Vision of Love (5 page)

“How sexy I am and I know you want me.”

“Wh-what? No no. I don’t want you.” Karly moves her eyes away from me and takes a deep breath clapping her hands together. “Well okay. Looks like whatever Emma lost isn’t here so I’ll just ah you know.”

“Alright, but whenever you wanna play just holler.” She blushes again before leaving the room. Damn I’m getting to her. When I’m around her she’s making me feel again. I like being around her and I’m looking forward to dinner.

I have so much to lose and thinking about being with someone again scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to bring another woman into Emma’s life and have her walk out. Emma and I deserve better. Closing my eyes, thinking about Karly’s smile and laugh. It’s intoxicating.

I put on khaki shorts and a blue polo trying to focus on anything besides the beautiful girl who’s taking over my mind and dreams. Shaking the thoughts I grab my wallet and head to the living room with everyone else.

“Well don’t you look spiffy and cute,” Alexis says getting up, heading to the kitchen.

“You’re funny.” She tosses me a beer. I head to the loveseat to sit when Emma whispers in Larry’s ear.

“I think so too cutie,” he answers, smiling and laughing.

“Secrets don’t make friends, Emma.” Twisting off the bottle cap I wait for her to say something. Anything. She just sits there between Larry and Alexis looking at me with her, “I’m up to trouble” look. “Princess we’ve only been back for a few days and you’re causing trouble?”

“Nooooooo of course not,” she waves me off and climbs on Alexis’ lap. “I’m an angel Daddy,” she smirks.
Yep she’s definitely my daughter.

Larry stretches his arm behind Alexis and leans back in the chair. I watch his movements and it all hits me. Larry’s crushing on Alexis. He’s like this around women, especially my sister. They’re usually at each other’s throats and he teases her without any remorse. I always knew something was going on between the two, but I never asked. Throughout the years he’s been around I’ve never seen Alexis act like this toward him. Great the playboy best friend with my baby sister. This is exactly what I want right now.

Bumping into Nicholas in the hall with my towel on is
exactly
what I wanted to do. Nicholas has me going every which way. He’s so annoying and rude and doesn’t respect personal boundaries. I’m still mad at him about the sex question. Sex is a personal thing and it should only happen between two people who love each other. Call me old fashion or immature, whatever, but I want my first time to be with someone who makes me feel like I matter. I want to matter in someone’s eyes. A woman should know what it’s like to be treasured and know that the one she’s with will always protect her and love her. I had that with Bradley and Neil and I want that feeling again.

A soft knock is on my door. “Come in,” I shout from my closet. Oh shit I hope it’s not Nicholas.
I hear the door open and close.
Yep really hope it’s not Nicholas.

I turn my head and see Alexis sitting on the bed. “
Hey!”

She crosses her arms and her legs, sending me daggers with her eyes.
“Do you think I’m dumb?”

“Huh?” I grab a dress from the closet and make my way over to Alexis. “What are you talking about?”
Asking dumbly. I know exactly what she’s asking. Damn facial expressions. I can’t hide anything!

“You like my brother.”

“Alexis wh-what are you um talking about,” I stutter.
Great.

“Uh huh.
You’ve got the hots and want sexy time with my brother,” she smiles.

“You’re crazy. We just met. He annoys me.”

I quickly get dress in a simple baby pink spring dress with a white cardigan and simple gladiator flats that tie around my ankle. My outfit is simple yet cute and elegant. Showing a little bit of cleavage I twirl around in front of the mirror and love how I look. Sitting down in front of my vanity, I put make up on and touch the scars on my face.

“What’s your point?”
I shrug, focusing on my eye shadow. “Well Emma loves you so I think it’s gonna be a win win.”

“You’re crazy with a capital C Alexis. There’s nothing going on between me and your brother.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” she winks laughing, putting her hands together. “Hurry up we gotta go soon.”

“Fine. Leave my room so I can finish getting ready.”

“You mean getting beautiful for my brother.”

I point at the door and she leaves. I ignore everything she just said. She’s crazy.
I run my blush brush over my face and notice my scars again.

The jagged glass was pressed against my face and I wanted to scream. “Daddy,” I cried, “Please stop. Please!”

When he opened his mouth, the stench of alcohol reeked. “You fucking bitch. You always ruin everything. No one will ever fucking love you.” He laughed hysterically and pressed the glass harder on my face.

I knew it was the drugs and alcohol talking and this wasn’t my dad. He was in there somewhere and he wouldn’t do this to me if he weren’t high or drunk. I closed my eyes and remembered the good times with him. Us at the beach, my dad teaching me how to drive and all the fun we used to have. But the drugs and alcohol took over his life and he wasn’t my dad anymore. He was a monster.

