Under the Spanish Stars (34 page)

‘Why don't you hate me? You have every right to.' Choking on a sob, she said, ‘You're my family and I've … I've ruined it for us. How could you ever love me when I've involved you in something so dangerous?' Burying her head in her hands, she mumbled, ‘That's two families I've destroyed because of my selfishness.'

‘What do you mean?' asked Claudia as she adjusted her shirt to allow Paulito to nurse.

‘My original family kicked me out because they couldn't accept who I
was and you took me in, treated me as your sister, and I put your lives in danger because of a selfish wish to exact revenge for my father's death.'

Salvador and Claudia exchanged glances and his wife gave a slow nod.

‘We have been keeping something from you as well,' Salvador said.

‘What?' Katarina leant forward, surprised and a little hurt.

‘We're not part of the Maquis, but we have harboured members as they have travelled in out of Granada.' Salvador rubbed the back of his neck. ‘We've been doing it for years.'

‘But I call into your house unannounced all the time, why haven't I ever seen them?' Astonishment swept through her. ‘How could I not have known?'

‘They use abandoned houses like this one,' Salvador said. ‘The locations change all the time and it was my job to ensure they had food, blankets and maps.' He paused, as if waiting for Katarina to take it all in.

‘I've been beating myself up about putting you at risk because of my association with the Maquis but you already were with them? Why didn't you tell me?'

‘Like you, sweet Katarina, we didn't say anything because the less you knew the better. It appears we have been working towards the same goal.' Salvador tilted his head to the side and shrugged. ‘Although I am not sure how we proceed from here.'

‘We need to find Raul,' she said, a cold sweat breaking out once more at the thought he could be at risk or … worse.

‘Of course we do, but we don't have the luxury of time. There are Maquis sympathisers near the French border in the mountains. We should be safe there and if we need to, we can always head to France and figure out what to do next.'

Salvador's voice echoed in her head, but the words didn't register. Less than forty-eight hours before, she'd lived in a false sense of security, thinking her actions had gone undetected. How naïve could she be?

She stood and smoothed down her skirt. ‘I'm not leaving until Raul's with us.'

Salvador looked up, his eyes full of concern. ‘It might be too late.'

‘It can't be. He's fine.' She moved towards the door but Salvador blocked her way.

‘You can't leave. People are looking for you. And most likely us. Raul
knows where we are. We'll stay here until midnight then we have to move—with or without Raul.'

‘I'm not going without him.' She gritted her teeth, tension racing across her shoulder muscles.

‘Stay then we'll reassess in a few hours time.' Salvador's eyes pleaded with her and uncertainty tore her apart. If she left their safe haven now, she was likely to run into trouble. Granada was large, but not so large that people couldn't find her, especially as her red hair shone like a beacon. Her only option was to sit tight and wait.

* * *

Hours ticked by but there'd been no sign of Raul. Katarina had to will her body to stay in the shadows of the hideout and not dash through the streets, anxiously looking for her lover. Glancing over at Salvador and Claudia huddled with their dozing baby, Katarina was struck by a feeling of gratitude for the important people in her life. She couldn't put them in jeopardy by leaving their haven now, she had to lie low, praying for Raul to safely return into her arms. Although the longer he was away, the fear of never seeing him again escalated.

‘It's time, Katarina.'

She looked over to find Salvador gathering his wife's bags as Claudia rubbed her eyes and held Paulito against her chest.

‘I can't,' Katarina said, panic zapping through her. ‘You go. I'll catch up later.'

‘No,' Salvador shook his head vehemently. ‘I am not leaving you at the mercy of the thugs patrolling this city. We don't know what happened to Raul and we can't afford to be on the streets to find out.' Placing his hand on hers, he said, ‘Once we get to the mountains, I'll get my Maquis contacts to send for him.'

‘But it could be too late.' Her voice cracked as she angrily wiped away hot tears. ‘I can't leave him!'

‘You can't stay here. I can access a car and we'll be on our way in minutes.'

