Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (129 page)

Josh:
I want that discount. How do we find a season-ticket holder?

Kevin:
Look for someone who looks like they work for Microsoft.

The Safe resides in Seattle’s SODO District. SODO used to stand for South of the Dome, but since the Kingdome was imploded the term SODO has come to mean South of Downtown. The industrial SODO district has given rise to plenty of “SODO-Mojo” banners and a number of new loft-style warehouse spaces. Even now, most of the bars that are worth attending near the ballpark are holdovers from the days when the Kingdome was still around. The woes of the M’s during the Bavasi years have caused a tremendous dent in season ticket and individual game sales, and this loss has put a serious strain on the eating and drinking establishments in SODO. Again, we’ll make the call to Seattle publicans and restaurateurs: If you built a good enough pub, they will still come.

There are public parking lots both north and south of the park. These fill up early, are not cheap, and the streets around them are always clogged with traffic. In fact, traffic has become a major issue in Seattle over recent years. We strongly recommend that you spare yourself the aggravation and take advantage of the Metro Bus system. But if driving into the city is your only option, be sure to stay away from the freeways, especially coming across Lake Washington from the east on either of the floating bridges—they’re murder during game-day rush hours.

The Metro has been voted one of the top bus services in the country. It’s clean, comfortable, and efficient, but you’re still stuck in rush-hour traffic, so allow extra time. For fare information, visit:
http://metro.kingcounty.gov
.

Here are a couple of tips to avoid the crowd in the immediate vicinity of the ballpark: From the north, park near the Seattle Center, then take the monorail to Westlake Center, about halfway to the ballpark. From there you can switch to the Link light-rail system that will take you directly to Safeco. Plus, how often do you get the chance to ride a monorail?

Josh:
Mon-O-rail! Mon-O-rail!

Kevin:
Cheap Simpson’s reference.

Josh:
Say it with me: Mon-O-rail! Mon-O-rail!

Kevin:
Do shut up.

The Link light rail transit system is your best bet if coming from SeaTac Airport. You’ll reach the Stadium stop in quick time, and it’s especially handy if you have someplace to ditch your luggage. And remember, the last trains leave between midnight and 1:00 a.m.

If you’re coming from farther away, say Tacoma or Bellingham, take The Sounder commuter rail line to King Street Station. It’s a short walk to the ballpark, and you won’t have to drive on any of the freeways. Have we mentioned that they’re murder?

If you must drive and you must park close, you should go see a game in Kansas City. We jest, but finding a parking spot in Pioneer Square or the International District can be a challenge. If you are lucky enough to find a space, plug the meter with enough quarters to get you until 6:00 p.m.—after which time street spots are free—then walk or take the Metro Bus to the park. If your spot’s within the ride-free zone, you can take the bus at no charge to Jackson Street at the edge of Pioneer Square, then walk the last six blocks, or keep riding and pay from Jackson to Royal Brougham, which doesn’t cost much.

Check out the street named after the greatest DH of all time. We must admit, Bud Selig did get this one right. Edgar Martinez was honored in September of 2004 at Safeco Field as the greatest DH of all time, when the award formerly known as the Outstanding Designated Hitter Award was renamed the Edgar Martinez Award. Martinez won the award that would later be named after him a total of five times. The other player to win the award five times: David Ortiz.

We would be remiss in our duties—actually, Kevin would never let us get away without mentioning it—if we didn’t discuss the importance of Edgar Martinez to the city of Seattle. There are only six players in the history of the game of baseball who have demonstrated ability to be considered superior all-around hitters. By this, we mean hitters who have more than two thousand hits, more than five hundred doubles, more than three hundred home runs, more than one thousand walks, a lifetime batting average above .300 and an on-base percentage of .400 or higher. Those six men are Stan Musial, Rogers Hornsby, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Ted Williams, and Edgar Martinez

And Edgar did all of this after languishing for seven years in the minors while the Mariners thought the third baseman of their future was going to be Jim Presley. The big knock against Martinez being a Hall of Famer seems to be that he didn’t play in the field, and spent too much time as a DH. Kevin supposes this is true for Hall of Famers Frank Thomas and Paul Molitor, too. But the fact is that Number 11 played 564 games at third base, and only left the position because he never recovered from a serious hamstring injury. He did play more games at DH than any player in history, 1,412, which is just 101 games more at the position than Frank Thomas. The fact remains that with his bat, any NL team would have found a place to play him. And last time we checked, DH was still part of the team.

