Unsuitable (13 page)

“Do
you ever think about having another kid?”

She’d
wondered when he’d ask that. It was a basic job security question after all. “I
figure I pushed my luck with one.”

“Why?”

“Assuming
I could talk Mia’s surrogate dad into doing it again, or find another
appropriate donor, I’d need to take maternity leave again, I’d miss out at
work, again.”

“And
work’s more important to you?”

There
was the bitter tone again. “You’re mad with me.” It was astonishing, but he
was.

He
sighed. “Sorry. She’s a great kid. You’re a great mother. I’m being unfair.”

“I’m
an absent mother and there’s no guarantee a second kid wouldn’t be a little
shit. It’s enough that I do what I can to make sure Mia stays a great kid, and
having a good job to fund that is part of it, and yes, I like to work.”

Mia
waved from the top of the slide and Audrey waved back. “As mad as my job can
make me at times, as much as I worry about missing out on time with her, I’d go
insane without it. I know that’s not considered normal. It’s the reason my
parents don’t want anything to do with us. That’s their call. And I’m okay with
all of that.”

He
bumped her with his shoulder. “I’m okay with it too.”

She
smiled and bumped him back. “So why’d you poke the bear?”

“To
prove I’m not such a nice guy.”

“What
happens if I tell you that didn’t work?”

He
grinned at his feet. “I’ll have to try harder.”

“Why
would you want me to think you’re not a nice guy? Nice guy is part of your
skill set.”

He
got up and went to Mia.

“Reece?”

He
jammed his cap on walking backwards. “It’s all right for some of us skiving
off. I’m still on the clock.”

He
helped Mia climb into the wooden fortress. He kept glancing back at her. Her
brain was too slow to pick up his meaning and then. “Oh my God. You didn’t.” She
stood up. “With Carrie.”

He
turned and flipped her off and she laughed. It wasn’t an answer but she wasn’t
going to get another one right now.

While
Mia played, she checked her phone and returned a call to Les.

“You’re
not in your office,” said Les.

“I
took your advice and came home.”

“That
doesn’t sound like home in the background.”

“That
is the sound of children playing. I’m at the playground with Mia and Reece. I
feel a lot better. Reece is going to stay late and put Mia to bed. I’ll have an
early night and be back to myself tomorrow.”

“You’re
sure he’s not going to put you to bed and screw you into tomorrow? Not that I’d
blame you if he was.”

Audrey
groaned. Ever since the
Do the Propeller
nanny cam episode she’d copped
grief about Reece. Les was joking, but others in the office, not so much. There
were all kinds of innuendo flying about the possibilities for extracurricular
nanny activities. “You need to get out more.”

“You
can talk. And you have a totally acceptable virgin hunk at home on tap.”

“He’s
hardly virgin.”

“I
meant virgin to you, or is there something I don’t know?”

“And
you made me ring you because?”

“Never
mind. I can dream.”

“You’re
still dreaming of a certain builder with a girl’s name.”

“I
hope Mia wakes you five times tonight,” Les said, and hung up.

An
hour later, Audrey bought fish and chips, crumbed calamari and potato scallops
and they ate them with salt and lemon, sitting at one of the picnic huts. Mia
ate two big potato scallops, chased the seagulls while barking like a dog. She
did a couple of frog jumps which Reece explained were cartwheels she’d seen
kids doing at kindy gym, and fell asleep with her head on Audrey’s lap.

It
was too early to let her sleep long, but the night was so sweet, the time off
so unexpected, the chance to talk to Reece without one of them racing off
somewhere so tantalising, Audrey was reluctant to wake her. She was willing to
risk Les got her wish.

“Is
Carrie the reason you broke up with Sky?”

Reece
ate the last of the calamari and made her wait. He’d put his cap away and had
his sunglasses pushed up on the top of his head. His expression was all
mischief. “No.” She thought that was all she was going to get. He ferreted
around in the box their meal came in for the remaining chips. “Surprising as it
may seem, I have not succumbed to Carrie’s significant charms.”

She
took a sip out of her water bottle to mask her amusement. They sat catty-corner
to each other, so they could eat out of the same box and Mia could lay out full
length on the longest section of bench seat. “Less reason for you not to now
then.”

“What,
on the rebound?”

“I
don’t think she’d care.”

He
laughed. “I think you’re right. I’m steering clear of Carrie.”

She
picked up a burnt chip and ate it. “Junna?”

“What
are you trying to do, get me back on the horse already? I’m broken hearted. I
need to be alone to heal.”

If
that smile, the lilt in his voice, was his broken heart in action, he was
cruising for the mother of all romantic let-downs at some point. She poked his
forearm with her plastic fork. “You are such a try-hard.”

“Hah.
That’s why I broke up with Sky.” He slugged his water. His smiled dropped away.
Now there were shadows.

“Because?”
Audrey held her breath. Right now, she wanted this question answered more than
she wanted Mia to sleep through the night.

“Because
I don’t try hard enough.” He sipped again, taking the last of the water and
bagging the bottle with the rest of their rubbish.

It
wasn’t what she’d expected. The idea of Reece not trying hard enough was hard
to imagine. “Are you heartbroken?” He wasn’t quite himself, but he didn’t seem
wrecked, though he may be a better actor than she’d credited.

He
avoided her with the business of clearing up. He punted the tied bag of rubbish
at a garbage bin and it landed true and turned to face her. “Are you?”

“What
do you mean?”

“Did
someone break your heart so you decided to have Mia by yourself?”

