Authors: Ainslie Paton
“Oh
my God, Reece. It’s been so long since anyone kissed me I’ve forgotten how.”
He
smiled. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever been touched by and he wanted
to kiss her. It might well have been out of pity, as an up yours to Sky, or as
some belated award for single parent bravery, but she didn’t care.
“That’s
what I wondered. So is that a yes?”
He
felt her nod. He would’ve felt her tremble. He might have even understood her
near terror because he moved so slowly, with such deliberateness and
gentleness, she had every opportunity to stop this and instead stood on the
stool rung, so she was properly face to face with him and could press against his
chest and put her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry if this is awful.”
He
wrapped his arms around her. “It’s already not awful. Are you ready?”
She
shook her head, then lowered her forehead to his shoulder. “No.”
“Then
how about I hold you for a while till you get used to the idea?”
She
laughed. He was too much. “I need to call your mother and tell her how
wonderful you are.”
He
grunted an objection and she sympathised. No man needed his mother in the room
when he was about to kiss a woman who was closer to her age than his.
He
nuzzled her hair. “Don’t think that, you’re not.”
She
lifted her head, appalled at being so obvious, at being so scared. “I can’t
afford for this to change anything.”
“It’s
a kiss. It’s not a new employment contract. I don’t want anything to change
either.”
“This
is a bad idea.”
He
frowned, but his eyes weren’t in it. “Shut up.” If there was a power imbalance
between them it was tilted fiercely his way.
His
breath was on her chin, then his lips were on hers and she sucked in a
surprised nose-full of air. He did nothing but hold still, letting her get used
to him. And it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t a kiss, it was a form of torture. She
put her hand to his hair, finally, its shine in her fingers and that made him
wrap her tighter before he sucked at her bottom lip, before he sealed his lips
over hers. He moaned and she lost the sensation in her legs, but it didn’t
matter because everything was about her lips and her mouth and the flick of his
tongue and the heated salty chlorine smell of him and the sounds he made.
It
was a kiss to grade all other kisses by. An asteroid to wipe out the history of
past kisses, a jolt to change the weather of all future kisses. It was a
wrecking ball of a kiss, demolishing her house of incidental celibacy to its rocky
foundation. His tongue swept her mouth, his hands held her back. He didn’t let
her breathe, or worry or judge, and when he finally drew away she chased him,
because if she was going to be destroyed it would be by gluttony, not
starvation.
They
kissed till they got good at it. Till it stopped being a shock and started
being the most exotic dance, where she trusted and anticipated, and he lead and
fulfilled, and still it wasn’t enough, but it was too, too much. He lifted her
when she slipped on the stool rung and broke away when he placed her on the
floor. His hand shook when he pushed back his hair and she was the one to lie
first.
She
pressed herself to his chest. She needed the wall of him to hold herself
upright. “That was fantastic.” Her voice warbled.
“It
was.” His was honey gravy on gravel.
“I
remember how to do it.”
He
laughed and hugged her. She couldn’t let him know how hard it was to make light
of it; to make nothing of it. “I won’t be so worried now about doing it on a
date.” She pretended not to notice the way his body stiffened. “Thank you for
helping me relax, for making me feel good.”
She
knew she should add something about it being a one-time thing, about it
changing nothing, but the words failed her. She needed him to leave because she
didn’t want him to see her come undone because every impulse she had was to
take him to bed and let him reteach her how the rest of this dance went.
She
walked him to the door instead. And they kissed again. This time with the sharp
lust cored out, with the ripeness of affection dripping through, soaking both
of them.
Audrey
slept fitfully, her mind a crisis of weird dreams woven with waking wonder. At
four in the morning she got up and checked on Mia. Her neck was so stiff, she
was going to need to see someone about it. The headache was back, she was definitely
coming down with something. She only hoped she hadn’t given it to Mia and
Reece. She turned her alarm off. She was going to need a genuine sick day. She’d
wake with Mia, call in sick at work, and go back to bed when Reece arrived. Her
last thought before she slept again was of the way he’d looked at her after the
kiss.
