VIP (7 page)

Of
course, I experimented with drugs, still do occasionally. Although, drugs
aren’t my vice, men are. Drugs are just something that I used for recreational
fun. When you live in Miami, you tend to be around it all the time. They’re everywhere,
and you don’t even have to go looking for it, somebody always has something on
them, or knows someone who can get it for you. One could say that the more
money you have, the more you snort up your nose, at least from what I have seen
anyway, and believe me, I have seen a lot.

Drugs
are a means to an end for me. They give me a false sense of happiness for a few
hours, and sometimes that’s all I am looking for, an escape from my reality. It
makes me feel empowered, almost like I am in control of everything around me. I
thrive for that control. I can honestly tell you that I don’t know where that
need comes from. It’s something that is within me, it’s like part of my soul. Maybe,
it’s the fact that I was raped at such a young age. That control was taken from
me, taken by a John that didn’t give a fuck that I was only twelve. It’s
possible that, that John made me this person, someone who needs and seeks control,
who the fuck knows and I’m not about to spend any more time analyzing why I am
the way I am. It’s something that is a part of me, and I have learned how to embrace
it.

I had to
do that. Either I embraced it, or ended up in a rubber room filled with
crazies. I wasn’t that person. One thing about being raised by yourself, is that
you tend to become stronger and stronger. I was the strongest brick wall built
by man. My brick wall was built by me, one brick at a time. Nobody could
fucking knock down my wall. I wouldn’t allow it. That’s why I kept the people
in my life at bay. I didn’t need emotional bullshit, never did.

I don’t
want to talk too much about the drugs, because I don’t want you to associate me
as a crack whore. First and foremost, I never did crack. However, in order for
you to know me I need to be honest and drugs are a part of that honesty. Drugs
are a part of my story. I need you to understand something. I NEVER, did what I
did for drugs or money. I know a lot of people associate living this kind of lifestyle
with both those things, that wasn’t why I was involved. Whether you believe me,
or not is your decision, I haven’t lied to you yet. I could sit here for days
trying to explain what made me leave the bar, I don’t think you would ever
fully understand. To live the life that I have lived, and to have never felt any
sense of anything, and by anything I mean nothing; it was tough.

I don’t
regret any of my decisions. I did what I had to do, wait…that’s bullshit. I did
what I wanted to do. I wanted to feel power, control, I wanted to feel
everything. I wanted that, like I wanted my next breath. As much as I want to
say that I was excelling at pretending to be content, I don’t think I did a
very good job. I mean, yeah, I had a nice place, nice things, friends, the job,
and the money. It should have been enough…Right? It wasn’t. I wanted more,
something else, something I couldn’t seem to put a finger on. I slowly felt it
eating away at me, little by little.

I sat at
the bar one slow Monday afternoon, it was a little over a year since I had been
in Miami, it was just Devon and I. He had sent the other employees home, since
we were so slow.

“I miss
you, Kid, I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“What
are you talking about, Devon? You see me almost everyday.”

“Yes, although
I see you at work. I miss seeing you out of work. I miss your dinners.” He
grinned.

I smiled
a cheesy smile. “Ok, now I know you’re full of shit. I barely ever cooked, and
when I did it tasted like shit, so much so, that we had to order out.”

“Nah, I
just liked picking on you. It wasn’t that bad, well…except for those times that
you set off the fire alarm, and the superintendent had to come up, because we
couldn’t get it to turn off.” He grinned again.

I
scuffed in a fake disbelief, and put my hand on my chest. “Oh. My. God. Devon,
that happened like two times.” I said, in an exaggerated tone.

“Yeah…two
times five.” He said, snapping his wet towel at my butt.

“Holy
shit! That hurt.” I rubbed my butt. “My ass will now have a permanent imprint
on it, because of you. You should feel bad. You know I could sue, that was
almost like sexual harassment. I don’t think I feel safe here anymore.” He snapped
the towel again, and this time it was much harder and it made me jump.

“Whoa
there Kid!” He said. “Now I feel bad about that one.” He moved closer to me.
“Here let me rub it and make it better.” I moved his hand away and started
laughing.

“You just
want to feel up my ass, Devon!”

“Well
there’s a lot to feel up, Kid.” I pushed him in his chest, and moved to make us
a drink.

“Stop
messing around. What’s gotten into you today? It would be like incest, you and
I. You don’t look at me that way, and I sure as hell don’t look at you that
way.” I handed him his Johnny Walker, and took a sip of my vodka and club soda…
yes,
I had become one of those people,
and it actually tasted good, simple, and
smooth.

