Toxic (34 page)

He slowly rose to his feet and circled my desk, where he proceeded to lean against the edge. “I looked into his past, like you asked me to, you know.”

I frowned. “I never asked you to do that.”

“Not directly, but since you asked me to look into his parents, I thought I should look into him too.”

I steadied myself by gripping the arms of the chair. “You knew when you left my father’s apartment that day, I already knew who the Trumans were. You didn’t have to look any further.”

He ignored me and gazed out the window. “I found out all kinds of interesting things. Not just sex club exploitations either. He has a juvenile record and has gotten himself into trouble concerning some illegal business matters as well. Makes you wonder what the son of the man who your father helped put away is really doing with you. Why he surfaced after five years. Doesn’t it?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “No, Dawson. It doesn’t.”

He shrugged. “It did me. I had to wonder just what he wanted with you.”

“Dawson,” I warned.

“Did you know about his past?”

I lifted my chin, feeling defensive. “Yes, I did.”

“Well, anyway, we got off track. Jeremy called me here to give me that”—he pointed to the envelope on my desk—“and thought I should know how you felt about it. Pretty funny. Don’t you think?”

I shook my head vehemently.

Dawson flashed his teeth at me. “Come on, you have to see the irony in it. He’s spent what, a total of maybe three months with you? I’ve known you for five years, and yet he thought he should tell me how you felt. Like I wouldn’t have already figured out why you didn’t send me a prospectus. Like I didn’t know you were worried I’d say yes even if I didn’t think the plan was solid.”

I gripped the prospectus toward me in a protective way, not sure why.

Dawson’s eyes shifted to the white envelope. “You weren’t wrong, Phoebe.”

I swallowed, my nerves frazzled. Jeremy must have been listening to my conversation with Logan this morning.

“Jeremy also thought I should know he felt the plan was a concrete path to revitalization for the Saint. He even walked me through the material.”

Concern drummed in my core.

“I’m sorry but it took all I had not to laugh. Some good-for-nothing son of a con artist thinks he knows what’s best for your company? He thinks his opinion means anything to me?”

I sucked in a breath. “Dawson, I think that’s enough.”

He reached for the envelope but I jerked it away and stuffed it back in the drawer. “You see, Phoebe, I’d do anything for you. I’ve told you that. And to his credit, his presentation was very convincing. So much so, I almost said yes immediately. But then I had to wonder . . .” He let the words drift.

Ice formed in my belly. “Dawson, why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?”

“Where is Jeremy?” I asked in a raised voice.

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Oh, he left.”

I popped up, feeling panicky. “Where did he go?” I asked in a softer voice.

Dawson shrugged. “I don’t know but if he took my offer, he left town.”

My knees felt weak as I circled around my desk to sit in one of the chairs on the other side. “What offer?”

He glanced over his shoulder at me.

I was trembling. “What did you do, Dawson?”

He huffed. “What was best for you.”

I rubbed my palms on my jeans. “What was that?”

Dawson strode around the desk and took a seat next to me. “I told him that if he disappeared from your life, for good this time, I’d not only fund your entire project and save your family’s legacy but I’d also fund his Jet Set expansion as well, in whichever city he decided to move to next.”

My eyes darted to his in shock. “Why would you do that?”

“For you. To protect you from him.”

Tears pricked my eyes. “He wouldn’t take money from you.”

He tilted his head. “You don’t think so?”

I shook my head vehemently
. Jeremy would never do that.

“Phoebe, you know I love you, and I’ll take you back as soon as you’re ready.”

I wanted to slap him. “He didn’t leave me and I don’t love you. You know that.”

He heaved a heavy sigh. “I don’t think you know what you want. Since the day we met, he’s always been in the back of your mind, clouding your judgment.”

“No, Dawson, that’s not true,” I screamed.

“It is. You’ll see. You just have to take a step back and see him for what he is. If I’m wrong, then I’m sure he’ll be at home waiting for you. If I’m not, he’s taken off to find the next city for Jet Set.”

I reached across my desk and grabbed my cell. Dawson kept talking but I wasn’t listening to him anymore. I had to find Jeremy. I called him again. No answer. I called again and again. No answer.

“Well?”

I was shaking my head, trying to block out his words.

“Put your phone down so we can talk. I’ll give you the money you need to save TSC right now, Phoebe.”

I turned to him, anger swelling inside me. “I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“I’m who you turned me into,” he laughed sardonically.

“No.”