As
if she’d crash landed him on Saturn, a gazillion light years from home, and he
was ecstatic about it.
Reece
could hear Mia crying. Last night his head was so full of Audrey, the sucking
gut-awful panic she was going to play his bluff and order him to the nearest
building site, then the way kissing her short-circuited his brain, he’d left his
copy of her keys somewhere inside the house.
Normally
it wouldn’t matter. The front door usually stood open when he arrived in the
morning. But now it was a huge problem. Mia wasn’t just crying, he could hear
her distress, and he was locked out of fixing whatever it was, and it might
make Audrey run late.
He
rang the bell, feeling like a right berk. He wasn’t sure whether to play it
cool with Audrey or...yeah, there was no other option, he had to be cool.
Mia’s
crying got closer till he would see her form through the frosted glass panel in
the door. “Good morning, Mia. Silly Reece forgot his keys, can you open the
door for me?”
“Mum
won’t wake up.”
He
played the door handle again. It didn’t shift. “Mia, can you open the door for
me.”
He
heard her scrabble at the handle too. “Mum won’t wake up.”
Fuck,
yeah he’d heard that right. What the fuck was going on? “Where’s Mum?” He
punched the bell and called. “Audrey. Audrey.”
“She
won’t wake up.”
Oh
fuck, fuck. “Mia, where is Mum? Can you find the keys and open the door?”
Mia
sobbed, disappeared from the glass. He yelled for Audrey and dialled the house,
heard the phone ring inside. He heard Mia running towards the kitchen then
back.
“I
don’t know where any keys are.”
The
phone timed out. The backdoor would be locked as well. “Okay. It’s all right. Go
and stand near the TV for me. I’m going to make the door open.”
She
disappeared again and he put his shoulder to the door. The glass broke first,
then a panel gave and he battered the door at the weak point until it gave and
he could pull it part piece by piece. Mia had stopped crying. He stepped over
the pieces of glass and wood into the house and found her in the other room,
curled into a ball by the TV, too scared to cry.
He
swept her up and cuddled her close, calling for Audrey. His heart was beating
in his temples, all his senses were on hyper alert. Mia had wet herself. The
house was deadly quiet. Audrey was in bed, curled under her sheet. She looked
peaceful, but so still she could be dead.
“Audrey.
Audrey.” He sat on the bed and shook her. “Fuck. Fuck. Audrey wake up.” She was
hot to touch, feverish, her breathing shallow. He planted Mia on the bed and
shook Audrey more firmly. She moaned, but otherwise nothing. Mia started to cry
again while he called for an ambulance. The wait to connect far longer than was
reasonable. He tucked Mia into his lap and climbed further into the bed so he
could be close to Audrey, so he could hold her. None of that sound or movement
had any impact on her.
“Mum’s
sick.”
He
stroked Audrey’s damp hair. “Yeah, she’s sick, but the ambulance is coming and
the doctor will make her better.” Shit, he had no idea what was wrong with
Audrey, what he should be telling Mia.
“You
broked the door.”
“We’ll
fix it.” That’s something he could do. He called Polly, told him the barest
details, made him promise to run late on a job, detour here to measure up for a
new door.
When
the ambulance arrived he realised it was exactly as serious as he’d feared. The
paramedics got Audrey to wake briefly. They shook her much harder than he’d
been prepared to, almost rough with her. She whimpered, opened her eyes but
couldn’t focus or keep them open. He couldn’t answer any of their questions
except yes, she’d been feeling tired, had a headache and a stiff neck. No, he
no idea how long she’d been unconscious or how to contact her next of kin. But
he’d work it out.
They
moved fast, lifting her onto a stretcher. While they moved the stretcher out of
the house he found Audrey’s phone and called Les. He got her message service
and left a voice recording to say Audrey was unwell and wouldn’t be at work today.
While they were loading Audrey into the ambulance he scrolled through her phone
address book and found her mother’s number. He needed to ring that number. He
needed to know where they were taking Audrey first. He needed to get Mia
cleaned up.
