Toys and Baby Wishes (20 page)

Tom rolled up the blueprints and stuffed them in a cardboard
tube.  "That's fine."

Josh had a stop to make at the jewelers before he went home
to change for Lexa's award dinner.  He extended his hand and shook Tom's. 
"I'll be waiting to hear from you."

Josh left Norman's office with a sense of urgency.  This was
it.  The most important night of his life.  He couldn't wait for it to begin.

***

Lexa heard the apartment door shut and she called to Josh
from his bedroom.  "I'm in here.  We're both running late."  When he
appeared in the doorway, she asked, "Have you been with the contractor
again?"

She was pulling sheer hose up her legs.  The sight was
pleasurable and as always when he looked at her, desire stirred.  "Yes. 
And I had to do some last minute Christmas shopping."

Lexa stood.  "For me?" she asked impishly.

His attitude was smug.  "Maybe."  The box in his
pocket was for Christmas, but he'd ask the question tonight.  He stripped off
his shirt and trousers.  "It's nothing for you to be concerned with right
now.  Are you jittery about the dinner?"

"I had an acceptance speech all prepared, but the more
I think about it, it sounds stilted."

Josh rifled through his closet for a clean white shirt. 
"Just say what's in your heart.  You don't need a speech."

Lexa had decided to dress at Josh's so they could leave
together.  She was glad she had.  She could share her excitement but calm her
nerves.  She took a flame-colored dress from its hanger and dropped it over her
head, but she had trouble trying to raise the back zipper.

Josh stepped into the slacks of his navy blue suit, fastened
them, and went to help Lexa.  He pulled up the zipper, ran his hands up her
exposed back and buttoned the button at the back of her neck.  Turning her
around, he placed his hands on her hips and with undisguised desire viewed the
halter top clinging seductively to her breasts.

"You're a siren tonight, Alexandra Kittredge.  Enough
to drive a man out of his mind.  I don't think I want anyone else ogling
you."

Lexa played her fingers down the middle of his chest,
stopping at the waist of his trousers.  "And you're too handsome for your
own good.  When the women at this shindig see you..."  She affected a sigh
and rolled her eyes.

"Then we're the perfect couple.  So perfect that maybe
we should do something about it."

"We don't have time," she joked.

"That wasn't what I had in mind."  He could see
she didn't understand.  He wondered why the words were suddenly so hard to get
out.  What if she said 'no'?  What if she didn't want to get married?  They
hadn't talked about it.

"Josh?" she asked.

"I didn't think this would be so hard."

"What?"

"You really have no idea?"

"Do you want me to guess?  Are we going to play twenty
questions?"

His hands tightened on her waist.  "I don't want to
play, not right now anyway.  I want to know if you'll marry me."

The hoarseness of his voice, the importance of the question,
made her knees weak.  "What?"

"What do I have to do?  Get down on one knee?  Will you
marry me?"

"Are you sure?" she asked breathlessly.

"I'm sure.  I've never been more sure of anything in my
life.  I love you, Alexandra Kittredge.  More than I ever thought possible.  I
want to set up housekeeping, go on a honeymoon, and start preparing to raise
our family."  His whole body was tense until she threw her arms around his
neck and he heard, "Yes, Josh.  Yes.  I'll marry you.  Of course, I'll
marry you."

His lips swooped down and kissed hers with bruising
intensity.  His tongue darted into hers, passionately stroked, lovingly swept
until they were both breathing raggedly.  When he released her, he said
huskily, "This is the damnedest time to be going to a dinner."

She smiled shakily and suddenly looked worried.  "Maybe
it won't last too long."

"Fat chance," he muttered.  "I've got lousy
timing. I was going to wait until we came home, but I couldn't hold it
in."

"I'm glad."  She stroked his cheek.  "I love
you, Josh.  I want to be your wife.  When we get home, I'll show you exactly
how much."

"You think knowing that is going to help me get through
an evening with you sitting at a head table not even close enough to
touch?" 

"The touching will come later," she promised.

"You're not helping, Lexa," he growled.

She smiled coyly and let her hands roam across his
shoulders.  "Are you complaining?"

