Twice Loved (21 page)

“What’s so funny?”

“You rolled your eyes at me.”

He pulls a smoke out the pack sticks it between his lips and fires it up. “I love you Princess.”

My eyes soften as I turn toward him smiling. “I love you too.”

I grab my purse off the floorboard. I dig around until I find my pack of cigarettes. I put one between my lips and grab a lighter

“Don’t you fucking dare?”

I stop. Lighter in mid-air. I turn toward Tate again looking at him like he’s lost his damn mind.

“You’re driving and smoking I can light my own.”

“Not while I’m around you won’t.”

Something about that makes me hot. I am a little turned on by his chivalry. Guys that don’t behave like gentleman have no idea what they are missing out on. I imagine most women react to it like I do. It’s like a sink faucet being turned to let water start dripping and the more he behaves that way the more your faucet gets turned on. I chuckle to myself I can’t believe I just compared my pussy to a sink faucet.

“Here!” I hand him the lighter. I don’t want there to be anything that will ruin this trip for us. Especially something as stupid as lighting a cigarette.

“Thank you Princess.”

As I exhale the smoke floats through the air in the car and out the window. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I was taught this is what a man does.”

I sigh. I want to meet his mom from stories he’s told and the way he treats a woman I want to pick her brain. What are his mommy issues? What made him think woman were disposable? Or maybe that came from his dad or some combination of the two teaching their kids it’s okay to disrespect your partner.

“What you thinking about over there?”

Turning to face Tate I consider briefly if I should answer him truthfully.

“That I’d like to meet your family.”

“Oh yea why is that?”

“To get to know you a little better, we are a product of our past even though we have free will to be better or different.” I shrug my shoulder making it seem like it’s not a huge deal.

“We can make that happen one day.”

Interesting, the man is willing for me to meet his family. That says a lot about how he feels. A man doesn’t introduce just any woman to his mom. It’s only a special woman he brings home to meet his mom. I remember when Steve first brought me home to meet Mae I was a nervous wreck. The man was an only child and a mama’s boy. It was important that his mom like me. Until Tate, she loved me and I could do no wrong. I would love to restore our friendship one day. I could wait until she was ready.

Steve did his best to convince her that he was okay with Tate and actually encouraged me to start the relationship. She has never forgiven me. I worry what she will think when she finds out I’m considering letting Tate move in. Olivia briefly mentioned she started crying when they told her I was dating Tate again.

It has to be painful for her as a mother. The fact her son is gone and I’m still here living. I’m moving on and with the man I considered my boyfriend while her son was still alive. It was not a typical relationship, but it was mine. It was something Steve, and I agreed on together. Steve even thought I made a mistake leaving Tate the first time. It’s not that Steve wanted Tate in our lives but he wanted to see me happy. I’ll never forget the conversation we had about it.

“Honey?”

Steve calls me into the living room where he is laying on the couch after his third round of chemo.

“You need something?” I ask concerned. The chemo has made him so sick.

“I want you to sit and talk to me.” His voice is weak.

I sit on the coffee table in front of him. I wipe my hands on the side of my jeans. I had been in the kitchen washing dishes and they were still a little damp.

“What’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking… I don’t even know how to bring this up.”

“What is it honey?” I’m really concerned Steve looks like he’s in pain.

“I want you to go out and find a man to keep you happy.”

“You what?”

He struggles to sit up. I lean forward fixing his pillows behind him.

“It’s been almost a year since we had sex. You need some release other than that damn toy box under our bed.”

“I’m fine!” My hand comes around my neck. Does he know about me meeting Tate the other night when Haley and I went out?

“Now… but what about a month from now, three months from now?”

“Steve I don’t want to talk about this with you.” My hands run through my hair. I’m sure I’m a mess tears are coming from my eyes.

“Lori. I’m dying. I’m not going to get better. We will never have sex, make love or fuck again!”

Steve’s voice is stronger but his breathing labored.

“Calm down Steve.”

“Promise me that you will think about it and even more do something about it.”

My elbows rest on my knees my head is hanging down. I think about Tate and that night in the bar. Just that easy he comes to my mind when my husband tells me to find a man.

“Steve I’m not sure I can do that.”

I wipe at my eyes. I didn’t even realize tears had been welling up.

“You okay Princess?”

“I’m good I just had a flashback to the first conversation Steve, and I had about me finding a man. You know it was right after I met you that first night in the bar?”

He gives me a sad smile. Tate knows the story of how Steve and I came to terms with an open relationship. I just never told him he was the only guy I ever considered.

“Princess this is not new…”

“What you don’t know…” Turning to the right I look out the window. I realize we are headed west on the interstate. “You were the first and only guy I ever considered.”

“Really now?”

I turn back to him. His cocky grin in place. “I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“Too late now.”

“Fuck you!”

He laughs “Oh you will.”

I can’t stop myself from laughing at him. Even when I don’t want too. It’s funny how you want to be mad at someone but they have an uncanny way of breaking through any defense you put up. Tate is one of those people for me. I want to hate him I can’t. I want to be mad at him I can’t. I love him. I fell in love with him after we had been together about four months and I haven’t stopped yet. I’m alive like I’ve never been before when I am with Tate. As much as I loved Steve he never gave me the same feeling and thrill that Tate does. Then Tate has never given me the safe warm feeling that Steve did.

Perhaps, I’m lucky that I had the opportunity to love a man like Steve and then find a man like Tate. Two very different men. Two very different loves.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Two hours later I have an idea of where Tate is taking me. “Are we going to New Orleans?”

“Yes Princess.”

I practically bounce in my seat. I love visiting NOLA. There is no other city in the south quite like it. It’s the perfect mix of old southern charm and new world excitement. Tate and I in NOLA together is an exciting thought, but it’s also a little scary. We could get in a lot of trouble together.

