Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd (49 page)

• A version of the play directed by John Gielgud in 1942 was plagued by death. First, Beatrice Fielden-Kaye, in the role of one of the witches, died of a heart attack. Next, Marcus Barron, in the role of Duncan, died of angina. Another of the witches, Annie Esmond, died on stage one night while she was vigorously dancing around the cauldron. Finally, set designer John Minton committed suicide in his studio, surrounded by his designs for the
Macbeth
sets and costumes. The repainted sets were later sent on tour with matinee idol Owen Nares, who died during the tour.

• A Russian film version of the play was canceled when nine members of the crew died of food poisoning.

• During a 1971 production at the Mercer O’Casey Theatre, no less than seven burglaries and one fire marred the three-month run.

To avoid the curse, veteran actors give this advice: Walk out of the dressing room, turn around three times, spit or swear, knock on the door three times, and then humbly ask for readmittance. If that doesn’t work, try quoting this line from one of Shakespeare’s “lucky” plays,
The Merchant of Venice:
“Fair thoughts and happy hours attend you.”

Final note:
Abraham Lincoln was quoting passages from
Macbeth
to his friends the evening before he was assassinated.

*       *       *

Random Fact:
The Cairo Opera House was destroyed by fire in 1970. The Cairo fire station was located in the same building.

A sheepish tale of political intrigue from the United Kingdom.

B
AAACKGROUND

In September 2005, a zoning meeting took place in the town hall of the east London borough of Havering. The meeting concerned a proposal to convert an exotic horse and sheep farm into a mobile home park. To do so would require a zoning change and the council would have to approve it. Such zoning changes are commonplace throughout the world, but this one was different. Councilman Jeff Tucker, who represented the area where the proposed mobile home park would be built, got up to speak in favor of the idea. And that’s when the trouble started.

Somebody in the room apparently did not agree with Tucker. The anonymous adversary began making loud, sheep-like “baa” noises whenever Tucker tried to talk, drowning him out. Despite the fact that there were only a handful of people in the room—including just five city council members—nobody could figure out who made the noises…and nobody would own up to it.

Councilman Tucker was enraged (and the proposal failed). He lodged a complaint with the Standards Board for England, an oversight agency for governmental disputes. The board didn’t think it worthy of their time to determine who made the sheep noises and why, so they referred it back to the Havering council. The Havering Standards Hearings Sub-Committee began an investigation. They narrowed down the source of the “baa”-ing to four culprits, all of them city councilors. One of the suspects, councilor Denis O’Flynn, called the process “an extremely expensive example of the worst kind of bureaucracy” and “the height of stupidity.”

Fourteen months later the Havering city council issued a 300-page report, the result of an investigation that cost £10,000 (about $20,000). What did they find? The source of the sheep noises was Denis O’Flynn. The punishment: nothing. By the time the investigation was completed, O’Flynn was no longer a city council member…and no longer subject to any disciplinary action.

Proof that truth really is stranger than fiction.

T
OP CAT

“A 43-year-old man was hospitalized in Richmond, Virginia, after being blown off the top of a van moving at about 50 miles per hour. Police said the man was trying to hold down some wooden fencing that he and another man were trying to move without the benefit of rope, when a gust of wind carried him off.”

—
Funny Times

“A Frenchman was convicted for trying to run over a pedestrian he mistook for Osama bin Laden. The 35-year-old, identified as a struggling artist named Pierre, was sentenced to a three-month suspended prison term and ordered to pay 500 euros (about $615) to the victim. Pierre’s lawyer said his client was traumatized by recent terror attacks in Madrid and was temporarily the ‘victim of a hallucination.’ The victim was unharmed. He was able to run from the oncoming car, which crashed along the side of a street.”

—
Associated Press

“Rose Woodland of Winnipeg, Manitoba, is suing Dr. Andrew Robertson after he tried to fix her middle finger, which would ‘occasionally lock up.’ Instead, he made the finger extend permanently. She claims the stress of constantly giving people ‘the finger’ has led to a heart condition and she now needs surgery.”

—Winnipeg Sun

“It was simply a case of notifying the next of kin, but when police arrived at the dead man’s house they found the three-bedroom Geelong, Australia, home virtually packed to the brim with bicycles—more
than 1,000 of them. ‘In every room including the bathroom and kitchen there are bikes, bike helmets, chains, seats, and tires. It’s something else,’ said Sergeant Adrian Benny. ‘There are also bikes down the side of the house and there are two sheds full.’ He added that it was ‘ironic’ the man, who was aged in his 60s, died in the process of stealing a bike in Melbourne last week. ‘He must have had a bike fetish,’ he said.”

—Free Republic

“A Chinese pensioner who exercises by walking backwards around a lake had to be rescued after he lost concentration and fell in.
China Daily
, quoting the
Beijing Times
, says Yan, 72, believes his daily routine of walking backwards around Bayi Lake is good for his health. But he was apparently counting his steps instead of checking his surroundings, miscalculated, and fell backwards. Three other fitness enthusiasts saved him and took him to hospital, where he received three stitches on his head.”

—Daily Times
(Pakistan)

“Members of a ‘laughter club’ in Patna, India, described the decision to ban laughing at their local zoo as ‘autocratic.’ Chuckling was outlawed after Laloo Prasad Yadav, the president of Bihar state’s ruling party, was angered by the group ‘merrily laughing in chorus’ when he walked past them in the Sanjay Gandhi Botanical Garden and Zoo. ‘You are disturbing the peace of the flora and fauna of the zoo,’ Laloo reportedly told the group, before issuing instructions to zoo officials to enforce an immediate ban. Laughter clubs—groups of people who gather to laugh loudly in public to relieve stress—are a phenomenon in parts of India.”

—The Economic Times

*       *       *

“We stand on the threshold of rocket mail.”

—
Postmaster general Arthur Summerfield, 1959

UNCLE JOHN’S

BATHROOM READER

CLASSIC SERIES

Find these and other great titles from the
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Classic Series online at
www.bathroomreader.com
. Or contact us at:

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P.O. Box 1117

Ashland, OR 97520

(888) 488-4642

F
ELLOW BATHROOM READERS:

The fight for good bathroom reading should never be taken loosely—we must do our duty and sit firmly for what we believe in, even while the rest of the world is taking potshots at us.

We’ll be brief. Now that we’ve proven we’re not simply a flush-in-the-pan, we invite you to take the plunge: Sit Down and Be Counted! Log on to
www.bathroomreader.com
and earn a permanent spot on the BRI honor roll!

Well, we’re out of space, and when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Tanks for all your support. Hope to hear from you soon. Meanwhile, remember…

Keep on flushin’!