"I am.  I want to make love to you now."

She dropped her hands and stepped back.  "All good
things come to those who wait."

"You're a tease," he grumbled, brought her into
his chest for a hard kiss, then intentionally set her away.  "Finish
dressing before I decide to undress you."

A half hour later, Josh sat at a table with Clare and other
people with whom Lexa had worked on sundry committees.  He made polite
conversation but kept his eyes on Lexa as she spoke with the mayor, who was
seated on her right and another recipient for an award on her left.  He
marveled at the way she could make herself at home anywhere with anyone.  He
imagined her with a baby in her arms, her eyes glistening with love as she
rocked a child--their child--to sleep.  She was a remarkable woman who would
make a remarkable mother.

Clare elbowed Josh.  "You're staring."

Josh grinned.  "That lady's going to be my wife."

"Does she know that?" Clare inquired with a smile.

"I asked her tonight and she said yes.  So you can go
shopping for something to wear to the wedding."

"Have you set a date?" Clare asked.

"Not yet.  But I want it to be soon.  There's no reason
to wait."

"If Lexa wants a church wedding or a reception, you
might have to wait.  Weddings take planning."

"I never thought of that.  I'd like to elope.  No fuss,
no bother."

"Now, Josh.  A wedding day is the most important day in
a woman's life, and Lexa has so many friends she might want to share it with. 
Don't deprive her of the joy and excitement."

"Can't she have the joy and excitement without a big
production?"

"Maybe."

Josh took the napkin from his lap and placed it on the
table.  "We'll do whatever she wants.  I want to make her happy."

Clare looked at her nephew fondly.  "With that
attitude, you will."

The president of the Women For A Better America Organization
tapped the microphone for quiet and then introduced herself.  After she made a
short speech, she announced, "I'd like to present to you the recipient of
our Service Award.  This woman has chosen a service career, a career that is
more of a vocation than a means of earning a living.  I have known Lexa for
three years and I can't begin to count the number of people she has counseled
and for whom she has found employment.  But she doesn't stop there.  She
carries her skills and expertise into her free time."

"Lexa has been an instrumental force in making senior
citizens not feel like second class citizens.  She has been involved with
Project Literacy as long as I've known her.  She has an inordinate amount of
patience both when teaching an adult to read or when sitting through a boring
meeting to go through the proper channels to get a new program started. 
Because of her lobbying and perseverance, this city will have a Teen Center.  And now without further accolades, I present to you this year's Service Award
recipient, Alexandra Kittredge."

Lexa walked to the podium with her knees shaking.  When Josh
had asked her to marry him, she'd been thrilled, ecstatic...and afraid.  She'd
wanted to tell him right then about her inability to have children.  But they
needed time to talk about it; she didn't want to just drop it in his lap and
run.  So she'd been worrying all evening, trying to prepare herself for
whatever his reaction would be.  And now...she'd forgotten her prepared speech.

She reached the lectern.  The lights were bright, the
microphone daunting.  She tried to still her trembling, but her hand shook when
she rested it on the wood surface.  She looked out into the crowd, and she
spotted Josh.  His eyes were shining, steady, and spoke to her.  You're fine. 
You're mine.  She knew in her deepest heart she wanted to be his forever.

She smiled directly at him and realized her prepared speech
didn't matter.  What mattered was what she truly felt in her heart and how much
Josh meant to her.  "I want to thank everyone who helped make this award
possible.  I haven't done any of this alone.  After all, we are a nation of
committees, aren't we?  And somehow despite red tape, we as people come
together and make something happen.  Whether we are feeding the hungry, helping
to improve living conditions or giving teens a place to go to have wholesome
fun, we are people helping each other.  I used to feel that compassion was all
that was necessary.  As long as we had compassion and cared enough, the world
could change.  But in the last few months I've discovered compassion has a
friend."  She paused.  "That friend is love."

Her voice gaining strength, she continued, "When we are
surrounded by love, our compassion has new meaning.  It might be more
selective, but it has a greater strength.  Combined with love, our compassion
can give others not our excess energy, not just what we don't need for
ourselves, but it can give others our best, the very essence of who we are.  I
want to thank all those people who have supported me, encouraged me and loved
me."