“We’re goin’ to get in so much trouble.”

Tate laughs as he says “I sure hope so.”

Tate pulls off on an exit heading straight into the French Quarter. He makes a couple of quick turns as we exit the interstate and it’s only a few minutes before he’s pulling up in front of a home. We are in a residential section of the quarter. I don’t understand why we are stopped here until an older man walks out on the porch. There is no doubt in my mind this man is Tate’s father.

“You brought me to your dad’s?”

“Yes Princess. I wanted you to meet some of my family.”

Suddenly gymnasts start doing somersaults in my belly. I wasn’t prepared for a meet the dad and step mom weekend. “Who all will I meet?”

“My dad, my step mom, and my youngest brother.”

“OH!” My hand slides around the back of my neck. I begin massaging it gently. I’m a little tense now. I hadn’t thought about this being a meet the family trip. I knew his family lived in the area but a little warning would have been nice.

“Princess you okay over there?”

“I’m just a little surprised.”

Tate reaches for my hand and his thumb gently rubs circles around the top of it. “It’s going to be great. They are going to love you. Probably ask you what you’re doing with a fuck up like me.”

“You’re not a fuck up.”

He eyes roll as if to say “really”

“Well not a complete fuck up anyway. You’ve been great to me the last month.”

Tate leans over and kisses me. It’s a quick but effective little kiss. It puts my mind at ease and I relax.

Tate gets out and as he does his father calls out something to him. Tate grins big as he walks around to my side of the car opening the door for me.

“Dad I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Lori.”

The man standing in front of me is still very handsome. I wonder if this is what Tate will look like in the future. If so woman will still line up for him. I’ll never be rid of potential competition.

“Hi Lori it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Oh good lord that man has a deep southern drawl that makes me want to swoon.

“It’s nice to meet you too Mr. Jameson.”

“Call me Ed.” His hand grips mine, shaking it firmly.

“Okay Ed.”

That is how Tate introduces me to his family. By surprising me. No preparation. I want to be mad at him but I can’t be its sweet at the same time. I love that he wants me to meet his family. That we no longer have to be a dirty secret from each other’s families or friends. There were only a select few who ever knew we were more than friends while Steve was still alive.

Tate is grabbing our bags out of the back seat of my car. He turns around with a huge grin on his face. He’s happy, and that is enough to make me happy. There is no way I will do or say anything that can take away his joy. It’s so rare that Tate ever talked about his family and when he did it wasn’t always happy memories. If being here was what he wanted then it’s what I would support. That is my job as a girlfriend to be supportive.

“So son how did you end up with a classy woman like Lori?”

“Luck... fate... Right time right place…”

Laughter comes from the older man as we all walk up the front steps of the old French style home.

“Our best friends are dating.” I give a simple answer. There is no need to go into the long fucked up history that is Tate and I. This is our new beginning.

Tate turns to me his eyes hold a knowing look. But I can see he’s also thankful I answered. Even though Tate had no issue being with me behind closed doors, he doesn’t like to admit it publicly. He never wanted anyone to think badly of me or him. He was worried about appearances that way. It doesn’t matter that Steve gave his permission the majority of society does not understand Polyamorous relationships. Hell I lived a poly lifestyle for almost a year and still couldn’t tell you how it worked. It was a process. It was each of us choosing the lifestyle every day. It was each of us deciding to not let jealousy and other things that were normal in a monogamous, one on one relationship be a problem. It was never easy but nothing worth having in life ever is.

“So you met through mutual friends?”

“Yes sir.”

“Better than the last girlfriend that he met online.”

I snicker. I know he is referring to LuAnn then. “I had the displeasure of meeting her a few times.”

I am glad Ed is walking ahead of me and doesn’t see me rolling my eyes or the snarl that has taken up residence on my face. LuAnn was one woman I could do without talking about. She was a pain in the ass the whole year she and I were dating Tate at the same time. Of course it probably didn’t help that she wasn’t down with the whole open relationship thing. She was just one of the many people we hid from until it just became impossible to hide from her any longer.

“That was one nasty bitch son, like this one better already.”

I don’t make any sound but his dad’s reaction makes me want to laugh and take offense at the same time. I see where Tate gets his forthright manner from though. He looks and acts like his dad and I would be wise not to tell him that. I know he loves his dad but I know there are some mixed feelings as well. It goes back to the mysterious childhood Tate still has not told me about. I’m not sure I’ll ever hear about it.

“Thanks dad.” Tate’s bland response to his dad is all I need to hear to know he is fighting saying something he will regret.

I step closer to Tate and place a hand on his forearm. He glances at my hand then to my face. He gives me a tight smile. Tension lines are around his eyes and mouth. I smile at him and pat his arm. I want him to know that it’s okay. That we will get through this together. I’m here for him. Whatever he needs.

Stepping into the foyer of the home. I am taken back by the elegant beauty of it all. Tate’s dad has spent some time and money restoring this place. It was not exactly as it was back in the early 1800s but it’s pretty damn close. I admire the marble stairs leading up to the second floor. Amazed how beautiful they are and the ornate chandelier that hangs over them. The crown molding has been restored to its former glory and little cherubs adorn the ceiling and other places on the walls.

“Follow me we have you in the downstairs suite.” Ed speaks as he motions for us to stay with him.

We walk through a formal living room. I imagine it was once the room guest would be seen in when they would come calling. My mind gets carried back to what it must have been like to live back then. From that room we walk through a double doorway that is a dining room. Then through to a kitchen. This kitchen is not the original kitchen it’s far too modern and back then a kitchen would have been outside away from the main house to keep the heat away.

As we walk through a door to a back courtyard. I see what use to be the old kitchen and servants quarters attached to one side. Tate’s father leads us to a door and hands Tate a key.