Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (130 page)

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Authors: Josh Pahigian,Kevin O’Connell

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Also featured at F.X. is the artwork of famous sports artist and
Playboy
magazine contributor Leroy Neiman. Mr. Neiman’s painting of the F. X. McRory’s bar hangs on the wall as you head toward the restrooms.

Josh:
I wonder if Jeff Niemann’s related to him.

Kevin:
Seeing as their names are spelled differently, I’d say it’s a fair bet not.

SLUGGERS

538 1st Ave. South

True to our prediction in the first edition of this book, Sluggers is still here, and it remains a popular place to meet up before the game. With lots of microbrews and Seattle sports memorabilia mounted on the walls, this would seem to be just what the fans ordered. Trivia buffs will enjoy playing the computerized nationwide satellite trivia game.

Josh:
Are you crying?

Kevin:
I have something in my eye.

Josh:
What are you looking at? That old school Sonics banner?

Kevin:
No. Definitely not that.

Josh:
But you said the NBA was dead to you.

Kevin:
They were our only championship team, man.

TRIANGLE PUB

533 1st Ave. South

http://trianglepub.com

The beers are cheap at this historic Seattle pub, and hey, the building’s shaped like a triangle. Peanuts are free and shells must be thrown on the floor. It’s a house rule, kind of like at our friend Dave Hayden’s apartment back in Cleveland, only they sweep up the Triangle at the end of the night unlike at Dave’s place where the floor gets cleaned about once every lunar cycle. We highly recommend this pub for the off-the-beaten-path types. Arrive early, though, because the joint is tiny. One other rule: no squares allowed.

ARMANDO’S SALUMI

309 3rd Ave. South

www.salumicuredmeats.com

And by Salumi, they mean salami, which they make themselves. This is a high-end place, opened by famed restaurateur Armando Batali, and it shows by calling itself a purveyor of “artisan cured meats.” But you can still sneak in here before the game (check the website on the hours) and for not too much money, to get yourself a delicious pregame sandwich that will be the best thing you’ve eaten all day. Josh likes the hot sopressata, while Kevin remains a fan of the coppa.

PIONEER SQUARE NIGHTLIFE

One reason that the SODO district has been slow to develop its own Safeco scene is that the pub scene in the Pioneer Square district has been
the
happening spot in town for many years. While the area can be a bit on the touristy side, there are plenty of places to get a cold one, a great meal, and even play a hand of cards … for money. That’s right, card rooms have been legal in Seattle since the days of the pioneers, so grab a space at a table if you’re game and get in on some serious poker playing. The J & M Café & Card Room, located at 201 1st Ave. S, is a popular spot, but like most places in Pioneer Square, the serious action is over well before game time, as these bars turn into little more than frat parties in the later hours.

If you’re the type who likes to shake your booty after a full day of baseball, we recommend getting in on the Pioneer Square joint-cover. A bunch of bars have banded together to offer a single cover charge to patrons who get a hand stamp allowing them to access any of the member clubs. It’s a good deal and it’s a hopping part of town seven nights a week. While just about all of these places are good, our favorites are Larry’s Blues Cafe, Doc Maynard’s, and the Central Tavern. In any of these establishments, you can find a map to, and list of, the other participating bars.

THE CENTRAL SALOON

207 1st Ave. South

http://centralsaloon.com

Around since the Yukon gold rush days, the Central is Seattle’s oldest saloon. A true Seattle delicacy and a must-taste for any adventurous baseball road tripper is the Central’s alligator on a stick. Tastes like chicken to us. For grunge fans, seminal Seattle rock band Soundgarden was the house band here for years. Kevin saw them often back in his glory days.

NEW ORLEANS CAFÉ

114 1st Ave. South

www.neworleanscreolerestaurant.com/

Sample the gumbo or have a brew in this pub named for another great city. Cajun and Creole are the specialties, while jazz, zydeco, and Dixieland are the most common musical offerings.

SWANNIE’S SPORTS BAR AND RESTAURANT

222 S. Main St.

Once the famed locale of well drinks that cost the same as Dave Valle’s batting average, now Swannie’s is a dive sports bar with cheap beer during the day and a comedy club in the basement at night. On occasion, you may find Mariner players kicking back here after games.

MAC’S SMOKEHOUSE

1006 1st Ave. South

This is the place to go if you like good old-fashioned barbecue. The brisket was a big winner with Josh. Though it used to be located closer to the park, Mac’s is still only a short walk. It is closed, however, on Sundays.

Josh:
Wha? No BBQ on Sunday?

Kevin:
What are they, religious?

Josh:
You see how we are divided when we should be united?

Kevin:
What the hell are you talking about?

Inside the Park

Seattle is a city infamous for making ill-advised public works decisions, but they finally did something right with Safeco Field. Old-timers and baseball purists will thoroughly enjoy the Safeco atmosphere. And “newbies” will too. The purposely asymmetrical playing field features an unusual gap built into the 405-foot-deep left-center field. This is where late September home runs go to die in this notoriously pitcher-friendly yard.

Josh:
I like to load my fantasy roster with M’s pitchers.

Kevin:
Yeah, M’s and A’s deliver solid WHIPs and ERAs due to their parks.

Josh:
If only their lineups could score a few runs and get them some Ws.

Ballpark Features
ON THE ROOF

We are still not sure why Seattle built a retractable roof for baseball, even though studies indicated an open-air stadium in Seattle would have fewer rainouts than Boston, New York, or Baltimore. Then the city turned around and built an open-air football stadium, even though it rains every day during the winter in Seattle.

Josh:
Their last mistake was to let the NBA and David Stern bully them, sending the Sonics to Oklahoma City.

