Vision of Love (8 page)

I turn on the water and stand under the cascading
shower. Before I know it tears are running down from my eyes. Why did Bradley have to come back into my life? What am I going to do? It’s not fair he’s back! It shouldn’t be hard seeing him around, but it is. Memories of our past won’t stop coming back to me. My heart still hurts from the betrayal and lies. Will history repeat itself? I’ve always been a believer that everything happens for a reason so what reason would make sense for Bradley moving to Wilmington?

On top of worrying about Bradley I’m confused about what’s go
ing on between Nicholas and me. You don’t go around kissing your friends without an explanation! His kisses make the butterflies in my stomach go wild. I love the feel of his lips against mine and that’s the problem. My feelings for Nicholas are getting stronger and I’m not sure how much longer I can control myself.

Turning off the water in the shower I let out a sigh and shake away thoughts of Bradley and Nicholas. I feel weak and sluggish getting out of the shower. My eyes are puffy and red. I’m glad no one’s home yet. I head back to my room, throw on my yoga pant and an oversized UNC shirt. I grab my laptop and head to the living room, trying to get my mind off the fact Bradley’s back and how I have no idea what’s going on between Nicholas and I.

When I p
ass Emma’s room again I look inside and see that she’s
still
sleeping. It’s been about four hours. Is that normal?

Me: Hey! Sorry to bother you at work, but Emma’s still sleeping? She’s been out since 1

Nicholas doesn’t text back and I’m not sure what to do. I settle on the couch in the living room and pull up a few school districts seeing if there are any jobs available. Each click brings me to a new page with the same information
“Currently we are not hiring, but please submit your application.”
At this point I’ll never be a teacher. All of my hard work is going down the drain. Why’s it so hard finding a job?

I click out of the web pages and get some cleaning done in the apartment to get my mind off the reality of life. While doing the dishes my phone vibrates on the counter.

Nicholas: Can you wake her up? She normally sleeps for about 3-4 hours. Thanks. How was she today?

Me: Good. We went to the park and then went to the spa. Her nails are so cute! Hope it’s okay

Nicholas: That’s fine as long as you two had fun. I should be home by 6 tonight

Me: Sounds good!

Nicholas: Let’s get dinner tonight. You and me.

I smile at the text. He wants to get dinner with me tonight. Another night with Nicholas.

Me: Ok =)

I get up and head in to wake up the Princess. Hope she’s not grumpy!

* * * * *

Alexis meets me at the boutique for an emergency shopping date. I’m frantic. I sweep through the store trying to find the perfect dress. Why the hell is this so hard?

Nicholas: I can’t wait to see you tonight

Swoon! I’m not sure what to say to him. Do I say ‘me too’ or ‘same here.’ “Alexis!”

“Girl, you okay?” I hand her my phone and sift through the dresses again. “Awww my brother is totally loving you!”

“Eeeeeek! Shut up! He’s not.” I stop what I’m doing and turn around. “I mean I’m not that pretty and my scars. He kept touching my face and I let him. Neil was never able to touch my scars and I’ve known him for over two years!”

Why does Nicholas want to see me again? Yeah we live together, but I wonder if I’m going to live with him when the house is done. Shit there’s so many questions I have in my head. Do I ask him? Do I wait? Crap, this wasn’t hard when Neil and I were together.

“Honey stop okay? Nicholas likes you for
you.
Don’t let your scars hold you back. You’re so beautiful inside and out. You have the biggest heart I know, and there’s this fire in you that I’ve seen grow since we met. I’m not gonna keep telling you this, so chin up!”

I sigh, “Fine!” I get up and look through the dresses again. “Oh he kissed me last night and we danced.”

“SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR.”

“Yeah! I know!” Alexis fist pumps the air and jumps up and down. “What the hell is your deal?”

“Nicky
never
dances! NEVER!”

For some reason this hits me and brings that stupid, cheesy smile on my face. He danced with me.

* * * * *

Three hours later I’m putting the finishing touches on my hair and pulling out my lip-gloss. I remember Nicholas’ kisses from last night and this morning. The kissed that sent chills all the way down my body. How can a simple kiss turn me on? Shit I’m in so much trouble tonight. I take one last look in the mirror and head out to meet him.

Alexis and Larry are keeping Emma while we go out. It’ll be nice to spend time with him again. I fan myself and calm my beating heart. I hate being so nervous! “It’s just a second date. Be cool. Don’t be dumb,” I say to myself. A part of me wants to run away and hide in my room, but the other part is excited. What if this works out and we can be happy together? When I step into the living room my breath catches in my throat. He’s wearing black pants with a dark blue button down shirt.
Holy crap on a stick!
You can see his muscles and oh my word is he ripped. Dirty thoughts play in my head.

“Hi,” Nicholas said, coming towards me brushing his lips on my cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” I shake my head. It’s hard for me to believe him. I hate not having the confidence I should have. Nicholas takes my hand and puts it on his heart. “Do you feel that?” I nod. “This is what you do to me. Each time I look at you I get this feeling, you know?”

