Unforgivably Broken (The Broken Series Book Two) (6 page)

I heard Lili’s gasp behind me but by the time I turned, her face was completely void of all expression.
My
Lili was hidden away behind the emotionless mask she wore when she was in pain and didn’t know how to handle it. Tish’s eyes were cold as he held her arms but she didn’t seem to be struggling against his grip. She wasn’t looking at me, her eyes were trained on the picture in my hand.

“We should give them a minute to talk,”
Kas said, stepping forward and touching Tish’s arm. Her eyes when she looked at me were almost nervous. This was a fucking nightmare. I stared at Lili but she didn’t glance up as Tish turned her, directing her toward his bedroom at the back of the house.

“Paige,”
Kas said from the doorway and I looked back again, seeing Paige’s dark eyes locked on Lizzie.

“You nearly ruined my brother once with your bullshit. None of us will believe it’s his until you have proof this time. Fucking manipulative
twat waffle.” Paige’s voice dripped venom as she turned and followed Kas from the room. I heard Tish’s bedroom door slam and I could only imagine the words being said about me right now. Actually, my main concern was Lili and Paige being stuck in that room together. It probably wasn’t a good idea, given the volatile situation, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

Lili
.

Fuck.

I stared down at the picture in my hand as my mind worked, trying to add weeks as the date in the corner caught my eye.

“I brought that picture for you,” Lizzie’s
said, pulling me from my counting and I looked up at her, trying to keep my anger in check.

“I’ll tell you
what, I’ll keep the picture when you tell me exactly why I should believe that this is even mine.”

Lizzie exhaled and the sound was sad. She stepped forward, reaching out to touch my arm but I side
-stepped away from her hand. “Zane, I understand your hesitation. I never meant to—”

“I want proof, Lizzie. Before you say another fucking word, before you ask for a goddamn thing from me, I want proof.” I cut her off before she could start her shit.

“Fine,” she said quietly, her eyes on the carpet between us. “That’s fine. I’ll agree to any test you want to do. You have every right to doubt me.”

“Damn right I do.” I shoved the picture toward her. “I’ll look into the tests and get back to you. But
, I swear to God, if you show up here trying to start shit again…”

“I’m sorry,” she said, taking the picture and sliding it back into
the yellow manila envelope in her hand. “I just didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

“Bullshit. You wanted to start drama and you succeeded. You fucking lied to them and now I have to go deal with it.”

“I didn’t—”

“Yes, you did! I had no idea about any of this shit! You haven’t said a word to me about it!” I yelled
, grabbing my side as the exertion sent a shockwave of the pain I’d drank away to the forefront of my mind.

“Are you okay?” Lizzie asked, stepping closer as I nearly tripped, my free hand reaching behind me to find the wall so I could lean on it.

“I’m fine. You can go,” I said flatly, taking shallow breaths as I worked through the ache. The effects of the alcohol that had still been clouding my mind when I got home were gone. I needed to lie down. But first, I needed to talk to Lili.

“Are you sure? Do you need
—”

“No. I don’t need anything other than for you to leave, Lizzie.
Now.”

She stared at me, clearly shocked at my insistence. I took a few deep breaths before I straightened up and walked past her toward the front door.

“I mean it. Don’t come here again. I’ll call you when I set up the test,” I said as I held open the door. She stood in the entry, the tears in her eyes clawing at my resolve. “Look, you know if this kid is mine, I’m going to step up and take care of it. Hell, you can’t honestly think I would shut out my own child. I didn’t even shut out Conner when I found out the truth.”

“I know. You’re a great father to Conner and I know you will be to our new child.” Lizzie stepped forward, not wiping at the tear that fell to her cheek as she leaned her forehead into my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders automatically, not embracing but trying to comfort her. I remembered vividly how emotional Lizzie was when she was pregnant with Conner so I gave her a light squeeze, trying to soften the blow as I stepped away.

“This doesn’t change things between us, though. I’m with Lili,” I said, not meaning my words to hurt Lizzie but wanting to be clear about where I stood. “I’m in love with her.” I could see Lizzie’s body tense, clearly not liking what I said.

“I understand
.” Her voice was darker and she didn’t look up at me before she headed out the open door. I stood, watching until she was backing out of the drive, my brain finally catching up to the situation.

The walk to Tish’s room seemed longer than normal and I could feel the sweat on my forehead as I ignored the quickly rising
discomfort. Skipping the pain medicine in order to go to work with Lili, coupled with our activities after our fight, had taken its toll on my body. I paused at Tish’s door, listening to the silence inside. I could feel every punishing beat of my heart. The ache of it against the still healing ribs reverberated all the way to my toes.

When I opened the door, I would have a lot to answer for. No, I hadn’t known Lizzie was pregnant but something told me that wouldn’t be the biggest concern on
Lili’s mind. And honestly, she was the only one I was worried about. I turned the knob, taking note of the clammy sweat on my palms as I pushed the door open.

