Trust Me (Beggar's Choice #2) (16 page)

“Now Miss Slater let’s have a
look at you,” the doctor says with a strong German accent and pushes the
blanket aside.

“I’ll wait outside,” Sid says
awkwardly but I put my hand out to him instantly.

“Please stay.”

“Okay honey.” He lowers himself
behind me instantly and kisses my shoulder. The doctor gives him a shrewd look
and then proceeds to look me over. Sid’s expression tightens every time I make
a noise of pain. The pain is centred round my arms and knees mainly, and it
flares brightly when the doctor flushes the cuts with iodine, although my whole
body feels like a truck hit it. I have a very bad headache and the back of my
skull is so tender I shrink when the doctor presses it. Sid winces more than I
do but he stays behind me, steadfastly holding my hand. When the doctor
enquires gently whether they’d done anything else to me he exhales roughly and
rests his head on my shoulder when I say no. Finally the doctor stands up.

“Well Miss Slater I think that
you had a lucky escape tonight. You show no signs of concussion and I don’t see
a need for a visit to the hospital. However, Mr Hudson should be on the lookout
for any unusual drowsiness or disorientation. If that happens he must take you
straight to the hospital. Try to go without washing your hair for 24 hours to
give the cut on the back of your head time to scab over. You’re going to have
some nasty bruising on your arms tomorrow and you’re lucky he didn’t dislocate
your arm, but a few days of resting them and you’ll be fine. Try not to get the
dressings on your knees wet. I’ll leave you some cream and spare dressings for
them. Other than that you’re going to be sore for a bit. Try not to walk
through empty parking lots on your own again Miss Slater. Nasty things happen
to women every day. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way.”

I nod gratefully because I know
that I have been stupid and stubborn. “Don’t worry she won’t be doing anything
like that again,” Sid says darkly and I sigh because I’m going to get a big
lecture when he knows I’m feeling okay again. There’s a knock on the door and
Bram slips in letting the doctor leave.

“The police are here,” he
whispers. “As far as they know he fell over when you pushed him off Nell. He’s
drunk and from what my meagre German tells me he’s already got a record. Stick
to what we said and we’ll be fine.”

“I don’t care,” Sid says sharply.
“I’d have gone to jail happily if he hurt her, you know that.”

“Well he didn’t.” Bram rubs his
shoulder briskly and then turns back to me looking at me with his bright hazel
eyes. “Here’s the lady herself. Are you okay sweetheart?” I nod gratefully and
he smiles at Sid. “Well there we go then. Cheer up motherfucker and come out
and charm the coppers.”

Sid grimaces. “I’ll go out now,”
he says to me. “I’ll send in Mabe honey. She went to get your clothes and stuff
and she’ll help you get changed and into bed when the police have seen you.”

“My stuff,” I say, struggling to
a sitting position and wincing at the pain in my arms. “What stuff?”

He hovers over me helping me to
sit up but his face is stern. “All your stuff. You’re moving onto this bus.”

“What? I am not. I’m perfectly
fine on the other one.”

“Really? Do you honestly want to
have this conversation now when I’ve still got a man’s blood on my knuckles?” I
shudder and he nods grimly. “Exactly. You’ll move on this bus and then we can
keep an eye on you. I know you told Bill that you wanted the other bus, but
here is safer and I’ll feel better knowing that you’re nearby and not getting
into trouble.”

“I never told Bill that,” I say
indignantly. “Where on earth did you get that idea?”

“Bill told me.”

“Well he was lying then because
he said
you’d
ordered that I went on
that
bus.”

“Motherfucker,” he hisses and
Bram stirs.

“Interesting as this is in a sort
of soap opera way, may I remind you that you still have to give a statement.
They wanted us all to go to the police station.”

“I’m going but the statements are
being given on the bus. Over my fucking dead body will they take Nell after
everything that’s happened tonight.”

Bram puts his hands up. “Okay,
okay Rambo calm down.”

“Whatever,” Sid says and turns to
me. “I’ll be back in a bit. Let Mabe get you ready and then talk to the police.
Don’t rush, they can fucking wait for a bit.”

He turns and leaves and Bram
looks at me and laughs. “Bossy bastard,” he says almost admiringly. “Well Nelly
you’re on the big boys’ bus now. Are you ready for that?”

