I
sipped
at
the
honey
tea
and
sat
it
down
on
my
bedside
table.
“Thank
you.”
“Sweetie,
things
are
going
to
be
okay.
I
know
he
loves
you.
His
mother
and
I
talked
about
it
tonight.
He’s
being
stubborn,
like
every
man
does
when
something
goes
wrong.
You
just
be
patient
with
him.
Let
him
get
used
to
what’s
happened
to
him.
He’s
not
going
to
let
you
walk
away.
I
promise!”
“I
wish
I
could
get
a
do-‐over
of
the
last
five
years.”
She
stroked
her
fingers
through
my
hair.
“We
all
want
one
of
those.”
“What
if
he
doesn’t
want
me
anymore?
How
will
I
be
able
to
raise
a
baby?
I
gave
up
my
new
apartment
and
my
job
to
be
with
him.
We
were
going
to
run
away
and
raise
our
baby
together.”
“You’re
not
alone,
Willow.
Your
father
and
I
will
help
take
care
of
you
and
the
baby.
You
can
move
in
with
us
and
find
a
job
locally.
Your
dad
and
I
have
plenty
of
connections
to
get
you
started
with
something
here.
Please
consider
it.”
Since
I
had
no
other
options
and
I
couldn’t
have
a
do-‐over,
I
knew
it
was
my
only
option.
“I’d
like
that.”
She
leaned
down
and
kissed
me.
“I
would
too.
Get
some
sleep,
baby.
I’m
right
down
the
hall
if
you
need
me.”
“Mom?”
She
turned
around
and
looked
at
me.
“Are
you
okay?
You’ve
all
been
so
worried
about
me.
I
never
thought
to
ask
you.”
“Your
father
and
I
will
be
fine.
After
learning
everything
that
our
other
daughter
had
done
to
you,
what
she
did
to
us
was
minimal.
I’m
just
glad
we’re
all
safe.
Get
some
sleep.”
When
she
closed
the
door,
I
couldn’t
help
but
cry
a
little
more.
I
found
my
yearbook
in
my
bedside
table
where
I’d
left
it.
After
flipping
through
a
couple
pages,
I
got
to
the
seniors.
Under
each
picture
the
students
listed
what
they
saw
for
their
future.
What
Stosh
wrote
finally
made
sense.
Be
successful.
Marry
the
girl
of
my
dreams.
Start
a
family.
I
traced
over
his
words.
That
statement
had
been
about
me.
A
love
like
that
doesn’t
just
go
away.
I
was
going
to
wait
for
him,
like
he’d
waited
for
me.
His
life
with
my
sister
no
longer
mattered.
I
couldn’t
let
his
past
stand
in
the
way
of
our
future.
Stosh
was
mine
and
I
wasn’t
letting
him
go
without
a
fight.
Chapter
28
Starting
a
new
life.
My
attempts
at
getting
Stosh
back
fell
flat.
As
unfortunate
as
it
was,
I
had
to
keep
trying.
For
the
first
couple
weeks,
my
family
had
so
much
going
on.
Between
my
sister
being
arraigned
and
deciding
what
they
were
going
to
do
about
getting
her
a
lawyer,
they
were
completely
on
edge.
My
father
wanted
her
to
just
magically
get
better,
while
my
mother
thought
more
rationally.
She
knew
that
Ivy
needed
professional
help.
Whether
it
have
been
in
jail
or
in
a
mental
facility,
she
wouldn’t
pose
a
threat.
They
argued
every
single
night
about
posting
her
million-‐dollar
bail.
I
think
what
finally
settled
the
quarrel
was
the
fact
that
I
threatened
to
leave
if
she
were
to
come
home,
even
for
a
temporary
stay
until
her
actual
trial.
It
was
hard
for
them
to
have
to
pick
which
daughter
to
help.
I
got
that.
I
just
couldn’t
forgive
like
they
wanted
to.
My
days
of
being
friends
with
my
sister
were
very
over.
Ever
since
finding
out
the
whole
story,
Stosh’s
mother
and
I
had
grown
very
close.
She
called
every
couple
of
days
and
kept
me
optimistic
about
having
a
future
with
her
son.
I
knew
part
of
it
was
so
that
they
could
have
a
life
with
their
first
grandchild,
but
it
didn’t
matter,
because
I
wanted
that,
too.
Stosh
was
having
a
difficult
time.
He’d
been
released
from
the
hospital
and
had
started
physical
therapy.
Unfortunately,
since
the
shooting,
he’d
not
been
able
to
feel
anything
below
the
waist.
His
mother
said
that
he
wasn’t
even
back
to
work
yet.
They’d
paid
his
rent,
so
that
he
wouldn’t
lose
his
place.
He
was
staying
there
all
alone
and
giving
up
on
everything
that
ever
meant
something
to
him.
It
saddened
me
so
much.
We
could
be
happy
together,
but
he
insisted
on
being
so
damn
stubborn.
