Totem (36 page)

              I know I can’t fight him. His strength infinitely exceeds mine. I can try to out run him, but it is pointless. His speed is faster than anything I have ever seen. I glance down at Michelle. Her attention is directed towards the people on the float completely clueless to the dangers lurking steps away from us. My heart breaks at the thought of placing Michelle in harm’s way again. It is then I resolutely decide to get out of the crowd. If he is going to attack then I do not want anyone else to get hurt besides me. I know I have to run.

              I glance at Michelle one more time silently saying good bye to one of the truest friends I have ever known. A pain in my heart rises inside of me as the weight of my decision falls upon me. The float in front of me has stopped and now is my greatest chance. I turn and run through the crowd as fast as I can. The fresh, cool air hits me as soon as I burst through the forest of people and into the open. With new speed I take off towards the only place I can think to go where I will be alone and no one else will get hurt. I draw him to City Park. My heart beats inside my chest in protest as my lungs push their limits propelling my feet forward.

              I chance a glance back only to see my demon predator jumping effortlessly side to side on the street, a smile drawn tightly across his face reveals his pointed teeth. I know he is toying with me. He can catch me in a blink of an eye, but it is all a game to him. Yet, I am running for my life. Quickly I dodge across City Park Avenue sending car horns blazing and wheels screeching in protest as they swerve to avoid me.

              This is it. This is the night I, Kimberly Anne Storm, am going to die. I run through the grass trying to get further away from more people. I do not want him to take more victims than me. Further I run into the safety of the old oak trees. When I am satisfied I am hidden in the shadows, I grab the last bit of courage from somewhere deep inside of me.

              I stop running. I turn around to face my attacker. If this is the end, then I am not going down without a fight. The demon stops yards away from me. His posture relaxes as his unwavering toothy grin looks upon me triumphantly. My chest heaves trying to catch the breaths denied on the run. My heart beats quickly as if knowing these are the lasts beats it will take. My eyes begin to water as anger rises up inside of me.

              I always wondered how I would die. Out of my many guesses, in the hands of a vampire was not one of them. I hoped I would go when I was old surrounded by pictures of my children and their children and their children’s children. I wanted to go quietly in my sleep knowing I lived a full life…but not here… not like this.

              There are so many things I will never get to experience. There are so many things I want to know, but one thing that I am certain of without a doubt is that I know love. I know the type of love worth dying for. My thoughts shoot to Ty as a single tear drops down my cheek. Silently I lift my thoughts out to him in hopes he hears my gratitude for loving me and allowing me to love him in return.

              The vampire lets out a chuckle causing my eyes to look deep in his. There is no remorse. There is no sadness. He is a killer and has been that way for quite some time. Quickly I bend down and pick up a stick that happens to be lying in front of me. This makes him laugh even more. My anger builds causing a tremor to rise through my body and the stick in my hand to shake.

              “What are you waiting for?” I ask through clinched teeth.

              “I’m waiting for you to beg,” replies the vampire.

              “I wouldn’t give you the damn satisfaction,” I state defiantly flicking my head back to remove the hair from my face.

              I narrow my eyes staring hard at the vampire. I am going to die but I will not show fear. I refuse to show fear. His smile immediately drops as his voice rises in anger. Quickly he charges me. I throw the branch back and let it swing with all the force and speed my human body can muster. The branch misses its target flying off into the night and in one fluid blur, he is behind me. All the force I exude throws my body forward. Now, my body is being dragged unnaturally back the opposite direction. I feel it contort under his strength. Aggressively, he pulls my hair forcing my head to one side exposing my neck. He is rough, unkind to me, and I feel the tears building inside as every fiber of my being begins to make peace with the end of my mortal life. Roughly he positions my head one last time.

              “I am going to enjoy this,” he whispers in my ear. Anger at him takes hold of me causing my tears to stay within. Then I feel it. A sharp sting in my neck causes my body to tense as he sinks his teeth in. My heart beats, unwillingly speeding up the blood flow and making it easier to drink for the demon taking my life. I feel my body begin to slump as my veins contract seeking to feel the blood that once flowed so freely through them. I want to crumple to the ground but the vampire holds me up against my will.