***

I wake up later, disorientated and
very warm. I’m lying in bed burrowed under a mound of duvet and blankets.
There’s a lamp burning on a side table and struggling to get free I sit up and
run my hand through my hair enjoying the cooler air on my face. For a few
minutes I sit there allowing the events of the night to push through my head.
True to his word Sid had informed the police that they’d have to talk to me
here. They’d been kind and impersonal, but the revelation that my attacker had
a record for this seemed to make the whole interview fairly redundant. They
took my statement, gave me a lecture on personal safety and then left telling
me that I’d probably be required to make an appearance if it went to court, and
then Mabe appeared. Fussing over me she’d helped me to shower and then get into
my nightwear of a pair of pyjama shorts and a fitted camisole. Then she’d
helped me into bed. I’d protested saying that the bed was surely earmarked for
her and Charlie but she dismissed my concerns saying that they’d sleep in one
of the bunks. I gathered that Charlie wanted to keep an eye on Sid.

I’d lain back against the mound
of pillows and I must have fallen asleep quickly because Sid had woken me when
he’d slid into the bed and drawn me firmly into his arms. “Ssh sweetheart,”
he’d whispered. “I just need to hold you and know that you’re okay. Humour me.”
I’d given in quickly, overcome from the sheer pleasure of lying in his arms and
the feeling of utter safety that he always gives me, and I’d fallen quickly
back to sleep as he stroked my hair and hummed an unknown tune.

Now I’m awake and a quick glance
at my watch tells me that it’s 3am and I know that I’m not going back to sleep.
I slide out of bed and stand up, pausing while my aching body protests. Walking
over to a mirror set over a dressing table I examine my reflection. To my
surprise I look no different really apart from the fact that I’m very pale and
my eyes looks too big for my face. It’s when I look at my arms that I see
evidence of the night because they’re covered in finger shaped splotches that I
know will turn black in a few days.

I shiver a bit in the air
conditioned air and spying my bag by the door I rifle through it and find a
forest green hooded jumper which I pull on. As I straighten I hear the faint
strains of a guitar and I know that I’ve just found my missing man.

I open the door quietly and stand
for a second getting my bearings and swaying with the faint movement of the
bus. We must be on the way to the next gig. The boys’ bus is a two storey one
and I’m on the top floor where the sleeping area is. Looking out I can see
eight curtained bunks spaced out a lot further than on my bus. Further along I
can see the concealed lights that illuminate the stairway, so I make my way
along to that to the tune of faint snores and the sound of someone’s iPod
playing.

I make my way down the stairs and
pause because this bus is one of the most luxurious ones that I’ve ever been
on. It’s decorated in browns and creams with lots of walnut wood gleaming in
the recessed lights which gives the area a warm, inviting look. Downstairs
there’s a kitchenette with gleaming stainless steel appliances and a dining
area that will comfortably seat a group of people.

There’s an office area with a
MacBook sitting inactive with its screen glowing, but most of the space is
taken up with a sitting area which has two huge suede settees in it along with
a couple of leather recliners that will swivel to face the enormous flat screen
TV. There’s a mess of wires and controllers leading to an X Box and PlayStation
on the floor in front of the TV, but my attention is caught by Sid who is
sitting strumming his guitar with a pad and pen sitting on the settee next to
him. He’s not seen me yet so I relish the opportunity to watch him. He looks
sleepy and rumpled but still very focused as he plays the same chord a few
times over with subtle changes that he immediately writes down on the pad. The
tune sounds somewhat familiar.

“That’s the tune you were humming
earlier,” I say suddenly and he jumps about a foot in the air.

“Jesus Christ you startled me.”
He puts his hand to his chest in shock and then he exclaims and shoving his
guitar to the side he comes round to me and pushes me gently onto the settee.
Kneeling in front of me he strokes my hair back, his face a mask of concern.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” he scolds.

“I woke up and couldn’t go back
to sleep. I don’t sleep well,” I find myself confessing and he stills.

“I know the feeling,” he says
slowly. “I’ve never really slept.”

“So this is what you do?” I wave
my hand at the guitar and pad and he smiles with a wry twist of his lips.

