Trust Me (Beggar's Choice #2) (14 page)

“Okay,” I say in a small voice
and he hesitates, but Mick rattles the door again and he sighs. Pulling me
gently to one side he positions me behind the door, and after one long,
enigmatic look at me he opens the lock and swings it open.

“What?” he snaps and I hear Mick
snort.

“What the fuck are you doing in
there mate? It’s a cleaning cupboard. Don’t you have rock star dressing rooms
to fuck in like proper guitarists do?”

“Fuck off,” grunts Sid.

“No, really who’s in there?” asks
Mick and I tense as his footsteps come closer. Then there’s the sound of a
muffled struggle and then Mick’s voice. “Ouch! Fuck! Okay Sidney, what’s
ruffled your panties? Okay, okay I’ll go. Don’t fucking hit me again.” I listen
to the sound of their footsteps fading down the corridor and dimly hear Mick
pontificating. “A cupboard for fuck’s sake, it’s like an adult version of ‘The
Borrowers’,” and then I sag against the wall and wait for the obligatory five
minutes before I can leave.

I enter the hospitality room ten
minutes later after changing my clothes and redoing my make-up. I’m wearing a
tight, long sleeved, black and white striped dress that hits mid-thigh with my
black Converse, and over the dress I’ve layered a short sleeved, red t-shirt
with the number 69 printed on it. I’ve left my hair wavy and loose, and I
really hope that I don’t look too much like I was nearly shagged sideways into
a wall by the lead guitarist. However, no make-up will cover my lips which look
full where he bit them, and I’m still very flushed despite splashing cold water
on my face. I was tempted to splash it down my knickers but I don’t actually
have them anymore because they’re in Sid’s pocket. I also don’t think anything
will get rid of the deep throbbing that he put there.

I pause at the door and blush
when I’m greeted with a huge cheer, and Charlie buzzes towards me and scoops me
into a tight hug. “Thanks so much Nelly,” he whispers, and I can’t even tell him
off because he looks too happy.

“It was nothing.” 

He shakes his head. “It’s not
nothing, it’s everything.” He pauses and then says in a rush. “I don’t let many
people in Nell, but you’re there babe now. You’re part of my family and I’ll do
anything for them.” I gulp back tears, feeling unbearably touched.

“Thank you Charlie, that means a
lot to me. Anyway, congratulations daddy.” He smiles but just for a second I
think that a shadow falls over his face and then I think I must be mistaken because
he draws me towards a man standing to the side of him. He’s very tall and
tanned with an unruly head of blonde waves. He also looks somewhat familiar.

“This is Cameron,” Charlie says
and I smile as I recognise the name. He was a massive DJ a few years ago who
has since moved into record producing. He’s famous for taking unknowns and
propelling them into stardom and transforming the singing careers of
established stars by taking them in new directions.

“Hello.” I smile at him. “Nice to
meet you. I loved your last album, particularly that song you did with Jax
Jefferies. That was brilliant, and so not him.”

He laughs. “It was a good song,”
he concedes in a deep voice that mingles Scottish and American accents. “I have
to say though that the effort involved in getting the fucker through it almost
outweighed the result.”

I laugh, surprised because he’s
being shockingly candid. “Was he that bad?”

“He’s like a two year old on
speed but he’s a good bloke. We’re recording again next month so I’ll have to
invest in some strong hair dye to cover my new grey hairs.”

Charlie laughs. “Fuck, I’d hate
to hear what you’d say if you worked with us.”

“I’m sure we’d be fine,” he
drawls, looking at Charlie with interest. “I’ve told you before, you name a day
and I’ll be there. I’d love to work with you guys.”

“Maybe,” Charlie says
non-committedly. “We tend to work best with the four of us and none of us play
well with others. We just don’t like being told what to do I’m afraid.”

Cameron shrugs. “I don’t think
it’d be like that. Yes, I’ve got strong opinions but I’m quite amenable.”

Charlie smiles. “Sure you fucking
are.” I laugh and both men turn to look at me and I notice that Cameron’s eyes
are intent on me. Charlie slings his arm round me. “Nell, Cameron saw you
tonight and wanted to speak to you.”

“About what?”

“I’m not sure, but it’d better
not be about poaching you while we’re on fucking tour,” he warns with a real
note of threat in his voice. Cameron immediately holds up his hands.

“I won’t. She can stay with you
for as long as you need her. Seriously Charlie, I won’t poach her.”

