Unsuitable (15 page)

“Pick
her up, Merry—” said Joe.

Merrill
frowned. “I’m not—”

Mia
grizzled. Reece watched as his position got eroded like a set of waves eating
at a sandcastle.

“What
if—” said Les.

Joe
cut her off. “Look, you seem like a nice enough guy, Reece, but we can’t rely
on Audrey’s mum and it’s not your responsibility. Mia is better off with us.”

“You’d
rather take her away from her routine than let me do my job?”

“Never
thought she’d hire you. No hard feelings. Merry and I are Mia’s legal
guardians. We’re not leaving Mia with you.”

No
hard feelings
. “Please let me do my job.” If there
wasn’t a very unsettled three year old in the room, Reece would have a
different response to suit and tie, legal guardian or not. If he was a woman
would they even be having this conversation? Would there be any doubt Mia was
better off with him, with her regular routine for now?

Joe
shook his head. Mia started to cry. Reece picked her up and glared at Joe. Fuck
Joe. Mia wasn’t some toy to pass around, and he wasn’t some two bit teenage babysitter
you could send home with a pat on the head when things got tough.

Merrill
plucked at Joe’s arm. “Why don’t we wait and see what we learn from the
hospital. Audrey might be conscious and she can tell us what she wants.”

“Good
idea,” said Les. She handed Mia a biscuit. Mia threw it at her.

The
day got worse. Audrey had meningitis. The type that could kill you. That came
on suddenly with ordinary feeling off-colour symptoms. She was gravely ill, on
oxygen, being fed antibiotics and fluid intravenously. He should’ve broken the
house down to get to her quicker. They had every expectation she’d recover. They
said that as though they also had any number of expectations she might not. But
they’d caught it soon enough, before the rash, before limbs and brainstems were
compromised, so there was hope.

Hope.
Jesus
Christ
. What if this had been the weekend?
Holy fuck
.

He
stood with Merrill, Joe and Les, in a hospital waiting room and tried to absorb
what they’d been told while they waited for a doctor from public health to
consult with them. Mia wouldn’t leave his arms, didn’t want to be put down.

Merrill
tried to take her. “Mia, can I have a hug too?”

“No.”

“Oh
please.” Merrill was good at this, she was trying to help, but Mia had superhero
stubbornness

“No.
Leave me alone.” Merrill tried a tickle attack. Mia turned her head away but
said very succinctly, “Fuck.”

Merrill
gasped, but knew enough not to make a big deal of this, with Mia at least. She gave
him a death stare, and what remaining position, what limited moral authority he
had took another knife to the guts and bled all over the sanitised hospital
floor. His only salve was that Mia knew exactly how that word was meant to be
used. Clever, like her mum.

The
doctor from public health chose that moment, when Reece was the poster boy for
bad child care to arrive. He needed to talk to her about whether meningitis was
contagious and if Mia was at risk. If he was. The doc briefed them further on Audrey’s
treatment. The best thing was learning he didn’t need to beat himself over
knowing how ill she was.

Symptoms
onset for bacterial meningitis was sudden and for the most part unremarkable: a
sore neck, sensitivity to light, a fever, a rash, which was partly what made
the disease so dangerous.

Reece
kept his voice down and his enquiry about himself neutral, it was entirely unreasonable
to be concerned, but he saw naked curiosity fix in Les’ eyes, and knew Merrill
was made of ears.

Close
contact made meningitis contagious. Sharing cutlery, coughing, sneezing. Kissing.
The doc wanted Mia on antibiotics. Told him what to watch out for, what to do. Explained
that Reece should be fine, have enough immunity to combat casual contact, but
he couldn’t muck about with this.

“We,
er, might’ve had closer contact.”

“Oh
yes. You found Audrey this morning.”

“I
held her.”

“You’re
right to ask,” Doc stoked one of Mia’s plaits, “but you should still be fine
like this little one.”

She
turned to go. The others were watching. He was forced to speak up. “We had
closer contact.”

She
stopped, turned and studied him. “Mmm, how close?”

He
frowned. This woman was criminally intelligent. She could guess what he was
getting at without him having to say it. If he didn’t have to say it, he could
protect Audrey. Once he said it there was no going back, it was everything
Audrey wanted to avoid.

“Did
you have sex?”

Joe
said, “Holy shit,” and Merrill shushed him.

Reece
kept his focus on Doc. He didn’t want to see how he was screwing Audrey over
with her friends. “No. We kissed.”

“When?
Are we talking a peck on the cheek?”

He
shook his head. “Last night.”

“You
need a course of antibiotics too.” She walked. “Come with me.” He followed.

“Reece.”

He
let Joe call after him. He wouldn’t make a scene, he had no rights here. He
wouldn’t even get to see Audrey, and it needed to be about her and Mia, not his
own wounded pride.

When
he came back with the filled prescription, Merrill reached for Mia. She had a pink
iced donut as a lure and Mia was hooked, going willingly into Merrill’s arms.

“We’ll
look after Mia. We’ll stay at the house tonight so she’s in her own bed. Give
me a call tonight and I’ll update you on how Audrey is.”

“Merrill
will call you when Audrey needs you again, okay?” said Les.

Not
okay
.
Not right. Not best. Not fair
. He’d been dismissed, because he was an
unknown with no rights, a threat, because Mia learned a swear word, because
he’d kissed Audrey and no one knew what to make of that, and he couldn’t tell
them it was the most incredible thing that’d happened to him, because it hadn’t
meant that much to her, other than a drought break, a moment out of time,
something she might not remember when she was well again.

Merrill
kept Mia busy while he left. He had to rip her car seat out of his car. The
only pleasure in that was knowing it’d be a pain for Joe to refit in his. He
called Polly and gave him an update. He was finishing up. He drove to Audrey’s and
found Polly had installed a new door identical to the one Reece had trashed.

