True (16 page)

“I want to be buried inside you when I come.”

He laced his fingers with mine and led me back to our bedroom.

We lay beside each other completely naked and slowly savored one another. Alex was nipping at the side of my neck as I ran my hands along his body and down his taut stomach, one leg resting over his hip. He slid his hard-on along my wet folds, both of us moaning from the contact and enjoying the tease. When his mouth found mine, he moved so that he was on top of me, nestled in the right spot between my thighs.

He framed my face with his hands, and he plunged his tongue into my mouth unhurried. I couldn't stop my hips from grinding against him. His touch was setting my body on fire. We had made love before, but tonight it felt different. My heart was wide open to him. I had agreed to be his wife. To be forever his and he forever mine. The vulnerability in that was freeing; to give yourself to someone completely and to be given the same in return. It was almost as if we were discovering each other for the first time.

When he finally slid inside me, I was so swollen and wet for him that I had to take several deep breaths in order to stop myself from coming immediately.

Our eyes stayed locked on each other as we whispered words of love, forever and to always be each other’s true.

“I love you so much it hurts.” Alex murmured. “Promise that you will always be mine.”

“I promise. I will always be yours.”

“Good. Because I honestly don’t think I can live without you.” He let me see his unprotected heart in his eyes, and it broke me into a million pieces. I knew I would never let him go.

We rocked slowly together until I felt my insides tighten around him, and his stomach muscles started to contract simultaneously. We let the sensation have us, this overwhelming love our bodies have created. We laced our fingers and held each other's eyes as we fell over the edge of bliss together.

Chapter Sixteen

Present
.

My fingers caressed the necklace around my neck, having put it on at the girls’ insistence, only just now able to admire it as I stared at in the bathroom mirror. It was
beautiful, and custom made by Fire and Ash Designs according to the silk liner inside the box. I had never heard of it and made a mental note to research it later.

After I’d opened the gift, things became even more awkward between Alex and me, as if that were even possible. I had also left my Christmas gifts for him under the tree. Some memorabilia from his favorite football team and a new carry-on bag for travel since his current one is looking worn. None were as thoughtful as his gift to me. In fact, the necklace was probably the nicest thing he had ever given me.

The rest of the day was spent helping the girls with their new toys. Alex took them on a long bike ride while I prepared Christmas dinner. Everything seemed very normal. My mom and dad stopped by, followed by Macy, Judd and the baby. The girls Skyped with Alex's parents for a while, showing off their gifts. I allowed myself to fantasize that things were okay. Maybe if I acted as though things were fine, maybe it would project onto him. Maybe it would make it easier for him to talk to me.

Why did I feel like each minute that passed by I died a little inside at the very real possibility that I had lost him.

Later that night, after dinner and the girls, were settled in their beds. I watched Alex leave. We never did talk.

*****

The following night I hear his key unlock the front door. I hold my breath as I walk down the stairs. It is two in the morning and I have been unable to sleep. All I can do was lie awake and think about all the ways that I’ve fucked everything up, my marriage and all that is important to me and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to fix it.

In the entrance hallway, I see Alex stumble through the door and lean back against it clumsily as he closes it.

“Alex? Are you drunk?” He straightens his spine at my words and narrows his hazy eyes at me. He studies me for a moment as he bites down sexily on his bottom lip. I look down to see that I am wearing one of his old t-shirts that only reached the top of my thighs. My legs are bare. The only other stitch of clothing I have on are a pair of panties.

“Alex?” I question a second time, but he only pushes himself away from the door and walked straight to me. I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest as the look of lust in his eyes was replaced by anger.

“I hate you.” He hisses with his face just a few inches from mine. I could feel the tears forming at the power from which those words hit me.

“I am so sorry.” I choke out. “Alex, I never meant for any of this to happen. It was so stupid. So fucking stupid. I should have ta
lked to you. I shouldn't have--”

“Fucked someone else!” He roars, looking on the edge of violence.

