Two Days in Biarritz (24 page)

It was going well so far. Kate snuggled up next to Shane. Shane kissed the top of her head momentarily before returning to his popcorn. The boys were too engrossed in the latest adventure blockbuster to notice. Kate couldn’t remember feeling this content in her life. Her eyes glazed over until she was rudely brought back to reality by a baby crying on the big screen of her own impending arrival. Shane would probably be really sweet about it she pondered. But would it be fair to expect him to go through the nine months waiting and then twenty years rearing someone else’s baby? He was so patient and understanding with her irrational requests. He hadn’t pushed her to sleep with him even though it was obviously beginning to put a strain on their relationship. Part of her realised that he still respected Natasha and didn’t want to sleep with her until he was free. Something would have to be done sooner rather than later but for the moment she wanted to savour the experience of being Shane’s partner– of being a family.

“Right who wants to go to Casa Pasta?” Shane said as they emerged from the darkness of the cinema into the daylight.

“Me,” the boys called together. Kate had already forewarned Shane that it was the boys’ favourite restaurant when they came to visit their grandparents.

“Thanks Shane, I thought we were going to Mac Donalds,” Kate said as they got into his car for the short journey to Howth.

“This is a special day,” he said. “Nothing but the best for your kids.”

Kate flinched. They were her kids and not his. The fact that he had stated the obvious pulled her back into reality and out of the comfortable web she had spun around the four of them in the cinema. It convinced her even more that she had to make a firm decision about their future together and part of her felt that decision was already made.

* * *

Damien was having trouble sleeping. He thought now that he had made some sort of peace with Kate he would be more relaxed. For the umpteenth time he tossed and turned in the bed, images from his past flashing like light from a beacon. It wasn’t what Betty deserved for her final days on this earth. It was the bitterest pill to take. He felt scared for the first time in his life. Nobody in the Royal Dublin Golf Club or on his many building sites scattered around the city would believe that Damien Carlton would be afraid of anything. But scared is the only word that he could come up with to describe how he felt. He’d been so busy working and playing so hard for the last forty years, time had raced by without giving him a chance to stop and evaluate what the hell he was doing. He had accumulated enough money not to have to work so hard. But he couldn’t stand being around the house with Betty fussing and dusting around him. That was why he had put so much focus on his career. But if bricks and mortar were all he had to look forward to now he didn’t think he wanted to go on either. Both of his children lived in different countries and he only sporadically saw his grandsons. There had to be more to life and at sixty-two he had to make better use of the few years of good health that he had left.

He thought of Annabel for a moment. He could clearly picture her face behind the stall at the market. Beauty personified. He wished she hadn’t been his daughter’s friend. She had turned into a stunning woman but age wasn’t something that he thought about on the brief occasion that they were together. Her age hadn’t mattered. He closed his eyes and tried to remember how it felt to hold her but couldn’t, no matter how much he grappled with the memory.

He jumped out of the bed and shook himself down. Maybe a trip to the toilet would clear his head as well as his bladder.

* * *

A loud thud woke Kate. She looked at the clock beside the bed. It was 3.04 am.

Something had woken her, she was sure. She pulled on a dressing-gown and went to check on the boys. Opening the door gently, she peered in. They were sleeping peacefully, their two smooth faces popping out from under the duvets. Ciaran’s hair turned spiky in his sleep and no amount of brushing the next morning would flatten it. He had taken to using gel to put a shape on it. They would be teenagers soon and then off to college and they would have little time for their mother. She touched her stomach for a moment and thought about her unborn baby. Part of her longed to smell that fresh scent of talc and cuddles that only a newborn exudes. But if she had this child to look after and took her sons out of boarding school, she would be a single-parent of three. It seemed too much to cope with at the moment.

Then on top of everything else she had Shane to think about. She knew she wanted him but didn’t want the guilt that would come with breaking up his marriage and would he want to take on three kids that weren’t his own? Life had a habit of dishing up dollops of problems that needed solving.

As she closed the door quietly, she heard her father call her from her mother’s room. She hurried to the door. Damian was crouched over his wife who was lying on the floor by the side of the bed. He looked up as Kate rushed in.

“What happened?”

“She’s knocked herself out trying to get out of the bed – must have hit her head off the locker.”

Kate helped her father lift her mother back onto the bed. Her frail frame reminded her of a little bird. In such a few short weeks she had deteriorated quicker than anyone expected. There was a shallow graze at her temple but no sign of bleeding or bruising. The yellowish hue under her eyes and sunken cheeks was now a shade of deep ochre. But she seemed to be breathing normally.