“Yes. You asked me to wait for you. You told me you needed a break. And then on the day that was supposed to be our wedding, you go home with the guy you cried on my shoulder about for so long. I’m who you made me.”

I gaped at him. “I never want to see you again.”

He took my arm. “Phoebe, you don’t mean that.”

I ran out and left him in my office.

He called after me. “Don’t tell me you’d give it all up for
love
.”

All I could think was
yes, yes I would
.

The last words I heard him say were, “If you change your mind, you can call me.”

I rushed to the elevator and down to the lobby. I was clutching my phone in my hand, willing it to ring.

In the cab, I left message after message—Jeremy’s phone was now going directly to voice mail. When I got to his loft, he wasn’t there. I searched upstairs and all I saw was the screen saver staring back at me from his computer. It was the photo he had texted to himself the night we went to the garage with Jamie and Lindsay. That seemed like a lifetime ago. There was no sign of him anywhere. In fact, I wouldn’t have known he’d even been back if the mail hadn’t been tossed across the counter. I looked through it since I didn’t know what to do next and found an opened letter from the correctional institution in Butner. It was a notice of his father’s parole hearing set for next month.

But there was nothing else.

Frantically, I called Jamie. “I need you,” I said.

“Where are you?”

“I’m at Jeremy’s loft.”

“I’ll be right there.”

But I knew I was too late—Jeremy had left me again.

I could feel it.

And just like that, I was lost again.

Lost Again

He had disappeared.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and even Monday went by in a haze.

I stayed with Jamie and Lindsay and I’m not sure I ever got out of bed. I checked my phone every hour, but there were no calls from Jeremy. I ignored all the others.

Jeremy had indeed just vanished. Whether it was out of anger or greed, I didn’t know. Jamie tried to reach him but it was obvious by then he’d turned his phone off. Jamie had even gone over to the loft a few times, but there was no sign of him.

He was gone.

On Monday night, a familiar voice whispered in my ear. “Come on, St. Claire, I’m taking you home.”

It was Lily and I threw my arms around her.

“You look like shit,” she said.

I started to cry.

“Hey, come on now, I’m only kidding. You’re beautiful. You know that.”

I cried only harder, burying my head in her neck.

“Just let her stay here.” Jamie’s voice was soft.

“No, she has to get up.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. I’ve failed the company, and my parents.”

“No, darling, no, you haven’t. TSC has been faltering for years. If anything you saved it. Without your improvements to daily operations, it would be worthless.”

“Mom?” I asked.

“Yes, I’m here.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“Oh God no. I love you, you know that.”

“But what will you do for money?”

“Oh Phoebe darling, I’m a survivor. I’ll be fine. I’ve put the house on the market and I’ll find a place and wait for your father to return.”

She was stronger than I thought.

“And I’ll help any way I can.” It was Mrs. Bardot.

“So will we.” The voices came in unison.

I sat up and looked around. The room was filled with everyone I loved—Poppy, Jamie, Lindsay, Logan, Lily, Emmy, Mrs. Bardot, and even Danny.

“Danny, what are you doing here?”

He shrugged. “I came home early for the holidays,” he said, but I knew he had really come for me.

But why?

Alarm traveled through my body. “What’s going on? Why are you all here?”

My mother cleared her throat and came to sit next to me on the bed. She took my hand.

Panic replaced alarm and tore through me. “Tell me. Is it Jeremy?”

She shook her head. “No one has heard from him,” she said grimly. “But something has happened.”

“What?” I cried.

“As of this morning, we no longer own controlling shares of TSC.”

I stared at her. “How? Why? Who?” One-word questions were all I could manage.

She shook her head. “The shares have diluted so much over the past months, and we’ve had to sell so much. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just happened.”

“Who owns controlling interest?” It didn’t really matter; the company was near worthless at this point.

She seemed hesitant to answer me.

“Mom?”

She sighed. “Hunter traced the transactions and found twelve smaller companies that had been buying up shares. They were funneled through a single holding company though.”

“Who was it?” I asked, wondering why anyone would want controlling interest of a going nowhere company.

“The name of the company is J Truman.”

My stomach wrenched. “Jeremy’s father? How? He’s still in prison.”

Tears were now streaming down my mother’s face. “This J Truman isn’t Justin, it’s Jeremy.”

“No, no, he’d never do that.”

My mother’s expression was filled with anguish. “Hunter verified everything. It was him.”

“No,” I shrieked. “No!”

I grabbed my phone and called Jeremy. It still went to voice mail. This time I left a message. A simple one: “Why?”

I knew why though.

To distract me and take over my company.