“I’m sorry! So, so sorry.” But nothing I said worked. He pulled down the glass and cut me. I felt the blood rush from my face. I was screaming and crying. I looked over to the couch where my mom usually laid but she wasn’t there.

BOOM!

I shake my head and I’m back in the present. Tears rush from my eyes. The memories of my past haunt me. Even with the smile I put on my face, there’s always
the monster’s
voice in the back of my head.
The monster
telling me that no one will ever love me and I’m a bitch. I’m a waste of life. I fight the demons that lurk in the dark corners of my mind and sometimes I can go a few days without hearing
the monster’s
voice, but each time I feel happy
he
comes back. I keep repeating to myself that I survived and he can’t ever hurt me again.

“You survived, Karly. You’re safe now,” I tell myself.
It’s difficult always recalling my past. Even though it’s been almost four years since everything happened with my dad. The constant recollection of that night floods my mind.

After finishing up in my room I walk out to the living area and find everyone sitting on the couch laughing and talking.

“Ohhh hey pretty thing,” Alexis says jumping up from the couch. “Come here and meet Larry.” She grabs my hand and walks me towards the couch where Larry’s sitting. “Larry Gibson this is Karly Erikson.”

“Hi,” I extend my hand out and he gets up.

“Nice to meet you Karly,” he smiles taking my hand. I’m not really sure what’s going on, but this is really weird. “Welcome to Wilmington. You’ll love it here.”

“I hope so,” I laugh in response. Taking a seat next to him I notice Nicholas staring at us with frustration and annoyance.
What’s his problem
? I wonder. His hazelnut brown eyes bore into me making my body shudder and burn with desire.

“So since you’re new here you probably haven’t been out too much. Why don’t I take you out for lunch and show you around?”

“Larry don’t go through the trouble.” Nicholas states his voice on the verge of yelling.

“Na I’d love to show her around. I finally have some free time on my lunch so tomorrow’s perfect,” Larry states leaning back into the couch. “Yeah man your first day tomorrow is gonna be busy. Peterson is great just don’t get on his bad side.”

“Oh you guys are gonna work together?” Alexis asks holding Emma on her lap. Nicholas nods. “That’s great. Two best friends working together. It’s like a little bromance.” Everyone laughs, except Nicholas. He holds his bottle of beer continuing to stare at me. I move uncomfortably in my seat. The way his eyes are staring at me it’s as if he’s about to eat me alive. I look at him again and our eyes briefly meet. There’s no smile or any amusement in his eyes like before. Is he that disgusted with me? As soon as our eyes meet he turns and talks to Larry about work. I’m so confused. One minute we’re laughing, getting to know each other and the next he’s giving me the cold shoulder. I know I shouldn’t care but I do. I care a lot.

“I’ll take you around Karly,” Nicholas states interrupting my thoughts before drinking his beer. His lips curve into a smirk with a hint of trouble.
What’s he thinking?

“When will you have time?” Larry asks teasing him.
Really what the hell is going on?

“I’ll make time. Karly I’ll take you around when we’re both free and we’ll make a date out of it.”

Date? Hot and cold again. This man needs to come with a warning! BEWARE will make you swoon and confuse the hell out of you in a matter of five seconds.
“Oh okay. Sure, a date.” I keep my voice casual and nonchalant. Two can play this little cat and mouse game. I’ll be the mouse since they’re clever and can get away from the evil cat.

I take a drink of my beer, never taking my eyes off Nicholas.
A small smile creeps on his face but quickly disappears. My nerves are all over the place. Alexis notices my uneasiness and quickly changes the topic.

“We should probably get going to mom and dad’s guys.” Nicholas and Larry finish their beers and I help Emma get ready. I mouth ‘thank you’ and try to calm myself down. This’ll be good...Right?

We take Alexis’ SUV and head to the Hayes
’ for dinner. It’s my first time meeting Dan and Patricia Hayes. I’m nervous to say the least even though I shouldn’t be. Emma is sitting between Nicholas and me. She has her head resting on my arm, playing a game on my iPhone.

Within a few minutes we’re pulling up to the Hayes’ home. My mouth drops. Their house…Wait no,
mansion
is breath taking. The columns stand tall in the front with the porch wrapping around the entire house. There’s a fountain in the middle of the driveway with a Lexus, BMW and Audi perfectly parked on the side. The three-story mansion overlooks the breathtaking ocean. I would love to live in this house. It’s beautiful and peaceful. I wipe a tear from my eye thinking about the house I grew up in.

