Two Days in Biarritz (25 page)

“Hi, Kate,” his tone was always bright when her number showed up on his phone.

“Hi Shane, can you come out later? Fancy a walk?”

“Great, I’ve been twiddling my thumbs waiting for your call.”

“About four?”

“Perfect,” maybe her mood would improve in the time it took to get to Greenfield Close. “How’s Betty?”

“Not good at all today. The Doctor says we’re talking days.”

“Can I come over earlier?” He was keen to try and soothe her.

“Four is best, if that’s okay with you.”

“I’ll see you then.” Her rebuff pierced him.

Kate went to have another look at her mother who was asleep, the same way as she had spent most of the last few days. She wouldn’t be giving anymore words of advice. Kate had heeded her lecture about her boys and had already informed the school that they would be leaving when the term was over at the end of the month. The nurse smiled from the chair at her bedside.

“Can I make you a cup of tea?” Kate asked.

“That would be lovely thanks – only if you’re making it.”

“No problem.”

She carefully negotiated the stairs and noticed that the post had arrived while she had been on the phone. The pile included several white envelopes offering Damien staggering amounts to take out on loan and a postcard from Fabian telling her not to forget him. A large A4 brown envelope was the last item of post that she looked at and it was addressed to her. She had been expecting it all week and now that it was here she was afraid to open it. She put the rest of the mail back onto the hall table and brought the brown envelope into the kitchen. She hit the switch on the kettle and carefully tore the corners of the packet. The gum on the edges made it difficult to rip so she resorted to using a kitchen knife.

A set of documents in French proclaimed that her marriage of eight years to Stefan Cassaux was now terminated and the settlement as agreed per separation was to be adhered to. Now that she had her freedom in her hands, tears welled in her eyes. She didn’t miss Stefan. A divorce was the best possible option for them both but she realised that she couldn’t face going through this loss again with Shane. He was too important and if she were to marry him and lose him she didn’t think she’d ever get over it. The risk was too great to take. It would be easier to sort it all out now.

* * *

Shane raced up to the front door of Greenfield Close but paused to look at his reflection in the window before ringing the doorbell.

“Hi,” Kate said shortly, as she opened the door. She stepped back quickly – denying him a kiss.

He knew instantly that something was wrong.

“Come into the kitchen,” she said as she turned her back to him and walked into the kitchen. Shane shut the hall-door behind him and followed Kate’s steps. His heart was pounding loudly in his ribcage and he was sure that she could hear it too.

“Tea?” she asked nervously.

“Not for me thanks. Can we go out?” Shane wanted to change the setting – it might help change whatever Kate was going to say.

Kate paused for a moment. What she had to say would be better on neutral ground.

“Want to go to St Anne’s Park?”

It was another of their old haunts and as she said it Kate realised that it was probably the most appropriate place to go for their conversation.

He nodded and they walked back out to the hall.

“We could take the lane and a shortcut over the Howth Road?”

“Yeah, it’s a nice day.”

The summer hadn’t got fully under way yet but the long evenings of June put everyone in a good mood and meant that the park was getting a lot of use.

“We used to go down this lane
on my racer,” Shane said, waiting to see if she recalled. “Do you remember?”

“I am scourged with a photographic memory of everyday we spent together,” she turned to him and for a moment her eyes glistened in the sunshine. “But that was a long time ago Shane.”

“And haven’t we been making new memories these past few weeks?” he asked hopefully.

“What about the walk on
Burrow Beach the other night?”

Kate wished he hadn’t brought that up. It was a perfect evening and together they had found a cosy spot nestled between two sand dunes. They had watched the sun set and he had stroked her face to the slow rhythm of the waves lapping off the shore. She couldn’t imagine ever feeling happier in her life than for those few hours. She had to pull herself together and think about the reality of the situation that she was in.

“Yes, we’ve had a good time,” she paused. “It’s been a bit like living in a time warp though. Don’t you feel eighteen again going around all the old places?”

“I definitely do,” he agreed.

“Well does that not worry you?”

“Should it?” he asked in surprise.

“Maybe we are enjoying the feeling of being young again. How different would it all be if we were in a proper relationship? Like you and Natasha.”

“Kate what are you getting at? It’s not like you to beat around the bush.” His face was now sullen and whatever Kate had to say he wanted to hear it sooner rather than later.

“I don’t think we should see each other again,” she blurted out, staring at the path in front of her– afraid to look at him.

He stopped in his tracks, turned and grabbed a hold of her shoulders. She bowed her head.

“Look at me Kate,” he shouted. “Look at me, give me that for God’s sake.”

She lifted her head slightly until her huge brown eyes were visible under her fringe.

“What is wrong with you?”

“It’s what’s wrong with us.”

He wasn’t convinced.

“There’s something you are not telling me. I know you too well. What is it?”

“I just don’t think you should chuck a perfectly good marriage away on the chance that we might be happy.”

“I don’t believe that’s it Kate. Don’t do this to me, not again,” he pleaded. Tears welled in his eyes and he got flashbacks to a bright summer’s day twenty years ago when she told him that she was going to the states without him.

“I’m trying to take everybody’s best interest into account.”

“Is it the boys?” he asked impatiently. “I loved the boys and they loved me, you know they did.”

“It’s not the boys, but there’s a big difference between taking them to the pictures and being their father.”

