Vision of Love (9 page)

I wake up with Emma taking up the entire bed. How can someone so small take up so much room? I get out of bed and head out to the kitchen. Karly’s sitting at the table with a cup in her hands. Her sad eyes are staring out the window and I wonder what’s wrong.

“Morning,” I say, prepping my own cup of coffee.

“Hi,” she softly responds not taking her eyes off her cup.

I have to know what’s going on. I head to the table and sit down
next to her. “What’s going on?”

“
Oh nothing. I’m okay.” She gives me a smile, but I know she’s lying by the way she’s avoiding my eyes. I hate that she can’t trust me enough to tell me what’s on her mind. Why’s it difficult to be honest instead of beating around how you feel. Women are the most complex people on this Earth. When they tell you “oh nothing,” you know something’s wrong. Women have a second language they expect men to understand, well sorry not sorry we don’t speak “women” and a clear explanation is appreciated.

“Come on you can tell me.” I lay my arm around her shoulders and watch her.

“It’s just um ugh my ex-boyfriend is living here. He’s the assistant coach for the UNC Wilmington basketball team. We ran into each other yesterday and he’s been texting me wanting to get together.” Her eyes are looking everywhere but at me.

Her ex? Everything in me is up in flames. I want to punch this kid in the face and then hide his body in the swamp. “I’m sorry. Are you gonna get back with him?”

She looks at me with her sad eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I need to move forward with my life you know? What’s the point in going backwards? What Bradley and I have is over.”

“Good. No one deserves to get a second chance with you.” I brush the strand of hair away from her face. “No guy is worth your tears, Karly. You’re too beautiful to be dwelling over him.” What the fuck am I saying? Damn Alexis and her stupid books she’s been making me read is messing with my head. “Maybe you should fuck him and leave him,” I laugh trying to break the tension.

“What?” Damn, probably not the best thing to say. “I’m not that type of girl.” She pushes back her chair and looks as though she’s about to leave the room. Wow I’m a fucking dick. “I don’t mean it like that,” I quickly tell her.

“Is that how you see me?”

“Of course not.”
Shit how do I make this better
.

“You know I
wanted
to be with you but now ugh,” she turns around and stomps out of the kitchen to her room. The door slams shut leaving me standing alone wondering how the fuck I’m going to fix this.

Instinctively I run to her door and rush in. When I walk in the sight before my eyes sends daggers to my heart. She’s on her bed wrapped up in blankets as soft cries come from her tiny body. I sit down on her bed, rubbing her back and wishing I never said that. Her rigid body relaxes and I hear an uneven sigh slipping through her lips.

“You don’t have to be an asshole you know?” She mutters refusing to look at me.

“I’m not sure how to be the nice guy.” Karly sits up facing me. She dries her tears and attempts to smile.

“You do know how. You think you don’t know how so you block people out and keep to yourself. Try and open up to me.” She pauses stroking my hand. “Why’s it so hard to show me who you really are?”

“It just is. I’m not used to talking about my feelings and feeling vulnerable. I have a lot of shit on my plate and I don’t need to drag anyone down with me.”

Karly gets up from the bed and walks to me. She’s holding her cell phone and presses a button before wrapping her arms around my neck. The song we danced to the other night plays.

“Dance with me.” She rests her head against my chest and lets out a sigh. My body instantly relaxes and I feel her heart beating with mine. This girl doesn’t know the hold she has on me already.

* * * * *

I stare at the email from Larry.

Valentine’s Day Gala to help benefit the children’s cancer hospital.

When: Saturday February 12, 2011

Time: 6pm-Midnight

Location: The Terraces of Sir Tyler

RSVP: January 31, 2011

All proceeds will go to the hospital. We hope to see you there

Eyes so beautiful come to mind. This girl is breaking down my walls and putting me in the right direction. Sometimes I wonder if I should give in and make her mine. She wants me. I want her. Although playing it safe is what I’m used to. I don’t need to put my heart on the line again. Yet with her I’m willing to let her in all the way.

An alert from my computer pops up. It’s been like this all day. I’ve been in three meetings without a break until now. Just ten minutes of peace and quiet before my three-hour meeting.

*
* * * *

I get out of my car and head inside. Exhausted isn’t the word I’d use for how I’m feeling. It’s almost eleven thirty. All I want is a shower, dinner and bed. When I make it inside, Karly’s on the couch with her nose in her Kindle. Even in pajamas she looks great.

“Hey,” I say putting down my briefcase and taking off my shoes.

“Oh hey,” she replies going back to reading. It must be a good book or something.

“What are you reading?” I ask taking the Kindle out of her hands. The look on her face is priceless. “Wicked Ties?”

She grabs the Kindle out of my hands in a quick motion. The look of embarrassment and anger splays all over. “You’re so freaking rude!”

“So what’s the book about?”

“Nothing.”

“Sounds like something sexy. Do you have a naughty side Karly?”

“I…What?” She fumbles over her words and looks everywhere except at me. “I really like the author, Shayla Black, okay? God you’re so freaking nosy. Go away.”

“Oh baby I’d love to, but now I’m interested
how a virgin’s into the kinkiness of sex.” I run my hand along her face, feeling the softness and hearing her soft whimpers. “I’ll ask you one more time. Are you a naughty girl Karly? Do you touch yourself wishing it was someone else?” I whisper against her neck.

Being close to her
is driving me crazy. All I can think about are her lips touching mine again and how she’d feel while I’m inside her. Seeing her beautiful eyes burning into mine makes me weak. She looks so sweet and innocent yet so sexy.
What the hell is wrong with me?
We’ve known each other for a short period of time and all I can think about is how she’s making me feel and how badly I want her. Even though I want her, I can’t handle another heartbreak.