Pursing her lips she shook her head. Although Salvador was right, time was not a luxury. If only they'd organised a meet-up place with Raul when he'd left this morning. Then again, they hadn't known the situation would spiral out of control so quickly.

Salvador and Claudia stood at the door, bags in hands.

‘Please, come with us,' Claudia said, her kind eyes glistening in the low candlelight.

‘I can't.' Various scenarios twisted in her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut to try to make sense of them. If she stayed she would be at risk but she
might
reunite with Raul. She had no idea where he was or even if he was still alive. A lump caught in her throat and she swallowed hard. A decision had to be made. Now.

‘Katarina, please.' Claudia begged.

Katarina pulled out her pencil and paper and started scribbling a note, trying to figure out how to make it cryptic for a stranger, but enough so Raul knew what she meant. She racked her brains, trying to come up with a meeting place but nothing came to mind. Then visions of their recent trip to Linares flashed before her. They'd taken a day away from Granada to breathe the fresh country air, trying to forget the war against Franco and just delight in each other's company. Heat rushed up her cheeks as memories crashed in of a naked Raul making love to her in the deserted farmhouse, the sun streaming through the slats of the boarded-up windows, their world one of love and solitude.

Farmhouse—Linares,
she hastily scribbled. This two-step plan meant if someone else found this note in Granada they'd have a hard time looking through the dozens of deserted farmhouses near Linares but Raul would know exactly which one would shelter her next note. It wasn't a perfect plan, but it was the best she could do.

Grabbing the painting she followed her companions to the front door. Slowly unlocking the latch, she peered into the dark alley. Nothing but silence. Turning to face Claudia and Salvador, she whispered, ‘If anything goes wrong we meet at Unha in the Aran Valley or at worst, across the border in France at Bonac-Irazein.'

She placed a scarf on her head in an effort to conceal her red hair. Opening the door, she gently stepped across the cobblestones, Claudia, the baby and Salvador following. They reached the corner and she peered around it. The street was quiet and they hurried along, heads down, intent on finding a car to steal. It went against their morals but at this juncture, their choices were limited. A lot of distance needed to be covered quickly.

Every step she took, layers of doubt weighed on her shoulders. Should
they have waited for Raul? What if … she shuddered and wrapped the shawl tighter around her shoulders.

‘There,' Salvador whispered as he pointed at a small vehicle down the road. ‘You two take cover and I'll work my magic.' He gave a wink and for a split second, her mood lightened.

‘Are you sure you know what to do?' Katarina asked, placing her arm around Claudia whose bony shoulders shook.

‘My youth was not misspent in this instance.' He shoved his hands in his pockets and casually strolled down the street while Katarina guided Claudia and the baby to a nearby alley. Paulito started to stir, his tiny hands stretching beyond the fabric he was cocooned in.

‘Shh-shh-shh.' Claudia tried calming the baby but he'd woken and now was hungry. In a pleading whisper, she said, ‘I can't feed him here.'

‘I know it's difficult.' Katarina held immense empathy for her friend. ‘But if the neighbours hear a crying baby on the street they're going to check.'

Claudia nodded and placed her pinky in the baby's mouth. He suckled on it for a while but grew restless, unhappy with no milk.

The street stayed eerily silent while Salvador casually walked up to the car, fiddled with the door, and a moment later rolled the vehicle down the street, one hand on the steering wheel and the other pushing it along. Reaching the alley where the women hid, he started the car and hurried around to the other side, throwing in the bags and gently placing Katarina's painting.

‘There!' A voice echoed as a dark shadow ran towards them. A moment later a large black vehicle spun around the corner, lights on full beam.

‘Get in! Get in!' Katarina flung the door open and jumped into the driver's seat while Salvador hurried Claudia and Paulito into the back seat. He crammed his burly body next to his wife and slammed the door as Katarina pressed the pedal down as far as it would go. The wheels spun as gunshots hit the car's metal body. Claudia screamed, the baby cried and Salvador's swearing filled the cabin while the lights of the speeding car behind lit up their terrified faces.

In a bid to lose their pursuers, Katarina gripped the wheel as she sped around corners, taking the narrow alleyways and backstreets she'd spent her entire life navigating.

