Two Days in Biarritz (26 page)

Kate pulled her duvet up to her chin and tried to make herself comfortable. It wasn’t easy now that she had a bump growing inside by the day. She closed her eyes tightly and said a secret prayer. The look of disgust on Shane’s face still haunted her a week after telling him that their relationship was over. She wondered what he had done that day after he left. Did he go home to Natasha and try to act as if everything were all right? Deep down she couldn’t bear the thought of him with another woman – even his wife. But there was another part that desperately wanted to do the right thing by Shane – for the first time in her life. Up until now she had always thought of herself and her own feeling first. She tried to meditate on an old proverb: if you love someone set them free; if they come back they are yours, if not, it was never meant to be. But it didn’t console her.

She opened her eyes and felt the walls closing in around her. She had lived through a lot of experiences in her forty years but she could never remember feeling as miserable as she did right now. Suddenly a voice called out that caused her to sit up. It was Betty. She wondered where the night-nurse was.

Kate pulled on her dressing-gown and went into her mother’s room. Her mother was wriggling restlessly under the covers. Kate sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand out to gently rub her mother’s face.

“I’m here. Can I get you anything?” she asked softly.

Betty’s eyes were full of tears and her mouth was quivering.

“I’ve been a terrible mother, Kate,” she sobbed.

“Hush, I love you, Mum. Don’t say such a thing. You were always there for me and Philip as kids and adults. We are so lucky to have you.”

Betty put her hand to her head and covered her closed eyelids.

“Don’t die with regrets, Kate.”

Kate was feeling her mother’s distress and wiped away the tears that were now forming on her own cheeks.

“Mum, please don’t talk about dying. I need you.”

“Kate we both know that I’m not getting any better. The pain is intense. I want to die so that it will stop.”

Kate took her mother’s hand into her own and stroked it. When the night-nurse came into the room Kate signalled at her to leave them in peace. She was going to stay with her mother tonight. She wondered how many more nights she would have with her. all the thoughts that clouded her head about Shane, her pregnancy and the anger with her father faded as she concentrated on minding her mother. She was the priority for the next few days or weeks and that was how it was going to be.

Chapter 15

Damien knocked gently on his daughter’s bedroom door.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Kate said sharply.

The tension and exhaustion of the last two weeks were now etched harshly all over her face. Caring for her mother had drained every last bit of energy from her tired body and she worried about the effect it might have had on her unborn child. Then her father’s infidelity had been a shadow hanging over her those last weeks as she nursed Betty and had added enormously to the strain. In addition, even though her mother was all but oblivious to what was going on around her, Kate became increasingly convinced that deep down she was carrying some pain of her own that she hadn’t shared with her.

“The car is waiting and Philip and Gloria are already in it!” Damian said, tenderly trying to hurry his daughter up.

Kate stepped into her black court shoes and winces as they pinched the sides of her feet. She hoped that she wasn’t becoming flat-footed, only four months into her pregnancy. She lifted her jumper and looked at her neat little bulge. Hidden under my black coat is the best place for you today, little one, she said silently to her baby.

The extra weight that most women would be carrying at this stage had been kept at bay while caring for her mother. There were days when she could hardly stomach more than a few slices of toast. Everything seemed to be happening in a kind of daze. She didn’t feel the incredible pain that she imagined she would after losing her mother – everything was happening in slow motion. At any moment she would walk into the kitchen and find her mother cutting the crusts from a stack of ham sandwiches and asking if she wanted tea or coffee.

* * *

Annabel was flustered. She wasn’t sure what to wear. Thankfully Meave had rung her and told her that Betty had passed away and the funeral notice was in the Irish Independent as she expected. Annabel hated funerals but Betty’s ceremony would be particularly sad. Then there was the anxiety around meeting Kate again. They hadn’t spoken in three months. There had never been a gap that long without contact at any time over the last twenty-seven years. She could of course stay away from the ceremony but Betty was like another mother to her, she owed it to her as well as the rest of the
Carlton family to show up. She flicked through the hangers in the walk-in-wardrobe wardrobe and felt around for her charcoal-grey trouser suit.

She wondered what Kate would be wearing. She wished she could be there to help her get ready, to help with arrangements and flowers and readings. That is after all what best friends did for each other.

The children were at school and Rosa could collect them if the funeral ran on later than expected. Colin was pottering around the en suite like a caged animal. He had been nicer to her than usual over the past few weeks but she was disappointed that he wouldn’t accompany her to Betty’s funeral. It was unlike him. The fact that Damien was a successful business man and golfer would usually have been enough incentive for him to attend.

“Why don’t you have to be in work this morning?” she asked as he wriggled out of the bathroom covered in towels.

“I’m meeting a client in the Golf Club at eleven and there’s not much point in travelling into the office to come back out again so soon. They can get me on the Blackberry.”

“Of course,” Annabel nodded. Colin was often sending emails in the middle of dinner these days. “I’ll pass on your apologies and sign the book. I don’t imagine the funeral will be that big.”

Betty was a popular member of the women’s bridge club and she also did charity work but with such a small family and a reputation for keeping herself to herself, Annabel guessed that the church wouldn’t be thronged.

“Bye,
Rosa,” she called to the Spanish girl who was entrenched in her room.

“Bye Annabel,”
Rosa replied.