Her words stung. “I don’t know how to please you Kate. I’ve done everything by the book since we started this relationship. It’s been all on your terms, your directions. I didn’t finish with Natasha because you told me not to yet. What do you really want Kate? Did you just want to see if you could have me again? Were you playing with me?”

Kate gulped hard and shook her head vigorously.

“Believe me Shane, I wouldn’t do that. I wish we could be together but it’s too late.”

“Give me a good reason and I’ll leave it.”

“I ca, ca, can’t,” she stammered.

He started to shake with a newfound temper. It was so surreal he couldn’t believe that it was Kate in front of him. Not the woman who had brought such fun into his life again. He reached out to her and then suddenly pulled his arms back. He was too hurt to try and make up with her again – he had been through too much.

“Then you are a sad woman who deserves to be on her own. I can’t take anymore of your heartstring pulling. Goodbye, Kate.”

He turned on his heels and quickstepped back to Greenfield Close leaving Kate on a road somewhere between her father’s house and the park.

She watched his tall figure get smaller as he disappeared into the distant, unable to move or think. She could still see the hurt in his eyes as she lied to him. Shane didn’t deserve to be treated in this way. She wished that she had let him down more gently – but there was no easy way to let the love of your life slip through your fingers for the second time. The tears trickled slowly down her cheek and for an instant she felt something move inside. She put her hand to her abdomen and held it tight. The faintest fluttering vibrated inside her and although she was more emotionally in pain than at any other time in her life, she knew she had done the right thing.

* * *

Shane was still shaking as his car pulled up to Rosemount Cottage. Natasha’s Mazda MX3 was parked in front of the garage. He didn’t think he could face a confrontation. He was about to start the car up again when the front door opened. She stood in the doorway with a scowl painted across her pretty face. Shane sighed into his steering wheel before getting out of the car. Maybe it was time to face the music.

“Where have you been?” Natasha frowned as Shane reached the front door.

“Out with a friend,” he replied shortly.

“On the
northside,
I suppose?”

“There’s no need to say it like that, Natasha.”

Natasha hated everything about the other side of the city. She believed it to be full of drug dealers and single mothers. On the few occasions she had to travel there she had clutched her handbag tightly.

“And is this friend a girl?”

“As it so happens
she
is a very old friend but I won’t be seeing her anymore,” his words numbed him as he uttered them. He couldn’t fathom his life without Kate again. A deep hollow feeling engulfed him.

“Are you having an affair?” She had been avoiding asking him for weeks but felt left with no other option.

Shane didn’t know how to answer. He hadn’t been having an affair. Kate wouldn’t sleep with him, but what they had shared was more intense than some sordid sexual affair. “No,” he replied quietly and truthfully.

“Why don’t I believe you then, there’s no other explanation for the way you’ve been behaving.”

“Natasha it’s nothing to do with you.”

“I am your wife! It has everything to do with me if you are sleeping in the spare room.” She paused for a breath. “If you’re not having an affair with this
friend
then what is your relationship with her?”

Shane had never heard Natasha sound so forthright. She was more angry than upset with him. She deserved the truth and there was only one answer he could give.

“I love her.”

Natasha started to shake all over with temper. She would kill this bitch if she could get her hands on her. She hadn’t expected him to be so honest. She had secretly hoped he would continue to deny this other woman’s existence until he got her out of his system and then come back to her repentant.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry too,” she shouted – slamming the front door in his face.

Shane couldn’t go back into the house. He was battered and bruised internally after Kate’s harsh words earlier. He had nothing left to say to Natasha either. He wanted to be on his own. Maybe he should look for a transfer to another country that didn’t have Kate or Natasha living in it. he sat back into the seat of his car and drove and drove until he was in a place that didn’t remind him of either of them.

* * *

Natasha was still trembling as she picked up the phone to ring her mother. She paused for a moment while it rang.

“Hello.”

“Mum, it’s me.” Natasha said sharply.

“Natasha, darling I was just about to ring you.”

“Get over here now.” She started to sob.

“Why? What’s wrong pet?”

“My bastard of a husband says that he is in love with another woman.”

There was silence at the other end of the line while her mother took the news in.

“Did you hear me? I said Shane has another woman.”

“I’ll be right over, the bastard, and he looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. I tell you he will pay for this. Ring Gerard at once and get him to get you a good solicitor. Those pilot types are all the same once they start to play away. Make sure you get every bloody penny you can out of him.”

“Mum, my marriage isn’t over. It’s just a glitch.”

“Let me tell you my dear it is. I know this type of man. Get a solicitor while there’s the chance of him still feeling the slightest bit of guilt. I’ll be straight over!”

Natasha hung up and started to sob again. She didn’t believe that Shane was a hard-hearted bastard. She knew him too well. But she had to think on her feet, this wasn’t just some phase that he was going through. Her mother was right. She was still young and good-looking enough to find another man of means. Shane Gleeson could sing if he thought she was giving up her house, car or lifestyle. He was her gravy train and there was no way she was going back to serving tea or coffee on a Boeing 737.

In the meantime she needed her ego massaged. She picked up the phone again and checked her watch. Josh was working late tonight. She would talk to her mother for an hour or two and then take a well deserved trip to the gym. Josh was always there for her.

* * *