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Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute

Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader®

BOOK: Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader®
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Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader®
Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Bathroom Readers’ Press (2012)

 

 

Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader®
Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Bathroom Readers’ Press (2012)

By the
Bathroom Readers’
Institute

Bathroom Readers’ Press
Ashland, Oregon

OUR “REGULAR”
READERS RAVE!

“Your books are the greatest written word since Homer’s
Iliad
and
Odyssey
. Uncle John and all his staff at the BRI must be the smartest rubber duckies in the pool.”


Steven

“I’ve been a fan of your series for years, and I have two shelves devoted to them. I’m now equipped with an arsenal of fun facts for any occasion.”


Alex

“I have been an avid reader of
Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers
for years. Everyone knows what to buy me for presents. Just wanted to let you folks know that you keep me mesmerized (and seated) for long periods of time!”


Mitch

“I LOVE your books! It is so nice to be able to impress my family and friends with an arsenal of wacky, fun facts!”


Shayla

“My whole family loves your books. We wait anxiously for each new one to come out. The most recent one we are reading has definitely brought conversation out of the bathroom and to the dinner table!”


Trena

“I have about 30 of your books, and I want the whole collection! Do you know how much fun it is to start a conversation with a weird little tidbit from Uncle John?”


Rose

UNCLE JOHN’S 24-KARAT GOLD
BATHROOM READER
®

Copyright © 2011 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

“Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All rights reserved.

“When Life Was ‘Simpler’” is reprinted from
Secrets of the Great Old-Timey Cooks
by Barbara Swell, © 2001. Used by permission of Native Ground Music, Asheville, North Carolina (
nativeground.com
)

For information, write:

The Bathroom Readers’ Institute, P.O. Box 1117,

Ashland, OR 97520

www.bathroomreader.com

Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld, San Rafael, CA
(
[email protected]
)

BRI “technician” on the back cover: Larry Kelp

ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-655-5
E-book edition: May 2012

Hiya, Sophie! Hiya, Jesse!

THANK YOU!

The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible
.

Gordon Javna

John Dollison

Jay Newman

Brian Boone

Thom Little

Kim Griswell

Amy Miller

Michael Brunsfeld

Angela Kern

Jack Mingo

Megan Todd

Stephanie Fretwell

Eddie Deezen

Brandon Hartley

Eleanor Pierce

Jill Bellrose

William Dooling

Michael Kerr

Michael Conover

Ed Krenzolok

Claudia Bauer

Claire Breen

JoAnn Padgett

Melinda Allman

Monica Maestas

Annie Lam

Ginger Winters

Jennifer Frederick

Maggie Javna

Nate & Dena

Wayne Erbsen

Barbara Swell

Tom “Deli Style” Mustard

Sydney Stanley

David Calder

Erin Corbin

Julie Pigeon

Joseph Pisco

Media Masters

Publishers Group West

Bloomsbury Books

Raincoast Books

Porter the Wonder Dog (R.I.P.)

Thomas Crapper

Hiya, Sam! Hiya, Gideon!

CONTENTS

Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject.
Short
—a quick read
Medium
—2 to 3 pages
Long
—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required
* Extended
—for those leg-numbing experiences

 

BATHROOM LORE

Short

Celebrities in the Can

Medium

Bathroom News

Bathroom Finds

Toilet Tech

Uncle John’s Stall of Fame

Just Plane Weird: Bathroom Edition

A Cacophony of Caca

Uncle John’s Stall of Shame

Toilet Tech

IT’S A RECORD!

Medium

The Gold Watch Awards

There’s a Record for That?

Our State Is #1!

AMAZING STORIES

Short

Amazing Coincidences

Medium

Bouncing Babies

Self-Surgery

Tough Guys

Long

The Unluckiest Train Ride

Samantha Smith

*The Curse of the Demon Core

FORGOTTEN HISTORY

Short

Old History, New Theory

Medium

Kings, Sized

Named for a Ship

Ancient Sub-urbs

Hermits for Hire

Hail to Your Chief

FADS & FLOPS

Medium

Fabulous Flops

What It’s All About

Heartbreak Hotels

Obscure 1960s Fads

Fabulous Flops

AMERICANA

Short

Discharged!

Medium

Altered States

Failed Amendments

The Zero Milepost

When Life Was “Simpler”

Civil War Sidenotes

Constitutional Q&A

Long

Blood & Booty

*Myth America: “The Price They Paid”

*Born on the 2nd of July

LAW & ORDER

Short

Tweet Beat

Judges Gone Wild

Medium

Judges Gone Wild

Stung!

I Shoot You With…My Key Fob!

Dinner and a Lawsuit

Dumb Crooks

Strange Lawsuits

Here Comes the Judge

More Strange Lawsuits

Long

Law & Scandal

LIFE IS STRANGE

Short

It Wasn’t My Fault!

You’re Never Too Old…

Early to Rise

A Boring Page

Naked News

Medium

Ironic, Isn’t It?

Odd Scholarships

Odd Jobs

Uncle John’s “Creative Teaching” Awards

BATHROOM
TRAVEL GUIDE

Short

Before You Go

Going Places?

Medium

City of Fright

Five Things You Should Never Do in a Foreign Country

High Culture

HI-TECH BITS & BYTES

Short

Mr. Trololo

Medium

Craigslist Oddities

Viral Videos

The Big Challenge

Video Games vs. Reality

Doomed by the Internet

More Viral Videos

ORIGINS

Short

Random Origins

Medium

Forgotten Founders

Symbol Origins

Hardware Store Origins

Call Me Mister

The ’Umble Umbrella

CREATURE FEATURES

Short

Feline Facts

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