The
problem
was
that
I
just
had
to
know.
I
had
to
know
if
he
didn’t
make
it.
I
had
to
know
if
a
part
of
my
soul
was
going
to
be
lost
forever.
It
hurt
even
more
knowing
that
we’d
missed
so
much
time
together.
We
should
have
been
the
ones
that
were
married
with
little
children
running
around.
All
of
the
little
things
that
Stoshua
had
done,
while
helping
Ivy,
seemed
so
small
in
comparison
to
a
lifetime
without
him.
I
didn’t
care
that
he’d
lied
to
me,
or
hurt
me.
He
did
it
to
be
with
me,
because
he
thought
it
was
the
only
way
it
could
ever
happen.
I
think
if
the
roles
were
reversed,
I
would
have
been
desperate
enough
to
do
the
same.
My
love
for
him
had
only
grown
stronger
and
the
baby
that
was
growing
inside
of
me
helped
me
to
forgive.
The
only
thing
that
I
wanted
was
to
be
able
to
feel
his
strong
arms
wrapping
around
me.
I
wanted
to
see
him
holding
our
baby
when
he
or
she
was
born.
I
wanted
to
lay
in
bed
with
our
baby
in
between
us,
while
looking
into
each
other’s
eyes.
He
was
everything
to
me
and,
even
when
we
weren’t
together,
he
always
had
been.
I
waited
another
half
hour
before
I
sat
up
and
started
pushing
the
button
for
a
nurse.
A
woman,
a
little
older
than
me
came
walking
in.
“Can
I
help
you
with
something?”
“My
parents?
Have
you
seen
them?”
She
shook
her
head.
“I’m
afraid
my
shift
just
started.
I
can
look
around
for
them.”
“Don’t
worry
about
it.
They
probably
went
to
get
something
to
eat.”
After
she
walked
away,
I
grabbed
the
telephone
and
dialed
Stosh’s
number.
Of
course,
I
should
have
known
that
he
couldn’t
answer.
Maybe
I
just
wanted
to
hear
his
voice
when
the
message
thingy
came
on.
This
is
Stosh.
You
know
what
to
do.
I
started
crying
harder,
just
hearing
his
recorded
voice.
It’s
me.
I
know
you
aren’t
listening
right
now,
but
I
need
you
to
know
how
much
I
love
you.
No
matter
where
I
was
in
life,
you
never
left
my
mind
and
my
heart.
It’s
always
been
you,
Stoshua
Wheeler.
I
don’t
care
about
the
past
or
what
we’ve
had
to
go
through.
I
just
want
our
future.
I
want
us
to
be
together.
It
doesn’t
matter
where
we
live,
or
what
we
do,
as
long
as
we’re
together.
We’re
a
family
now
and
I
need
you
so
much.
Do
you
hear
me,
Stosh?
I
can’t
lose
you,
babe.
I
can’t
lose
the
one
thing
that
I’ve
always
wanted.
We’re
so
close.
You
have
to
fight.
Please,
just
be
okay.
I
can’t
live
without
you.
If
he
did
hear
the
message,
I
wasn’t
sure
he
would
be
able
to
hear
the
last
parts.
I
was
too
emotional.
Thinking
about
the
possibility
of
him
not
surviving
was
making
it
hard
to
breathe.
I
needed
to
know.
I
had
to
call
information
to
get
his
parent’s
phone
number.
I
called
three
times
and
nobody
had
answered.
I
didn’t
know
who
else
I
could
call
or
what
I
could
do.
Knowing
that
they
were
going
to
come
back
at
some
point,
I
didn’t
call
my
parents.
If
they
were
staying
away,
it
was
for
a
legitimate
reason.
Unfortunately,
only
one
thing
could
have
kept
them
away.
My
fear
of
losing
Stosh
was
becoming
a
reality.
When
my
parents
finally
came
around
the
corner,
and
my
mother
had
tears
in
her
eyes,
I
knew
it
couldn’t
be
good.
I
sat
up
and
immediately
started
to
cry
harder.
I
felt
all
of
my
hope
leaving
my
body.
My
heart
was
empty.
“No!”
I
shook
my
head
while
continuing
to
cry.
My
parents
looked
at
each
other
and
then
back
to
me.
I
didn’t
take
my
eyes
off
of
them
as
I
waited
to
hear.
I
wished
I
was
one
of
those
people
that
could
feel
nothing.
I
wanted
to
be
numb,
instead
of
feeling
overwhelmed
with
pain.
“Just
say
it.
I
need
to
hear
you
say
it.”
Chapter
27
I
need
a
Mulligan.
They
came
over
to
the
bed
and
my
mother
grabbed
my
hand.
“Sweetie,
Stosh
isn’t
gone.
He
just
may
not
be
able
to
ever
walk
again.
The
bullet
was
lodged
into
his
spine.