“No you won’t,” I say tetchily.
“The band gave me a job to do and I’m enjoying doing it. They have my loyalty
and if you knew me you’d know not to talk about me as if I’m just going to do
as I’m told. I’ve got a brain and a mouth and I use both quite well without
assistance.” Charlie gives out a shout of laughter and hugs me.

“That’s my girl,” he chokes.
“Well, Cameron I’ll leave you with her. Do feel free to cup yourself if you
feel threatened. We won’t think any less of you.” Laughing out loud again he
wanders over to Mabe, swooping down on her and kissing her until she shrieks.

Smiling fondly I watch them for a
second and then turn back to Cameron to find him watching me with an intent
look on his face. “Not fallen under Charlie’s spell then?” he asks idly,
swirling the wine in his glass.

I narrow my eyes at him. “He’s a
married man Mr Mitchell, not to mention my boss, and I never use company ink in
my inkwell.”

He laughs and I feel someone’s
eyes on me. Looking up I see Sid staring at me. Our eyes entwine for an endless
moment as what happened in the cupboard seems to flash between us, before his
gaze moves to Cameron standing close to me, and then his eyes harden and he
looks away. Breathing out a measured sigh I turn to see Cameron looking at me.
“Hmm,” he says. “I see.”

“You see what?”

“A lot more than you do that’s
for sure. How long have you and Sid been together?”

“We’re not together.”

“Really?” he asks in patent
disbelief. “I’ve known him a long time and he’s had a lot of women over the
years but I’ve never seen him bothered by one before.”

“He’s not bothered by me,” I
protest, feeling my face warm. “Anyway, I’m not sure how appropriate this
conversation is. You don’t know me.”

He smiles slowly. “Well he
doesn’t either does he? I mean he hasn’t got a clue who you are. None of these
boys have.”

I feel the colour leave my cheeks
and look at him frantically. “How did you know?”

“I recognised you instantly.
Well, maybe not instantly, the red hair confused me for a bit. But as soon as
you opened your mouth I knew. You can’t forget that voice. I saw you once at
Brixton Academy.”

“Did you?” I think back to that
night which is now hazy with time. He smiles, looking alarmingly like a lion
playing with its food.

“Yes, you were fucking brilliant
honey. The energy in the crowd was like being plugged into a socket.” He turns
serious suddenly. “Why the fuck aren’t you doing that anymore? Someone as good
as you can’t just give it up like that.”

“Things happened,” I say in a low
voice, looking around to see if anyone is listening.

“I know. I’m so sorry, but even
so that was a few years ago. Why is someone like you playing second string? You
should be out front. Are you still writing?”

“Look, stop.” I’m agitated now
and aware of movement which is coming sharply from my right. “You don’t know me
and you certainly don’t have the right to ask questions of me. That girl is
dead and asking prying questions isn’t going to bring her back to life.”

“I want to bring her back.” His
eyes switch behind me and over my head and I feel an achingly familiar warmth
at my back. “Sid,” he says smoothly. “You’re looking fucking good mate and I
have to say you’re back to your best, if not better. You sound so sharp now.”

“Why are you upsetting Nell?” Sid
growls and the two men stare at each other, Sid bristling and Cameron smirking,
while I become anxious. This could spiral out of control and Sid could find out
too much if Cameron loses his temper.

“No he isn’t Sid,” I protest. “We
were just talking.”

“It didn’t look like you were
just talking. You looked upset.”

“I did not.”

“Yes you did. Now what did he say
to you?”

I open my mouth but Cameron beats
me to it. “I want to work with Nell,” he says calmly as if he hasn’t got 6’4”
of agitated male clenching his fists in front of him.

My ‘
what
?’ is drowned out
by Sid’s explosion. “I don’t fucking think so mate. You’ve fucked everyone that
you’ve ever worked with.”

I open my mouth to protest at him
thinking that he has the right to talk for me, and also to support a woman’s
right to do what she wants, but I don’t get a chance and Cameron talks over me.
“Not everyone,” he says smiling. “Eminem took some smooth talking!” Sid is
expressionless and Cameron switches tack. “I don’t mean now anyway,” he carries
on swiftly and I feel Sid calming down. “I want to work with her when the
tour’s finished.” Sid stares at him and I can feel him vibrating next to me
with some unnamed emotion.  “You know she’s good,” Cameron finishes quietly.
“Don’t hold her back from becoming what she should be.”