“Yeah,
you’re right. You’re not my type. I don’t really go for the gorgeous types, too
much high maintenance and shit. Plus, I’m not that great in bed.”

I
laughed so hard. “Yeah right…I’ve heard the noises, and oh my God Devon’s that
came out of your room. Remember, we used to live together, I think you did just
fine.”

“Well, I
never heard any noises coming out of your room, Kid? What’s up with that?” I
bit my lip, and glared at him.

“Hmmm…”
I replied.

“Are you
a virgin, Ysabelle?”

“No…let’s
talk about something else.” I said with a smile.

“I don’t
want to talk about something else. I don’t get it.  You’re gorgeous, probably
one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. You have these mesmerizing eyes
that are almost entrancing, a killer figure, and Rapunzel like hair that smells
like candy. Then you never have a guy around, and I see how many offers have
been on the table, Kid, so I know it’s out there. Don’t you want to come home
to someone?” I could see in his eyes that he was fishing for some information.

“I could
say the same to you, Devon.” I smiled, and so did he. “Listen…I’m not trying to
sound like a bitch, but it’s none of your business. Let’s keep our friendship
the way it is, okay? Nice and simple, I like it like that.” I chugged my drink,
and started to clean out my glass. He came up behind me. I could feel his body
heat on my back as he played with my hair.

“I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. You’re right it’s none of my business, I
care about you, and I can’t help worrying. You always seem to have it so put
together, and I can’t help it and wonder if you’re even happy, because you
deserve to be, Kid. You know that right? You deserve to do whatever will make
you happy.”

Thanks,
thanks a lot Devon. That was just what I needed. He, too, sensed that there was
something missing. It didn’t make sense. What the hell was it? Why did I feel
like I needed more?

He put
his hands on my shoulders, and turned me around. I looked up at him thinking that
I would see lust and desire, I didn’t. I saw sympathy. He leaned over. I
thought for sure he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes wanting to see if I would
feel anything and the second I felt his lips on my forehead, I knew he would
always be there for me. He kissed my forehead, and walked away. I was glad that
Devon didn’t want me like that. I needed one person in my life that wanted me,
for me.

We went
back to our normal routine, and nothing ever even remotely close to that
happened again. Life resumed to normal, I worked, I partied, and I lived life,
day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Was I happy? I don’t know…I think
the best word for it was that I was comfortable. In the back of my mind, I felt
like I needed something more, I just didn’t know what that was yet. Little did
I know, that I would find out soon enough.

The
girls were my life, and I was theirs. Summer was about over and I was fifteen about
to enter my first year of high school. The girls were thirteen, and were going
into the seventh grade. We were all disappointed by the fact, that we would no
longer be going to the same school. We sat in the grass at the waterhole,
knowing that this would be one of the last few times we would hang out there.
We were getting older and this place would always hold our childhood memories.  

“Come on
girls, you know nothing’s going to change.” I didn’t know if I was trying to
convince them, or myself. They both looked so sad.

“You say
that now, Sebby. You’re  going to be hanging out with those older kids, and
you’re going to forget all
about us.” Julia pouted. Olivia didn’t look up. She barely looked at me the
past few days.

“Now,
you know that’s not true. How can I forget about you guys? I love you too much!
Nothing is going to change that.”

As a
daily ritual I practiced pitching, I had become quite the athlete. My dad’s
friend was the baseball coach of the high school that I would be attending. He
had been scouting me since the day my doctor said I’d grow to be 6’4” I was
already 5’10” and I’d been conditioning myself to be the starting pitcher. It
was hard, a lot of devotion to the sport, and sometimes repetitive. Thank God,
I had my girls. They came to each and every one of my games. They even made
shirts with my name on the front, and my jersey number  on the back. I laughed,
when they turned around, showing me the glittering number 8.

“Look,
you guys will still come to all my games, and maybe some practices. I’ll come
over everyday after practice, and tell you all about my day. I’ll even help you
with your homework.” I said, trying to sound optimistic.

“Okay…”
Olivia sadly spoke, with her eyes towards the ground.

“Don’t
sound like that Oli, I promise.” They still didn’t seem convinced.

“Okay,
enough of this moping around. We only have a few more days until school starts,
and we are going to make the best of it.” I stood up. “I don’t care…what’s it
going to take to hear you guys laugh, and to see you both smile, huh?” I still
got no reaction. They were going to be happy, if it killed me. I grabbed them
both by their hands, pulled them up, and threw both of them on my shoulders.

“What are
you doing?” They screamed, simultaneously. I started running towards the water.
Once they figured it out, they started squirming, trying to escape my hold on
them.