“Thought
you said it’d be a temporary fix?”

“It
was. Then I got lucky with stock. And man, Audrey needs a break. This is a
present from Pollidore Homes, because shit, meningitis.” He shoved his drill in
his tool bag. “Where’s little Audrey?”

“With
Merrill and Joe. I’m out.”

“What
do you mean, out?”

He
tried his key in the door. Polly had used them to key the lock the same, making
it easy for everyone. “I dunno, dismissed for now at least.”

“Can
they do that?”

He
shrugged. “They’re her legal guardians.” He re-pocketed his keys. He wasn’t
giving them up yet. “Until Audrey is awake we don’t know what she wants.”

“Right,
right, but this is a temporary thing, because she’s going to wake up, right,
and she’s going to want you back on deck.” Polly ran a hand over the door,
brushing a sprinkling of fine sawdust off the glass panel.

Reece
looked at the door. You wouldn’t know its twin had been in pieces a few hours
ago. You couldn’t know how close to death Audrey would come this morning, when
you kissed her breathless last night. The shock of that still hadn’t left him. The
idea that she might not recover was bigger than he could grasp.

Polly
picked up his tool bag and shoved it in the back of his ute. “Reece?”

He
followed Polly to the kerb. He felt lost. He still felt gut sick, anxious about
Mia, rocked about Audrey. He knew he wouldn’t feel right till he learned she
was awake and issuing instructions again. And it was the middle of the day. What
was he supposed to do without Mia?

“I
might’ve fucked up.”

“With
the kid? No way. So what’d you do to Audrey?”

For
a guy who had trouble accepting Reece preferred building with Lego to building houses,
Polly was a good mate. When Reece had shown up with a bag of clothes, his
pillow and assorted possessions after the bust up with Sky, he hadn’t said a
word about it. Just thrown a couple of sheets at him and asked for help moving
the massive TV screen out of the spare bedroom.

“I
kissed her.”

“Like,
on the forehead?”

Why
did everyone go there first? Why was it such a leap to think he’d want to have Audrey’s
mouth all over him, his all over every pore of her silk soft skin? He shook his
head.

“Fucking
hell, Reece.”

“Yeah.”

“Are
you going to get sick?”

“What?
No. Maybe. I dunno. I’ve got to take antibiotics. Precautionary.”

Polly
weighted that. He leant against the cab of the ute. “So you kissed your boss. Heavy.”

“Yeah.”

“How
was it?”

“I’m
not talking about it.”

“Yeah
you are, unless you want to go home to Charlie and chuck Etta out of your old room.”

Reece
grunted, braced both hands on the side of the ute. It was full of broken bits
of the old door. He was full of chopped up feelings; sharp, angular, awkward,
useless.

“Jesus.
It was. Man, I.” Polly laughed and he hung his head. “Make out session of my
life.”

“No
kidding?”

“You’ve
seen Audrey, you know she’s hot, but it’s more than that. Objectively Sky was
hotter.”

“Oh
shit, no you don’t.”

He
knew what Polly meant. No, he couldn’t have a serious thing for Audrey. It had
to be confused, crapped up with leaving Sky. It had to be proximity or some
other weird science. Except it wasn’t. He’d never felt for Sky what he felt for
Audrey.

The
best parts of his day were when she raced past him in the mornings with a bunch
of quick commands; crisp, official, tailored and severe, smelling of exotic
scents, untouchable Ms Bates, with her hair so smooth and her makeup perfect. And
when she staggered home at night, her hair loosened, wisps about her face, lips
pale, feet hurting in her heels, a little worn but softer, calmer, more open. Turning
to him for news of the day, for updates on Mia, for conversation that wasn’t
about deadlines or milestones or office politics, unless it was about an appointment
for Mia, or a new thing she’d learned, or gossip from playgroup.

With
him, Audrey relaxed. She untucked, went barefoot, unpinned her hair. She
laughed. She told him about her day, or waved it off to focus on his. She was
home, and he was part of that comfort, and maybe it was that he loved, the way
their different worlds came together so easily without judgement. But he was
drawn to her. He’d kissed her like she was a new experiment in sensation,
forbidden and familiar at the same time. He’d held her pressed against him, had
her pulse thud under his fingers, and her tongue in his mouth and that, just
that, chaste, no buttons undone, no flesh exposed, no hands anywhere too
intimate made him want her like he’d never wanted any other women he’d kissed.

And
she’d thanked him for reminding her how it was done so she could do it with
someone else.

And
she was so ill she might die.

Polly
laughed. “If you could see your face.”

“I
screwed up.” He’d read too much into it, made too much out of it. And now it
looked worse than it was to a group of people who had Audrey and Mia’s best
interests at heart. “And she’s so fucking sick, Pol.”

A
slap on his back. “Buying you lunch.”

He
had nothing else to do and Polly wasn’t in a hurry to get to the rest of his
day. They ate. They shot the shit about stuff. Polly did all the work. Reece
let him natter on and barely listened while he thought about all the ways he
could’ve been smarter about Audrey, all the ways life would change without her.
He tuned in when Polly mentioned Les.

“What’s
Les’ story then?”

“Lawyer,
works with Audrey. A friend. She was the only one I could think of to phone at
Audrey’s work this morning.”

“What
else?”

“Why
do you care?”

Polly
gulped the last of his ice water. “I like her.”

Reece
stopped looking at the wall of liquor and looked at Polly. “You like Les. She’s
not a pole dancer, a fitness trainer, a jockey or a cop.”

“Say
it.”

“That
she’s out of your league? That she’d eat you for breakfast? That she did?”

“That
she’s fat.”

“Yeah,
she’s heavy.”

“I
don’t care.”

“I
don’t get it.”