You saved my life. It’s just a bit of a shock to me. I’ve been imagining you both as separate parts of my life, never to meet again. The fact that he came back into my life was my fault. His death was his own doing, and his father’s. Callum might have been a different person if not for Dorset’s influence. I don’t think he wanted to hurt me, but he thought he had to.”

“Family can be hard to escape.”

We both turned toward Ulric, who was now speaking to a confused-looking Florizel. Aren chuckled under his breath at them, and it turned into a cough. “We’d better get moving before this gets worse again.”

Florizel gathered the horses, and in a few minutes, we were loaded up and on the move. Nox and Kel rarely left each other’s sides, and when they did, warm glances flew between them across the campsite.

The woods were quiet, bright, and sunny, but there was nothing relaxed about our progress. Every snap of a branch set us on edge, ready to defend ourselves.

We swung wide around Ardare, staying to the woods, and our progress was slow. As we moved east, aiming for the north end of the isthmus, the ground beneath the horses’ hoofs became rougher, with more stone protruding from the ground. The area was unfamiliar to me. We wouldn’t be passing through Lowdell. I wouldn’t see my family. I looked south, toward an ocean I couldn’t hope to see from here.

“They’ll be fine,” Aren said softly. “We went through there. Your family is safe, or they were a few days ago. I told your mother they should leave.”

It took me a moment to process the idea of Aren and my mother in the same place. Again, two halves of my life colliding. My chest tightened. “Did you see Ashe?”

“No. But Nox prepared something for him. She’s a good Potioner.” He lifted his leg in the stirrup as though testing its strength. “A miracle worker, really. He’ll live. You’ll see him again, some day.”

I blinked back tears. “I’ll have to thank her later.”

He nodded. “Your mother sent her love. And her apologies.”

I closed my eyes. “Thank you. Tell me more later?” I couldn’t talk more about my family. Not yet. Not when the knowledge that my mother still loved me made me feel as though my heart might rip in half.
Safety first. Then comfort.

The lay of the land forced our path to twist and turn as we rode on. Holes appeared in the ground, surrounded by lips of uneven, pockmarked stone. Caves, perhaps a network of them. They reminded me of our journey to Belleisle, though I didn’t expect we’d encounter any cave fairies while still on Darmish land.

Though the route would keep us away from most human civilization, I couldn’t help thinking that even here, someone had to be watching. The back of my neck prickled, but though I checked over my shoulder, I saw nothing.

Aren regained his strength as we traveled, and told me more of what had happened on his journey. I suspected he was leaving things out, but hearing about the Dragonfreed brothers and his visit with Ruby was enough for me. I was glad he’d had friends with him for most of it. Kel and Cassia joined in the conversation a few times, but for the most part it was just the two of us, riding at the back of the group.

We stopped for a meal and to make camp in a cave-dotted meadow. The mountains were in view, but we’d never make it before nightfall. Florizel flew toward them to scout as much as she could before sunset.

“Do you feel that?” Aren asked. He dismounted and stepped toward the trees. He breathed deeply and spread his arms wide. When he turned back, his dark eyes shone. “It’s stronger here. I don’t think they’ve destroyed as much of the magic in this area. It’s coming back to me.”

“Good,” Ulric said. “Can you do anything?”

Nox crossed her arms and glared at him. “Other than perform what amounts to a miraculous healing on himself? His magic is working. He’s walking. It’s amazing.”

Ulric turned to her with an identical expression. “Avalon, I—”

“That’s not my name anymore.” Her lip lifted in a sneer. “I left that in Luid when I was a child. I have no desire to take it back.” Kel placed a hand on her arm, and she shook him off.

Ulric pinched the bridge of his nose. “Very well. Nox. I understand that you have problems with me—”

“I’ll have a lot fewer when you start showing respect to the people who saved your life.” Nox turned away and went to her bag to find her dagger. She stalked off into the woods in the direction Florizel had taken the horses, and Kel and Cassia followed her.

“I didn’t mean it that way.” Ulric turned back to Aren. “I simply wondered how quickly you were recovering. Rowan, too.”

“As I said, it’s coming along,” Aren said. “I don’t think I can do anything impressive now, but I’m healing, and I’ll try to be aware of anyone coming.”

They both looked at me.

“I feel drained, actually, but it’s getting better the closer we get to Tyrea,” I said. “It’s coming back. Starting to feel almost normal.” I grinned. I had to. “Except that I think I can control it now.”

“Good. That’s good.” Ulric seemed about to say something else to Aren, but instead walked away and looked at the mountains.

“Don’t feel too sorry for him,” Aren said. “He’ll figure out his place with us.”

I took Aren’s hand and squeezed it. “I know. But he did help me, so much. Things are strange now, but maybe he’ll come around.”

He smiled down at me. “You seem different.”

“Yeah?”

“Less afraid. Stronger. I mean, I—” He looked away, sheepish. “I loved you before you had control of your magic.” When he met my gaze again, his eyes held a flicker of the heat I had missed so much. “But there’s something incredibly attractive about you as a true Sorceress.” He spun me around and into his arms and leaned in to catch my lips with his. I pushed up onto my toes, unable to get as close as I wanted to, pulling away only when I couldn’t breathe anymore. He stumbled slightly on his bad leg as he stepped back, and grinned.