She held up the award and looked straight at Josh. 
"Thank you for helping me learn how to receive as well as give.  Because
in receiving, I can give more."

When she left the podium, the audience applauded.  Josh felt
proud enough to burst.  He loved this lady, and he welcomed the happiness he
experienced at her achievement.  And he hoped when they got home tonight, she
could truly open her heart to him.

By the time Lexa extricated herself from admirers and well
wishers, she just wanted to go back to Josh's apartment and be held in his
arms.  In the car they didn't speak as Josh laid his hand on Lexa's knee and
she caressed the top of his fingers.  After he parked at his apartment, he
opened her door for her, wrapped his arm around her waist and walked her up the
stairs.

After Josh closed the door, he flicked on the light and
stared at Lexa.  She unbuttoned her coat and laid it over the sofa.  Because he
was still staring at her intently, she asked, "What?"

He lined her upper lip with his finger, let it trail down
her throat to the high neck of her dress.  "Do you know how proud I was of
you tonight?"

"No."

"I wanted to stand up and shout, 'This terrific lady is
going to marry me'."

"Oh, Josh."  She gave him a kiss that was
ineffably tender.

Josh's body responded to her gift.  He spread his legs,
pulled her into himself, and caressed her back slowly, stroking in sensuous
circles until she rubbed her breasts against him to create more excitement.

His fingers were fumbling with the button at the back of her
neck when her cell phone sounded from her purse.  When the chirping persisted,
he tore away.

Lexa gave him an apologetic smile but knew she had to
check.  It was Dani.

Josh listened as she answered.

"Hi, Dani.  Can I call you back–?"

Josh knew there was trouble when her words cut off and then
he heard Lexa ask, "What's wrong?"..."You what?  You can't be
serious."  Lexa's face lost all its color.  "You can't!  How do you
know he means it?"..."Dani, what if he walks out
again?"..."You don't know that!"..."Will he be satisfied
doing that?"..."Aren't we going to talk about this?"... Lexa's
thumb rubbed between her brows as if she had a headache.  "I'll be home as
soon as I can.  Tell Dad not to wait up.  If I come tonight, I'll let myself
in.  Dani, please don't make a rash decision.  We have to talk.  Okay?"

When Lexa ended the call, Josh dropped his arm around her
shoulders.  "What happened?"

Her voice wasn't quite steady.  "Rob has changed his
mind.  He wants to marry Dani and she's going to keep the baby."

Josh pulled Lexa to him and held her.  After a few minutes,
she leaned back.  "I can't believe that she thinks he means it.  He didn't
stand beside her before.  Why does she think he will now?"

"Maybe he's had a change of heart."

"Oh, puh-leez," she drawled sarcastically as she
pulled out of his embrace as if she could think more clearly that way. 
"If he wasn't mature and responsible four months ago, he won't be
now."

"Lexa, you usually give people the benefit of the
doubt."

"Not when they're playing with other people's lives. 
What if a month from now, two months from now, Rob decides he doesn't want all
that responsibility?  Or worse yet, what if he doesn't realize how he feels
until the baby's born and then walks out?"

An involuntary grunt of chagrin escaped Josh's mouth. 
"That's the worst possible scenario."

"Yes, it is.  And Dani has to realize it could
happen."

"Have you ever met Rob?" Josh asked, wanting to
reassure Lexa and comfort her without knowing how.

"I've spoken with him three or four times.  Material
success is important to him.  All he wanted to do was graduate and get a job
with an ad agency in New York.  Now Dani tells me he's going to go into his
dad's business after graduation.  His dad sells tires and Rob's going to do the
PR work.  How long is he going to be satisfied with that?"

Josh's heart ached for Lexa.  She was denying what she
didn't want to accept.  "Maybe he realizes a wife and family are more
important than a high-powered job."

Lexa backed away from Josh and eyed him warily.  "Why
are you defending him?"

"Maybe he needs a chance to prove himself."