              This is the end. Light fills my eyes, but I know it is still dark. My head feels empty and I begin to relax as I accept the inevitable. I close my eyes greeting death openly with the euphoria brought upon by adrenaline.

              Suddenly, I am jolted. I hear the howl of a dog as I am flung to the ground like a ragdoll. My attacker has left my body. My eyes flutter open and the light gives way to the darkness of the night focusing on what is going on around me. I see the grey hair and the white teeth of the wolf. I hear the gurgling of my blood in his throat as the wolf rips into the vampire’s neck. I hear the hiss of forced breaths through a closed throat as flailing arms frantically reach towards the oversized unrelenting wolf. Finally, I see the redness leave my attackers eyes as his body slumps and crumples under razor sharp teeth. With one final gut wrenching sound of flesh tearing, I see the head severed from the body as both lumps of flesh begin to turn to dust. The vampire disappears, crumpling into the earth that seeks to reclaim him.

              It is over. No longer will my attacker lurk around corners. Relief washes over me as I feel my body lightening. The wolf lets out a howl then looks at me. Concern fills his face. He nuzzles my arm. Tears stream down my face. It is a bitter release to the end of a traumatizing experience. The wetness on my neck soaks into the collar of my shirt. It is all over. I look into the glowing golden eyes of the wolf, my savior, my boyfriend, and my love.

              “Hey, babe,” I manage to whisper through a sore throat.

              I reach for the face of a wolf knowing behind it is Ty. My consciousness leaves me and I slip away.

             
My body lifts up
as the blood red eyes of my killer obstruct my vision. It is dark but I am alive. Underneath my body is plush fabric. My brain processes the bed I am in. A dull ache coming from my right arm causes my left arm to tentatively touch it. A tube is attached to my arm held by tape. Quickly I pull away as the touch causes more pain. I feel pain.
It is a sign that I am alive. Tears begin streaming down my face in sweet release. I am alive!
I thought I was dead. With my left hand I cross my body fumbling for a light that has to be on the night stand. Sure enough, I reach for the outline and find the way to turn it on. Light floods the room and I wait for my eyes to adjust. I am in Ty’s room. The familiarity registers as I look around. I look down at my arm. An IV is attached to my arm with two bags running into the tube; one has red liquid I can assume to only be blood and the other seems to be clear liquid. I look at the bags a little closer. The red bag reads B positive in big letters followed by a bunch of small letters.

              How did Ty know?

              “You had your donor card in your wallet. I noted it the first time I saved you,” a voice from the door way answers.

              I startle. My body is still on edge and I am ready to run, but I stop when I lock eyes with Ty standing in the doorway. In one hand is a glass filled with liquid. In the other is a plate. He is shirtless, beautiful and alive. I am alive.

              “Hey babe,” he says with a crooked smile and eyes still filled with concern.

              I feel my lips tremble as everything inside of me comes relentlessly out. I am left debilitated by my emotions as I sob uncontrollably. My body trembles. Ty quickly comes over to me. He sets the items on the end table then sweeps me up into his arms gently brushing the plastic tubes out of his way as he cradles me like a baby. My tears drip down his bare chest. I watch through blurry vision as the light from the lamp gets caught in the tears on his skin.

              “I thought I was dead.” I manage to choke the words out through heaving sobs.

              “Shhhh… it’s ok now. You are alive and I have you.”

              My sobs grow louder and harsher. Ty wastes no more words to fill the empty space. Gently he rocks me, never stopping, never yielding no matter how long it takes. Slowly, my body tires of the sobs as the tears begin to run out. I cling to him tightly causing him to hold on even tighter.

              “The vampire bite…am I going to become a vampire? Does it transfer?”

              “No” replies Ty. “They aren’t sparkly vampires that walk in the sunlight like certain authors would have you believe. They do not have venomous blood that magically makes you a vampire. You would have to ingest their blood and die to become a vampire.”

              He holds me tight to him. I sense the tension in his body.

              “I should have been there sooner,” states Ty remorse filling his words. “There were just too many people. The lights, everything, I lost him and that’s when he happened to find you. I couldn’t… it’s just… he is gone now.”

              “Forever?” I ask knowing full well what the answer was.