“We’d better ring Tony,” said Damian.

Kate picked up the phone. Tony Crosby was the local GP and lived close by.

“Ask him if we should call an ambulance,” she her father.

The doctor answered immediately sounding quite alert despite the hour.

“Dr. Crosby– Kate Carlton. I’m sorry to call you at this ungodly hour but Mum has knocked herself out…we think she has hit her head off the corner of the locker…should we ring an ambulance?” Kate listened to the doctor’s queries carefully. “No it just happened – Dad heard her fall – and it’s very slight – no real bleeding – no bruising…” she paused and listened. “No, no bleeding from her nose or eyes…yes, she seems to be breathing normally…Okay, thanks so much. We really appreciate it.” She put the phone back onto its receiver.

“Tony has been brilliant. I only wish she had gone to see him when she found the lump at the beginning,” Damien sighed. Damien played golf with Tony on the few occasions that the overworked G.P. took an afternoon off. He was hugely relieved when Tony offered to come to Betty’s bedside any time day or night.

“I’ll call the ambulance, then I’ll wait for him at the front door.” Kate left her father holding on to his wife’s bony fingers.

* * *

Tony Crosby tapped gently on the brass knocker that hadn’t been polished since Betty had gone into Cornhill hospital the first time. His spectacles needed a good polish. He had whipped them on his nose from beside his bed without giving them a wipe. His hair was slicked back in a duck’s tail shape and he smiled at Kate when she opened the door from under his bushy ginger moustache.

Kate took his long and slender hand that gave a warm and steady shake.

“I’m glad to meet you at last, you must be the artist?” he asked with his west of Ireland lilting
blás
.

“That’s me, come this way Doctor.”

“Call me Tony, everyone else does!”

They quietly climbed the stairs.

“Damien, how is she?” he asked on entering the bedroom.

“Thanks for coming Tony,” Damien stood up and away from the bed. “She’s still out but her breathing is normal.”

Tony took out his stethoscope from his bag and started to listen to her chest. He took her temperature and she moved around slightly.

“I don’t think she knocked herself out Damien,” Tony said checking the slight graze on her temple. “She probably moved in her sleep and fell. The drugs will be affecting her at this stage.”

“What should we do?” Damien asked.

“Let her sleep and ring me when she wakes up in the morning. It’s my guess that she won’t remember this. Have you got the nurse for tomorrow?”

“Yes, but we do two nights a week ourselves.”

“Maybe you need to get more help at night time,” Tony suggested. “She’s not coping the best with the drugs.”

Damien nodded.

“You’re very good to come up.”

“Sure I’m only around the corner from you, that’s why I said any time,” Tony smiled. “She’s settled well and should sleep for the rest of the night. Have you been minding yourself, Damien?”

”I’m fine – I have Kate here,” Damien tried to smile back. “I’ll be in touch soon no doubt.

Kate showed Tony to the door. “How have you been keeping yourself?” he asked.

“I’m fine, thanks,” she replied unconvincingly.

“Be careful that you don’t get ill yourself looking after everyone else.”

His vast experience as a healer meant he could clearly see the signs of anxiety behind Kate’s cheerful expression. She wondered if he could sense that she was pregnant as well.

“Come and see me if you need me,” he said going out the door.

“Thanks Tony, I’ll remember that.”

She stood with her back to the front door after closing it. There was no way she could tell her Dad’s friend that she was pregnant and contemplating an abortion. But as each day passed and the longer she stayed in Dublin she knew that she didn’t want to terminate this new life and hope that was growing inside.

* * *

Annabel opened the door to Shane with a big smile on her face.

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Nice pad!”

“Thanks,” she nodded. “Come in and have a cuppa.”

She showed him to her shaker kitchen that reminded him of an interior design magazine – the Aga in the corner making the look complete.

“So how have you been since Biarritz?” she asked.

“Great, terrible and something in between!” he laughed.

“Not all at once I hope?”

“Sometimes,” he grinned. “That’s what happens when Kate comes back into your life I suppose.”

Annabel felt a twinge of envy but pulled herself together. She had managed fairly well considering and been able to stand up to Melissa and Colin on her own in the few weeks since her return form Biarritz.

“I was meaning to ask you that on the phone. When did you call her?”

“Shortly after you gave me her number.”

“Have you seen much of her?” Annabel asked curiously.

“Lots,” he nodded. “But not enough– that’s why I’m here. There’s something odd going on and I can’t get through to her and I was wondering if you could help.”