My eyes immediately scanned the room, spotting Tish and
Kas sitting side-by-side on the foot of the bed. Paige was looking through an old photo album on Tish’s dresser and Lili…

Lili
was sitting against the wall nearest the window, her tiny arms enveloping her shins and her body hunched as if she thought she could make herself invisible. Her chin rested on her knees as she stared at the wall across from her. She made no move to show she noticed my entrance other than a tightening in her eyes.

“I didn’t know,” I said,
unsure of who I was speaking to exactly. I never looked away from Lili but she still didn’t move. Paige closed the album and walked past me, not saying a word as she left the room. I glanced at Tish, whose expression was hard but he didn’t speak either. When I heard Paige’s door close, my only thought was I didn’t want to do this in front of Tish. I didn’t want an audience.

I walked over and knelt in front of
Lili, resting a hand on the wall beside her to help me balance. I saw the shaking in my hand and I knew it meant my body was fighting too hard against the pain. It was a battle I couldn’t win and I needed to take a pain pill. It was at that moment I realized just how I might be able to start breaking through her wall again.

“I didn’t know. You have to believe that I didn’t know, Pixie,” I repeated her words from what felt like forever ago when she was apologizing for Adam.

She finally looked up, her eyes scanning my face closely. Reaching out, she brushed at the damp hair that was stuck to my forehead with sweat.

“You look like hell,” she said quietly, her eyes brimming with tears.

“I need you,” I said, using the three words I’d said to her in the hospital when I wanted her to crawl into the bed with me so I could relax. She closed her eyes, clearly fighting her emotions as she nodded. I wanted to lift her up — oh hell, did I ever — and carry her to our bed, but I knew I’d never make it.

And honestly, she would probably get pissed off if I tried.

I used the wall to help push myself to my feet and held out a hand to Lili. She accepted and I pulled her to her feet, keeping her hand in mine as I led us toward our room. She didn’t speak but I knew she was uneasy. Her nerves were making
me
nauseous.

She released my hand as we entered the room, moving to the bed and shoving the blankets back. I grabbed my pajama pants from behind the pillow before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I’m… going to change and get you some water,” she said, snatching her shorts and tank top and slipping out before I could protest.

Tonight, what had almost happened between us, it probably should’ve changed
things. Maybe it would have if Lizzie hadn’t interrupted. Now things were… awkward.

We had become comfortable with each other but
Lili was clearly far from comfortable before she darted out of the room. I stood long enough to remove my jeans. I would’ve given anything for a shower to get rid of the reek of cigarette smoke clinging to my hair but it would have to wait until morning. I pulled the pajama pants up my legs and tugged the shirt over my head — trying to remove at least one more offensive article of clothing — and tossed it toward the closet door. The movement caused a piercing pain across my chest and I sucked in a sharp breath as I attempted to lie back to stretch.

Lili
walked in, her eyes widening as she hurried over and slid the water onto my nightstand. “Here.” She placed her arms behind my shoulders, bracing me the way the nurses had shown her to help control my body weight while my muscles continued to heal. Once I was angled against the pillows, she grabbed the bottle of pills from my nightstand and shook two out into her palm. Two would knock me on my ass for at least ten hours and there was no way I could afford to be that out of it with everything going on. I needed to talk to her.

I shook my head and she sighed, dropping one pill into my hand before grabbing the water. She took the bottle once I’d swallowed it and sat with it in her lap, still rolling the other pill between her fingers. I could almost hear her thoughts as she debated how to get me to take it.

“We need to talk,” I said, reaching over slowly to brush her hair behind her ear so I could see her face. She let the pill roll into her palm and stared at it, closing her small fist around it before lifting her eyes to mine. I saw the pain there and it tore at me worse than the wound in my chest. When the first tears fell, I was struggling to sit up so I could reach her. She moved closer, straddling my legs and resting against my thighs so I wouldn’t sit up. I cupped her face in both hands, pulling it to mine so our foreheads were touching while her tears fell between us.

“I don’t…
not tonight. Please? Can we please just sleep? I need to not think about it. That’s what I really need tonight. Can we? Please? I just… I just want to sleep,” she rambled, not looking away from my eyes. I saw the pleading in her expression and I knew she needed time.

“Promise me you won’t run,” I said. I hated that I had to ask but I knew
Lili and I knew what she was capable of when she was hurting.

“If you take this, I swear
, I’ll be right here when you open your eyes again,” she promised, holding out her palm with the other pill. I conceded, releasing her face and letting her grab the water before I swallowed the second pill.

She helped me lie the rest of the way down before she settled beside me,
placing her cheek against my overheated skin as her tears continued slowly. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, wanting nothing more than to kiss her goodnight but afraid to push her.

“I love you, Pixie.”

“I know. Me, too. I love you, too.”