              “Yes forever…Sarah checked you out,” replies Ty changing subject. “She said you probably would have been fine without the blood and saline solution, but that it wouldn’t hurt. I made her. I knew it would be for the best.”

              I nod my head to let Ty know I am listening. I can’t help but continue to cry even with the tears being dry. When the lights went out on me in the park, I literally thought I was dead and like in death, I was filled with nothingness. There is a hole with nothing but emptiness filling it.

              “We can take these out now,” he states.

              I don’t move. I merely stare at his chest covered in my tears. He clamps the plastic tubes then grabs a pair of gloves from the top drawer along with gauze. Placing the gauze over the needle going into my skin hiding it from sight, he gently pulls it out and applies pressure. I watch as he patiently waits for my blood to clot under the pressure of his fingers. Blood. This is all I am made of and I can lose it all within minutes. With his free hand, he fumbles for something in the drawer and pulls out tape. Gently he tapes a new clean piece of gauze on my arm lingering extra-long as he rubs the tape to my skin.

              “I thought I was dead.” I state again perhaps still in shock.

              Ty watches my eyes closely as he begins to cradle me again.

              “The worst part of it is that I accepted it,” I begin. “My only concern was not putting others in harm’s way. So I ran away from the crowd drawing the vampire with me.”

              Michelle! I know she will be worried about me. I ran away from her without an explanation. Within seconds, I am crying again. I just need to release everything that is inside me. I need to try and fill the emptiness I left by accepting death. I need to learn how to feel again. Ty holds me tight and continues rocking me.

              “It’s ok. You’re safe now. So is everyone else. I called Michelle and told her you were with me. She said she was planning on catching a ride with Daniel anyway. Everything is ok.”

              I can’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe him. I do not feel like everything is ok. I do not feel alive.

              “Kiss me,” I whisper into his neck.

              Ty begins to plant light kisses on my forehead. He follows them in a straight line along my hair then my neck. This isn’t enough.

              “Kiss me harder,” I whisper a little louder.

              Ty hesitates a moment. The rocking stops a fraction of a second. Then he leans in and kisses my lips harder and longer. The rocking starts up again. I kiss back with a new found urgency. I reposition my legs so that I am straddling him and his kisses become deeper more urgent. I am beginning to feel alive again but it isn’t enough. I want more. I crave more. I have known the icy cold breath of death. Now I need to feel the heat of being alive. It is a heat that Ty has in a limitless supply. My arms stretch freely over his body quickly exploring every inch and every contour. As my hands wander down him, I realize that I want to feel his skin on my skin. Quickly I lift up my shirt and pull it off over my head throwing it onto the floor. My hands quickly find their way back into his thick black hair. I am pulling. I am relaxing. I am kissing him deeper and deeper. It is an unrelenting motion that pulls my beating heart forward warming my body in parts that need to feel.

              I shimmy my way out of my bra letting it join my shirt on the floor as I push my body against his, feeling warmth as our skin touches more intimately. The slightest touch of his skin against the sensitive pink of my nipples feels like electricity igniting. It surges in waves shocking me back to life. I kiss deeper and deeper wanting more. I want to feel something again. I move closer pressing my body completely into his until there is no more space left to fill. I want him. I want him badly.

              With sudden strength, Ty grabs my body holding me in place. The kisses stop. A deep sigh raises his muscular chest as our forward progress hits a brick wall. I rest my head on his shoulder staring off at the wall directly behind him. Emptiness slowly fills my chest back up. A single tear trickles down my face and I bury my head in his shoulder.

                “I know what you’re doing,” begins Ty. His words vibrate my chest as he talks. “I know how shocking it can be when you find life dangling in front of you. It leaves you questioning things. It seems too easy for that single spark in a living thing to go out yet life itself is so hard. I watch people struggle daily with things knowing full well their life will be over before mine and it is a brief moment most people get to live in this world. It is so brief sometimes you ask ‘Why Live?’ Then you search. You search for anything and everything to feel alive. You make decisions quickly enjoying the rush hoping that it would fill the empty void of a traumatic experience, but it won’t Kimber.”

              “You know I want this,” I state. “We have discussed it.”

              “Yes,” replies Ty, “and I also told you I want it to be special for us.”