“Yeah I do,” I breathlessly respond. “Come on let’s go.” Our fingers entwine with one another and my heart jumps up and down smiling.

Daniel opens the door for us, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure Miss.”

I slide in against the smooth leather and look around trying to calm my breathing. When he slides next to me our hands touch again. He draws lazy circles on my hand pulling me closer to him.
Oh Lord!
I listen to him talk about work and can’t help but feel proud of him. There’s so much enthusiasm and pride in his voice.

“I’m happy for you. It’s great that you got this offer. Wow, senior executive accountant. Mr. Hotshot.”

“You have no idea,” he takes my hand rubbing small circles on me. “I’m the type of man who gets what he wants. When I have my eye on something I go for it until it’s mine.” I’m not sure what to say, but his words are turning me on. I wonder if he fights for everything he wants. I wonder if he’d fight for me.

Before I know it he grasps my face with both hands and brushes his lips against mine. Oh wow. I tilt my head to the side and wrap my arms around his neck. If he’s asking then I’m letting him know I want this. I want him to kiss me. He rests his lips against mine for a few seconds before invading my mouth with his sweet tongue. Oh God this man can kiss. I let out a soft moan as our tongues dance an erotic dance. The ache between my thighs increases and I want more. So much more.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you standing in front of me,” he laughs.

“Me too.” I rest my forehead against his, breathing him in and cherishing this moment between us. Everything inside me is screaming for him to kiss me again. My heart races for him and I’m aching for more of his touch.

“You’re amazing,” he kisses me again and pulls me close to his body. My head rests on his shoulder as our fingers touch and rest on his thigh.

I know this is too soon, but I’m really falling for him. We’ve been spending time together and it’s nice. Wait, better than nice, it’s wonderful. He makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world; like he only sees me. I’m not sure what I did in my life to deserve Nicholas, but I know I don’t want him to go anywhere.

“You fit perfectly in my arms.” He kisses the side of my head and I find myself relaxed. A warm and indescribable feeling hits my body. I want him to let me in and know his secrets and desires. I know I shouldn’t pressure him for more than what he’s ready to give me. Hopefully being patient will win.

“Welcome to
Martino’s
,” the maître d’ says thumbing through a book. “Name please?”

“Nicholas Hayes.” He keeps me close to his side and places his hand on the small part of my back. I love his touch. I don’t want him to stop.

“Ahhh yes. Please follow me, Mr. and Mrs. Hayes.”

I’m ready to correct him, but Nicholas looks at me with a wink. Oh, he doesn’t care that they made that mistake?

The maître d’ sits us in a booth in the corner of the restaurant. It’s beautiful inside with the hanging chandeliers and soft cello playing in the background. Each table has a beige tablecloth with tea light candles and fresh flowers. The atmosphere is romantic, but screams expensive.

“Stop worrying,” he whispers. When I open the menu my eyes pop out. I haven’t seen these kinds of prices in so long. Yes I’m comfortable, but I’ve invested wisely and don’t go on any outrageous shopping sprees. “You’re worrying again.”

“Am not.”

“Sweetheart stop worrying. Let’s enjoy this evening together.” He leans over and kisses my cheek.

“Ok,” I smile.

Our waiter comes over to take our drink order. “Sweetheart what would you like?”

I look at the drink menu again trying to make up my mind. “A
Grey Goose
dirty martini with extra olives please.”

“Bulleit neat.” Nicholas orders. His eyes stay on mine and I can’t help but feel the ache between my thighs. I try and get my mind off him. It’s impossible. Nicholas invades my mind every second of every day whether I want him to or not.

“Right away, Sir. Miss.”

I study Nicholas and take in his beautiful features. He seems so mature in so many ways, but also young and carefree.

“You keep looking at me? I know I’m a sexy man,” he wink. “I can’t tell you enough how beautiful you are this evening. I’m truly glad to have you with me tonight. I enjoy spending time with you. And if I can be brutally honest, I think about you a lot.”

With those words I melt. Holy shit! Everything feels right when we’re together. I don’t care that we just met.

He pops some fruit in his mouth and I can’t help but stare. He pops another piece of fruit in his mouth and suddenly I’m incredibly turned on.
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Nicholas laughs and looks at me.
Suddenly I’m a little embarrassed, but at the same time I feel like getting out of this place, go back to the apartment and give Nicholas what I think he wants. He doesn’t say anything and I sit there feeling nervous. Nicholas tilts his head to the right and looks at me. “What are you looking at?”
Ah shit.

His eyes grow wide and a sexy ass smirk comes on his face. He moves closer to me and I can smell the fruit on his breath and musky cologne on his skin. “Am I making you nervous Karly?” He whispers, drinking m
e in and studying my reaction.

“Absolutely not Mr. Hayes.” I set the menu down and look back at him. “So what should I expect from my boss?”