“Mmmm yes Nicholas. I think of you touching me, making me moan your name.”
Holy shit.
I’m about to take her no
w
until tomorrow morning. I’ll make sure she doesn’t forget my name and every time she moves she’ll think of me and remember our time together.

She takes my hand and kisses it, sucking my index finger. Her tongue swirls and I swear I’m about to fucking c
ome. “You’re such an ass,” she laughs pushing me away. “I’m going to bed! Have fun tonight,” she winks staring down at my hard fucking cock.

“You’re pure evil.”

“I know!” She laughs skipping to her room.

Great what the hell am I supposed to do with this thing now? I groan in frustration thinking about anything else except the damn girl I can’t get out of my head. I check the fridge for something to eat and see a plate with foil over it and a note on top.

Nicholas,

Saved you pasta with Italian sausage. Emma said this is your favorite dish. Hope you love it!

Karly

“Wow,” I mumble. This girl is amazing, feisty and a tease, but pretty amazing. I heat the food up in the microwave, grab a beer and settle on the couch watching the news.

My damn hard on
finally calmed the fuck down. It’s the first time in my life that I almost came in my pants with just a little teasing.

I pull out my phone and send her a text. I know she’s not sleeping yet.

Me: I know you aren’t sleeping yet

I wait for her response and get anxious. I can’t help but smile when I feel my phone vibrate.

Karly: Yeah I am ;)

Me: Liar. Thanks for being a tease…Is that your second job?

Karly: Well, you were being rude and you’re welcome ;) Relieve yourself yet?

Me: No, I’m waiting for you to help ;)

I relax on the couch and wait for her response. This is going to be good. She takes my shit and throws it right back at me. My kind of girl.

Karly: You can’t handle me

My eyes nearly pop out of my head.

Me: Oh yeah? Why don’t you come out here and show me

I press send again, pleased with my response. I laugh thinking about her facial expression and how flustered she must feel.

Karly: We’ll wake up Alexis and Emma…Plus you should stay away from me

Me: It’s the other way around...You should stay away from me...

She doesn’t text back. I’m not sure if the conversation is still on the same level anymore. I’m right when I tell her she needs to stay away from me, even though I don’t want her to, it’s better this way for the both of us.

I hear the door open and see Karly coming down the hallway in her shorts and a zip up hoodie. Her hood’s up and she’s yawning. She settles on the cushion next to me eyeing the empty plate of food.

“Was it good?” I nod. “What do you mean I should stay away from you?”

I run my hand through my hair. “I have a lot going on right now,” I mutter, not being able to face her.

“Oh I see.” I hear the hurt in her voice.

I knew I shouldn’t have kissed her the other night but it was hard not to.
She reaches a part of me that I’ve kept away for so long. She does something to me and as badly as I want her, I can’t take away her innocence. I’m not meant to be with anyone. I don’t want to fall in love again. I refuse to trust another woman, but she touches the part of me that I’ve kept hidden for a long time. How can I let her in when I don’t know how?

“
This shouldn’t have happened; kissing you and taking you out. We need to be friends. That’s all I can handle right now and I hope you can understand that.” It breaks my heart saying these words to her.

I can see the hurt she’s feeling all over her face.
She straightens her back and gets up from the couch. “Okay friends. That’s fine. I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow.” Before I say anything else, she’s gone.

*
* * * *

The rest of the week goes by and I’ve been staying at work late, avoiding Karly. We haven’t talked much, just through text about Emma. I send in my RSVP response with a plus one. I’ll take Emma with me and it’ll be fine. Staying away is the best thing I can do right now.

It’s nearly midnight by the time I get back to the apartment. As soon as I walk in there’s someone walking down the hall with Karly.
What. The. Fuck.

“Hey Nicholas. This is Bradley.” I extend my hand to him.
Fuck Bradley?
“He’s an old friend from Boston.”

“Nice to meet you,” he smirks, taking my hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You too.” I keep my eyes on him trying to figure out what the fuck he’s doing here at midnight. Doesn’t she know she needs to get up early with Emma? “Karly don’t you have a long day tomorrow with Emma? You should probably get to sleep. Wouldn’t want you staying awake all night when you have to take care of my daughter tomorrow.” I turn away and feel the ice in her eyes.

“I’ll text you later, alright?” I stalk to the kitchen and watch their interaction. He kisses her on the cheek and leaves. My fists are at my side as I take out a beer from the fridge and chug it down.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” She loudly whispers. “Seriously? You’re an asshole.”

I quickly turn to face her. “It’s almost midnight and you have your
ex boyfriend
here while Emma’s sleeping. What if she had woken up from a nightmare and needed you?” I know I’m being harsh and I know Karly would drop everything to take care of Emma, but my anger takes a hold of me. I unleash my fury on her and don’t hold anything back. “So you go from kissing me. Wanting me. To
him
?”

She slaps me across the face with tears in her eyes. “
You
have
no
right to say this to me!”

“I’m gonna let that slap go, but if you hit me again you
will
regret it.”

Her face is inches from mine. I see everything she’s feeling-anger, sadness, heartbreak. “What? You gonna hit me?”

I control my tone, “No,” I respond through my clenched teeth. “I’d never hit a woman, especially you.”

“Then what the hell are you talking about?” She’s testing me and I’m going to lose it on her.

“Slap me again and find out,” I mutter.

“Go to hell,” she hisses, walking away from me.

I know I should go after her, but I’m too pissed off. How the hell can this woman make me happy and pissed in a matter of seconds?