“That’s a really inappropriate
thing to say. Sid would never…” I start to say hotly but Sid stirs, and turning
to look at him I see the fight draining out of him and the familiar sadness
seeping back in.

“He’s right Nell,” he says
quietly. “You’re so fucking amazing babe. You should be doing more than
standing next to me on stage.” I open my mouth to protest but he just smiles,
squeezes my shoulder and moves away back to Charlie who is looking at him in a
concerned way.

I turn back to Cameron only to
find him standing there with an arrested look on his face. “What?” I ask
sharply and he looks at me.

“Never thought I’d see the day,”
he says cryptically and then before I can question him he puts his hand in his
pocket and draws out his card. “Call me,” he says directly. “I mean it Nell.
Call me when you’ve finished and we’ll take it from there. I really want to
work with you and I want to see your writing. I’ve been feeling quite jaded
lately, but you, you I want very badly.” He smiles at me, I think in warning.
“I always get what I want.” Then he’s gone, slipping back into the crowd. I
hold his card gingerly as if it might burn me and then pop it into my pocket. I
decide to think about it later and decision made I wander over to Mabe who’s
sitting on one of the settees holding a glass of orange juice. She looks a bit
pale but still enormously happy.

“Oh my God.” I bend down to give
her a hug. “Congratulations. Are you alright?”

She returns the hug tightly. “Fine
thanks babe, and well done for earlier.”

“Did you see any of it then
because it looked like you fainted?”

She blushes. “I feel so stupid.
Yes I fainted, but I came to pretty quickly, and then it took five minutes to
convince Charlie not to take me to the hospital.”

“Had you known long?”

“No, I’d suspected it this week,
but I’ve been a bit irregular anyway because of all the travelling we’ve been
doing. I bought a test and did it this afternoon. I was going to tell him later
but circumstances change.” She shrugs.

“What did he say? Was he happy?”
As if one we turn towards Charlie who’s talking somewhat maniacally to a group
of people who are laughing. I flush as I catch the eye of Sid who’s standing
next to him and is noticeable because he isn’t laughing. He stares back at me
and I swear that I can feel his hands on me, like phantom fingertips. I shudder
and it seems to take a minute for him to drag his attention back to Charlie but
when he does he frowns and then stares at Mabe. They exchange a shrug loaded
with that unspoken meaning thing that they often do, and she sighs. Catching my
eye she gestures to Charlie.

“He
is
happy,” she says,
sounding somewhat unconvinced.

“But?”

“This is private,” she begins,
and I nod and she smiles faintly. “I know you won’t tell anyone Nell. You’re
one of us now. It’s like you’ve always been here.” I smile, touched again.
“Charlie had a terrible childhood. His dad used to knock him and Sid around all
the time. This pregnancy wasn’t planned, and although I know he’ll come round I
think that he might be scared for a while. Will you look out for him?”

I’m unbearably touched by her
trusting me with someone that’s so precious to her. “You know I will,” I say,
squeezing her shoulder. Our conversation is broken by a guffaw of laughter and
I look up to see Mick gesturing wildly and I hear the words ‘
cupboard’
and ‘
fucking’
rather loudly. Mabe grimaces.

“Sid’s up to his old tricks
again. He was fucking a groupie in the cupboard earlier. They all get horny
after a good show.” I can’t stop my jerk of pain and suddenly she pauses and
her gaze shifts between Sid, who is suddenly staring at me again, and myself,
and some sort of recognition crosses her face. “Oh my God!” she says loudly and
then mutters ‘sorry’ as I gesture to her frantically to be quiet. “That was
you?” she whispers.

“Don’t say anything,” I ask
quickly and she immediately shakes her head.

“I won’t. You know I won’t. But
this is great Nell. I know he likes you.”

I sigh. “I don’t think so. You
said it yourself, he was horny after a gig. I might as well have been a
groupie.”

“No!”

“Yes. It’s true so don’t sugar
coat it.”

“Did he say that?”

“He didn’t need to because he
asked me to wait before I came out so that no one would find out about it.”

She pauses. “But that doesn’t
mean anything. Sid’s not like that anymore Nell. He’s changed beyond
recognition and I know Charlie and I are still surprised by some of the things
that he does.” At my look of query she smiles. “The last time we really knew
Sid he was a teenager. Once he was on the drugs he changed so much he was
almost unrecognizable. Now he’s different, not just because he’s clean but also
because he’s a man. Sometimes I think that we all still expect the kid.”