“You’ve changed, too,” I said. “I don’t know what it is. It’s good, though.”

His smile faded. “I’m not sure good is the right word.” He ran his fingers through his tangled hair and looked out over the land that stretched away from us, back in the direction of Ardare. “I don’t think that’s what I am.”

I began to object, but he stopped me. “Let me say this. I know you don’t approve of some of the ways I use my magic. It was quite clear the first time I told you about the mind-control that you were horrified by it. Perhaps rightly so. You’re not the only one who feels that way. It’s a terrible power, and one I once used recklessly for purposes I should have thought to question. When we went to Belleisle, I agreed to give it up, at least temporarily. Between Emalda and my grandfather, the mer-folk and brother Phelun, I became convinced that it was dark magic. Wrong. And maybe it is. But when it came down to a choice between using dark magic and losing you, there was no question in my mind or my heart about what I had to do.”

“Aren.” I reached for his hand again. “I’m glad you used it. I’m beginning to understand that everything’s not as black and white as I once thought it was.”

He smiled slightly, but regret remained in his eyes. “I need you to know that I’m never going to be a white knight. I know there’s darkness in me, and in my power. I’m not going to fight it or hide it. But I think I can use it for better purposes than what Severn planned for me. I will try to be wiser about it, but I will use every one of my talents if that’s what it takes to accomplish our goals. Even if people get hurt. Does that still bother you?”

My heart swelled. I reached up to tuck his hair behind his ear and traced my fingernails over the warm skin of his neck. “No. There was a time when it would have, but you’re right. I’ve changed. When I thought I was never going to see you again, I didn’t only miss the parts of you that are easy to accept, or the parts I’d have chosen to take home to meet my family. I wanted everything. Even the parts that make me uncomfortable. Even the things that frighten me.” I gave him a shy smile. “Didn’t I tell you I liked your claws? Maybe this fairy tale ends with the damsel in love with the dark prince, not the white knight.”

Aren took another deep breath of the cool air and pulled me close again. “You know I—” His expression turned sharp, and he looked toward the forest. “Where are the others?”

Nox appeared from the woods, running up the hill toward us, out of breath.

“Where are Kel and Cassia?” Aren asked her.

“Back by the river,” Nox gasped. “They got away downstream. Soldiers sneaked up on us when we were watering the horses.”

Ulric’s mouth pulled back in a silent snarl, and he stepped forward. The ground beneath us vibrated. I grabbed Aren’s arm.

“He can control it,” he whispered.

Five soldiers in a tight pack ran out of the trees. The ground stilled, and Ulric continued toward them in slow steps, arms outstretched. The rumbling started again, and the soldiers’ steps faltered. They stopped.

The ground beneath them opened with a deafening snap, swallowing every one of them as a cave cracked open. When the ground stilled and the dust settled, a muffled groan rose from an elongated space like a mouth in the earth. Tendons in Ulric’s neck stood out as he lifted his arms again. The cave ceiling collapsed, leaving a deep, rocky crater.

Ulric took a few steps toward us, then fell to his knees. I ran to his side and knelt in the grass. “Are you all right?”

He reached for my hand, and I helped him to his feet. “I’ll be fine,” he said, though he looked dazed. “It’s been a while since I’ve used as much power as I have today. I think...I think I should rest.” He moved bent-backed toward a patch of longer grass. “That action requires such power, you see. I could do it once. Three years is just—”

His eyes closed, and he collapsed onto his side. “Nox!” I called, but she was already there.

“Go,” she said. “I’ll handle this. Find the others.”

I turned to see another soldier charging Aren. He wouldn’t be able to use magic to defend himself.

I stepped forward to help, but at that moment my nightmare appeared from among the trees. Dorset Langley rode toward us on a white stallion, sword drawn, grinning as though his senses had left him completely. His wild hair and wide eyes did nothing to lessen the effect.

“There you are!” he yelled, eyes on me.

I stepped back.

“You little bitch,” he continued in a more conversational tone as he dismounted. His horse shuffled away, tossing its head nervously. “You ruined everything. My family is a laughingstock. Did Callum tell you that? He might have redeemed himself if he’d stepped in and finished you, but no. You and your friends and your magic go free while he grows cold in the mortuary. I won’t allow you to leave. You won’t live while he rots.” He snarled. “This ends now.”

A cracking noise, and the man Aren had been fighting dropped to the ground. Aren limped toward us, and Langley pointed the sword toward him without looking away from me. “You’re next,” he said. He pointed the sword at my heart. Not touching, but within lunging distance.

I held my ground. “I don’t think so.”

“Rowan, step back,” Aren said.

“No.” I called on my magic. True, it wasn’t as strong as it would be when we reached Tyrea, but it would do. My magic had been born in these lands, and grown up in isolation. I could work with this.

Something else rose in me, along with my magic. I saw the faces of the prisoners who had passed through my father’s courtroom, the faces on wanted posters of those accused of possessing magic. Callum, who should have been someone’s prince charming, but had been twisted into a villain by his father’s lies. My cousins, who had likely died for the same reason I should have. Rage tightened my hands into fists, but I held back.