“We’ll
call Nanna.”
“No.”
Mia clung to him, her fingers digging into his neck. She hardly knew Nanna.
“Want
to get dressed?”
She
shook her head. “Mum.”
“We’ll
go see Mum in hospital but you can’t go in your jammies.” How long had Mia been
awake trying to wake Audrey? What the fuck was wrong with Audrey? Why hadn’t he
paid more attention? Was she feverish last night? Did she feel faint? He should
know that. How could he have spent the afternoon and evening with her, held her
in his arms and not know?
Polly
arrived as the ambulance pulled away from the front of the house. “Holy shit,
Reece. What did they say?”
They’d
said nothing, except where they were taking her. “Can you fix this?”
Polly
assessed the doorway. “Fuck. You couldn’t use keys like a normal person. Or maybe
the back door.”
Mia
whispered, “Fuck,” into Reece’s neck.
He
swung her across to the other hip, held her face to the crock of his neck and
snapped at Polly. “Mind your mouth.” But hadn’t he said that earlier ? God, he
might’ve said anything, the dread that sat in his throat. When he couldn’t wake
Audrey, when all he could think was she was already gone before he had the
chance to get to love her.
“I’ll
fix this temporary till you buy a new door.”
“Just
get the house secure.”
“What
are you going to do with Mia?”
“I’ll
have to call Grandma. But she’ll be fine with me, till we work out what to do.”
“I
don’t want Nanna. She’s not nice to me.” Mia’s breath quickened, close to tears
again. She tucked her fingers into the collar of his shirt, tried to climb
inside it.
Polly
pulled a tape measure out of his tool belt. “Mia, will you help me fix the door?”
She peered at him through her hair. He held out a builder’s tape measure,
showing her how it worked. “Would you hold this for me?”
“Don’t
let her jam her fingers in that. Can’t you give her a pencil or something
simple?”
“Hold
it together there, mate.” Polly whipped out a chewed HB. “Here is my magic
pencil.” He held it out to Mia and she looked at it with suspicion, but it was
a good distraction. Reece wouldn’t put her down till he got the glass cleaned
up and shoes on her feet. He was about to get to that when a taxi pulled up.
Les
got out and walked towards him with a smile for Mia that became a frown when
she saw the shattered door and Polly, and hit Reece with a blur of questions: “What
happened? Did someone break in? Where’s Audrey? Is she hurt? You said sick. She’s
never sick. Why is Mia wet?” She pointed at Polly. “Why is he here?”
Polly
laughed. “Hello, Les. You never showed at the pub.”
Mia
giggled and that was the best thing that could’ve happened. “Mum went in the
ambulants.”
“What?”
Les tried to push past Reece to get into the house.
“I
couldn’t wake her. They’ve taken her to St Vincent’s.”
“Oh
God. Oh God. What did they say?”
“Reece
broked the door.” Mia held the pencil out to Les. “This is a magic pencil. I
wet myself. I was scared.”
Les
took the pencil and looked it over. “Why didn’t you say it was serious on your
message?” She handed it back to Mia.
He
didn’t know it was the right thing to ring Les, but he’d had to tell someone at
Audrey’s work. “I—”
“We
have to make an arrangement for Mia.”
He
hoisted Mia to his other hip. “I was going to—”
“Let
him get a word in,” said Polly.
“I
wasn’t talking to you.” Les shut Polly down further with a look that said
crowbar to the ear.
Polly
hand’s came up to his head, but he grinned at her. “Not so shy when you’re taking
charge.”
“Why
don’t you fix the door?”
“Yes,
Ma’am, that’s what I’m here for.”
“Then
why is there glass everywhere?”
Reece
left them to it and took Mia inside. Les and Polly argued while he gave Mia a
bath, got her dressed and plaited her hair. They were both in the kitchen, quietly
seething at each other, when he came in to make Mia breakfast.