She
didn’t have to have this conversation. He’d have to accept anything she
decided. “No. Never got my heart broken. Never met anyone I wanted to stay with
long term. Got scared I’d miss out if I wanted for lightning to strike.”

“So
you’ve never been in love?”

Damn
him for the neat table-turn, but she had nothing to hide from him. He
practically lived in her house. “I’ve been in lust. I’ve had relationships I
hoped might turn into something deeper, but I’ve never been in love.”

“Shit,
for real?”

He
looked appalled. She laughed at his shocked expression. “Why is that so hard to
believe?”

“Because
you’re fucking gorgeous. Men must’ve fallen all over you.”

Shocked,
she opened her mouth to say what— no idea— and he filled the gap. “I find it
hard to believe you thought you had no option but to go it alone.”

“I’d
hit thirty. I didn’t want to be approaching every relationship I had for the
next decade on the basis of whether the guy would make a good father or not. I
didn’t think that was a good idea, and I didn’t want to get that far along and
realise I’d missed my chance or settle with someone I didn’t love.”

“Jesus.”
He shook his head and looked away. She could see how the enormity of it
registered.

“Pretty
much every one of my friends at the time thought I was insane. Now I have
friends trying and failing with IVF, marrying Mr Right For Now or frightening
men away because they’re desperate.”

“Is
Les in one of those categories?”

“No.
Les is hopelessly self-conscious about her body type. She doesn’t think any man
will ever be interested in her in a romantic way.”

“That’s
too bad. She’s fun.”

“She
is fun. But she’s also right. For the most part men aren’t interested in size
eighteen.”

“What
about you? Now that you have Mia and you don’t have to be desperate, why
haven’t I seen a string of boyfriends coming to the house?”

“Good
question.”

“You
want me to guess?”

“This
could be amusing.” She rubbed her neck. She still had the headache, but Reece
and the salt air were good placebos.

He
thought about it, looking past her out to sea. He knocked his knee against hers.
“I have no flaming idea. I’m still thinking about how brave you were. Always
figured some bastard walked out on you, or died like what happened to Charlie.”

She
shook her head. “I don’t see it as brave. I was selfish. I didn’t want to miss
out and I knew I could give a child almost everything they’d need if I
organised it right.”

“Almost?
So why not keep trying for a relationship with a guy, with dad potential?”

“I’m
a thirty-four, nearly thirty-five year old single mum of a toddler, who has an
executive level job. How much time do you see me having for random dates with
guys?”

He
tapped the wooden slat tabletop. “You’d make time if it was important enough.”

“Possibly.”
She looked at a couple stroll by with a baby in a pram and toddler by the hand.
“Thing is, I’ve still not met anyone I’m interested in.” She couldn’t look at
Reece. If she did, he might know that was a lie that could boil the ocean.

“Does
that mean? Shit.”

She
looked at him sideways. He’d done the numbers and joined the dots. Not a
precise science, but she guessed he’d figured out roughly how long it was
likely to be since she’d had sex.

He
looked at his hands on the table. “Ah, none of my business, but that’s a crime,
Audrey Bates.”

She
grinned at his quirky formality and poked him with the fork again. For years it
had been a relief, not to have to worry about the whole meeting people, like,
lust, negotiate sex thing. “We should get Mia home.”

He
carried Mia. They met back at home. Mia grumbled though a quick sponge bath and
teeth clean and Audrey tucked her into bed while Reece hung out beach towels, rinsed
swimwear and got organised for tomorrow. They shared a pot of tea. With Mia
asleep, there was no reason for Reece to stay, but she had no incentive to ask
him to go and when he sat her on a kitchen stool, turned the lights off, stood
behind her and put his hands to her neck, she let herself dissolve into him.

“Close
your eyes.”

She’d
taken two headache tablets and his touch was the most exquisite ache. She
closed her eyes and drifted. “I shouldn’t let you do this.”

“Why
not?”

“I
like it too much.”

“That
was my cunning plan.”

“Is
this the part where you get me to believe you’re not a nice man?”

His
hands stopped moving, but the heat coming from them was a softening agent all
of its own. “This is the part where I tell you I want to kiss you and give you
the chance to tell me to go home.”

She
gasped and he started the massage up again. She shook her head because that was
impossible. “No.” Her heart was thumping so hard she looked down at her chest
to see if its beats were visible on her skin.

“No,
I can’t kiss you, or no you don’t believe me, or—”

She
reached up and stopped his hands. “No, you can’t kiss me. Please, Reece. We get
on well. We had a lovely afternoon. Don’t turn this into something it isn’t.”

“You’d
better tell me what it is then.”

“You
know what it is. I pay you a salary to look after Mia.”

He
pulled his hands away. “That’s all we are then, Boss?”

She
swivelled to face him. “Please don’t do this. There are too many reasons why
this can’t happen.”

“Name
one that counts.”

He
was so close she had to tip her head up to look in his face, her knees were
between his legs. “Common sense.”

“Audrey,”
he put his hands on her shoulders, “give me one good reason why I shouldn’t
kiss you right now.”

She
could give him a hundred if she was capable of thinking clearly. “I’m your
boss. There’s this unequal power thing. I’m too old. You’re not interested in
me. You just broke up with Sky.”

He
shook his head. She’d given him solid-core steel reasons. How could they not be
acceptable to him? “Mia.”

“Mia
is asleep. Nothing in Mia’s life needs to change because we kiss.”

She
wrapped her hands around the seat of the stool, because her head was spinning. “I
can’t have an affair with the nanny.”

“I
only asked for a kiss and all you had to say is you didn’t want it and tell me
to go home. I’m still standing here.” He took her chin in his hand. “Last
chance.”