“Hey you ok?” Nicholas asks touching my arm.

“Yeah,” I laugh. “Just reminds me of my childhood home back in Boston.” He smiles satisfied with my answer. We follow Alexis to the back. Her parents are at the grill laughing and cooking.

“We’re hereeeee,” Alexis cheers. Everyone starts hugging and kissing each other. I stay back a little and watch this incredible family and their love.

“Mommy I’m home!” I placed my backpack on the ground. “Thanks Patrick, for getting me up from school!”

He rubbed my head and smiled. “No problem Miss. Erikson.”

I giggled running through the house trying to find my mom. “Mommy!” I ran into my dad and looked up. “Hi daddy!”

“Hey Princess.” He kneeled down and met my eyes. “How was school?”

“So fun! I love first grade! Can I stay there forever?”

My daddy smiled and nodded his head. “I would love that. You’ll always be my Princess.” I threw my arms around his neck and snuggled on his neck. My daddy was the best and I was lucky to have everything I could have asked for. Life as an Erikson was wonderful and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything else.

“You must be Karly,” an older woman with dark brown hair and gray eyes comes towards me. She brings me in her arms, “It’s so nice to meet you.”

The emotions run through me. It’s been so long since I felt a mother’s love.

“Mom! Mom! Please wake up.” I cried out. She was passed out in bed while my dad was downstairs screaming at the staff. There were empty prescription bottles around the ground with a bottle of vodka nearly empty. “Mom, please,” my voice was quiet. I didn’t want him hearing me.

“Get away from her you little bitch.” His voice sent chills down my body. He wasn’t my dad when he was like this. I wanted my hero back.

I slowly got up and backed away from my mom. “Dad,” I started to say, “please calm down.” His fist connected to my face and I fell down. “Dad please stop.” I cried holding my face.

He kicked me in the stomach causing me to keel over. I was in the fetal position on the ground trying to remember the good times.

“You’re worthless. I wished you were never fucking born. Why don’t you go fucking die!” He screamed before leaving the room.

I lay on the ground crying. I looked up and my mom stared at me. Her eyes were empty and full of dark circles. “Mom?”

She shook her head and fell back to sleep.

“We’ve heard so much about you,” Patricia says bringing me back to the present. She pulls me in her arms, holding me tight. I fight back the tears that threaten to leave my eyes. No one can hurt me and I’m better. I’m stronger and deserve happiness.

“Thank you so much for having me over. It’s so nice meeting you. Alexis talks about y’all all the time.” She laughs letting me go leading me to her husband, Dan. “Hi Mr. Hayes, it’s nice to meet you.” He looks around and I wonder what he’s doing.

“Well my dad’s not here,” he laughs and I understand what he’s saying. “Call me Dan. It’s nice to meet you too, Karly.” He gives me a hug. Jeeze this family likes to hug. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“I will thanks.” Emma takes my hand and leads me down to the playground talking about how excited she is to start preschool and dance. “Maybe you can play with me when Aunt Alexis and daddy go to work?”

“Sure that sounds like fun.” She holds on to my hand tighter. I guess this is something I can do since I still can’t find a teaching job or anything. I’ve put in so many applications, but no response from anyone. I’ve applied to so many schools and even some day cares. Neil makes fun of me for even applying. I don’t necessarily need a job but I want one. What am I supposed to do with all my free time anyways? I look over at Emma swinging and laughing.
Babysitting?

I push Emma on the swing, hearing her laugh and telling me to push her harder so she can go higher.

“Having fun?”

I turn around and see Alexis sitting on the swing next to Emma. “Yeah I am. Thanks for having me over. Your parents are so nice.”

“Yeah they are,” she smiles. “Sooooo I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Yeah?”
Please don’t ask about Nicholas!

“A date with my brother, huh?” Her smile grows, looking at me and waiting for my reaction.

I don’t answer her. I focus on Emma, pushing her on the swing. Although a date with Nicholas does sounds fun. Isn’t there some rule that says you can’t date your sexy, hot and sweet best friend’s brother? “Ummm…” is all I can say.

”That’s what I thought. He’s a great guy Karly. He’s sweet and patient and I think you two will look good together.”

“What are you talking about? We’re friends and roommates, that’s it.” That’s what I have to keep telling myself. There’s no point getting my hopes up. Nicholas is too damn sexy and beautiful to notice me. He’s in the major leagues while I’m struggling to keep my head above water. I’m a mouse compared to him. No one notices a mouse. We’re the insignificant animals that people pass by. We’re what people feed to snakes. Yep I’m a mouse and he’s the one that everyone wants.