But he hadn’t foreseen the sex club leak and that’s what ruined his plan. That’s why he took Dawson’s offer?

Of course.

I had just blinded myself to what I must have known down deep was the truth—he came back to use me.

To get his revenge on my father.

I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom.

How could I be so stupid?

My phone was still in my hand when it beeped. It was a message from Jeremy. It read:

Him: Believe in me.

Believe in him?

Believe in him!

He answers me now, when he knows I’m doubting him and with that message. Is he kidding me? Enraged, I threw my phone across the small room and screamed.

Bastard!

There was a soft knock on the door. “Phoebe. Are you okay?” My mother came in. “Come on, come home with me.”

I nodded. I needed my mother and she was here for me. I realized it was the first time she probably knew I needed her and I wept for my own stupidity.

Over the next two days, I awoke in my childhood bed but refused to get up. All of my friends stopped by, sat with me, tried to comfort me, and tried to get me up, but I couldn’t move.

I felt lost, completely broken, like my heart had been ripped from my chest.

Jeremy still hadn’t returned, as far as I knew anyway.

And I shouldn’t have cared—but I did.

Where was he?

I still loved him. I didn’t want to, but I did.

I started to doubt what was right before my eyes. What we had was real. I knew it except all the evidence pointed to him wanting to take over TSC.

A pang of guilt flashed through me. Where the hell was he? I wanted him to face me in person. Suddenly I knew one person who could tell me and I swallowed my dislike for her and grabbed my phone.

The number wasn’t hard to find.

“Jet Set Miami.” Kat’s voice hadn’t changed. It still made my skin crawl.

I cleared my throat. “Kat?”

“Yes,” she said.

“This is Phoebe.”

Silence.

“Phoebe St. Claire,” I clarified.

“Yes, I know who it is. What do you want?” The coldness in her words didn’t hinder my mission.

“I’m worried about Jeremy. Do you know where he is?”

Her laugh echoed through the phone line. “Are you kidding me?”

The phone slipped in my suddenly sweaty palm. “No. I need to talk to him.”

She gave a huff. “I suggest you give Richie Rich a ring and let him enlighten you.”

I drew in an angry breath. “Kat, if you’re referring to Dawson, I’m not on speaking terms with him.”

That shut her up.

“Kat?”

“For fuck’s sake, don’t tell me you didn’t take his offer?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t you have taken the money?” Kat said in a low, hard voice. “Jeremy doesn’t have the kind of money you are looking for from investors. And Dawson was the only way to stop your empire from collapsing.”

So she’d talked to Jeremy. “Please, tell me where he is. I need to see him.”

“Did you not hear me?”

“I don’t care about the money right now. I need to talk to Jeremy.”

“Listen Phoebe, I’m going to give you some advice. Leave him alone. It’s better for each of you,” she said, and then hung up.

I clutched my phone.

Where are you, Jeremy?

Late Thursday night my mother came in my room with a concerned look on her face.

“What is it?” I asked, pulling the covers under my chin.

“A board meeting has been called for tomorrow and we both have to be there.”

I nodded.

“There’s something else. Starwood Hotels contacted Hunter. They are interested in buying TSC.”

“Mom, no. We can’t sell.”

“Well, as of right now, it’s not our decision. But I want to tell you, he worked out a tremendous deal. Starwood would take possession of all US hotels, except for the two in the city; those would remain under TSC and Starwood will change the name of all the hotels and let us keep ours.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Because those were the terms we worked out.”

“We?”

“Yes, I joined efforts with Hunter this week. I should have been helping you all along. I’m so sorry I haven’t.”

“But still, why would Starwood agree to those terms?”

“Because they see the value of the chain. The value you have built.”

I smiled for the first time in a week.

“Now, we have to convince the majority of the new shareholders this is the right decision for TSC.”

My smile faded.

“We’re not sure who is going to show up tomorrow. So don’t look so grim. J Truman is a holding company, which means the actual shareholders of the stocks need to attend the vote. And hopefully those people will have level heads on their shoulders and see the benefit of selling. It’s a fair price and they stand to make a good deal of money.”

“Have you talked to Dad?” I asked hoarsely.

She nodded. “He’s on board. He helped Hunter and me come up with the terms. He wanted you to have a part of the legacy to hold on to—it was his idea to carve the New York hotels out of the deal.”

Then I started to cry.

I lost our family legacy.

I did that.

“No tears. You have to be strong.”

I nodded. I knew I did.

“And you have to take a shower,” my mother quipped.

