She didn’t write in her diary for a whole month. May7th I can’t be sure, but Stosh says he ended things with that business associate. He’s been coming home on time every night and attending church with me on Sunday’s. Maybe I’m trying too hard, but it can’t hurt. I just want what we had back. I don’t want to lose him. I skipped through the amazing sex they shared together. That was nothing that I wanted to read about. Sept 1st I took Stosh’s phone when he was asleep. I found a video of him and that women he’d had the affair with. They were naked in the shower. Doesn’t he realize that I depend on him? I have nothing without him. How can I stay in a marriage if I can’t trust him? I don’t know what to do. Sept 4th I slept with my boss last night. He bought me a necklace and told me he would give me the world if he could. He’d been begging me for months. I only did it to get back at Stosh. When I came home the next morning and told him, he begged me for another chance. Maybe the video on his phone was old? Now I know how to get him to love me. I skipped through more pages. Jan 19th Stosh made me quit my job. He said he would buy me a new car if I stayed home and focused on becoming a mother. I went to the doctor and he told me that I’m never going to be able to carry a baby full term. What am I going to do? How do I tell him that? He’s going to want to leave me. I have nothing to offer. She never talked about anything for two more months. March 9th I’ve devised a plan to have a baby with my husband. It’s going to take a couple months to put together, but we’ll have a baby. I’m still not sure of the details, but hopefully things will work out. I’m going to have my happily ever after, no matter what I have to do to get it. That was the last entry. I’d skipped many other entries, but those weren’t pivotal. My sister was sick. She needed help. It took a while for me to take in everything I’d read. Stosh was no longer the innocent man that I’d fallen in love with. He was flawed. He’d cheated and had an affair. He’d told lies and lived a secret life. It was hard to think about. I had no choice, but to find him and talk about things. We still didn’t know what my sister was up to. I had to know how he felt about her. Was he just with me to get back at her? All these questions filled my mind. I was so confused. Chapter 9 A large pizza and a slap in the face. We didn’t get home until dinner time. I refused to talk to Stosh about the things that I read, until I had time to think about how I felt. Parts of his past hurt worse than others. He was only doing what he felt was right by my sister. I didn’t blame him for having an affair, but I didn’t like that he’d said the same things to both girls. It made me question his feelings for me, even though I felt like he was being sincere. By the time we pulled up at his place, he couldn’t take my silence anymore. “Last night was the best night of my life, Willow. I’ve waited so long to be with you. I know you’re disappointed in me. I don’t blame you. Please, just don’t shut me out.” He grabbed my hand and waited for me to respond. “I’m a grown woman, not a child. I don’t regret anything we’ve done. Last night was perfect. I just need to know…do you still love Ivy?” He put his hands on the steering wheel. “I never loved her like I love you. I swear to God!” “It’s not a competition. Obviously, she’s in love with you. We have no idea what she’s up to. I just want to be prepared.” I felt like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They needed therapy and divorce papers. “I have no idea what she’s up to. I can’t believe you asked me that. Do you really think I’d love someone that lied and cheated and kept me away from you? I tried to be married, to do the right thing. It didn’t work. I slept with that other chick to get caught. I figured it would get me out of my marriage. Instead, it made her try harder.” “How did you get this diary?” I held it up. “I paid some kid to break into her car when I took her to the mall. We came out and everything was missing, including her hidden things in the trunk. She has no clue I have it.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “What happened to the innocent man I fell in love with?” “He grew balls. I want out, Will. I need to get away from her. Why do you think I never bought a house? I don’t want her name on anything.” “I read the entries about when you were happy together.” He looked down, like he felt ashamed. “There was a time, briefly, when I developed strong feelings for her. It’s true. I got to a point where I just wanted to move forward with my life. She loved me and wanted to be with me. It just made sense since we were already married.” I held up my hand. “You don’t have to explain. I said I got it and I do. I’m sure it hurt to read all the shitty things she wrote about you. I don’t blame you for hating her. As mad as I am, it’s hard to imagine hating my sister. I mean, I’m in shock, but I’m not a fool. I see what she’s capable of. I just feel like when I was reading the parts about her falling in love with you, they seemed real. It just proved that she still has a heart.” He gave me a strange look. “What are you saying?” “As much as I want to be with you, I think we should wait. Who knows what she has up her sleeve. Each time she calls, she begs me to do whatever it takes to keep you happy. Why else would she want me to go to extremes?” He took the keys out of the ignition and looked around, before opening his driver’s side door. “Let’s finish this inside.” I carried in my own bag and sat it down by the door, while I watched him head into the bedroom. The sound of the shower running let me know what he was doing. I thought about joining him and feeling his warm body making me forget everything again. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. While Stosh showered, I ordered us a pizza. I knew he’d be done before the delivery man showed up, but I sat in the living room anyway, just in case he drove at the speed of light. Stosh came out of the bedroom in a pair of shorts and nothing else. He still had a couple drops of water on his chest. “We should order a pizza or something.” “I already did.” He liked the way I was looking at him. He looked down at his chest and then back up to me. “See something you like?” “I do.” He sat down beside me and played with the collar to my shirt. “You should have joined me in the shower.” His lips were cold and wet and I could taste the water from his shower. I pulled away before I lost control. “What’s wrong?” “We need to chill out until I can figure out what she’s up to. She asked me here for a reason. What was your schedule like before you knew I was here?” He shrugged. “I play cards with the guys and I always go out of town for work the next morning. Why?” “She said that, but when she called and found out you stayed, she changed things. She told me to do whatever I had to do to keep you happy. She told me to sleep with you if I had to.” He leaned in and kissed me again. “That can be arranged.”
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