“NO!”
They screamed. “We don’t have any clothes to change into, and my cellphone is
in my pocket.” Julia yelled.

“Liar,
your cell phone is on the ground! We are going in.” I threw them both in before
I dove in myself. We all came up laughing.

“Jerk
face! Now we’re all wet!” Olivia said, splashing water in my face.

“Yeah,
Sebby!” Julia said, splashing more water in my face.

“Alright…you
guys asked for it!” I grabbed both of them by their heads, and dunked them
under water.

“You
guys ready to play nice, now?”

Oli was
the first one to beg for mercy and surrender. Julia quickly followed. We splashed
around in the water some more and then laid out on the grass, letting the sun
dry us off. We stayed there and watched the sun start to set. We had done this
a lot throughout the years. Just laying around in comfortable silence, we
didn’t have to talk to enjoy each other’s company. I looked over at Julia who
was lying down with Olivia’s head on her stomach. Julia was curling her finger
around Olivia’s hair.

I
couldn’t help to notice how different they looked; Julia with her light skin,
Olivia with dark, Julia with blonde hair, and Olivia with brown. Julia’s face
features were small and delicate, and Olivia’s were prominent and noticeable.
They were both tiny and I knew that they would start growing into their own
soon.

 My mind
raced to the thought of them having boyfriends. I hated it. I didn’t want to
share them, they were mine. My eyes stayed on Olivia. I thought back to the
kisses and the affection we had been sharing these last few months. I didn’t
know what the future would hold, and that scared me. I didn’t want things to
change, and I knew that they would.

I saw
Julia looking at me from the corner of my eye, I looked at her and she gave me
a detached smile. I was worried for a second that the smile had been about me
gazing at Olivia. Phew…It wasn’t. I couldn’t explain that one to myself, let
alone her.

“You
promise things won’t change?” She asked.      

“Of
course.” I responded, a part of me sensed that she wasn’t just talking about
going to different schools.

<>*<>
S
<>*<>

A
few months went by and it was finally Olivia’s birthday.

“You’re
a teenager, Oli! You’re no longer considered a kid anymore,” I teased, bumping
her arm with mine, as we sat on the side of the pool at her thirteenth birthday
party. My eyes dropped to her forming breasts in her new hot pink bikini.

I
caught Olivia smiling at me and she leaned back, resting her body on her
elbows. She saw where my eyes went. She was taunting me. Even at my age, I knew
that. She was flaunting her body for me, waiting for me to react to her. I had
to jump in the pool. My dick was becoming extremely sensitive, and there were
times that I had no control over it, like this.

My
dad was right on the money when he said things were going to change; and not
just physically, emotionally and mentally.

One
afternoon sticks in my mind the most, I opened the front door to Julia curled
into a ball on her sofa, watching old re-runs of 90210.

“Hey,
what are you doing laying around here watching TV, on a Saturday? Where’s Oli?”

Julia
sat up, and looked me over like she was pissed at me.
What was her problem?
I
could tell by the sour look that she wasn’t in the best mood.

“What?”
I finally asked.

“Where’s
Olivia, Sebastian?”

“Uh,
yeah?”

“You
knew she had a doctor’s appointment today. Why do you care where she is anyway?”

“Oh,
yeah. I forgot. I was just asking. What’s your problem?”

“Nothing,”
she assured me, turning back to her show.
Great, here we go again,
nothing…always meant something.
Why did she do that? I had known Julia all of
her life, she knows I could read her like a book.

“What’s
wrong, Babygirl?” I asked, running my finger up her bare foot, causing her to
jump and laugh at the same time.

“Do you
like her?” She muttered.

“Who?”

“Stop
being so oblivious. You know what I’m talking about.”

“I do?”

“Oli,
Sebastian. Do you like her? GOD.”

“I love
Oli. You know that.”

“That’s
not what I mean, and you know it. I see you look at her sometimes, and I see
the way she looks at you. I asked her about it last night, and she blew me
off.”

“What
did she say?”

“I just
told you! She blew me off. She wouldn’t answer, and kept changing the subject.
I’m not really talking to her right now. Since she won’t give me a straight
answer, I’m asking you. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you Sebby?” She inquired.

“It’s
not like that, Babygirl. I don’t know what’s going on. That’s the truth.”

“You
didn’t answer my question. Do you like her?” I shrugged my shoulders in
response, while looking at my feet.

“Do you
like her more than me? Do you, Sebby? Please, tell me the truth.”