Mariano Rivera called him the toughest hitter he ever faced. And Edgar accomplished all this without the suspicion of performance enhancing drugs ever being cast over him. Baseball writers, please do your job and research and vote Edgar into the Hall of Fame. He deserves it.

Josh:
You have a real man-crush on Edgar Martinez, don’t you?

Kevin:
Facts are facts. But I
love
me some Edgar.

408 Occidental Ave. South

www.ebbets.com/

Ebbets Field Flannels Factory Outlet is a must-visit for true baseball fans. The store specializes in high-quality woolen hats, jerseys, and jackets bearing the emblems of lost teams, ranging from the Pacific Coast League to the Negro Leagues, to the Caribbean Leagues, and dozens of other leagues as well. Whether you’re a fan of the Xalapa Chileros of the Mexican League, Josh Gibson’s mighty Homestead Grays, or the Seattle Rainiers, this store has something for you. The hats and flannel jerseys do not come cheap, but they are made to last. In recent years the store has expanded to include soccer, football, and hockey gear as well, but baseball jerseys and hats remain their hallmark. A few years back the Ebbets Field Flannels acquired longtime sporting goods manufacturer Stall & Dean of Massachusetts. Stall & Dean has been in business since the 1890s and manufactured some of the original baseball uniforms that the joint company now produces as replicas.

Outside the left-field entrance to the park (where an Edgar Martinez statue should be) you’ll find a big bronze baseball mitt. Josh calls this “the Swiss Cheese Glove,” while Kevin calls it “the Russ Davis Memorial.” Davis, who hit the first home run in Safeco history, played third base like he had a hole in his glove for the Mariners from 1996 to 1999. Now, we understand that good art is often nonrepresentational and that the hole is supposed to symbolize a ball. But come on! It’s a hole and it’s inside the mitt—a clear disconnect between art and subject. The glove was part of a $1.3 million investment by Seattle’s Public Art Program to fill the park and surrounding area with works by prominent Northwest artists.

In June 2011, the Mariners unveiled the statue of their most devoted employee and fan, Dave Niehaus. Niehaus, who broadcasted the play-by-play of every single game for the Mariners from their inception through the 2010 season, died of a massive heart attack on November 10, 2010. The statue is the first the Mariners have commissioned, and is fitting. It does well to honor the man who was the voice of the franchise for thirty-three years. He will never be replaced. So, rather than fail in our attempt to honor Mr. Niehaus, we’ll let Dave tell it in his own words. His catch-phrases were, “Swung on and belted!” and “Get out the rye bread and mustard, grandma, ’cause it’s GRAND SALAMI time!” and “My-Oh-My!” Niehaus is also credited with being the first person to dub Ken Griffey Jr. “The Kid,” and to call Alex Rodriguez “A-Rod.”

The statue, which features Niehaus seated and in front of his microphone, has become a popular place for fans to have their pictures taken.

As you walk along Royal Brougham you’ll notice that you can see right into the park from street level. On our first visit to the ballpark, on a rainy August day, we peeked in before the game. The roof was closed tight while the grounds crew was busy at work inside hosing hundreds of gallons of water onto the field. Don’t ask us why. We’re just reporting what we saw.

As authors, we think it’s pretty cool that the Mariners have adorned the ballpark gates with placards bearing baseball quotations. We both really liked the one from Donald Hall’s lyrical book
Fathers Playing Catch with Sons,
which reads, “I need to enter the intense, artificial, pastoral universe of the game, where conflict never conceals itself, where the issues are clear and the outcome uncertain. I enter an alien place, or the child in me does, and the child plays for a little while.”