I
tried
calling
him.
His
parents
even
tried
to
talk
some
sense
into
him.
Nothing
was
helping.
Finally,
sometime
during
the
fourth
week,
I
couldn’t
take
it
any
longer.
Going
against
everyone’s
advice,
I
found
myself
standing
outside
of
Stosh’s
place.
I
could
hear
the
television
on,
so
I
knew
he
was
home.
I
knocked
twice,
before
I
heard
him
yell,
“it’s
open.”
I
assume
that
he
figured
I
was
his
mom,
when
he
just
invited
me
in.
The
look
on
his
face
confirmed
my
inclinations.
He
creased
his
brow
and
shook
his
head.
“You
shouldn’t
be
here.”
I
looked
around
and
noticed
all
of
the
furniture
had
been
moved
to
allow
a
wheelchair
to
get
around.
Stosh
was
sitting
on
the
couch
with
the
chair
right
next
to
him.
I
sat
down
on
the
opposite
end
of
the
couch.
“It
was
my
decision,
not
yours.”
“Why
did
you
come?
Did
you
want
to
see
how
awful
it
is?
Are
you
satisfied,
or
do
you
need
to
see
me
struggle
to
get
a
glass
of
water,
or
watch
me
trying
to
climb
on
the
toilet
to
be
able
to
take
a
shit?”
I
wasn’t
prepared
to
feel
sorry
for
him,
but
that
was
exactly
what
was
happening.
Since
he
had
no
feeling
below
the
waist,
I
knew
that
maneuvering
around
was
extremely
difficult.
“I
can
see
it’s
been
hard
for
you.”
The
room
got
quiet.
I
didn’t
know
what
to
say
to
him.
He
was
miserable
and
I
couldn’t
take
that
pain
away.
I
thought
about
our
baby
and
instinctively
rubbed
my
stomach.
Since
I
was
jobless,
all
I’d
been
doing
was
eating.
A
little
bump
was
starting
to
form
and
in
just
a
few
more
weeks
I
would
be
having
a
sonogram
to
see
what
the
sex
of
our
baby
was.
Stosh
saw
me
rubbing
my
bump.
“How
are
you
feeling?”
I
shrugged.
“I’m
not
getting
sick,
but
it
hasn’t
been
easy.
I’m
not
supposed
to
be
stressed
and
it’s
all
I’ve
been
my
whole
pregnancy.
My
parents
have
been
helping
me.
They
offered
to
let
me
live
with
them
until
I
can
get
back
on
my
feet.
They
think
I
should
just
wait
until
after
the
baby
is
born
to
go
back
to
work.”
“Sounds
like
you
have
things
figured
out.”
He
flipped
through
the
channels,
refusing
to
look
at
me.
“I
miss
you.”
Maybe
I
shouldn’t
have
just
come
out
with
it
like
that.
I
couldn’t
sit
there
any
longer
without
expressing
my
feelings.
He
shook
his
head
and
turned
off
the
television.
After
running
his
hands
over
his
face,
he
finally
turned
to
face
me.
“Will,
I’m
not
going
to
lie
to
you.
I
miss
you,
too.
It’s
just…I
can’t
see
us
ever
being
happy
with
me
in
that
damn
chair.”
“Well,
I
can’t
see
us
ever
being
happy
without
being
together.
I
want
you.
I
want
every
part
of
you.
Don’t
you
get
that?”
I
knew
he
wanted
to
stand
up
and
walk
away,
except
he
couldn’t
and
it
was
driving
him
crazy.
“Don’t
you
think
I’ve
thought
of
every
possible
way
for
us
to
be
together?
Willow,
I
can’t
feel
anything
anymore.
Do
you
get
what
that
means?
I
may
never
be
able
to
give
you
what
you
need.”
My
jaw
dropped.
“Do
you
seriously
think
that
all
I
care
about
is
having
sex?
There
are
other
things
that
people
can
do
to
be
intimate
with
each
other.
Besides,
I
want
you,
not
your
dick!”
Perhaps
he
was
a
bit
shocked
at
what
came
out
of
my
mouth.
He
waited
a
few
seconds
before
answering.
“It
will
get
old.
I
can’t
take
the
rejection.
Do
you
understand
that
I’d
rather
not
be
together
now,
then
spend
five
to
ten
years
together
and
have
you
leave
me.
I
don’t
want
to
taste
happiness,
when
I
know
it
isn’t
going
to
last.”
I
got
down
on
the
floor
and
positioned
myself
between
his
legs.
“There
are
no
guarantees
in
life,
Stosh.
I
could
walk
out
that
door
and
get
into
an
accident.
I
could
be
hit
by
lightning
and
die.
You
can
sit
there
and
say
you
don’t
want
to
try.
You
can
sit
there
and
act
like
a
little
bitch,
but
I
know
what
I
want.
I
know
what
we’re
up
against
and
all
of
it
is
worth
it,
if
it
lets
us
be
together.”