Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd (9 page)

So Adams played it cool and told the man to stop by his employment agency office the next day with the goods. When the man agreed, Adams went home and called the police, who instructed him to call them immediately if the man showed up. Sure enough, he did, and he brought his entire Elvis collection with him—including gold necklaces, a gold watch, sequined shirts, a gold-plated revolver, and even Elvis’s high-school ring. The price he wanted for everything: $80,000. Adams quietly called the cops, and then pretended to be interested until they arrived and arrested the man. Detective Kelli Hickle, who headed the investigation, gave Adams’s police work rave reviews: “I know a lot of Elvis fans who are going to be happy. I heard from a lot of them, and they were heartbroken.”

Adams was happy, too, crediting that incident with rejuvenating his crushed spirit. “I just believe my wife, God, and Elvis have got their hands in this. They set me up to do the right thing.”

In the 2000 mayoral election in Phillips, Wisconsin (pop. 1,600), there were two names on the ballot: Keith Corcilius…and Elvis Aron Presley. Inspired by the political career of former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura, a 50-year-old bar owner (real name unknown) who used to perform as an Elvis impersonator had his name legally changed to Elvis Aron Presley and then decided to run for mayor. “Ventura and I have a lot in common,” “Presley” said. “He’s a wrestler, and I’m a performer. We’re both political outsiders. If the people of Minnesota can put a wrestler in the governor’s office, I don’t see what’s wrong with people in Wisconsin electing an Elvis impersonator as mayor.” The voters didn’t agree: “Presley” lost.

Sometimes when you break into someone’s apartment to steal some power tools, you end up with a bunch of human heads instead. Go figure.

T
HROUGH RAIN, SLEET, AND GRAVEYARDS

In 2006 Aurelia Cenusa of Severin, Romania, got a large package in the mail. Was it a present from a friend? Had she won a prize? No, it was her father’s remains, exhumed from the grave he had inhabited for the last 16 years. The cemetery where he had been buried was sold, and the church that owned it mailed Ms. Cenusa the remains so that she could bury them somewhere else. “You could still even see bits of his funeral suit,” she said, adding that she planned to sue the church.

A 60-year-old woman from Woodbury County, Iowa, had been drinking from a mug of tea all day, when she got to the bottom of the cup…and found a dead bat in it. The woman—who asked to remain anonymous—put the bat in a plastic bag and took it to the health office in Sioux City. They sent it to a lab to test it for rabies which, fortunately, it didn’t have. “We test many bats,” said lab manager Mike Pentella, “but none that have drowned in a cup of tea before.” The woman was said to be “recovering from shock.”

Twenty-nine-year-old Jerry Rose of Jackson, Michigan, was at a party with some friends in the summer of 2006 when someone started a game of “What’s the stupidest thing you ever did?” The room suddenly went silent when Rose answered, “I shot a guy in the head.” For several months, police in the area had been looking for the killer of a 60-year-old man, and had no leads in the case until Rose’s girlfriend, who was also at the party, told the cops about the confession. Rose was arrested and charged with murder.

Barbara and Johann Meyer were speeding down a street in their hometown of Wachtberg, Germany, in 2006 when police officers pulled them over: A surveillance camera had taken an image of them speeding through an intersection. The Meyers explained that they were on their way to the hospital, where Barbara was about to give birth. Not only did the officers cancel the ticket, they gave the couple a baby present—a plastic toy policeman with a speed gun in its hand. They also gave the couple the photo from the surveillance camera, suggesting they put it in the baby’s first photo album.

Thieves in Vienna, Austria, got a surprise when they broke into the basement of an apartment building looking for tools to steal… and found eight severed human heads. Police said a dentist who lived in the building was using the heads for “research,” but they were looking into whether or not he had broken any laws. The thieves apparently ran away without stealing anything after they saw the heads.

In 2006 a 17-year-old girl from Pleasanton, California, was driving home from the store with a doll she had just bought for a parenting class at her high school. The doll suddenly let out a loud—and apparently very realistic—baby cry, which so startled the girl that she drove into a pickup truck. The girl, who was uninjured, was charged with speeding and driving without a license. The doll, according to news reports, had cried out because it had “wet itself.”

One night in April 2005, family members in a home in Nara, Japan, were awakened by some strange noises coming from the bathroom. They investigated…and discovered a young man relaxing in their bathtub. He was drunk. And he was a policeman. The 21-year-old off-duty cop had walked into the wrong house (his was 50 yards away) after a party. Arrested and charged with unlawful entry, he told reporters, “I can’t believe it wasn’t my bathtub.”

In April 2005, firefighters in Providence, Rhode Island, were on their way to a fire when the fire truck caught on fire. The fire started in the engine compartment, made its way through the firewall, and quickly entered the cab. Firefighters tried to put the fire out with fire extinguishers, but finally had to call another fire truck to help put the fire out. By the time help arrived, Engine 11 was completely burned. “This,” said Captain Peter Celini, “is unusual.”

*       *       *

…SUPERMEN.
In July 2006, the grandmother of one-year-old Jennifer Romero was pushing her granddaughter in a stroller, returning home from a grocery store in Oakland Park, Florida, when both were hit by a Ford van. Witnesses quickly realized that the baby was in trouble: She was still in her stroller—underneath the van, which had dragged her more than 80 yards. “We stopped traffic and got every big guy we could see,” said Wayne Ackerman, a bystander who stepped in to help. Six men then worked together to lift the front of the van off the ground, allowing the child to be pulled out from under it. Amazingly, the baby was uninjured; her grandmother suffered minor fractures.

