Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (35 page)

Kevin:
You can have the suit. I’ll take the cold hard cash.

Most of the seats inside the ballpark are deep green but single orange seats appear in left- and right-field home run territory. The left field one commemorates the landing spot of Cal Ripken Jr.’s 278th home run, which broke Ernie Banks’s shortstop record. Ripken went on to hit a total of 345 of his 431 career homers while playing short. And his shortstop record still stands seeing as Alex Rodriguez amazingly hit just one fewer, 344, before moving from short to third base upon joining the Yankees in 2004.

The orange seat in right marks the spot where Eddie Murray’s five hundredth dinger touched down. The shot made Murray just the third player to collect five hundred home runs and three thousand hits in his career, after Willie Mays and Hank Aaron had accomplished the feat. The shot also made one lucky fan very happy. The ball fetched a half-million dollars at auction. Later, in 2005, Rafael Palmeiro joined the exclusive five hundred HR/three thousand hit club when he recorded a base hit as a member of the O’s. Because he got the hit in Seattle and since it wasn’t a home run anyway, there is no orange seat for Palmeiro at Oriole Park or anywhere else, which given his positive steroid test, seems about right.

Each aisle seat in Oriole Park bears the original Baltimore Baseball Club Emblem. According to legend, Janet Marie Smith found this vintage insignia while combing through the Orioles archives. The logo, which features a baller in old-time garb holding a bat over his shoulder, flanked by ornate B’s, dates back to 1890.

If you’re feeling nostalgic, stroll out to the outfield seats where some aged Polish fans sit. Just kidding. Every once in a while we like to make sure you’re still paying attention. Actually, visit the outfield corners to check out the
foul
poles, which were brought over from Memorial Stadium when the O’s moved into Camden.

Flanking the analog clock atop the scoreboard in center field are two larger-than-life Orioles. These are intended to serve as weathervanes. The billowing smoke of Boog’s barbecue pit is a much more accurate indicator of wind direction, though, … at least in our experience. We witnessed the two birds pointing in completely different directions, while the smoke was blowing a third way.

Beneath the ornate but directionally-challenged weathervanes, a sign promotes
The Baltimore Sun.
When the official scorer rules that a play is a hit, the “H” in “The” lights up. When the scorer rules that a play is an error, the “E” lights up. This is reminiscent of the Schaefer beer sign that once served the very same purpose atop the Ebbets Field scoreboard.

Baltimore takes great pride in its leaky rubber but we’re not sure we like it in an old-timey park like this. The synthetic warning track is designed to be porous so that water never pools on it, even when afternoon thunder showers soak the city. The track also never needs raking, which saves the grounds crew some time before and after games. The one benefit from a fan’s perspective: During BP an unusually high percentage of deep fly balls bounce into the outfield seats for fans to pocket.

While the fare at most of the concession counters inside Oriole Park is average, the yard offers a couple of specialty treats that are delicious. The team was in the process of introducing a new stadium-wide concession service provider when we most recently visited, so there is grounds to hope the general quality will soon be improving.

At this Eutaw Street landmark, fans find affable Boog Powell serving pit-smoked beef, pork, and turkey. The sandwiches are juicy and scrumptious, while the platter comes with baked beans and coleslaw. We both agreed that the pork was juicier than the beef, but both were superb. In 2011,
Boog introduced two new offerings, the “Big Boog” sandwich, which comes with twice the meat, and potato chips seasoned with Boog’s special blend of spices. We enjoyed both innovations immensely.

Powell smacked 339 home runs in a career spanning seventeen years, the first fourteen of which were spent in Baltimore (1961–’74). We mean no disrespect to him or his exploits on the field, but his best contributions to the Orioles organization may be the ones he’s making right now. The slugger usually stops by before the game to inspect the day’s roast, so bring an old baseball card if you’re an autograph hound. Just don’t be upset if he accidentally smears a little (very tangy) barbecue sauce on your card while he’s signing.

This is a below-average ballpark dog. The best thing it has going for it is that it’s nearly 1.5 inches in diameter. It’s a stout weenie but it’s not even long enough to fill a bun, which is a major league faux pas in our book. For adventurous souls, the Birdland Dog is an Esskay dog topped with smoked-pit beef, pepperoni hash, stewed tomato jam, and fried onions.

Crab Cakes
are a Baltimore staple, and the two ballpark offerings are well worth ordering if you don’t have time to visit an authentic crab shack after the game. Kevin recommends the Tabasco cake, while Josh preferred the original. We liked the Soft-shell Crabs battered in Natty Boh (National Bohemian Beer) batter. The
Boardwalk Fries,
covered with crab cake seasoning, are also a zesty treat. We found the freshly made hot and cold sandwiches at the
Third Base Deli
attractive options after eating the same old ballpark foods for two weeks before our visit to Camden. Kevin also liked the
Noah’s Pretzel,
which came shaped like an O, while Josh went for a
Pretzel Dog
and found it delightful, kind of like a larger version of the crescent-roll-wrapped cocktail franks his mom used to make as an appetizer on New Year’s Eve. For a taste of Little Italy, try the
Meatball Sub.

For a more substantive snack, visit
Attman’s Deli
on the first floor of the Warehouse. This Corned Beef Row landmark is famous for its … wait for it …
Corned Beef
sandwiches. So do indulge.
Polock Johnny’s
sausage rates above average, to be sure.

The Bud Light Warehouse Bar
is also a convenient place to get ready for the game. Sports radio 105.7 The Fan broadcasts a live pregame show. The bar also stays open an hour after the final out, for those wishing to prolong the evening without having to venture far from the field.

Fans find several craft beer stands at Oriole Park serving local favorites like Heavy Seas, Snake Dog IPA and Fordham Brewery’s Copperhead.

Back when the Orioles were vying for league championships back in the mid-90s, Oriole Park was a pretty raucous place. When the team started struggling, the crowds hung in there for a while, but after fourteen straight losing seasons (1998–2011) the atmosphere at Orioles games had come to resemble something akin to that of a Cleveland Indians game. The fans expect the worst and just seem to want to have a good time before the inevitable late-game bullpen meltdown or inexplicable fielding gaffe result in the outcome they always knew was inevitable from the start: another Orioles’ “L.” That said, the Orioles fans are still a proud bunch, who turn out with something of a chip on their collective shoulder when the deeper-pocketed Red Sox and Yankees are in town. Unfortunately, though, plenty of out-of-town supporters of those two teams usually turn out too and it’s not uncommon for them to drown out the fans of the home team with their cheers.

The locals don’t just stretch in the middle of the seventh, they get up and dance around. When “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” starts pumping through the stadium speakers, the place goes bonkers. This tradition also traces its roots back to the 1970s.

When the O’s hit a homer, the stadium sound technician blasts Gwen Stefani’s “Sweet Escape.” You know, because the baseball escapes the yard.

Kevin:
It’s a fun song.

Josh:
Not really.

Kevin:
Then why are you dancing?

Josh:
Because Adam Jones is on my fantasy team and he just went yard!

Another tradition at Oriole Park is the daily game of crab-and-seek on the video board. Three crabs appear. One hides a ball beneath its shell, making like a Times Square huckster. The crabs then frantically scramble around the screen while fans try to keep track of which one has the ball.

Josh:
The one on the right. I mean the left. The middle. The middle. The middle.

Kevin:
Wake me when it’s over.