He
got Mia sorted, drank tea Les made and called the hospital. No news. Audrey was
critical but stable. They said not to come in yet, it would be a little while
till they knew what was going on. He hung up, fear knotting tighter in his
chest. Knowing he needed to ask what symptoms to look for in Mia, and in
himself. Then he rang Audrey’s mother, Esther and after that he needed
something with more kick than tea.
He
had five minutes to collect himself and he was confronted with Merrill and Joe.
He’d met Merrill but not Joe. Mia was happy to see them. Joe looked tense. Polly
went back to the door.
Merrill
started making plans. “Thank heavens you were here, Reece. I don’t want to
think about what might’ve—” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m not thinking
about it.” She smiled at him grimly. “Joe and I will take Mia until we can talk
to Audrey.”
“They
don’t want us at the hospital yet.” They were unlikely to want all of them in
any case. And no adult here qualified as family, but they wanted to talk with
him and see Mia.
“No,
I mean. I’ll take over. Joe and I, until we can ask Audrey what to do.”
He
looked at Les, searching for an ally, but she must’ve called Merrill and Joe. Was
that the right thing for Mia? Esther was a day’s travel away and didn’t intend
to make the trip unless it was necessary. He’d thought unconscious, ambulance
and hospitalised, plus granddaughter, might have been enough necessary. Apparently
not enough to override Audrey choosing to be an unmarried mother. Jesus, that
was hard core.
“Might
be best, Reece,” said Les.
He
got Mia’s attention. This didn’t sit right with him, but then his feelings were
all tangled up: shock, guilt, fear. “Merrill and Joe are going to look after
you today.”
Mia
looked at Merrill, looked at Joe, turned her eyes to him. “No. You.”
Joe
laughed. “Merry will take you to the park, Mia.”
“No.”
“You
like the park,” he cajoled.
“No.
Today we have swimming.”
“Not
today, honey bun. Next time,” said Merrill.
Mia
shook her head. “No. Today.” She got up from the table where she’d been
dressing Princess Olivia, walked into Reece’s side and wrapped her arms around
his leg.
He
put his hand to the top of her head. She’d been so brave. “It might be better
if we keep her routine as close to normal as possible. She’s had a hell of a morning.”
“We
appreciate your effort, but this is a time for friends and family,” said Joe.
He
studied Joe, a suit and tie stiff. “It’s my job to look after Mia.”
“Yeah,
look, mate. We can’t leave Mia with you,” Joe said. “We want to do what’s best
for Audrey.”
Reece
shook his head. He didn’t like where Joe was going with this. The guy had
obviously detoured from work and needed to be back there. He kept checking his
watch.
“I’ve
taken the day off,” said Merrill. “I’ll take the week if I have to. Whatever
Audrey needs.”
“There’s
no reason for you to do that. I can do my job.” Is that what Audrey would want?
They’d never talked about this kind of emergency and they should’ve thought to.
“Mate,
we’ve got this. How about you leave your number with Merry or Les and we’ll
keep you in touch.”
Fuck.
“No.” He shook his head. He almost laughed. He sounded like Mia with her
declarative statements. He wasn’t letting them shut him out of this. He’d
kissed Audrey last night and this morning she was deathly ill. Everything had
changed even before he broke the door down to get to her and Mia.
Once
he’d seen her so pale, so fragile, all the life washed out of her, something
had shifted inside him. He was not going to be shut out of this willingly.
“Looking
after Mia is my job and there’s no reason to change that. I think Audrey would
expect things to be as normal as possible for Mia.”
“This
isn’t simple, Reece. Audrey might be out of action more than a day or two,”
said Les.
“I
couldn’t wake her. The paramedics shook her so hard I thought they were going
to break her. You don’t need to tell me how serious this is.”
“That’s
right, mate. But you’ve done your part. Let us take over now,” said Joe.
Merrill
got down on her haunches to go face to face with Mia. “Let’s get Harry Giraffe
and whoever else you want and let’s go.” She gave Reece a wary look and clapped
her hands, smiling brightly to encourage Mia. Mia turned her head away and ground
her forehead into his leg. He tried not to look smug about that.