She kept the accelerator flat against the floor as they broke free of
Granada, leaving behind her past and her lover, and sped north to the farmhouse in Linares.

* * *

Katarina sat on a chair on the veranda, sipping on the glass of water as she scanned the valley below. It had taken almost a week to get to the Aran Valley via small towns and using Maquis connections. Katarina, Claudia, the baby and Salvador had now been holed up in a Maquis safe house for the past six days, their plans uncertain. Snow-capped peaks of the Pyrenees towered above, framed by intense blue skies, and if she'd been here for any other reason, Katarina would have revelled in the fresh air, the open spaces, the beauty of nature surrounding her. But her heart remained heavy because every passing day lessened the chance of Raul arriving. She refused to think of the worst-case scenario because when she allowed those thoughts to enter her mind, sorrow, regret and guilt overwhelmed her. When she did sleep, her dreams replayed the ‘what-if' questions she battled with daily. What if she'd gone to the theatre to find Raul? What if she'd stayed at the farmhouse near Linares? What if the Maquis network hadn't insisted they head north because they couldn't guarantee her group's safety?

What if she never saw Raul again?

A sob escaped and she held her head in her hands. Claudia exited the house and quietly walked over to where Katarina sat.

Rubbing Katarina's back, Claudia said, ‘They say we should cross the border.'

‘You go. I'm waiting here.'

‘But no one from the network can locate him in Granada.'

‘That only means he's hiding well.' Katarina gritted her teeth, annoyed people kept telling her to give up on Raul. Her love for him remained steadfast and her instincts told her he was still alive. She prayed it wasn't just wishful thinking. ‘He'll come. He has to.'

Claudia didn't bother hiding her sigh as she got up and went back inside. Happy to be left alone again, Katarina studied the road leading up to the house. A slight breeze blew dust across the empty fields. Since leaving Granada she'd bargained with God, making deals for the safe arrival of Raul. It frustrated her that the requests remained unanswered and she detested the helplessness of waiting for a miracle.

She couldn't sit around any longer.

Making her way inside, she found Claudia and Salvador at the small table, baby Paulito happily playing with his toes as he lay on his floor on the rug.

‘I'm going back to Granada to look for Raul.'

The chair scraped against the floorboards as Salvador stood and slammed his fist on the table. ‘Goddamn it, Katarina. I am not letting you walk into who knows what down there. You're my responsibility and I'm not letting you out of my sight.' Fixing his gaze on her, he added for good measure, ‘Raul would not want you to risk your life for him.'

‘I'm going insane here!' She grabbed at the roots of her hair, the pain strangely satisfying. ‘Do you think sitting around is going to do us any good? Salvador, move the family across the border to France and you can wait this out until the Maquis advance here. In the meantime, I'm not wasting another minute.' She shrugged on her coat. ‘I'm going.'

The sound of a horse's hooves against gravel filtered through the open door. It wasn't supply delivery day, so Katarina grabbed Paulito, handed him to Claudia and whispered, ‘Back room.'

Claudia hurried without question towards the back of the cabin while Salvador and Katarina stood on either side of the front door, their backs to the wall. The hoof sounds grew closer. Her heart raced. Sweat ran down her spine.

The horse neighed and a voice called out, ‘I have news.'

Dashing through the door, Katarina lunged across the veranda and down the steps to Javier, their Maquis contact. Taking off his hat, Javier wiped his brow, his gaze landing on Salvador who now stood behind her.

She grabbed Javier's hand, her eyes searching his. ‘Tell me.'

‘Raul can tell you himself.' Javier winked and cocked his head in the direction of another horse galloping up the hill towards the house. A moment later, Raul halted the animal and dismounted, unstrapping the guitar and case she'd given him from his back. Raul limped towards her, his smile reigniting the fire in her soul.

Rushing towards her lover, she wrapped her arms around him, his frame thinner than she remembered. ‘
Mí amor
, I thought—'

‘Don't think. Just hold me.' His raspy voice met her ears and the moment their lips touched the torment of the past weeks completely dissolved.