“
Lately
this is what I
do.” He smiles sardonically and I catch on.

“Oh,” I say and to my horror I
sniff really loudly. He stares at me in consternation and I rush into speech.
“Oh no I didn’t mean
that
. It’s just the air conditioning. It plays
havoc with my sinuses and I sniff a lot. I wasn’t imitating you snorting coke
or anything.”

I’m interrupted by him throwing
his head back and laughing and for a second I stare at him relishing how young
and carefree he looks. I can’t help noticing that he’s only wearing a pair of
gym shorts which show off his olive skin stretched taut over long ropy muscles,
a six pack and a pair of cut and very biteable hipbones. His tattoos are on
full display, and he looks like a very sexy, rumpled bad boy. Catching my stare
he misinterprets it and looks anxious.

“Are you okay?” he asks in a low
voice and at my look of incomprehension he gestures at his body. “Being with me
when I’m dressed like this,” he elaborates. “I don’t know if you feel
comfortable or safe. If you don’t I can go and get Mabe and put a shirt on.” I
stretch out my hand to stop him.

“Sid, they never took their
clothes off so I haven’t got a fear of naked chests,” I say gently. “Also they
didn’t do anything more than grab me and push me around.”

“That was enough,” he says hotly.

“I know that and I’m not
underplaying it, but they didn’t have the chance to touch my body apart from
that and I haven’t been raped. That’s thanks to you so stop worrying about my
state of mind.”

“It must have been traumatic for
you.”

“It was but I’m realistic enough
to know that it could have been a whole lot worse, so I’ll deal with any
nightmares that come knowing I’m safe and that’s down to you.” Trying to
lighten the mood I smile. “Anyway I’ve seen you in a bit less than a pair of
shorts before, remember?”

However, his face darkens and he
stands up running his hands through his hair. “We need to talk about that,” he
says awkwardly and I sigh.

“It’s all right Sid we don’t have
to talk about it at all. I got the message before. I know you regret it so
let’s just put it behind us and maybe we can be friends?”

“Is that what you want?” He looks
almost stricken for a second and now I’m confused. I know that I want him and
I’m prepared after tonight to throw caution aside. However, I’d got it so fixed
in my head that he didn’t want to want me that I’m not prepared for this, and
now I’m terrified of saying the wrong words and scaring him off.

“I thought it was what you
wanted,” I say carefully. He stares at me for a second and then comes down on
the settee next to me where he sits staring ahead.

“I don’t want to want you,” he
mutters in a low voice and I wince. Catching it he reaches out and takes my
hand, caressing it absently. “But I do want you.” He turns to look at me. “I
want you so much it hurts.” I open my mouth but he shakes his head to stop me.
“I’m not a good bet Nell. I’m a recovering drug addict for a start. I don’t
sleep well and I have control issues. It’s not exactly Mills and Boon is it?
You could do so much better than me, and what I fear most is that if I take you
I’ll drag you down and ruin you. That’s what happened to Leah.”

“You didn’t
ruin
her,” I
say hotly. “She made her decisions the same way that you did and the path that
she’s on now is the one that
she
decided to walk on.”

“Don’t stick up for me Nell.” He
takes a deep breath as if gathering courage. “I got her on the shit. We were
together the night that we first took drugs. When we became addicts I would
send her out to score on her own at night. I’d rack that shit up and give her
the note to snort it. When snorting coke wasn’t enough and she moved onto skin
popping, I’d load that needle up and do it for her. When people got suspicious
of the track marks I’d inject into her groin when she begged me. The only
decent thing I did at that time is to get her fresh needles, and that is the
only
decent
thing I did. Most mornings I’d wake up with either vomit or
blood from a nosebleed on me, sometimes mine, sometimes hers, and my first
reaction would always be to score some more. Showering was a very low priority.
I paid for every single bit of shit that we put in our bodies, and towards the
end it was like a nightmare. I tried to get us both clean a few times but she never
wanted to do it and I was so weak. I would give in every time she pleaded with
me and go straight back on the gear with her because I am a
very
weak
person Nell.” He looks at me challengingly. “Not such a prize am I?” he says
mockingly. “I’d make a lovely person to take home and meet your folks.”