Kevin:
Yeah, all so that his buddy Clayton Bennett could have a team.

Josh:
Add another commissioner to the list of Kevin’s least favorite people.

With that said, the retractable roof is impressive and we give Seattle the edge as best ballpark with a flip-top. Whether viewed from inside or out, the arching steel supports are reminiscent of a postindustrial homage to labor. It’s worth sticking around until after the game is over, to hear Wagner’s “The Ride of the Valkyries” playing over the P.A. system as the roof closes. You know this tune. Think of a cowboy-hat-wearing Robert Duvall in the helicopter scene from
Apocalypse Now.
Ringing any bells? If not, maybe it’s time to rent the movie.

Major League Baseball Rule 6.10 Broken

To make way for a 2011 U2 concert at Sun Life Stadium in Miami, the oddest of occurrences happened at Safeco Field. The Mariners agreed to host the Florida Marlins at Safeco—which is not odd at all. What is strange, is that the Mariners agreed to be the away team at their home park—and during interleague play. Which means that the congenial M’s wore their away uniforms, hit first, and played by the rules of the National League—which means that the pitchers hit in an American League ballpark for the first time since the Designated Hitter Rule was instituted in 1973.

Kevin:
A pitcher hits in an AL park!! Blasphemy!!

Josh:
Do not underestimate the magnificence of Bono.

Kevin:
You sound like my wife.

If you’re only in town for one game and the always iffy Northwest weather has you fretting, fear not. The game doesn’t suffer much when the roof is closed because Safeco doesn’t lock up airtight. Though a closed roof may give the illusion that baseball is being played under the “big top,” it also preserves an outdoor atmosphere by leaving open the north and west sides of the park. So dress as you would for any other outdoor destination in Seattle—in layers, but leave the umbrella at home.

HOW DO YOU STOP A SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVE?

Safeco’s trademark feature was the procession of booming horns from the locomotives that rumble right through the
bleachers in right field. This may sound like an exaggeration, but it isn’t. The tracks of the Portland-Seattle Railroad line actually run directly beneath the ballpark’s retracted roof on the inside of its huge supports. However, when they built the extension that takes cars from I-90 to Edgar Martinez Drive, they built a bridge over the tracks, so the trains are no longer required by law to blow their horns. It’s a loss, to be sure, because that wonderful sound that used to blast from the outfield really meant something to Mariner fans. Some of the train engineers still lay down the horn to honor tradition, but it’s far less frequent than it used to be.

IRON MAN

When Safeco played host to the 2001 All-Star Game, it served as a glorious stage for Cal Ripken’s last Midsummer Classic hurrah. The venerable Oriole walked away with the game’s MVP honors after blasting a dramatic home run that still gives us shivers when we watch the replay on YouTube. See if you can spot the plaque in the Seattle bullpen that commemorates the spot where Cal’s All-Star dinger landed.

I DIDN’T REALIZE THEY’D ACTUALLY BE PENS!

While close access to pitchers warming up has become common at many parks, Safeco takes the idea a step further. Fans can close in on relievers from almost every imaginable angle—at eye-level on the first level, above from the second deck, through the portholes in the Bullpen Pub, or from the Center Field Terrace.

While we appreciated such rare access to the pop of a ninety-five-mile-per-hour fastball, we wondered if the fans might be a bit too close to the players here. Surely, we thought, relievers must resent being gawked at like zoo animals through the chain-link screen. That was our initial impression. But we have to admit the fans were exceptionally well behaved during the games we spent sitting along the visitor’s pen. Here’s our theory: The very proximity of players and fans is what keeps the drunken hecklers at bay. At other parks where fans aren’t so close, they don’t mind yelling “Hey, Rivera, you SUCK!” But at Safeco fans are close enough to see the effect of their words on the players’ faces, so they don’t get really nasty. That’s our theory anyway.

KIDS CLUBHOUSE

Like many of the new parks, Safeco features a romper room for rambunctious kids and stressed parents. The KC is located toward the back of the center-field plaza. It offers a playground, interactive baseball activities, a kiddy store, and even a chance to pose for pictures with the Mariner Moose in the Moose Den. Again, this feature was a fairly new concept when it was first put into Safeco, but has become a very common feature of ballparks built since.

HOME PLATE GATE

By far the most impressive of the several entrances to the park, the Home Plate Gate is really something to see. The rounded rotunda design was directly influenced by the rotunda of Ebbets Field. Though Safeco’s rotunda is unique, comparing the two side by side reveals the obvious influences of mythical Ebbets. After passing through the gate, you’ll ride up an escalator, below a chandelier made of one thousand translucent glass resin baseball bats. This is one of the many pieces of art integrated into the Safe’s design. You’ll see another as you reach the main concourse. It’s easy to be distracted by your first sweeping view of the field, but take a moment to look down. Tiled into the floor is the Nautical Compass Rose—the Mariner emblem—as well as the signature of each Mariner who played in the inaugural game at Safeco.

SAFECO ART

Baseball inspired artwork abounds at Safeco Field. Along with the chandelier, look for plenty more art inside Safeco, beginning with a mural by Thom Ross entitled “The Defining Moment” which depicts the double that Edgar Martinez belted down the left-field line against the Yankees in Game 5 to clinch the 1995 ALDS. Look to the main concourse level for
baseball themed “quilts” of stitched metal, pop cans, and old license plates, by Ross Palmer Beecher, and metal sculptures located throughout the park depicting large hands gripping baseballs and showing how to grip common pitches, created by Donald Fels. There are many other examples of fine art throughout Safeco—nearly all worthy of your time.

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