I could
hear her voice starting to break, like she was about to start crying. I knew if
I looked at her eyes I would see that they were watery, in that moment I felt
as though I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t hurt my Babygirl like that, she
was too important to me. I needed to put my feelings aside for Olivia, because
in my heart I subconsciously knew that if I didn’t, I would lose Julia and I
couldn’t bear the thought of that.

So I
lied.

“No
Babygirl, I don’t like her. I love her, just not in that way.” I choked out. I
heard her sigh in relief, and felt her jump on me with her arms and legs
wrapped around me. She held onto to me so tight, and I embraced her just the
same way.

“I love
you, Sebby.” She whispered in my ear.

“I love
you, too.” I repeated. More than she would ever realize.

<>*<>
Y
<>*<>

This is
where the story gets interesting. This is the day, that changed my life, the
day I met Madam. She came into the bar, and reserved a VIP room in the back of
the bar. She was absolutely, stunningly beautiful, she was an older woman, late
forties with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She had a pixie haircut that
made her look more polished and refined, her high cheekbones and narrow jaw
added her to intimating allure.

She came
in with an entourage of women who were just as, if not, more beautiful than she
was. What surprised me the most about this party was that there weren’t any
men, just women. Living in Miami, you come across your fair share of beautiful
people, it isn’t voted number one for the most beautiful people of the world,
for nothing. This crowd was different. I could just feel it in my bones. As the
night progressed with it’s usually entities, I took my break and went to the
restroom. Upon entering the restroom I noticed the beautiful older woman doing
a line of cocaine on the restroom sink.

“Shit,
I’m sorry- the door wasn’t locked.”

I turned
to leave, she grabbed me by the arm and turned me around, wanting the door to shut
behind me. She stared intently in my eyes and placed her left arm up beside my
head, and then proceeded to do the same with her other arm after locking the
door. She had me caged in, she turned her face to the nook of my neck and
inhaled. In all the time working here this had never happened to me, another
one of my fucked up firsts, I didn’t know what to feel or what to think. This
beautiful woman had corned me in the restroom of my place of employment, I tried
to remain calm.

“You
smell almost edible. If I lick you, will you melt in my mouth?” She asked, with
a sultry tone.

I didn’t
say one word. I didn’t know what the fuck to say.
Was this really happening?
I stood deathly still while she smelled the side of my neck. I think I may
have halted my breathing, when she started to lay light soft kisses from my
neck to my collarbone. Very subtly and slowly, she took out her tongue and
glided it down to the cleavage of my breasts. At this point, I was slightly
hyperventilating. I was sure that it caused my chest to noticeably weave up and
down. While still lightly kissing and licking my cleavage, she took her left
hand and started to twirl my hair that hung on the side of my face. She twirled
it around and around in her finger several times, until she finally placed it
behind my ear.

Using
her first two fingers on that same hand, she glided them down from the side of
my face to my collarbone. With those fingers, she proceeded to lightly start
tracing the cleavage at the top of my shirt; with both hands she felt the sides
of both my breasts, pushing them up as she began to kiss them firmer. I almost
felt like she was motor boating me. I had to stifle a laugh. I didn’t know if
it was from nerves or maybe even arousal. This was new and foreign to me. I
think she noticed the change in my demeanor too. She stopped, and looked straight
into my eyes.

“Are you
nervous, Beautiful Girl? Hmmm…? I think maybe you are also slightly aroused.”  
It
was almost like she was reading my mind.

“Do you
want to tell me your name?”

I tried
to catch my breathing, “Ysabelle,” I managed to say, in some other voice.

She took
her face out of my cleavage, and looked me right in the eyes, “Beautiful name
for a very beautiful girl. Ysabelle, how old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”
I replied.

The woman
smirked and looked me up and down from head to toe.

“Ysabelle,
do I look like a stupid woman to you? Now, I don’t want to start this
relationship based on lies. So, let’s try this again, how old are you?”

I was
caught off guard. Nobody had ever doubted how old I said I was. At least, they
never acknowledged it anyways.

“Eighteen.”

The
older woman smiled and her eyes lit up, she moved closer and lightly started
kissing on my lips, almost goading me to see my reaction.

“What
are you doing?” I asked, with that same stupid nervy voice.

“Whatever,
I want, Ysabelle. Would you like to be able to do, whatever you want? Would you
like to know how it feels to be in control, of anything and everything around
you? Because, I can guarantee you that. I can make that happen for you.” She
opened her mouth and used her tongue to trace my lips, again enticing me more,
trying to read my reaction to her power over me. That’s what it was. She had
some sort of power over me.