“I didn't! Alex, I didn't have sex with him. He...he k…kissed me.” God it was so hard to say those words out loud. “But we didn't--”

“Shut up! Just fucking shut up. Lies! All of it! What makes you think I'd believe a word out of your lying, cheating mouth?” Alex has never spoken to me that way before. The look on my face must have clued into the shock I was feeling at his words.

“Oh, yeah. You are a liar and a sneak. I asked you how the knocker on the front door got fixed. You told me the neighbor did it. Well, I went over to thank Larry for fixing it and felt like a fucking idiot when he had no idea what I was talking about!” Then he stepped away from me and began to pace back and forth. “Then,” He lets out a deranged chuckle. “Fucking, touchy-feely Fiona, you know Abby's mom, the one who always tries to find ways to grope me. A detail you seem to be oblivious to?” When my eyes widen in recognition he continues, “Yeah, her. Well, she was all too happy to inquire if things were okay between us since she'd seen you holding hands with another man at Olivia's dance recital. Needless to say, she offered to console me.” He continues to pace while studying me with narrow eyes.

“The thought of you being with another man, Court, I couldn't handle it. I knew then! The night I saw you there with him that something was wrong. I just didn't know what to do about it. I thought if we moved away from everything it would give me a chance to fix all this before anything could happen. I knew things weren’t good but I wanted a fair shot. I didn’t want to risk competing with someone else. I now realize that my plan is what put all of this into motion. If I only hadn't tried to force you...”

“Alex, stop it! It's my fault, not yours.” I reached out to lay a hand on his chest, but he pulled back with a hiss as if I'd burned him. “I should have talked to you. You didn't deserve this.”

“You're right. I didn't deserve any of this. I certainly didn't deserve the text message I received that you had booked a hotel room in Talbot Beach with my goddamn credit card.”

Shit! I had totally forgotten about the text alerts. We both get them when anyone makes a purchase on the credit card for over two hundred dollars. The Bella Vista is four hundred dollars a night. At the time, I wasn't thinking, and I definitely didn't pay attention to the fact that it was Alex's credit card.

“Yeah, so that's how I knew where to find you. I caught the next flight home and drove out there just in time to see you walking and holding hands with that son of a bitch on the fucking beach. Like the two of you were in one of those goddamn resort brochures. I wanted to run up to you both right then and pound his face in but I waited. I wanted to see it all. So I followed you back to the hotel, and I watched you willingly go into the room. I wanted to die.” He lost the clarity he was speaking with as the slurring came back. “Just fucking die.”

At this point, I am openly sobbing as I listened to his recount of that night. I can imagine him getting the message, all the questions that must have run through his head as he drove out to Talbot Beach. All the times he tried to call me only to have me ignore them and finally the way he must have felt watching Justin and I all night.

“Alex,” My voice barely a whisper. “I'm so ashamed of that and everything I've done. You don't know how much I wish I could take it all back. I don't even know who that person was.”

“Why?” His soft slurred words were directed to the floor. “Just fucking tell me why?” The anger returned to his voice. As he took two steps in my direction, the front of our bodies are nearly touching. “Am I not enough for you? Does he give you want you need better than me?”

I shook my head frantically, not able to speak as I stared up at the fury and possessiveness that shined in his eyes. The muscles between my legs clenched involuntarily in response. God, that look was hot. Something is seriously wrong with me.

“When you're with me do you think of him?” Again, I shake my head immediately. I can feel my nipples harden, and my skin begin to crave his touch.

“How about right now?” He was so close to me that I could smell the liquor on his breath as it brushed across my cheek. He lowered his head next to mine as he ground his erection into my hip. “Do you want him or me?”

“You, Alex.” I answer instantly.

“I don't believe you.” He forces me all the way back until his body is crushing me to the wall. His hands pull up the hem of my t-shirt, and he slips his fingers into my panties. He lets out a low groan as he finds the warm wetness waiting there.