He’s
been
in
surgery
for
four
hours
and
they
are
afraid
he
has
spinal
damage.”
I
didn’t
hear
the
part
about
Stosh
being
paralyzed.
All
I
heard
was
that
he
was
going
to
live.
“He’s
really
okay?”
“Your
father
talked
to
the
surgeon
himself.”
My
mother
looked
over
at
him
and
gave
him
a
nudge.”
“It’s
true.
I
spoke
to
Malcolm
Brodham
on
the
phone.
We
were
colleagues
a
while
back.
The
bullet
entered
clean,
but
became
lodged
in
Stoshua’s
lower
spine.
They
won’t
know
the
extent
of
his
paralysis
until
he
wakes
up
and
can
begin
physical
therapy.”
“But,
he’s
alive?”
“Yes,
sweetheart,
he’s
alive.”
I
was
so
happy.
Of
course
I
was
afraid
of
his
recovery,
but
he
was
going
to
be
able
to
hold
his
child.
He
would
be
there
during
the
birth
and
to
celebrate
birthdays
and
holidays.
“I
need
to
go
there.
I
have
to
see
him.”
“Willow,
you’re
in
the
hospital.
Stosh
would
want
you
safe,”
my
mother
argued.
I
shook
my
head.
“Please!
He’s
all
I’ve
had
for
a
while
now.
He
needs
me
there.”
“You
aren’t
due
to
be
released
until
the
morning.”
I
grabbed
my
IV
and
ripped
it
out
of
my
arm.
My
mother
seemed
so
shocked
that
she
rushed
over
and
tried
to
grab
my
arm.
“Willow,
what
are
you
doing?”
I
pulled
away.
“Take
me
to
Stosh.
You
both
have
the
pull
to
get
me
out
of
here.
I’m
fine.
You
said
it
yourself.
Check
me
out
under
your
care.
You
can
stay
with
me
the
whole
time.
I
just
need
you
to
take
me
to
Stosh.
I’m
not
asking
you.
Now,
you
can
either
help
me,
or
I
will
call
a
cab
and
get
there
myself.”
I
hated
threatening
them,
but
nothing
was
going
to
stop
me
from
seeing
Stoshua.
I
had
to
be
there
with
him.
Nothing
else
mattered
in
my
life
at
that
very
moment.
My
parents
didn’t
fight
me
after
I
threatened
to
go
alone.
Within
a
half
hour,
we
were
in
the
parking
lot,
headed
for
their
car.
They
insisted
on
keeping
me
in
a
wheelchair
and
I
didn’t
even
care.
As
long
as
we
were
headed
to
the
other
hospital,
I
was
okay
with
their
insisting.
The
anticipation
of
seeing
him
had
me
on
edge.
My
parents
tried
to
talk
to
me
during
our
twenty-‐minute
ride,
but
I
could
hardly
answer
them.
All
I
wanted
to
do
was
wrap
my
arms
around
Stosh
and
feel
that
rush
of
relief.
The
worst
was
over
and
we
were
going
to
be
able
to
breathe
again.
No
matter
what
he
had
to
go
through,
we
were
going
to
do
it
together.
From
now
on,
we
were
going
to
be
a
team.
Nothing
could
come
between
us.
So
I
thought.
We
arrived
at
the
hospital
and
my
parents
were
adamant
about
me
being
wheeled
in.
I
imagine
running,
but
just
knowing
I
would
get
there
was
fine
with
me.
They
had
to
stop
and
talk
to
a
couple
people,
since
it
was
after
hours
and
our
situation
wasn’t
ideal.
Thank
God,
both
of
my
parents
knew
their
way
around
a
hospital,
and
enough
physicians
to
be
able
to
get
around
the
rules.
Stosh’s
parents
were
both
in
his
room.
They
were
arguing
with
him
and
I
didn’t
understand
why
that
would
be
happening.
I
thought
when
he
saw
me;
he’d
be
happy
and
reach
his
arms
out
for
me
to
come
into
them.
Instead,
he
turned
his
head
in
the
opposite
direction,
like
he
hadn’t
even
seen
me
at
all.
It
hurt
my
feelings,
especially
considering
what
I’d
done
to
get
there.
I
looked
back
at
my
parents
and
told
them
to
let
me
go
in
alone.
Stosh’s
parents
both
kissed
my
head
as
they
walked
out
of
the
room
to
join
my
parents.
He
still
hadn’t
turned
back
around,
even
as
I
spoke
to
his
mom
and
dad.
I
wheeled
the
chair
over
to
his
bed
and
reached
out
for
his
hand.
He
pulled
away.
“Don’t,
Will.”
“Don’t
what?
I
came
as
fast
as
I
could.
I
was
so
worried
about
you.
I
thought
I
lost
you.”
He
put
his
hands
over
his
face.
“We
can’t
be
together.”
Other books
Games by
Wanda B. Campbell