              My chest is filled with an empty void again. All the effort I put forth to try and fill it now seems futile. My body musters up more tears from somewhere inside and they begin to fall. I know Ty is right. I know I just want to feel and I also know that there is nothing special about this moment. The experience of losing who I am in Ty through sex will be just that. I will give up who I am to find a small amount of relief from the pain and emptiness.

              “All it will do, Kimber, will leave you wanting more. You will crave it more and more like a drug. Until, like a drug, it poisons you. You become jaded and your mind only thinks of selfish needs. I do not want that for you, Kimber.

              When you asked me what I wanted on the beach last semester, it was you. I fell for who you are as a person. I know everyone changes and I fully intend to grow with your changes but I refuse to let you go down paths that compromise who you are deep down to your core. At least let me protect that.”

              I nod my head acknowledging his words. Curiosity begins to grow in me. His words seem to come from personal experience. I want to know more about him, but I am afraid of what I will find.

              “Have you…” I begin stumbling over my words, “lost yourself through love?”

              His body tenses and immediately I know the answer without him ever saying it. I knew though, he will answer me truthfully. I do not know if I am ready for this or if it will cut me.

              “Yes,” replies Ty. “In another life many years ago I did and I will not take that path again.”

              He hugs me tightly and I feel the pain of his words in my chest. My mind reasons with myself. I knew he couldn’t be as old as he was and still be a virgin. That would be silly.
Part of me also knew that the girls in the past didn’t mean anything. Otherwise, they would be here in my place and they are not.

              “I think that is why I want the first time with you to be special. Not just for you, but for me too. Can you give me that?”

              I think about it for a few seconds. Slowly I nod my head.

              “What’s that? I can’t hear you.”

              “Yes,” I say pulling away to look him in the eyes. “Yes, I can wait.”

              He plants a kiss on me then slowly sits me down on the bed. Getting up he hands me the glass which is filled with orange juice. Thankful for the liquid, I drink it quickly. I decline the food on the plate but cannot argue away the vitamins that Ty hands me. He will not allow it. Quickly, I gulp them down chasing them with some orange juice. Placing the empty glass on the night stand I cuddle back into bed as the weight of sleep begins to press down upon me. I should put my shirt back on and cover up, but it is just Ty with me. I feel completely comfortable with him. I feel the covers move as Ty cuddles in behind me. He wraps his arms around me.

              “Let me know if I need to move,” states Ty concerned with my comfort.

              I nod my head once again too tired for words. Complete silence surrounds us and in the comfort of his arms I find solace. Before I am weighted down by sleep, I manage to whisper three words.

              “I love you.”

              “I love you, too.”

Two months later…

             
Ty pulls up to the Omni in his beautiful mustang. With one nod of his head, the valet quickly comes over to my side first opening my door then going around to his side. I stand in my black high heels and fitted slate grey dress, both a present from Ty for our three month anniversary. Although we have been dating and getting to know each other much longer, it was that night back from winter break that marked the beginning. I think it is silly to celebrate only three months but I cannot deny Ty anything. He steps up on the curb with a smile that still melts my heart as he escorts me into the building.

              The uneven slate concrete in front is borderline treacherous in my heels as we walk up to the beautiful hotel. The windows are framed with shutters that are so familiar to the streets of New Orleans and gas lamps flit making the building both warm and inviting. As if to continue with the ambiance, a man dressed in a bell hop uniform holds the door open for us. A warm smile brightens his face. I catch sight of the restaurant and begin to turn that way. Ty stops me. With a smile, he leads me to the elevators in the back of the lobby.

              “I thought we were eating here,” I comment as we wait for the elevator.

              “We are,” replies Ty with his signature crooked smile.

              I smile up at him as the elevator pings and opens. I have quickly learned not to question Ty too much. Since Mardi Gras, I have become a prized possession that needs to be cared for and nurtured. It has become almost an every week occurrence that he would surprise me with flowers or dinner. He showers me with gifts to let me know he cares for me. His affections also fill me emotionally. Perhaps it is a way for him to fill up the emptiness I feel inside. It helps but only I can find fulfillment. So I did. Slowly with the passage of time and the experiences of life, I began to appreciate everything around me. It didn’t seem hard to do in a city like New Orleans.