His body relaxes, although the smirk on his face remains on his face. “I’m a very hard man to work for. I like things my way and expect the best for Emma. Do you think you can handle me, Karly?” The way my name leaves his lips make me crumble. His suggestive tone gives me a little chill.

Oh dear Lord. Please! Please I beg you just kill me now.

I nervously laugh. “I can handle you.” I respond back straightening my body and leaning in closer to him. “And for the record you aren’t making me nervous,” I wink moving away from him. My eyes go back on his mouth and face.
Oh my God I’m eye fucking him and he’s right in front of me.

“You keep shifting in your seat and staring at my mouth. Do you like what you see? Am I making you nervous being this close to you?” He moves closer to me and his face is close to mine.

I flash Nicholas a smirk, “Trust me, you
aren’t
making me nervous.”
It’s not like he’s gonna devour me.

"Don't underestimate me sweetheart. I'm sure I can make you nervous," he pauses bringing his lips closer to my ear. "I know I turn you on just by the sound of my voice." The ache between my thighs is back with a vengeance as he touches my hand and pulls me closer.
"I'm a very protective man and I'm used to getting what I want," he whispers as his hot breath travels down my neck. "And I want you, Karly."

I watch Karly get in her car and drive away. The pain in my heart never left. Even after all these years she’s still the one I want. I guess it’s true what they say; you never forget your first love. She’s always on my mind and in my heart. As girly as it sounds she’s the one that got away. I let her go and each day I fucking regret it.

I still remembered the night my mom told me to break up with the love of my life.

“Bradley you are to break up with that that...” her voice faded.

“Karly! The love of my life. The girl that has my heart! Mom this is fucking bullshit!”

“Watch your language young man. Scott,” she sighed walking towards my dad. “Please talk some sense into your son!”

My dad looked at me. He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“Scott! Ugh, this is why Bradley is this way. You’re so weak Scott and you call yourself a man!” She hissed at him. “Bradley this is for your future. She has nothing. She IS nothing. She’ll just take your money and ruin you.” She came and gave me a hug. I couldn’t give her one back. “If you don’t break up with that trash. You will be disowned. I’ll take away your trust fund and you’ll have nothing. Do I make myself clear?” She let me go and kissed my cheek. “You’ll make the right decision.”

The next day I went to the hospital to see my girl. My sweet and beautiful girlfriend. We had plans to take on the world after high school. I was going to propose to her and make her mine. Forever. But now I’m going to have to say goodbye to the only girl that held my heart and knew me inside and out. I walked into her room and her eyes found mine.

“Bradley? What’s wrong?”

Her soft and sweet voice played in my head. How was I supposed to say bye to her. I slowly walked over to her and sat down on the chair beside her. The tears were threatening my eyes but I had to do this. “Baby, you know I love you.” She took my hand. Fuck I can’t do this. “I’m so sorry, Karly. We can’t be together anymore. Maybe someday down the road we can be friends, but I can’t be your boyfriend.” I paused and looked at her. “Maybe one day I’ll find my way back to you.”

She doesn’t say anything. Instead she lets go of my hand and told me to leave. It broke my heart hearing her
shattered voice. I broke her. I broke everything. How was I going to move on?

I slam my fist against the steering wheel of my car. “Fuck!” I yell. She’s beautiful. How can I still hold on to her after all these years? I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long and that’s not the welcoming I was expecting. I know she isn’t going to come willingly.

Karly’s back in my life and now all I have to do is prove that I can make her happy. I’m not sure if she’s dating anyone and I hope I’m still in her heart. It’s selfish to want these things, but I don’t want to go another day without her.

When I got home, I sent a text to her.

Me: I’d love to see you again.

She doesn’t reply right away. I put away my phone and get some paperwork done.

* * * * *

Hours pass and there’s still no response from her. Maybe the damage is too deep. I let out a stressed sigh and turn off my laptop.

“Bradley!” My dad calls for me.

“Coming.” I go down the stairs and find him in the kitchen putting together our dinner. “What’s up?”

“Dinner, son.” It’s our daily routine. I like spending time with him. He’s getting older and his health isn’t too good. The doctor’s have him on medication for his heart. It kills me knowing that he’s not feeling well. I hate thinking about what could happen.

“Looks good!” We both sit down at the kitchen table. He tells me about his day and the doctors are hopeful that they can get him healthy again without surgery. “You’ll never guess who I saw today.”

“Who?” He asks between bites of his dinner.

“Karly Erikson.”

He drops his fork and his jaw opens wide. “Get out.”

“Nope. She’s living here and is a nanny. Dad, she looks great. It’s like fates giving me a second chance, you know?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, son. I wish things could’ve been different with your mother.” He says looking down and playing with his chicken. “I only hope it’s not too late for you two.”

“Me too, Dad.”

I head back to my room after dinner with my dad. I check my phone and still nothing from her. What the hell do I have to do to get her attention?

Me: Hey do you wanna get lunch sometime soon?

Okay I think I’m border line stalking her. Shit. I can’t get her out of my head though. Those eyes will always stay with me.
My Karly.