* * *

The front door had hardly slammed before Rosa heard a tapping at her bedroom door. She didn’t need to be a sleuth to figure out who was at the other side. She pulled her dressing gown over her black lace bra and pants and tied the belt before answering.

She opened it slightly, showing only her nose and side of her face at first. “Yes?”

“Rosa,” Colin whispered. “We have the place to ourselves. I thought this might be a convenient time to get together, what do you think?”

Rosa
sighed. She had to keep her part of the bargain until the money came through in August at least. “Okay, but we will have to be quick. I have a lot of jobs to do for your wife.”

“Don’t worry about her. As long as I’m satisfied, the rest of the house will be happy.”

Rosa wondered how Annabel put up with the pompous prat. It was getting more difficult to carry on the charade now that the bargain had been struck. With personal disgust she took off her dressing gown and let Colin lunge his face into her loins. The only good thing about the arrangement was his lack of staying power. The ordeal would be over soon.

* * *

Annabel was passing by the beautiful gift shop in the centre of the village before she realised that she had forgotten something. She pulled her jeep over and searched through her handbag to be sure and then remembered that she had left the Mass cards on the counter beside the breadbin. She had to turn back.

Arriving there, she left the car running and ran around the back of the house.
Rosa always left the back door unlocked. She ran in and spied the white envelopes on the kitchen shelf. She turned on her heels to go back out the door when she heard a strange grunting noise. She stopped and listened, it was like someone in pain, moaning and groaning and it seemed to be coming from upstairs. Alarmed, she hurried into the hall and quickly climbed the stairs. The groans became louder and louder until they were accompanied by a banging from the headboard. With trembling fingers she slowly turned the knob on the door and pushed the door in. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight on the other side.

At first Annabel couldn’t speak. Then Colin stopped after
Rosa tapped him on his shoulder and suddenly realised there was someone else in the room. He turned his head slowly around until he could see who was at the door, then jumped off Rosa in a panic.

“A – A – Annabel, why, why eh!”

“Don’t say a thing Colin,” she said – her voice trembling. “Don’t say a fucking thing, you bastard.” She hot footed it down the stairs and out the back door. He ran behind her trying to cover his nakedness with a towel he picked off the floor.

“Stop, Annabel. Stop!”

But she managed to get into the car before he caught up with her. There was nothing she wanted to say to him.

* * *

St Anthony’s Church hadn’t been Kate’s first choice for her mother’s funeral but Damien had insisted. It was more convenient for anyone going on to the reception in Clontarf Castle afterwards. Betty was going to be cremated as were her wishes in the final few weeks of her life. The altar was decorated with Cala lilies. White candles were lit around the back of the coffin and colourful wreaths lay on the ground around its base.

Annabel was shaking still. She didn’t want to sit with her mother who would be up close to the front. She took a pew at the back of the church and hid behind a robust man in a dark grey jacket. Her mind was still not registering properly the scene she had just witnessed in the house. How could sweet obliging
Rosa be having an affair with her husband? It didn’t add up. What did she see in the balding middle-aged man?

She couldn’t focus on Damien and Kate at the top of the church, her eyes were glazed over and tears streamed down her cheeks. How could she trust him again? Maybe he had been sleeping with other women all through their relationship. She remembered Nico for a moment and panicked. Kate knew about her one indiscretion in all the years of her marriage. This was different though. Colin would never meet Nico and
Rosa had been living in their home.

She let out a loud sniffle and half of the congregation looked around. She covered her nose and the lower part of her face with a large Kleenex. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had hoped that today she would be able to go up to Kate and try and make peace with her but at the moment she felt totally incapable of doing anything other than sob. The quiet around the church only emphasised the cries from her pew even more. 

Kate stood up after the priest read the gospel and cleared her throat.

“Let me tell you about my mum. She was small and slim as most of you here today know. She had a heart as big and brave as a lioness and anyone who passed through the doors of Greenfield Close bore witness to that. There was always a plate of cake and a cup of tea on offer and god help anyone that dared refuse. She brought me and her son Philip up with all the care and attention that only the luckiest of children receive. She was my friend.

Some say what goes around comes around or we get what we deserve but I can’t say that for Mum. The pain she suffered with the cruellest of illnesses for the last twelve weeks was difficult to watch but she did it with the same amount of dignity and good humour as she carried out most of her life. I’ll miss you Mum and I know Philip will miss you too. Thank you for being there always for us.”

Kate lowered her head as she took her sheet of words and returned to her seat next to her father. The parish priest continued with the blessing of bread and wine after David and Ciaran carried the gifts up to the altar.

Damien looked over at his daughter. Why was he omitted from the speech? He was after all Betty’s husband for forty years and should have at least got a mention.

Kate fixed her gaze on the altar as if she were in a trance. The scent of the incense was overbearing and somebody was wheezing and choking in the one of the pews. Everybody knelt as the final words were prayed over the coffin.

The crematorium was a short trip away and the ceremony only involved immediate family.

Annabel hoped she could get out of the church before anyone noticed her. When the coffin was finally raised and carried by Damien and Philip and Betty’s brothers out through the church door Annabel made a beeline for the side transept. She could creep out and hopefully avoid meeting anyone that knew her, especially Lily.

Her bag was still shaking in her hand. She walked around the back of the church until she found that she was trapped. There only way out was through the gates at the front of the church. The car park was full and people were returning to their cars. She tucked her head in under her jacket and walked briskly out to the courtyard. She thought she was home and dry when an arm gripped her from behind.