I laughed as she hugged me.

She stayed with me, fell asleep in my bed stroking my hair. She hadn’t done that since I was ten. I wondered then if I just hadn’t seen that she was always there for me but I never let her know I needed her.

As she lay beside me, I couldn’t help but wonder if life takes us on a path for a reason . . . and if sometimes where you landed was right where you were always supposed to be.

I didn’t remember my dreams that night, but whatever they were I knew it wasn’t of ruby red lips. They must have been peaceful, because when I awoke Friday morning, it was with a renewed outlook.

I’d spent so much of my life feeling lost. Seeking freedom from the name I was born with, when if I had just embraced it all along, I might have seen how very strong I really was. It wasn’t money that defined who I was, it was me. Just me.

And I wasn’t weak.

Not anymore anyway.

I was going to fight for what was mine.

On more than one front.

With a clear head, I jumped out of bed and took an extra-long shower, and then I got ready for my day with a vengeance. I pulled on the pencil skirt my mother had lent me and then buttoned the sheer blouse, which would thankfully be covered by what I discovered was a tight-fitting jacket. Normally I didn’t wear such constrictive clothing but I felt powerful in the suit nonetheless. Still, when I slipped on her red-soled Louboutins, I had to fight the urge to kick them off.

I looked every bit like my mother.

Then I realized, maybe that wasn’t so bad.

The board meeting wasn’t until eleven, so my mother said she’d meet me there. I could see the pride in her eyes as I left for work that morning.

Was she always my biggest supporter and I just hadn’t seen it?

None of us had spoken of Dawson, but everyone knew about what happened. Jamie had told them. As far as I was concerned, Dawson was out of my life.

But unlike Dawson, Jeremy, although gone, was still very much in my heart. I’d spent so much time thinking about everything and once my temper had cooled, I refused to believe he’d really abandoned me. But where was he? Why was he ignoring my calls and messages? I didn’t want to believe he’d done what everyone said he had. But something had happened. I’d seen it that last night we’d spent together. He’d turned me off.

I didn’t know why.

But I wanted him to explain it.

However, today I had to focus on work and then, after the board meeting, I was going to find Jeremy and put it all out there.

Even if he was done with me, he owed me an explanation if nothing else.

The office was practically empty when I arrived but as I was walking down the hallway, I felt a strange familiar presence stir in my belly. I couldn’t shake it. When I passed by the boardroom, something compelled me to glance in.

My body trembled with way too many emotions to bear and the air whooshed from my lungs.

It was him.

Jeremy McQueen.

His back was to me, but I’d know him anywhere. Long, lean, and confident, he stood glancing out the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the park. My body tingled and I cursed my reaction but I couldn’t prevent it. I still loved him with reckless abandon.

He turned and as his eyes flashed to mine, he smiled at me. Not in a rueful, or devilish, or charming, or even lustful way. It was that look of love I’d seen whenever he was watching me and didn’t know I was looking.

The room started to spin. I eased my way back and dug into my palms with my nails to keep myself from falling into his lustful haze.

He strode toward me. “I did it.” He beamed.

My heart sank with his vile admission and I couldn’t prevent the anger I’d been holding back from flooding my body. Was he seriously bragging about taking over TSC? Had my faith in him been that misguided? My throat tightened as I tried to speak but nothing came out. My hands shook so badly, my fingers couldn’t even keep hold of the straps of my purse. I don’t know what came over me but before I knew it, I was slamming my fists against his chest. “How could you,” I cried. “How could you?”

He caught my wrists and looked genuinely confused. “What is the matter with you?”

I sighed and my voice lost its strength as I spoke. “What’s the matter with me? You used me to steal my company to satisfy your own perverted sense of revenge.”

Jeremy dropped my wrists and pain arrested his features. “No,” he spat.

Everything about his gorgeous face was suddenly wrong and I couldn’t bear it. “I thought you loved me. But all you wanted to do was distract me so you could take everything from me while my father was away.”

He visibly paled right before me. “Stop right there. Don’t say things you’ll regret. Sit down. We need to talk.”

“There is nothing left to talk about.”

Jeremy let out an exaggerated exhale and reached for me.

I flinched and jerked away.

Slowly turning his head, his jaw tightened as he spoke. “How about you let me explain,” he tried again.

Exhaling shakily, I courageously stepped toward him. “What exactly do you want to explain? How you’ve been convincing companies to buy stock in TSC for over a year? Or how you manipulated me right under my nose and now you control my worthless company?” Bile rose in my throat with each and every bitter word.