…COINCIDENCE.
In June 2006, Barry Glinton and three friends were about a mile off the coast of Florida near West Palm Beach when a large wave crested their powerboat and it started taking on water. Glinton called the Coast Guard on his cell phone—he didn’t have a GPS system—and rescuers were able to locate him visually within an hour only because it was a clear day. On the way back to land, Coast Guard Lt. John Reed commented that he had rescued a boater in a similar situation in the very same spot a year earlier. Glinton said, “That was me.” The officer didn’t find the coincidence funny. “This gentleman got very lucky twice,” Officer Alber said, “but it doesn’t look like he learned his lesson about boating safety.”

People with unusual abilities have been reported and described throughout history. Are they real? Who knows?

•
Rosa Kuleshova grew up sighted in a family of blind people in the Soviet Union in the 1960s. She wanted to know what it was like to be blind, so she started wearing a blindfold and eventually taught herself to “see” with her fingers. According to Kuleshova, she could actually “feel” colors: yellow is slippery, violet makes the fingers stop moving, and red is sticky. Because she could differentiate between white and black she also claimed she could read newspapers and sheet music while blindfolded.

•
Working as a beacon keeper on the island of Mauritius in the 18th century, Etienne Bottineau claimed he could feel subtle changes in the air and atmosphere, and “sense” ships before they appeared on the horizon. Once tested in the 1760s, Bottineau accurately predicted 109 out of 111 ships before they arrived. The two he missed had changed course after he’d sensed them.

•
Jacques Aymar, who lived in France in the 1600s, had a gift for divining. One time he was dowsing for water and found a human head. He took his divining rod to the home of the dead woman and it pointed at her husband, the killer. Aymar went on to find dozens of criminals. His rod would guide him to a criminal and Aymar’s symptoms—sweating and passing out—told him that he had found the culprit.

• A rabbi in Lithuania in the early 20th century known only as “Rabbi Elijah” could retain and recite every word of every book that he had ever read. Elijah considered his ability to be a curse, with the complete texts of the 2,000 books he’d read in his lifetime flooding his brain and making it hard for him to concentrate.

• Benedetto Supino was 10 years old when he discovered he could set things ablaze by staring at them. In a dentist’s office in Formia, Italy, in 1982, the comic book he was reading suddenly ignited. Another day, he awoke when his bed was on fire because his pajamas were burning. Soon after, an uncle tested Supino’s abilities. He held a plastic toy in his hands. Supino stared at it and it ignited.

Part of the fun of travel is enjoying the local flavor. So on your next trip, eat the local food, see the local sights…and stay in a tiny underwater motel.

H
OTEL:
Hotell Hackspett

LOCATION:
Vasteras, Sweden

DESCRIPTION:
One of the tiniest hotels in the world, the Hackspett (Swedish for “woodpecker”) accommodates just one person, or a couple if they don’t mind sharing a twin bed. But what really makes the Woodpecker different is that it’s a tree house situated 30 feet above a city park. It’s accessible only by rope ladder. Meals are delivered with a basket and pulley. Despite its size, the hotel room includes a kitchen, a veranda, and a toilet.

HOTEL:
Hotel Filosoof

LOCATION:
Amsterdam, The Netherlands

DESCRIPTION:
Each of this 19th-century hotel’s 38 rooms is dedicated to a different philosopher or philosophy. So, depending on your mood or your level of enlightenment, you can choose a Nietzsche, Marx, Aristotle, Wittgenstein, or Zen room. Each is decorated with appropriate sculptures, murals, and quotations. Breakfast is served in the morning on a place mat covered in quotations by the philosopher of your choice. Bad joke: If the hotel is full, you’re out of luck—you Kant stay there.

HOTEL:
The Old Jail

LOCATION:
Mount Gambier, Australia

DESCRIPTION:
The Old Jail offers the accommodations—and decidedly spooky atmosphere—of a huge, 19th-century rural prison. The hotel was once the South Australian State Prison, which operated from 1866 to 1995. Not much changed when it was converted into a hotel. Showers are still communal and beds are still cots, but the cell doors can now be opened from the inside. “Inmates” sleep four to a cell (either with strangers or family) or can pay double for a private, two-person suite.

HOTEL:
Dog Bark Park Inn

LOCATION:
Cottonwood, Idaho

DESCRIPTION:
It would be odd to sleep on your back on top of a doghouse, like Snoopy, but it’s odder still to sleep
inside
the dog. The Dog Bark is a two-story wooden dog. It was built and is managed by a husband and wife team of chainsaw artists who invested the money they made selling dog-shaped wood carvings on QVC into building a dog-themed hotel. (And, yes, dogs are welcome.)

HOTEL:
Hemp Hotel

LOCATION:
Amsterdam, The Netherlands

DESCRIPTION:
Nearly everything in this five-room hotel is made out of hemp, a plant with a wide variety of commercial uses that’s often confused with its controversial cousin, marijuana. Mattresses, curtains, shampoo, soap, and even breakfast in this hotel are all made from hemp. Guests can choose from five themed rooms: Afghan, Moroccan, Caribbean, Indian, and Tibetan.

HOTEL:
Utter Inn

LOCATION:
Lake Malaren, Sweden

DESCRIPTION:
Literally “Otter Inn,” the hotel was conceived as a modern art project by artist Mikael Genberg. Guests enter through a cottage floating on the surface of Lake Malaren then descend 10 feet into an underwater “reverse aquarium,” where the room is dry—but surrounded by water and fish that are visible through wall-to-wall picture windows.

HOTEL:
Kakslauttanen Hotel and Igloo Village