After lengthy public battles with health inspectors, restaurants blocking competition, and general ignorance regarding how drastically street vendors improve society, portable food purveyors are finally taking back the streets of Seattle. Occidental Avenue, which runs along the west side of Qwest Field, is the epicenter of a growing revolution. On busy game days you’ll find hot dog carts, peanut vendors, and kettle corn being popped in enormous vats. We say “Here, here!” and “It’s about time.” We’d still like to see more of them and a bit closer to the ballpark, please. Late-night carts cater to the post-bar crowd in Pioneer Square. Josh wonders why they don’t wheel their carts into SODO to peddle to hungry baseball fans.

1046 First Ave. South

www.jimmysonfirst.com

This place is about what you’d expect from a martini and cocktail bar located inside a high-end hotel: kind of expensive; kind of long lines; and kind of mediocre. This really isn’t our kind of joint, except for maybe having Bloody Marys at brunch before a Sunday afternoon game.

1201 First Ave. S

www.pyramidbrew.com

Pyramid remains one of the best places to go before or after a game (and during if the M’s are stinking up the joint). Remember, at Pyramid, the food is okay, but it’s the microbrews that keep people coming back. Seems like since our first book came out, microbreweries have been popping up in every town from coast to coast. Well, while you’re in Seattle, be sure to sample one of the originals (and by that we mean they go all the way back to the 1980s). Here’s what you need to know: The Hefeweizen (German for “wheat beer”) with a wedge of lemon is for a warm summer day (if there were such a thing in Seattle). Try the Curve Ball Ale—it’s a hit before any game. Or, just get a sampler, which provides a number of different beers in small glasses. The goal is to taste as many as you can and still be standing when the clock strikes game time or midnight. So get into a West Coast groove, kick off your shoes (figuratively speaking), and let the good times roll.

Germany may have invented the beer garden, but Seattle has perfected it, at least in America. If you can’t get a table at Pyramid, head for the spacious beer garden located in its parking lot.

Here’s a primer on the scene: (1) There are fewer selections on tap; (2) the cups are plastic; (3) the girls think they’re in college again and are much flirtier; (4) spilling on the ground, or on each other, is fair play; and oh yeah, (5) occasionally there’s food. Think of beer gardening as tailgating without the hassle of parking the Winnebago, tapping the keg, and fumbling with the hibachi.

On the Waterfront at Pier 54

www.ivars.com

If your pleasure is a sit-down dinner with all the delights of the seven seas, then Ivar’s Acres of Clams is the place for you. It will cost you, but if you’ve travelled from Nebraska and have a hankering to down some of the finest seafood available this is your place. Salmon, local oysters and clams, and Alaskan king crab are favorites.

For the late-night crowd, the place to chow down is Ivar’s Fish Bar, which is vastly cheaper than Acres, but just as good in its own way. A Seattle waterfront institution, the Fish Bar features deep-fried foods until 3:00 a.m. There’s usually a line, but the salmon and chips are well worth the wait. The chowder is delicious too.

Josh:
Why did they stop serving the salmon and chips at the ballpark?

Kevin:
Let me consult my Magic 8 Ball.

Josh:
You have a Magic 8 Ball app on your smartphone?

Kevin:
It still says “answer unclear.”

419 Occidental Ave. South

www.fxmcrorys.com

A favorite of Seattle sports fans, F.X. is a vintage Irish sports bar—though it leans more towards the sports than the Irish. Pacific oysters on the half-shell are a house favorite. Kevin devoured two dozen in twelve minutes while Josh didn’t like the combination of gooey oysters and dark microbrew.

If old Kentucky moonshine is your thing, F.X. also boasts the largest selection of bourbon in the country. Daily specials are written on chalkboards along the wall. A few of our favorites are: Himan Walker’s Ten High, Pappy VanWinkle, and Old Kentucky Senator.