“Is this for me?” My only response was to grind myself into his fingers, and he moved them against my slick folds. “Does he make you feel like this?” He growls and rotates his hand as he slides two fingers inside of me. My moans become louder as he pumps his hand roughly, working me against the wall while he whispers possessive things in my ear. I'd never seen him like this before. He was always dominant in bed, but this side of him was so hot. He bites my nipple hard through my t-shirt as his two fingers swipe relentlessly at my G-spot. His thumb is making quick circles against my clit and I bite my bottom lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure. I can tell that his hand is completely soaked from my wetness based on the sounds that echo around us. Suddenly the orgasm that was quickly building takes over my body as I came the hardest I ever had, around his fingers as he slipped a third one in, stretching me and absorbing my muscle's contractions, it seemed to prolong the feeling for what seems like seconds, minutes, eternity. I had no idea as I let him hold me up while I let the feelings and sensations own my body as tears streamed down my face.

“Did you come like that for him?” Guilt broke through the post orgasmic haze as I focused my eyes on his face. The hurt and arousal taking turns flashing in his eyes. I answer his question honestly, never breaking contact.

“No.” Because it was the truth. I didn't come like this with Justin. Not even close. I've just had the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life and now it's ruined. “God, Alex. I...” before I could say anymore, he pulls my shirt over my head and grabs a hold of the sides of my panties and rips them. Yes, rips then away with one hard tug. He unzips his jeans and lets them fall to the floor as he reached down, lifted my legs around his waist and entered me in one sharp thrust.

“Can you feel this? This is me fucking you against the wall. This is my cock inside your pussy right now.” I was already trying my best to keep my head from rolling to the side in pure bliss. I reached my arms up to wrap around his neck to pull him close, as soon as our chests collide, he groaned but it wasn't with pleasure as he instantly pulled back slightly. He must have injured himself somehow when he was drunk. I tried to unbutton the top of his shirt to look for the source of his pain, but I stopped as his thrust become more powerful. My orgasm was building once again. “Please.” I cry out as I try to connect my mouth on his. I was about to thrust my tongue inside, but he pulled away, opting to bury his face in my neck instead. I love to kiss him during sex. I wanted his tongue in my mouth while he pushed himself inside of me. Nothing could make me come faster than that. His denial of that stung, especially when he knew how much I liked it. Soon, all thought other than reaching the release my body craved was all that was important. Our combined moans and grunts were the only sounds in the darkened house. Our slick skin caused for better movements as our bodies collided over and over.

“Fucking come now and I want to hear you say the name whose cock is doing this to you.” And I did it on command. I let my body beg for his forgiveness as I released every ounce of love I felt for him, and I let it all go as his name left my lips over and over. A few more thrusts from him, then he shuttered and groaned against my neck as he poured himself into me.

We stayed joined for a moment before he pulled out and dragged his pants up. The hallway was very dark, and I couldn't see where he had thrown my shirt and my poor panties were lying in shreds next to me. I just awkwardly stood there naked, wondering what to do next.

“I fucking loved you, Court.” He eventually says in a calm and deceptively quiet voice.
Loved.

Before I realize what I was doing, I had fallen to my knees and wrapped my arms around his legs.

“Please, Alex. Please.” I didn't know what exactly I was begging him for. To not leave, to still love me. To stop looking at me with hurt and hatred. I'm pretty sure it was all of the above. He lifted his head to stare up at the ceiling for a moment as if contemplating what to do next. Finally, he tugs me to my feet and takes my hand, pulling me through the house and up to our room, where he alternated between making love to me and fucking me twice more. When he did remove his shirt, there was a large bandage on the left side of his chest. When I asked him about it he shrugged it off. He was clearly not in the mood to share what happened. He cut off my questions by kissing me instead. We kissed as he moved in and out of me just the way I liked and all else outside the physical connections of Court and Alex was forgotten.