“We had a falling out in
Biarritz and I haven’t spoken to her since so I don’t think I’m much help. Tea or Coffee?”

Shane pulled one of the solid country kitchen chairs back from the table and sat down.

“Tea please,” Shane replied. “Actually I was hoping you might be able to throw some light on the situation because she won’t tell me what you fell out about and I was hoping that if it got sorted it would help. She has a lot on her plate with her mum’s illness.”

“I don’t know if she would want me telling you.” She hesitated before pouring the boiling water into the tea pot.

“Please, Annabel,” he begged. “I, I, I’m in love with her.”

Annabel sucked on her lower lip and turned around to face Shane.

“If I tell you do you promise not to repeat it?”

Shane made the sign of the cross with his finger on his chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Annabel poured the tea into two sturdy Denby mugs and brought them over to the kitchen table. She pulled a chair back for herself and proceeded to add milk to her tea.

“Okay, when we were teenagers I had a major crush on Kate’s Dad.” She paused.

“She’s out with you for fancying her Dad when you were kids?” Shane interrupted.

Annabel raised her hand in the air. “Wait. I didn’t just fancy him I had an affair with him while we were all on holidays in
France. I really loved him you know.”

“Well even I can understand that– he’s a fit looking bloke for his age.”

“I’ve been carrying this information around with me for years and under the influence of alcohol I told her about us.”

“I don’t see why she was so freaked out about that though.”

“Well you’d have to be a Daddy’s girl to understand, I suppose,” she pondered for a second. “What if one of your mates slept with your mum?”

Shane didn’t reply. He was fiercely protective about his mother right up until the day she died five years ago. He saw it as his role after he lost his own father so young. 

“See?” Annabel continued. “Anyway I’ve tried on numerous occasions to call her and she ignores me so I have to accept that she wants our friendship terminated.”

“She’s in bits at the moment Annabel and it’s not all Betty’s illness. She wants me one minute then puts the brakes on another.”

“How is Betty?”

“Not good at all– deteriorating rapidly.”

“That must be having a huge effect on Kate.”

Shane took a gulp of his tea. “Would it help if I got her to talk to you?”

“I’d love to talk to her but she mightn’t like you going behind her back to see me.”

“I want her so badly.”

Annabel stared at the pained expression on his face. There was no way she could help now. Kate would have listened to her before Biarritz but not anymore.

“What about Natasha?”

Shane looked down at the flagstone flooring. “I’m in the total dog house. I know I’m not being fair to her, she’s the innocent party in all of this, but I can’t continue this double life that I’m leading. Sooner or later I’m going to have to tell her it’s over.”

“And what if Kate won’t settle down with you?”

“I can’t even contemplate that,” he muttered slowly, the fear inside him showing with every syllable.

Chapter 14

The house felt emptier than ever with the twins gone back to
France. Kate looked in on her mother. The nurse was bathing her face gently while she slept. A dish with balm and cotton wool buds rested beside her locker now as Betty found it difficult to intake fluids orally and her lips were dry and cracking. A drip hung beside the bed where the other locker used to be. The morphine was the main substance running through the clear plastic bag. Kate couldn’t believe that it was a mere ten weeks since she had seen her mother stand upright in the kitchen that day.

That meant that her baby was twelve weeks growing inside her, fourteen if she were to go by a midwife’s calendar. Her check-up with Tony had been brief. She trusted that he wouldn’t tell Damien under any circumstances but Tony had urged her to tell Damien herself. She agreed that she would but knew that she had no intention of doing such a thing. Tony assured her that every thing was going well and the cramping pains that she got sporadically were perfectly natural. It had been so long since she was pregnant with the twins that she had forgotten all the symptoms that accompanied pregnancy. She was over the most dangerous period now and would be showing soon. She was beginning to feel physically well in herself again and even started to have a glow about her complexion.

Still no word from Annabel and Kate was starting to miss her sorely, despite her anger. She felt she shouldn’t have let their disagreement fester and grow to the stage that it was at now. But she didn’t know how to stop the rift from deepening. She wondered if Annabel missed her too.

Shane had been so kind and considerate through it all. He hadn’t pressed too hard looking for a commitment but she could see frustration written over his face, more with each time they met. She had to be fair to him though. Deep down she knew he would accept this baby and do whatever she wished but as the years passed she didn’t want resentment to set in. She didn’t want to be a burden. He was too special to play around with and he would have been happy with Natasha if Annabel hadn’t given him her number on the plane. There was only one thing to do. She lifted the phone beside her bed and rang his number carefully. She loved to hear his phone ring out and relished the anticipation of hearing his voice.